Ms vs Mrs ?

[happyfishcoco]

"Ms. is a general title that does not indicate marital status but is still feminine.
Mrs. is a traditional title used for a married woman."

I think I can address any woman as 'Ms.'
For example, if Mary Nelson is married to Peter Clark, she is 'Mrs. Clark,' but I can also call her 'Ms. Clark.'
However, my DH thinks this is incorrect because 'Clark' is the surname of Mary's husband, and we should not refer to her as 'Ms. Clark.'
So, what do you think? Who is correct?"

This is part of the problem, most systems have titles as a compulsory field so people are forced to enter one.

There is no reason why it couldn't be made optional so people only use it if they want to and if not, they are addressed as Dear first name

Neither are right. Neither are wrong. When l am obliged to use a title (for example on certain forms) l use Ms as l don’t see what my marital status has to do with how l am addressed. It doesn’t happen with men. I do however accept that Ms doesn’t trip off the tongue very easily.

l think it’s best to address her as “Mary”.

I recently changed my surname by deed poll. When I went to the opticians I asked them to change my name on the system. The woman said "of course I can that do that. Shall I also change your title to Mrs?"
Me: "oh, no thank you. I'm still Miss"
Her: "but you've changed your name?"
Me: "yes, but not by marriage"

She seemed confused, but did it anyway. I found it interesting that she assumed a change of name also meant a change of marital status and title.

@ReadyForPumpkins is correct. It's to do with age. For centuries, 'Mrs', short for 'Mistress', was the title of respect for any adult women. It implied that they were grown up, responsible and often had a trade or skill or land or money. It did not imply anything about marital status.

Very interesting article here:
https://www.cam.ac.uk/research/news/mistress-miss-mrs-or-ms-untangling-the-shifting-history-of-titles

It says, among much else, that "England in the early 19th century was the only place in Europe where a woman took her husband's surname"

I always use Ms unless specifically asked not to. Which I never have been.