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Original poster

Snoring man in children's ward keeping everyone awake

155 replies

toadasoda · 23/09/2023 02:44

I'm in hospital with a sick child on a busy ward full of (obviously) sick little ones and the only person having a nice ol' sleep is the only man on the ward. Yes I know its 'not his fault' but is it fair to keep everyone awake? He knows he is a snorer so surely he should adjust position or set timers or something. Am I being completely unreasonable? I'd wake him only he is behind a curtain and I feel that's not fair on the child he is with. Why do snorers always get to sleep and not anyone else. In any other circumstances one person's needs wouldn't trump a whole group.

OP posts:
THisbackwithavengeance · 23/09/2023 08:45

If you are a snorer, you have no business sleeping in communal spaces where you will disturb everyone else.

I hope you can find a tough Sister to kick the selfish fucker out or he can stay awake and go home in the morning.

Most women who snore wouldn't put themselves in this position out of embarrassment and guilt. Men who snore don't give a fuck because they are only impacting people they consider lesser than themselves I.e women and children.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 08:45

My child had to lie awake with noise all day and all night at times with nobody with her or to achicate.

I snore sitting up in a chair, in the car. Makes no odds. I was needed to support with care as my child needed a lot of support. We’ve been trying to hold down 2 jobs and many hospital admissions. My husband is the main breadwinner so I had to be the one there most of the time. Me not being there would have caused more work for staff.

You do not know the details of patients and families and maybe need to walk in the shoes of others before you spy,froth and judge.

Qilin · 23/09/2023 08:46

You say you've got headphones in loud. Is your little one asleep?

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Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 08:46

@neonjumper I don't know how to stop snoring. I mean I am asleep when I am doing it (obviously).
Seriously.....I snore. "Like a warthog" according to daughter who is now 15 and we shared a hotel room this summer. I did go and buy some of those strip things you stick on your nose which apparently made the snoring not as loud but didn't stop it.
Snoring isn't something I can control.

Dolores87 · 23/09/2023 08:46

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 08:08

You don’t know if his child has a hospital
passport or how distressed he was without his/ her father next to him. If he has autism he may well need the comfort .You really shouldn’t be spying on other bays.

I snore and have had to stay in with my children countless times often for several weeks at a time. No way would you be booting me out. I always worked with the nurses and were lead by them. Some times we’ve had to listen to a tv wheeeled in to be used to calm a distressed child. Sometimes we’ve had to endure moaning, crying all night. My daughter often needed obs throughout the night and was crying herself. My child needs quiet to focus on eating which she rarely got. It is what it is an overstretched ward with needs of many needing to be balanced. She never slept at night and caught up throughout the day.

And the sex of the parent is neither here nor there. I’m the snorer in our house and during 6 weekly stints we’d be swopping as to who was on hospital duty. So shock horror my daughter would have her dad some times and other times her snoring mother. Frankly given the huge amount of stress and upset we’ve experienced I wouldn’t relish the added stress of being ticked off about my snoring.

Do you use nose strips or nose vents and have you been to the drs for sleep apnea tests or do you just say "I am the snorer" and expect everyone else to put up with you causing them to have bad sleep?

As there are lots of things you can do about snoring that work for many people before it becomes "not your fault' and nothing can be done about it.

My partner tried to insist he was a snorer and nothing he could do about it for years. I bought him nose vents. Turns out they completely stop him snoring

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 08:49

@THisbackwithavengeance when my daughter was born and we were on the post-natal ward one of the other mums who had also just given birth just a few hours before was a very very loud snorer. Should she have been sent home?
What about patients who snore? They can't go home can they 🙄

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 08:52

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 08:45

My child had to lie awake with noise all day and all night at times with nobody with her or to achicate.

I snore sitting up in a chair, in the car. Makes no odds. I was needed to support with care as my child needed a lot of support. We’ve been trying to hold down 2 jobs and many hospital admissions. My husband is the main breadwinner so I had to be the one there most of the time. Me not being there would have caused more work for staff.

You do not know the details of patients and families and maybe need to walk in the shoes of others before you spy,froth and judge.

😂 I hope there is a little me on that ward who comes and pours a glass of cold water on you to wake you up so the other kids can get some sleep!!

Yes huge amount of empathy for parents but this is a children’s ward so focus should be on all the children. Maybe eight or ten on a ward. Lying awake listening to some adult snoring away!!

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 08:54

Yes tried all that, it’s hereditary. The past few years life has been taken up with far more important issues than pursuing it further.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 08:54

Bellyblueboy

Thankyou😳

VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 08:55

Shocker that all the people defending the selfish oaf are also snorers of the "I can't help it and everyone should just put up with it because my comfort is more important than a ward full of sick children" ilk 🙄

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 08:58

@VeridicalVagabond ok then....tell me. How can I stop snoring?
Give me some tips (ones that can be accessible quickly when your child has been unexpectedly taken to hospital and you haven't even got clean underwear with you let alone some magical anti snoring device).

margotrose · 23/09/2023 09:00

VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 08:55

Shocker that all the people defending the selfish oaf are also snorers of the "I can't help it and everyone should just put up with it because my comfort is more important than a ward full of sick children" ilk 🙄

I don't snore but I would love to know what you think the solution is.

People snore - that's life.

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:00

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 08:58

@VeridicalVagabond ok then....tell me. How can I stop snoring?
Give me some tips (ones that can be accessible quickly when your child has been unexpectedly taken to hospital and you haven't even got clean underwear with you let alone some magical anti snoring device).

On a kids ward if you are so loud you keep the children awake then you can’t sleep there. You stay awake then get some
sleep during the day somewhere you won’t disturb half a dozen sick and frightened children.

too much focus here on the snoring parent and not enough consideration for all the children.

VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 09:00

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 08:58

@VeridicalVagabond ok then....tell me. How can I stop snoring?
Give me some tips (ones that can be accessible quickly when your child has been unexpectedly taken to hospital and you haven't even got clean underwear with you let alone some magical anti snoring device).

You could maybe not sleep and let the sick children sleep instead? Or sleep in a hall or corridor for a few hours. Shocking concept I realise, putting ill children before yourself.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 09:04

So other children would rather have distressed scared crying children wanting their parent instead of snoring? No parent chooses to sleep next to their child in hospital.

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:05

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 08:54

Bellyblueboy

Thankyou😳

Important to think about this for the children’s perspective. Too much focus on the rights of the adult to disturb children’s sleep. And yes I was a little terror. I might have even written you a poison pen letter😂. I hate you, go home you horrible old lady. A nurse got one after she hurt me taking blood. I was very proud of it - my mother was mortified.

I would have more sympathy if the snoring adult was a patient on an adult ward and therefore had to sleep. But a parent can sleep a bit during the day rather than keep everyone awake.

BeverlyBrook · 23/09/2023 09:06

Kick the bed?
Selfish git
So sorry for you

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:06

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 09:04

So other children would rather have distressed scared crying children wanting their parent instead of snoring? No parent chooses to sleep next to their child in hospital.

You stay awake and sleep during the day. You let the other kids sleep. If you are that loud.

It’s not rocket science.

bruffin · 23/09/2023 09:07

VeridicalVagabond · 23/09/2023 08:55

Shocker that all the people defending the selfish oaf are also snorers of the "I can't help it and everyone should just put up with it because my comfort is more important than a ward full of sick children" ilk 🙄

Snoring is not selfish, it's something you cant help. I bet half the people who claim its selfish snore themselves
Very weird people on this thread

Openocean · 23/09/2023 09:07

@toadasoda how awful, I’m so sorry about this. In truth we have to acknowledge at some point that a shared ward for sick children, with nowhere adequate for parents to sleep is completely wrong. The health system is not fit for purpose at the moment, and it’s getting worse. One of the most basic things to help heal and recover is good sleep. I completely agree this should be addressed, but to be fair to that father, they just shouldn’t have to sleep in public under these circumstances.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 09:07

Bellyblueboy
And the perspective of other sick children needing their parent clearly doesn’t matter. Your empathy is admirable. You sound lovely.

30ishiwish · 23/09/2023 09:08

I only snore when I’m absolutely exhausted. After a long labour I was shocked when I woke and another new mum said that I was snoring.

Perhaps he too is exhausted. It’s tough and tiring for everyone when a child is poorly and in hospital.

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 09:08

@VeridicalVagabond @Bellyblueboy OMG have you actually stayed with your child on a ward long term?
I HAVE.
3 weeks is the longest I did. During COVID so you couldn't swap parents. You couldn't leave the hospital once you were in. You couldn't leave the ward except to the M+S and back.
My daughter needed me there. Wanted me there. If I wasn't sharing her bed (which we often did) I would be on the pull out next to her holding her hand.
Everything I did while in that hospital was FOR MY DAUGHTER.
Me and my big snoring noise didn't want to be there. Was I not meant to sleep for 3 weeks? Wow that would have made me a functional person wouldn't it?
People snoring (not just me) is one of the 100 million noises you get in a children's ward - even at night.
They are not quiet. You do the best you can.

Bellyblueboy · 23/09/2023 09:09

bruffin · 23/09/2023 09:07

Snoring is not selfish, it's something you cant help. I bet half the people who claim its selfish snore themselves
Very weird people on this thread

Show quote history

I snore. It’s not selfish because I live alone. Would I snore on a ward full of sick children -
no.

its not the snoring that’s selfish 1 it’s doing it on an open ward full of kids who are trying to sleep. It’s being the only person who can get some sleep.

Needmorelego · 23/09/2023 09:10

@Bellyblueboy also parents can't "sleep during the day" because A: the fold up beds need to be put away in the daytime and B: their child who is ill NEEDS THEM.

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