Morbidly Obese - help?!

[OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo]

I'd really love some support from anyone who has been here or who has knowledge in this area.

I am very overweight and really need to get a handle on it.

I would really like to try to avoid surgery although I suspect I would qualify.

Is there any help I can access?

Or what has helped people? its so different tryong to lose10 stone to 2! I am so ashamed its got this bad but I want to change.

Thanks. I'm adding the zoe ones to my list for when I'm waiting for kids at activities! Or actually now I'm coming off my drugs I'm waking at night so could play then too.

I just had a super size/super skinny thing come up on my phone and I wish I hadn't clicked. I hate how big I am and how far it is to go. I so wish I could go back and undo some of the trauma and issues. I still get flashbacks to moments although I'm much better than i was.

But the crisp addiction has pretty much stopped. Haven't eaten them since I started this thread! And when I got home from work my daughter asked if I wanted one of my "nut pots" (she put some in pots for each day for me) and I was so chuffed.

We had dahl and rice for tea which my husband makes and is really yummy. Probably could have done with some green veg but it was filling and nice.

Mr tescos came and I had a kefir drink then which in the past would have been looking for pastries/treats!

I know porridge isn't great for everyone but I'm having it with chia and flax and dried apricots and it's really yummy.

If I do the zoe thing in the new year I'll ne interested to see if I'm one of the ones it affects blood sugar wise.

I'm still thinking til Xmas I want to read upf/why we eat too much and tim spector and move towards less upf. Then in the new year I might be ready to do a more controlled zoe diet. I'm hoping if I can lose some weight I might be able to move more.

I'd really like to see results but I know that will be a long time. I hope it works.

You are doing really well @OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo.

Don’t worry about the porridge. It’s a filling healthy breakfast. Adding in the extras will help with any blood sugar spikes. I’d say if it does make your blood sugar spike you’d know as you’d be hungry before lunch. I can’t eat Weetabix as I’m starving an hour later so that definitely spikes for me I think.

There are quite a few threads on here about Zoe and a few people haven’t been overly impressed with the programme you pay for. I was tempted by it but am not sure any more.

The nut pots your DD made sound great. Lovely that she is helping you. And your dinner sounds yum. I love Dahl.

Every little change you are making is helping with the process. It will just take time. And I get why it’s horrible to think how far you have to go. It used to make me so panicky.

I was thinking last night about your suspicions you have ADD and wondered if that contributes to your anxiety and sleep issues. I wonder if getting that diagnosed and possibly medication if appropriate may help with everything?

It may help to reframe your thinking.
Every day you are taking steps to improve your health and wellbeing. That doesn’t mean that everything you do during the day is perfect but overall your outcome each day is positive.
Every week you are a bit healthier than you were the week before. Not every day will have gone perfect but overall you have made more good choices than bad during the week.
Recognise that the choices you are making now are the right one’s for the stage you are at. Sustainability is the key.

As a side note the Vadasz Pineapple and Turmeric Sauerkraut is a thing of wonder.

Thanks Chaz you are completely right. My brain goes down this "its all too hard and I'm going to die (well, get complications from obesity and my mobility is getting worse) line" and that's a good reminder that my brain is my own worst enemy sometimes.

Ooh pineapple sounds good. I have Mr tescos on a weekly delivery (mobility again) but I'm tempted by a one off ocado just to get that 😁.

Peridot- thankyou so much. Wise words as ever. I really do appreciate you sticking around on this thread 🥰. And yes it's that horrible panicky feeling I struggle with. It's much easier with things that you see instant results for rather than in 6 months you might feel a bit slimmer...

Add(and suspect autism too) . Well my doctors surgery is pretty rubbish. The previous GP had told me to drop the autism forms in, but wasn't interested and didn't give me the adhd ones. I've printed some off... but this was a year ago and she's left. 🙄. So ive left it.

I did wonder about a private diagnosis but not only is it super expensive but the NHS don't recognise it for prescribing it seems so it would be beyond expensive for medication (and I suspect my blood pressure would be too high for medication anyway. I did go round in circles as it does seem to be an appetite suprressent to. Apparently exercise can do wonders for some people with adhd but i cant really hit that one. I thought maybe if i lost weight...).

I've also wondered about perimenopause as that might have led to the huge increase in anxiety and sleep issues (or exacberatd adhd)

I'm still finding lunch a bit difficult to plan. What do people do for lunch?!

You sound much more positive - well done!

We had dahl and rice for tea which my husband makes and is really yummy. Probably could have done with some green veg but it was filling and nice.

Can you make sure you always have vegetables in the fridge and/or freezer so you can add those if your husband forgets? For instance, fresh or frozen spinach can be added to the dahl. Or French beans or just a couple of cups of mixed vegetables.

Or rustle up a quick salad (easy if you make up a week's worth of dressing at a time), and eat this before the meal.

That way you'll eat less rice. And can you make it whole grain rice?

I'm still finding lunch a bit difficult to plan. What do people do for lunch?!

I typically have a 2-egg omelette, either with a small salad or incorporating some vegetables (mushrooms, spinach, peppers or some left
leftover vegetables from last night's dinner).

Or a large mixed salad (e.g. greens/lettuce, red cabbage, tomatoes, cucumber, spring onions etc plus 1/3 cup of lentils or chickpeas oor half an avocado), with 2 boiled eggs or a can of tuna.

I always have, several bottles of homemade dressings in the fridge, but im careful to use just enough to dress the salad. Examples, including salt and pepper - plus I always add a few chilli flakes:

• Lemon juice and EVOO
• Asian - soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, ginger, garlic +/- fish sauce
• Wine vinegar, splash of balsamic, EVOO

I second the frozen spinach advice. Really easy to chuck a few lumps into many dishes - it's a traditional addition to daal - and it has lots of vitamins, minerals, fibre etc for hardly any calories.

Thanks for the suggestions.

Love the dressing ideas. I want to move away from mayo/bought dressings but never done my own and that looks simple enough I can do it!

I'm sometimes home for lunch but often finish at a location at 12.30/1ish so could do with things I have in my car. I've sometimes taken nuts if I know I'm coming home but reallyI think I need something I can pack quickly without too much prep. I will have a think as it would stop me binging when I get in (used to take crisps with me everywhere 🙄)

Green beens are a complete favourite. Fridays used to be "fun food fridays" for the kids when we were more restrictive with beige food but it kind of spread into other days too.

We've replaced this so for 3 out of 4 of us it's salmon and greenbeans (and other veg but they're the ones I love ) and new potatoes. It's expensive for us so it feels like a real treat at the end of the week!! Youngest has chips and beige food but does eat the veg which is good.

** adding frozen spinach and wine vinegar to the tesco list.

I've seen some discussion of apple cider vinegar. What di people do with it?! Drink it!? Use it as a dressing?!

Also "add 1/3 cup of lentils"

.... can you just eat them out of a tin? My husbands got a big bag he uses for dahl but the ones for sale look different. I'd quite like lentils with salad but how do I buy them that I don't have to do much to them? Or is it those packets like quick rice? Do lentils need heating?

Sorry for the really basic questions! I can so tuna/avo which would be great for salad.

Pulses in tins are already cooked so you can use them straightaway hot or cold. The ones in bags are dried so need boiling. Some dried pulses need soaking first but lentils don’t.

Ah fab will add some tins to Fridays order.

I'm quite enjoying this . Thankyou 😊

Regarding apple cider vinegar: there are some people who advocate drinking a tablespoon of ACV before every meal, but AFAIK there is zero evidence that this reduces glucose spikes. On the other hand there is a very real risk of damaging tooth enamel. Plus it tastes foul and causes bad breath... Personally I use it a fair bit in salad dressing or to braise cabbage, but that's it!

As for lentils, I have never used tinned lentils, so I have no idea whether they contain preservatives or other stuff? Probably not but I'd check. I tend to just cook a batch of dried lentils at a time and use them in curries, dahl and salads. They keep in the fridge for at least 3-4 days.

I use brown lentils, red lentils and mung beans, which don't need to be soaked and cook very quickly. I also use chickpeas and black beans, which I soak overnight before boiling. Incidentally, it is very easy to sprout mung beans; they make a delicious addition to salads.

https://www.heynutritionlady.com/how-to-cook-mung-beans/

I have never used tinned lentils, so I have no idea whether they contain preservatives or other stuff?

They don't. They are either in plain water, or water with a bit of salt.

@OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo I have not done the Zoe programme so I can't comment on it's effectiveness. I do follow their podcasts and listening carefully to what they say although they believe personalised nutrition will be very useful in the future, they are not there yet. So there is limited useful information that an individual can get from gut testing, continuous glucose monitoring etc at the current time (as opposed to what we can learn on a population level ).

From what I have seen on Mumsnet, people tend to find the Zoe personalised advice a bit generic at the moment. I don't think doing the Zoe programme is a magic wand but it might be a helpful tool or it might be beneficial to wait a while until it develops a bit more and can truly be useful to individuals.

Thanks yes it may well be that I can access a lot of the information myself.

I am really curios to know if I can improve my gut biome and to see how my blood sugar reacts though... but its at a hefty price tag isn't it?!

Yes, Im really curious about my gut microbiome too 🤣

Also, I recommend Dr Rangan Chatterjee's podcasts.

So was going really well today. But thus evening I've felt exhausted and eaten cheese and crackers. About 8....
Blue cheese so perhaps could tick a prebiotic bit but now feeling all the guilt and worried I won't ever beat this.

I was googling a different thing and found a thread I started 3 years ago when I was last trying to lose weight... and I was about 3 stone lighter then 😭.

We have changed our meals. And I am eating some fermented food each day. And trying to remember nuts too.

I am 5 days into coming off mirtazapine too.

Just wish I hadn't got the evening munchies!!!

One portion of cheese and crackers won’t do much damage. Beating yourself up over it or going oh fuck it and letting your eating slip for the next two weeks might.
You haven’t failed or done any harm you’ve just realised you are a human being not a machine. Think more 80/20. If you are making good choices most of the time the odd slip up doesn’t matter (unless it triggers a what the heck spiral)

Now you know you have evening munchies what is your solution? Are you genuinely hungry or would a hot drink do? If you aren’t hungry would something like a shower, watching a comedy, reading a favourite book distract and relax you? If you are genuinely hungry do you need to add more protein and veg to your evening meal? Are there some healthier snacks that might we helpful eg Greek yoghurt and fruit. To be fair a small helping of cheese and crackers isn’t a bad option and it’s hard to eat loads of a strongly flavoured cheese.

Oh I typed a reply earlier and lost it 😭.

It was proper stinkly blue cheese and so nice. It was a real craving. I dont think I get evening munchies all the time - this is the first "binge" I've had in the last couple of weeks, but will keep an eye on it now. I sometimes will have some yoghurt half an hour or so after dinner, or maybe a chocolate digestive sometimes, but this was a small meals worth.

Thanks for your reply. I think I'm less anxious about it today. I have these moments where I get anxious and it spirals quickly and I'm really working on talking myself down. Your posts (and others) have really helped me in those moments.

It's a bit "oh bother I've binged/gone off my plan I'm crap .. oh let's think about how much you have to lose....how big the task is... and how impossible it is... etc" whereas today I'm feeling more positive.

I am hoping that with reducing my meds (given to people/animals to gain weight 🙄) will help but having started a thread about that that's likely to be a month away. I've cut down but need to cut down again and it can have some odd side effects before you're off it completely.

Oh protein - I'm eating so much more protein on the whole (oats and chia/flax for breakfast, kefir/nuts in the day and dinner usually based on a protein. Tonight had avocado and refried/kidney beans last night had tofu noodles)

Again this has only been last few weeks. The decision to do a weekly online shop has been a game changer for us as I can add to it during the week and our planning is better.

I'm still a bit stuck for lunches when I want quick or packed but end up taking a nakd bar and some nuts (depends where/who I'm teaching.) Today I didn't take anything amd had a meeting so had "lunch" at 3 which wasn't great planning!

I'm having another wobble. Apparently less than 1% of people manage to lose weight if they're morbidly Obese, and the body tries to compensate... sk even those that do lose weight tend to put it back on over 7-8years.

I'm trying to talk myself down and think about feeding myself healthier and better foods but trying something with a 1% success rate is feeling a difficult path.

Even Tim spector in the thing I was listening too last night said it needed to be different for those morbidly Obese.

I'm so scared I've gone too far.

I know my GPS don't refer for surgery unless you've done tier 2 for 2 years and that's either sw/ww or second nature.

I'm so scared.

Everything you are doing is improving your health. Keep a record of all the changes you have made and discuss with your GP. Otherwise get them to sign you up for Slimming World then carry on doing what works for you. Nobody is going to sit in your house checking your plate 😉

If you lose weight, and put it all back on over the next 7 years, then by 2030 you will be the same weight you are now.

If you don't make changes to try to lose weight, and carry on with your old habits, by 2030 you will be a lot heavier than you are now.

So making the change is better, even if it doesn't stick.

(I know you know this, but sometimes it helps to see it written down.)

And the 99% who don't manage to maintain the weight loss will include a lot of people doing it half heartedly, or jumping from fad to fad (most of them complicated and usnsustainable).

You are taking a sensible approach - slow, sustainable changes, and making sure you understand the reasons for each change. That doesn't give you a guarantee, but it does give you much better odds than average.

Completely agree with @BinturongsSmellOfPopcorn. You are doing all the right things now. It’s not going to be an overnight fix. And you are going to have slip ups along the way. It’s normal.

Documenting everything you are doing is a great idea. And I’d keep a log of what you are eating. Not with calories. Just the meals. And snacks. Write it all down. Buy yourself a lovely new notebook and start keeping track of every little thing you are doing. It’s easy to just remember the times we had something we shouldn’t or slipped up somehow but actually seeing it written down will probably show you that in the big picture it’s a small percentage.

You haven’t left it too late. You are tackling it now. Slowly and sustainably.

Interestingly I had porridge for breakfast yesterday with added flaxseeds, pumpkin seeds and hemp seeds and coconut milk and blueberries and I was noticeably hungrier all day. I’m going to try again and up the protein content even more and see if it helps as I’d really like to have porridge some mornings. Saw a recipe on Pinterest yesterday for porridge with cottage cheese which sounds interesting!

For your lunches try looking on Pinterest for ideas of high protein lunches you can make ahead. There is quite a lot on there.

Also try to track how many grams of protein you are eating every day. You will need more than most people at this stage. Your cheese ‘binge’ the other evening might have been your body wanting more protein. There was a reason you had the munchies. Some cheese on oatcakes isn’t a bad thing to eat. Rather than beat yourself up for ‘binging’ try to work out why. I had a packet of Cheddars (mini one) and some Keto snack things I have last night and could have eaten more. I think it was the porridge for breakfast that made me hungry all day as I said.

Keep going. Keep posting. You are doing really really well!