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Original poster

Snoring man in children's ward keeping everyone awake

155 replies

toadasoda · 23/09/2023 02:44

I'm in hospital with a sick child on a busy ward full of (obviously) sick little ones and the only person having a nice ol' sleep is the only man on the ward. Yes I know its 'not his fault' but is it fair to keep everyone awake? He knows he is a snorer so surely he should adjust position or set timers or something. Am I being completely unreasonable? I'd wake him only he is behind a curtain and I feel that's not fair on the child he is with. Why do snorers always get to sleep and not anyone else. In any other circumstances one person's needs wouldn't trump a whole group.

OP posts:
Iamasentientoctopus · 23/09/2023 05:56

Eugh I really feel for you. I’ve spent loads of time on children’s wards the last two years with my daughter and have had so many nights of zero sleep because of parents. Watching crap or listening to music into the night on their phones is the usual one but we’ve had a parent that turned on the lights to the whole room every time they needed to get up and another who played a harmonica all night. Absolutely crazy.

Setyoufree · 23/09/2023 06:09

Shared children's wards are hell. If it's not snoring it's beeping monitors, drip alarms, people watching videos with their phones on speaker etc.

Solidarity from me. All you can do is urgent eye mask and earplugs and keep breathing and focusing on yourself and your own child.

DivingForLove · 23/09/2023 06:09

@heyathere agreed. The partner gaslighting story is a particular level of twattish even from MN. Utterly ridiculous. My dh snores - he’s the gentlest most lovely husband and father you could ever meet.

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Madeinsuffolk · 23/09/2023 06:41

Sending hugs. On a previous thread I posted how I was kept up all night on children’s ward with my son by a family, yes two adults and a toddler, who were by their sick daughter’s bedside. iPads, overnight takeaways and loud phone calls on speaker phone sent me to the edge. Told nurses. They did nothing…….

previous wards have been noisy too, think it just goes with the territory but it is very selfish to not consider others.

bruffin · 23/09/2023 06:52

AlfredaTheGrape · 23/09/2023 03:17

I'd bet money on this chap being the sort who snores at home and tries to gaslight his partner who is going half-mad with lack of sleep, and does nothing about his snoring problem which he tries to deny or minimise.

I may be wrong but I'd still bet the money.

Parents sleeping on a children's ward (and wandering about when they need to go to the bathroom) is a safeguarding risk too especially in this era of wards being short-staffed. Although the parents being encouraged or allowed to be there is probably also due to the chronic short-staffing in the NHS.

What a ridiculous assumption. People cant help snoring. DH is lovely but snores. He waits for me to fall asleep if he can so that his snoring doesnt disturb me. I just give him a poke to make him role over if he is disturbing me.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 06:55

What an unkind thread. I’ve been in paediatrics countless times over the past few years with my daughter in for very long stints at times. She always struggles to sleep as it’s full of crying babies and toddlers, snoring patients, obs made, buzzers, nurses needibg to discuss things, distressed teens ….

You don’t know what the other family have gone through, the patients may have additional needs and you don’t know the potential reasonable adjustments or arrangements that have been made Pretty sure you’d rather that than a crying child all night. You should be letting other patients have their privacy not be spying and reporting on them online.

Finally I snore as do many other women I know. There is no cure.

Thisisveryhard · 23/09/2023 06:57

When I’ve been overnight on hospital wards I take ear plugs and wear cushioned ear protectors. I’ve always slept really well. I’m very sensitive to noise and go to bed earlier than most so I’ve always needed to find ways to ensure I sleep. It’s easier than trying to control those around you to be quiet, believe me. My parents first got me ear plugs as a child as I was so noise sensitive, and I’ve used them ever since.

Meadowfly · 23/09/2023 07:00

OP you poor thing. He is selfish, ignore the snorer sympathisers, they inconvenience others and don’t even care! And often when you have a dc in hospital you don’t have time to think about ear plugs (not something most people have to hand anyway).

reallyworriedjobhunter · 23/09/2023 07:07

I've done this twice - was in ICU with my six week old baby daughter for a week with bronchiolitis. By the time we got there and we're admitted I was so sleep deprived and that I practically passed out on the fold out bed they gave me. The nurses mentioned that I must have been tired and had been snoring but they didn't wake me and I was utterly mortified. It was ICU so no other patients but it was still incredibly embarrassing.

The second time was in A&E with a different baby daughter and a persistent very high temp. It eventually began to come down. She had been given a full size adult bed in a kind of storage nook and there were no chairs and I had to stand next to the bed to make sure she didn't roll off. I was on my knees with exhaustion and curled around her in the bed and we both finally got some sleep. Again, the nurses left me to it and later said that I must have been tired but I was very embarrassed about it.

DreamTheMoors · 23/09/2023 07:13

@toadasoda

The hospital will have earplugs.
Ask for a pair.

Snowdropsarelovely · 23/09/2023 07:14

I snore, it embarrasses me a lot and I wish I didn't but I can't stop myself. When my DC was in hospital I was really worried about annoying other families. If I did they were kind enough not to mention it

Simonjt · 23/09/2023 07:14

So many adults snore you just can’t expect a ward at night to be snore free, we all know hospitals are noisy, snoring, machines, crying, staff noise, people being admitted during the night etc. We always take ear buds and an eye mask when ours had been admitted when we’ve been making up their bag of things to take to hospital, we’ve also found hospital shops tend to sell them too. We have a little store of them in their drawers, so when we go to get pants, pjs etc we can grab then at the same time.

When my son was young and there were other patients a similar age all the parents of those patients slept in the bed with them, it helps them sleep which in turn will help other patients sleep due to less crying.

Longwhiskers · 23/09/2023 07:17

Oh OP it’s hell when you can’t sleep on a busy ward. When my daughter was 5 weeks she was very ill and admitted at 3am, with all the comings and goings of doctors I hadn’t been to bed at all. By lunchtime the next day I was grey and asked the nurse if I could fold out the little camp bed and have a nap, which i did. So by the evening I was desperate for a full nights sleep. But I couldn’t as it turned out the HCA assigned to the ward was a mate of another parent and they spent a lot of time chatting. Whispering and low voices but still! At 2 am I staggered across almost in tears ajd said pls just stop talking I’m desperate! Felt awful but had to say something.

Passepartoute · 23/09/2023 07:23

Did it disturb your DD? If so, you would be justified in asking the day staff to have a word with this man, because it will be impeding her recovery. But I do hope she's getting better.

margotrose · 23/09/2023 07:23

I think poor sleep is unavoidable in a hospital, unfortunately.

Patients snoring, kids crying, machines beeping, nurses working and doing observations, it's never dark enough and you're not at home in your own bed with your home comforts.

I don't think it's really fair to complain that he's snoring - he can't help it and presumably he has been caring for a sick child and is now exhausted - just like you.

I've stayed overnight in hospital several times and never get proper sleep. It just goes with the territory unfortunately.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 07:35

Leave the nurses to do their job. They do this every day 24/7. If there are concerns about patients they step in. They clearly don’t have concerns and don’t relish being told how to do their job. Top tip re parents with children in hospital, it’s not about you. The job of staff is to deal with the needs of the patients in a busy environment.

Sirzy · 23/09/2023 07:43

Hospital wards are horrible at night, lots of unavoidable noises sadly especially when you are in a bay type environment.

ds has spent way too many nights in hospital. A good nights sleep never happens it’s just par for the course. It’s the blaring TV and phone call people who are annoying not those who are lucky enough to be grabbing a few hours sleep!

individual rooms are much better for chances of a decent sleep but boring during the day when you can’t people watch!

Passepartoute · 23/09/2023 07:45

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 07:35

Leave the nurses to do their job. They do this every day 24/7. If there are concerns about patients they step in. They clearly don’t have concerns and don’t relish being told how to do their job. Top tip re parents with children in hospital, it’s not about you. The job of staff is to deal with the needs of the patients in a busy environment.

Don't be silly. OP has dealt with ONE nurse about this issue. Newsflash, nurses are not infallible and they are not all perfect.

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 07:49

Countless nurses will be continuously walking in and out of that ward all day and night as they do every day and night. They balance and know the needs of all patients. Visitors don’t.

Positive41 · 23/09/2023 07:50

Snoring is stressful. You and the other kids do not need this- their needs come first not his.

Tell another nurse or a doctor. Rest for the little ones is so important especially in this situation.

MentalBloch · 23/09/2023 07:52

I would be raging op. For all that he can't help snoring, he CAN help snoring his way through a night on a children's ward thus keeping everyone else awake. He has options, he's just too selfish to have considered them. ☹️

TicTac80 · 23/09/2023 07:52

My XH was a snorer so I do feel for you!! It's hideous not being able to sleep. Are you able to get someone to bring in ear plugs for you both? It might help things so that you can get some sleep?

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 07:54

Hospital wards are noisy, patients snore , cry, moan, ring the buzzer all night. What are you hoping to go- bug nurses all night about noise?

AutimnW1nter · 23/09/2023 07:55

MentalBloch

What are his options? You don’t know his medical history. You don’t know the medical needs of his child.

Original poster
toadasoda · 23/09/2023 07:55

I don't think anyone expects a good night's sleep in hospital. Of course there are going to be machines bleeping, nurses in and out, and upset children on a paediatric ward. But what upset me was the way he was lying in the bed, every one knows that's the worst position for snorers. And unbelievably all the little ones were quiet so it was just him. I had my daughters headphones with some relaxing music, I had to put it to absolute max volume to drown him out, he was insanely loud. If it absolutely can't be helped and snoring is inevitable in any position then halfway through the night he should be woken and others allowed sleep. That to me would be a fair compromise.

OP posts: