Ms vs Mrs ?

[happyfishcoco]

"Ms. is a general title that does not indicate marital status but is still feminine.
Mrs. is a traditional title used for a married woman."

I think I can address any woman as 'Ms.'
For example, if Mary Nelson is married to Peter Clark, she is 'Mrs. Clark,' but I can also call her 'Ms. Clark.'
However, my DH thinks this is incorrect because 'Clark' is the surname of Mary's husband, and we should not refer to her as 'Ms. Clark.'
So, what do you think? Who is correct?"

I think you ask Mary how she'd like to be addressed.

I think you should ask Ms/Mrs Clark which she prefers. She might still use Nelson.

My mum (married) uses Mrs. So do most of the married women i know tbh. Most have changed their name. A few have double baralled.
I can think of 1 married woman who uses Ms.
My friend in a same sex marriage uses Mx. As does her wife.
I'm unmarried. I still prefer Miss. My unmarried female friends use a mixture of Miss and Ms.

I have taken my husband’s name and my preference is Ms. Actually seeing Mrs written down by my name makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.

Husband and I share a surname, but I didn't take his. And I'm a Ms. Hate being called Mrs. I think it's safer to presume Ms unless corrected.

Mary might be Ms Nelson. Why are you assuming she changed her name? Peter might also be Mr Nelson. You both sound incredibly sexist to be honest.

In actual fact, Mary might still be Miss Nelson on most records because she married Peter and kept her name but all her records are from when she was unmarried and everyone defaulted to Miss. Mary has probably tried to change her title with the bank she’s had since was 11 but she needed her marriage certificate because apparently Mary can’t change her title without the marriage certificate. Mary can’t just decide she can’t signal her marital status with her title without proving her marital status. Mary might be thoroughly unimpressed with the whole thing but can’t actually be arsed to go to the bank, the doctors, the dentist and explain that she’s married but no, she didn’t take her husband’s surname (her husband didn’t take her name but nobody ever asks that) but doesn’t want to be referred to as Miss anymore. Mary does love it when she does the admin though and people call her husband Mr Nelson.

I'm currently getting divorced, but I have always used Ms. I used it with my maiden name and married name. Men's titles don't announce their marital status, so I don't see why women's titles should either. Hence my use of Ms.

Ask her, it is the only safe way! I prefer Mrs to Ms, but just among the people I work with it is hugely varied.

I would default to Ms if I didn’t know someone’s marital status or if I knew they were married but hadn’t taken their husband’s name.

I think if a woman is married and has taken her husband’s name then the correct title would be Mrs and it would be odd to use Ms in this scenario.

But like everything these days it’s probably a question of personal preference (indeed, the person might well identify as Mr!).

It's up to Mary.

I changed my name, but I use Ms.

Definitely ask Mary! In real life, I default to Ms unless informed otherwise where a title is needed. DH and I double-barrelled and I really don't like Mrs, I'm Ms or Dr (though even better is just first name and no title).

I'm Mrs <Husband's name>. 20 years ago when I got married, it wouldn't really have occurred to me not to take his name and I always thought Ms sounded a bit silly (pronunciation-wise, not on principle).

Even though I'm a lot more feminist than I was then, and totally accept that Ms is a good thing (though I still think Mzzz or Mizz sounds a bit funny), my name is Mrs <Husband's Name>, and has been for 20 years, so that's what I like to be called.

There is no official correct rule, just widely held preferences.
Ms is generally used for a woman when you don't know if she herself uses Miss or Mrs, or when she prefers to use Ms, so it seems the option that's best until you know to use another.
You might know for sure that this woman is married to Peter Clark, but unless you know whether she goes by Mrs Clark, Ms Clark, Ms Nelson or Miss Nelson (all of which would be fine!) I would opt for Ms Clark if you know she uses that surname or Ms Nelson if you know she uses her own surname.

I’m a lawyer. In court the default for women seems to be Ms. I practice under my maiden name as “Miss”; however, some of my colleagues prefer Ms (rather than Miss).

I wouldn’t use Ms if I knew someone was a Mrs though.

I think your husband is correct but recognize that it is entirely personal and people can chose 2hatwver they want. I'm a Mrs and would want to be addressed as Mrs not Ms. A relative is divorced but is still 'Mrs ex-husbands surname' as that's what she preferred rather than changing to Ms or reverting back to maiden name.

If “Mary” has the surname Clark that then IS her surname! Just because it is also her husband’s surname doesn’t matter one jot. If she has changed her surname then that is her name.

Do you mean you met someone who happened to have the same surname as you? Amazing if so.

Mary Nelson is called Mary Nelson. I would assume she was Ms Nelson or Dr Nelson. I would not call her Mrs Nelson.

If her name was Mary Clark then I would go for Ms Clark.

No I'm guessing they hyphenated or made a completely new one

i use Ms and my maiden name

She hasn't though. OP says her name is Mary Nelson.

People address me as Mrs because I’m middle aged. I used to be a Miss. It’s ageist.

I can’t be arsed to correct others.

Nothing to do with marital status but how young and attractive you are.

I’d not call her by her husbands surname. That’s not hers. Ms nelson or mrs Nelson if she wanted to be mrs/ms clark shed have changed her surname

I’m married but I use Ms. I don’t see why a woman’s marital status should matter. It doesn’t for men.

Ms is never "incorrect" but some don't like it. I think it's fairly safe to use it as a default these days but some might correct you to the title they prefer instead. You can't assume she has taken her husband's surname, if you don't know for sure that she has you need to stick with her birth surname unless she tells you otherwise.

I am the equivalent of Ms Nelson or Dr Nelson. DH is Mr Clark. I have no idea who Ms Clark is, and Mrs Clark was my late MIL, Mrs Nelson is my mother, and Miss Nelson was me as a child (I've been Ms since I came of age and gratefully switched to Dr when I got my PhD). I don't know if it's a generational thing but I've never used Miss as an adult any more than my brother has been Master Nelson since the 1980s.

However the GP knows me as Dr Nelson as does work, school start off with Mrs Clark and then go for some reason to Mrs Nelson or Miss Nelson and despite having some teachers who use Ms never seem to think that might be an option for me. Everyone else uses Firstname Nelson (because they don't know I'm married to a Mr Clark) and apart from a few dinosaurs when I tell them it's Ms they manage to cope.

Mx may mean nobody guesses you are female on paper if you don't use your first name but it's try-hard and wanky IMO and everyone will know you are female when they hear or see you.