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Original poster

Snoring man in children's ward keeping everyone awake

155 replies

toadasoda · 23/09/2023 02:44

I'm in hospital with a sick child on a busy ward full of (obviously) sick little ones and the only person having a nice ol' sleep is the only man on the ward. Yes I know its 'not his fault' but is it fair to keep everyone awake? He knows he is a snorer so surely he should adjust position or set timers or something. Am I being completely unreasonable? I'd wake him only he is behind a curtain and I feel that's not fair on the child he is with. Why do snorers always get to sleep and not anyone else. In any other circumstances one person's needs wouldn't trump a whole group.

OP posts:
AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 09:10

Bellyblueboy

And if you are needed for care and support during the day, needing to be in a fit state to drive home to get things,care for other children, go to work….?

Never once in several years was I ever admonished by any nurses. They just appreciated me being there.

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:11

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 09:08

@VeridicalVagabond @Bellyblueboy OMG have you actually stayed with your child on a ward long term?
I HAVE.
3 weeks is the longest I did. During COVID so you couldn't swap parents. You couldn't leave the hospital once you were in. You couldn't leave the ward except to the M+S and back.
My daughter needed me there. Wanted me there. If I wasn't sharing her bed (which we often did) I would be on the pull out next to her holding her hand.
Everything I did while in that hospital was FOR MY DAUGHTER.
Me and my big snoring noise didn't want to be there. Was I not meant to sleep for 3 weeks? Wow that would have made me a functional person wouldn't it?
People snoring (not just me) is one of the 100 million noises you get in a children's ward - even at night.
They are not quiet. You do the best you can.

No as I said I have been the child with very long stays on hospital.

that is the perspective I am trying to give. The child who needs sleep. The child who finds hospital at night terrifying. The child who is alone at night and just wants morning to come. The child who doesn’t want to be woken by loud snoring right beside them behind a thin curtain.

aurynne · 23/09/2023 09:12

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 07:55

MentalBloch

What are his options? You don’t know his medical history. You don’t know the medical needs of his child.

What are his options? Easy really. Stay awake so you don't keep everyone awake too!

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about these subjects:

General health Sleep
VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 09:13

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 09:08

@VeridicalVagabond @Bellyblueboy OMG have you actually stayed with your child on a ward long term?
I HAVE.
3 weeks is the longest I did. During COVID so you couldn't swap parents. You couldn't leave the hospital once you were in. You couldn't leave the ward except to the M+S and back.
My daughter needed me there. Wanted me there. If I wasn't sharing her bed (which we often did) I would be on the pull out next to her holding her hand.
Everything I did while in that hospital was FOR MY DAUGHTER.
Me and my big snoring noise didn't want to be there. Was I not meant to sleep for 3 weeks? Wow that would have made me a functional person wouldn't it?
People snoring (not just me) is one of the 100 million noises you get in a children's ward - even at night.
They are not quiet. You do the best you can.

Yes. For eight weeks with my daughter, while my husband was stuck in another country and unable to come home, so it was just me. I'm also a (former) snorer.

I slept in my car, in the hall, at the nurses station, in the canteen. Wherever I could where I wasn't disturbing mine and other children. Or I didn't sleep.

My daughter needed me too, and I was there for her in whatever way I could be, but while she slept I slept elsewhere so she and others could sleep in peace.

I've since had surgery to correct my snoring.

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:13

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 09:10

Bellyblueboy

And if you are needed for care and support during the day, needing to be in a fit state to drive home to get things,care for other children, go to work….?

Never once in several years was I ever admonished by any nurses. They just appreciated me being there.

as I said, just trying to get you to think of the other children and point out why you might get filthy looks form other parents and their kids.

but I am clearly fighting a losing battle here.

hospital as a kid sucks. I hope your little one is doing better and brighter days are ahead.

VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 09:15

bruffin · 23/09/2023 09:07

Snoring is not selfish, it's something you cant help. I bet half the people who claim its selfish snore themselves
Very weird people on this thread

Show quote history

I was a snorer, it's absolutely selfish to inflict it on others and just expect them to put up with it, especially sick kids.

Sleep deprivation is torture.

I had surgery to correct mine.

JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit · 23/09/2023 09:17

I mean, he might snore like a tramp but it doesn’t necessarily make him an abuser. 🤷🏻‍♀️😂😂

BigTedLittleTedCardboardBox · 23/09/2023 09:17

Make a point of chatting to him today. "I'm not sure if you're aware how very loudly you snore. I think it kept the whole bay awake. Have you investigated sleep apnoea with your GP? There are some serious long term health implications if you have it, so you should have it checked out. Perhaps if you sleep in the chair it will let the rest of us get some sleep tonight."

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 09:17

@Bellyblueboy it is rare for children not to have a parent with them over night in hospital these days. It is pretty much expected and has to be quite extreme circumstances for a parent not to stay.
Also other patients - including children - snore too.
Hospitals are scary and noisy places so I am sorry to hear you had a bad experience as a child but if it isn't someone snoring who keeps you awake it would be one of the 100 more noises going on in a busy ward.

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 09:21

@VeridicalVagabond yes but you can't exactly arrange an operation to fix snoring asap when your child has just been admitted to hospital in an emergency 🙄
Some people might not even be aware they snore - if no one has told them.
@BigTedLittleTedCardboardBox I snore while sitting up asleep as well as lying down asleep so I am not sure what difference that would make to be told "can you sleep sitting up".

Slothmoth · 23/09/2023 09:29

it is rare for children not to have a parent with them over night in hospital these days. It is pretty much expected and has to be quite extreme circumstances for a parent not to stay.

Yes that's been the case when DS has been in, he's had to have a parent/adult with him because they admit they don't have enough staff to keep an eye/help them to the toilet/help feed them etc.

Sirzy · 23/09/2023 09:35

BigTedLittleTedCardboardBox · 23/09/2023 09:17

Make a point of chatting to him today. "I'm not sure if you're aware how very loudly you snore. I think it kept the whole bay awake. Have you investigated sleep apnoea with your GP? There are some serious long term health implications if you have it, so you should have it checked out. Perhaps if you sleep in the chair it will let the rest of us get some sleep tonight."

Ye add more stress and worry for him what a wonderful idea!

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:35

Slothmoth · 23/09/2023 09:29

it is rare for children not to have a parent with them over night in hospital these days. It is pretty much expected and has to be quite extreme circumstances for a parent not to stay.

Yes that's been the case when DS has been in, he's had to have a parent/adult with him because they admit they don't have enough staff to keep an eye/help them to the toilet/help feed them etc.

Obviously this was a while ago as I am now an adult. My parent stayed when I was very little (I remember being in a ‘cage’ I would have been about three and was horrified they had put me in a cot). But I also remember standing in the cage waiting for my mum to arrive in the morning to give me a bath (because I bit the nurses who tried😂).

I stayed for weeks at a time until I was about eight - as I got older my mum didn’t stay. Tiny children had parents and some older kids but not everyone. The parents were alway really quiet and nice - the noise was from the doctors and nurses.

Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2023 09:37

Paeds nurse, it's a really awkward situation as it's not their fault. We would maybe give the bed an accidental nudge if we were doing obs. But otherwise give out ear plugs to everyone else. It's even worse when the parent has sleep
Aponea!

bruffin · 23/09/2023 09:41

VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 09:15

I was a snorer, it's absolutely selfish to inflict it on others and just expect them to put up with it, especially sick kids.

Sleep deprivation is torture.

I had surgery to correct mine.

Show quote history

So nobody is allowed to sleep incase they snore, and everybody has sleep deprivation.
In OP's case how many people were actually awake because of the snoring.
I have spent weeks in hospital, snoring was the least of my problems sleeping.
Being woken up at 2am for a covid test
An alzeimers patient trying to get out of bed at 3 in the morning
7 weeks on a maternity ward with beds being shifted at all hours
Honestly snoring is usually the least of anyones worries trying to sleep in hosptial

Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2023 09:44

We would absolutely advise a parent with sleep apnoea to go to their GP. But I doubt they do as they can loose their driving licence.

Toddlerteaplease · 23/09/2023 09:50

Parents staying is not compulsory, we prefer it if they do. But some parents just can't stay. And that's ok.

DirectionToPerfection · 23/09/2023 10:03

Ultimately if there's 12 people on a ward (children and parents) is it better that one person gets a decent night's sleep and keeps the other 11 up (including sick children), or is it better that the one person causing the disturbance stays awake and then sleeps at home? I think it's pretty obvious.

Also to the posters saying there are other noises, that can be true but OP has said it's the snorer keeping everyone awake. Clearly any other sounds on the ward aren't so bad that he can't sleep. Loud snoring is on a whole other level, it absolutely goes through you.

margotrose · 23/09/2023 10:08

BigTedLittleTedCardboardBox · 23/09/2023 09:17

Make a point of chatting to him today. "I'm not sure if you're aware how very loudly you snore. I think it kept the whole bay awake. Have you investigated sleep apnoea with your GP? There are some serious long term health implications if you have it, so you should have it checked out. Perhaps if you sleep in the chair it will let the rest of us get some sleep tonight."

Honestly, if a stranger came up to me and spoke to me in such a patronising manner, I wouldn't pay them the slightest bit of attention.

margotrose · 23/09/2023 10:12

DirectionToPerfection · 23/09/2023 10:03

Ultimately if there's 12 people on a ward (children and parents) is it better that one person gets a decent night's sleep and keeps the other 11 up (including sick children), or is it better that the one person causing the disturbance stays awake and then sleeps at home? I think it's pretty obvious.

Also to the posters saying there are other noises, that can be true but OP has said it's the snorer keeping everyone awake. Clearly any other sounds on the ward aren't so bad that he can't sleep. Loud snoring is on a whole other level, it absolutely goes through you.

Maybe he can't go home. Maybe his child needs him there.

Honestly - nobody wants to be stuck in a hospital with their child. Complaining about an exhausted, stressed, worried parent snoring isn't going to help anyone.

Like PP have said, what if it was one of the patients snoring instead?

DirectionToPerfection · 23/09/2023 10:29

margotrose · 23/09/2023 10:12

Maybe he can't go home. Maybe his child needs him there.

Honestly - nobody wants to be stuck in a hospital with their child. Complaining about an exhausted, stressed, worried parent snoring isn't going to help anyone.

Like PP have said, what if it was one of the patients snoring instead?

Show quote history

So everyone else needs to be sleep deprived instead? The children don't have the option to go sleep at home.

margotrose · 23/09/2023 11:09

DirectionToPerfection · 23/09/2023 10:29

So everyone else needs to be sleep deprived instead? The children don't have the option to go sleep at home.

Show quote history

My point is that there's no real solution. You can't force someone to stay awake, or force a parent to go home and leave their small child alone all night just because you're tired.

I've had several noisy, sleepless nights in hospital - I would never dream of complaining about someone snoring. Yes, it's annoying and infuriating but it's not like they're doing it on purpose.

The way some of you are going on, it's like you think he's purposefully snoring as loud as possible to piss you all off Confused

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 11:20

DirectionToPerfection · Today 10:03

Ultimately if there's 12 people on a ward (children and parents) is it better that one person gets a decent night's sleep and keeps the other 11 up (including sick children), or is it better that the one person causing the disturbance stays awake and then sleeps at home? I think it's pretty obvious.

Also to the posters saying there are other noises, that can be true but OP has said it's the snorer keeping everyone awake. Clearly any other sounds on the ward aren't so bad that he can't sleep. Loud snoring is on a whole other level, it absolutely goes through you.

Err no a screaming scared child sobbing which only a parent can alleviate or a ranting deeply distressed teen in the bed next to you is way worse than snoring. Have had both.

Throwncrumbs · 23/09/2023 11:23

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 08:10

to Be frank I really don’t think most nursing staff value sleep for patients!

my dad just spent two weeks in hospital. In a bed in a corridor. Beside nurses station. The nurses made loud phone calls all night - calls on speaker phone about other patients. They shouted up and down the corridor, loud mobile phone ring tones. Unbelievably inconsiderate to the elderly sick man trying to get some sleep. Dad wouldn’t let us complain.

This man might not Know he snores. I would tell him: it’s affecting too many people.

Phone calls about other patients during the night may be for a number of things, blood results, relatives calling, arranging x rays, etc because you do realise that being ill isn’t a 9to 5 issue, things happen overnight that doctors and nurses have to monitor. Boils my piss that people think ALL patients sleep at night and the staff just sit chatting on their mobile phone for entertainment!

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 11:28

Exactly. People are admitted during the night. My child has been and been woken up by admissions. It is what it is. Night is just another shift. The same things need to be done regardless of what time of day it is.