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Morbidly Obese - help?!

319 replies

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 13/09/2023 17:07

I'd really love some support from anyone who has been here or who has knowledge in this area.

I am very overweight and really need to get a handle on it.

I would really like to try to avoid surgery although I suspect I would qualify.

Is there any help I can access?

Or what has helped people? its so different tryong to lose10 stone to 2! I am so ashamed its got this bad but I want to change.

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Sallyh87 · 30/11/2023 07:16

Well done @OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo, any loss is great. While it doesn’t seem big, the changes you have made will be making you much healthier!

Now you have once again inspired me to restart my diet. Just overweight here I come!

PaminaMozart · 30/11/2023 09:01

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 30/11/2023 05:52

Yes good point. I do know its not linear really - I think I had some unreasonable expectations!

Overall I'm in such a different place to when I started this thread. So grateful to everyone. It just is going to take years isn't it? I think I was hoping my initial burst might be abit more dramatic (as in the weight gained from the drug would fall off and then I'd work hard on the rest!) I can see thats silly!

Yes, it will probably take years. But every month or so, it will get easier. Getting used to a new, better way of living and eating, having a bit less weight to carry around, finding exercise less challenging.

Even if it does take years, you'll be in a much better place at the end of it.

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 30/11/2023 14:14

Thanks . In my head I assumed it would get harder as it will be harder to be in calorie deficit.... but I hadn't thought about the day to day movement being easier. It really will be as my body becomes more manageable 🥰

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loveyouradvice · 30/11/2023 17:08

Hi again... although the whole journey will take years, there are lots of wonderful things to celebrate along the way...I love Rataverse's celebrating every time 10% is off (which is a HUGE achievement!!).

And even if you choose to stop for a few months at a certain weight, which I did (a bit over half-way), you can enjoy the feeling and satisfaction of everything you've lost while practising just eating for maintaining weight loss rather than losing... It was fun and I felt a real sense of success.

Although I've lost 5 stone, there is an annoying 10lbs or so that comes on and off... I haven't yet nailed that!! Though I did have over a year at my goal weight which felt fabulous... What I enjoyed most was wearing old favourite clothes again (and buying a whole new wardrobe - Oxfam online fab value and takes returns!!), feeling really good in them, and yes the vain part of me loved all the compliments.

And the feeling of just being able to move SO much more easily is amazing - I loved imagining my body gliding down the street as I walk, and it really does feel like that without all the extra weight. That for me is the biggest benefit, just enjoying the feel and movement of my body.

So keep on congratulating yourself and revel in being a champion!! Yes that 1 in 1000 sounds tough - but that is what champions are, the 1 in 1000 and you are SO on track to be that. Totally agree with everyone that knowledge about UPFs, intermittent fasting, gut/Zoe, etc turbo-charge what we are doing and most people don't have this knowledge.

Two other things that helped me - I love the Glucose Goddess and have been giving her book to everyone - and my accepting that actually losing weight takes a LOT of time to be successful. Yup, those hours I spent motivating myself trawling the internet or imagining how my new body would feel after months of work were worth it.

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 30/11/2023 18:28

I love your posts they are so positive! Ans congratulations on all your weighloss. I think I'd be happy with a 10pound margin to fluctuate within from goal weight!

And yes I'm accepting its taking time. And energy. And a lot of reading and prioritising over some other things. It's a whole new thing to put myself first and prioritise all this.

I haven't read glucose goddess. I've read UPP now and there's a book I ordered that was recommended here - "why we eat too much" and Tim Spectre (from zoe) so was going to go for one of those next!

I also want to read the book on self compassion. I used to read so much and now I'm finding I have so little time and energy it takes me forever! I guess. I'm not rushing it like I used to...

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OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 30/11/2023 20:25

10% will be 2.3 stone... but I'm a stone in so maybe in a few months?!

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OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 04/12/2023 18:48

Well that was depressing.

1 chapter into listening to "why we eat too much" (discovering books on Spotify has radically changed waiting in the car for kids activities!)...

And our body has hormones and leptin and set points that mean our subconscious will overrule us and make us hungry every time we try to lose weight. And eventually pile on more weight. And lower our metabolism....

I do hope there is better news. Its ehat I'm scared of. That I'm so far gone that my body will fight weight loss and even if I lose 10.stone it will keep back on as my body makes it happen in the same way it knows how to breath and drink... 😬.

Does it get better?!?!

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 04/12/2023 19:19

Just keep going, no one is too far gone. There is a current narrative that the only way forward is injectable drugs and surgery and this just isn't the case. You're doing really well and you're just getting a bit impatient and scared ( I do too!) in a few months you will really start to notice the difference and this will spur you on to continue. Maybe read the book then at the moment just continue doing what you're doing because it's working and you are doing REALLY well x

PaminaMozart · 04/12/2023 19:39

Maybe have a look at this book by Dr Mark Hyman:

https://www.thriftbooks.com/w/the-blood-sugar-solution-10-day-detox-diet-activate-your-bodys-natural-ability-to-burn-fat-and-lose-weight-fast_mark-hyman/2911524/#idiq=4608835&edition=7620721

It has a good section on why we eat too much and the role of sugar and UPF in feeding our 'need' to overeat, but it is very practical and solution focused, with lots and lots of recipes.

(The recipes are very low carb, which would not have worked for me, so I always added in some complex carbs - including root vegetables, quinoa, lentils, chickpeas etc.)

I'd also suggest the very short and easily digestible (!) talks by Dr Becky Gillaspy on YouTube. There was a time when I watched one of them most days, and I found them both informative and motivating.

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 05/12/2023 08:19

Thanks MrsP I've been reading about setpoint and low chances of reversing obesity and that your body wants homeostasis and fights back etc. And yes that wls is the only answer... but you're right and eating better and exercising will only be good things even if I don't lose weight.

It looks like once you've lost 10% of your weight your body doesn't like it. Although elsewhere I've read it can go down again after a plateau and your body adjusts.

But so many people regain the weight its like we're adapted to return to the higher weight.

Panicking isn't going to help though I do know!

Thanks Pamina. I'm a slow reader currently so will read this one (and hope he has some good new towards the end) then look at that one.

I'm spending far too much time going in circles about all this. I don't want to spend years working towards weightless if it's impossible or it will just rebound. I feel bad enough about myself.

I am hopeful that reducing upf/sugar will help rest things. But from googling lots of people adapt to really low calorie healthy diets ....

And breathe.

Thankyou all. I've done another 28 days of 10-20misn exercise so setting the habit which is good.

And overall the diet is so much healthier.
I'm still nearly 12 stone overweight though which is frightening. It's a whole person.

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OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 05/12/2023 08:20

Ooh nearly 11 stone. Still a whole person but marginally better 😂

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BarrelOfOtters · 05/12/2023 10:40

My sister lost 10 stone during Covid...walking every day - 5Km, though now it's more like 10K as she lost weight, and eating well and tracking calories. She's maintained 11 stone now and is quite happy with that. It's possible. Keep going!

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 05/12/2023 14:15

Wow that's fantastic! Thankyou for telling me and so encouraging to hear it actually is possible 🥰

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85isalive · 05/12/2023 16:59

Can I join? I've been reading some threads for a while, but never comment. Your posts are very motivating!

I am 4 stone into losing at least 6, maybe 7. I am really slow. It's taken me a long time though, I get so far and then I stop, then I go backwards. So I am currently trying to get through December without doing too much damage.

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 05/12/2023 17:03

Oooh yes please do. And 4 stone wow!!! How have you done it and how has it been?

My obsessive googling recently has taken me into reading about platueas and how that's normal while the body adjusts to a lower set point. I think...

And rebelfit who I am currently signed up to talks about not gaining being a skill to be celebrated in itself! I've got 10 stone in total to lose to not be obese (and still be 2 stone overweight but I'd take that) but not sure how far I can actually get.

Really in it for the long run as can't see it will be quick. I just wish I could be down to 16 stone when I was really anxious about weight instead of putting so much more on. Sigh.

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MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/12/2023 17:05

A family member went from a size 24 to a 12 in a year , she looks incredible as she lost 5 stone. She is the first to admit she still has to work at it every day or she will regain the weight, she sees it as a life long journey but she's kept it off well over a year, I think it's two actually now iirc. She inspires me to keep going. Just keep doing what you're doing OP and don't read the books if they scare you, read about nutrition instead and look up nice recipes.

85isalive · 05/12/2023 17:08

Calorie counting and walking. I am 3 years into it so far 😂
I gained a good bit over the summer, but got that off again now.

There are some great accounts on instagram where people have lost loads, but when you're in the middle of it, it's difficult to focus on the end goal.

I work on really small targets, like the next stone bracket, the next 5 lbs, the next kg bracket etc - if I just aimed for the end goal, I'd never feel I could achieve it.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/12/2023 17:08

The plateau thing is interesting, I have been hovering at the same weight for a while after consistently losing weekly but have started losing again, I needed to alter some things, drink a bit more water , seems to be working.

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/12/2023 17:10

Break up the loss into half stone targets, it's too overwhelming for me to think about a total goal. Much more manageable that way.

85isalive · 05/12/2023 19:44

I have seen posters mention lower set points a few times on MN, but I must admit I don'tknow much about it. Is that when you lose a chunk of weight, your body adjusts and your new weight becomes your "normal"? If so, I think that has happened me a couple of times. At my heaviest, I dropped a bit of weight a few times, but always ended up back within a couple of pounds of my start weight.

Then when I successfully got down a couple of stones I levelled off for a while. I stopped cal counting, and gained a bit but then stopped at my "new" highest weight.

Now I am down another couple of stones, I have another new point where I don't go above. I have got back up to it a couple of times. At that point something seems to click in again, and I start to sort myself out and get back on track.

Hoping for another, lower point soon!

85isalive · 05/12/2023 19:48

MrsPelligrinoPetrichor · 05/12/2023 17:10

Break up the loss into half stone targets, it's too overwhelming for me to think about a total goal. Much more manageable that way.

I have 28 small targets on a spreadsheet. Some of them are only 1lb, but I get on tick off a goal every couple of weeks. I am hoping to tick off no. 12 tomorrow.

Things like
Next stone bracket
Next bmi point
Next round number of lbs
Next 5 lbs
Next 7 lbs
Next 5 kilos

I have loads of them
Like a toddler's toilet training chart 😂

loveyouradvice · 05/12/2023 20:18

So so agree on small targets....

I work on really small targets, like the next stone bracket, the next 5 lbs, the next kg bracket etc - if I just aimed for the end goal, I'd never feel I could achieve it.

For me, seeing that my weight starts with a NEW number, like 13 rather than 14 stone, and when moved closer to the new number than the old (like you MrsPP) so I'd moved down a 7lb bracket was VERY motivating

Onemorestep - how do you think you might spend less time in the negative spaces of self-blame/how did I get here/its not going to be possible and more time in the headspace of Yes I can do this, just one step at a time??

Some great ideas coming from people on here - like reading the books/listening to podcasts that motivate you - hearing about others who've done what you want to do and kept the weight off - etc... I really did find this was the game changer for me: spending time enjoying researching how to do it and chatting online to others who had, so in a positive space about my weightless ... learning how to make IF work for me, and how to help manage my blood sugar (which is very volatile!!)...

And yes, I am slightly embarrassed to admit this ... feeling heroic about what I was doing... Recognising that it is tough and I WAS DOING IT... feeling a real pride in it, knowing so many don't and can't and I was in the group that was... and it is a big and friendly group as you are finding out! All cheering each other on, commiserating when it's not working so well and celebrating each and every success....

You have already lost a BIG chunk of weight ... you are on track to lose a whole load more!!

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 10/12/2023 08:00

Yes I think setpoint theory is that your body self regulates to a certain point. So if you underneath you will feel hungry, overeat and feel full. If your set point has been raised to 15 stone then eating less will make you hungry.

I think in the book he's going to say it's possible to lower set point by eating whole foods. But first section was all about genes, environment and processed food and dieting all raising our set point. And disturbing studies showing that animals made to "yoyo diet" ended up literally needing 500 calories less to keep pace with a similar sized animal. So after dieting a 12 stone woman may need 500 calories less than another 12 stone woman... eek.

Loveyouradvixe. That is a fantastic question about headspace. I think I come and post on here when I have a wobble so it isn't every day. And overall I'm pleased with the changes nutrition and exercise have brought so far. But I'm still over 21 stone 😬.

It's actually the reading the books and the researching that is both motivating me to eat well, as you say, but also that is leading me to question whether it's possible. The books (both ultra processed people, and now "why we eat too much" ) both are very kind in the "it's not your fault" sense but both talk about it being pretty impossible to recover once reached morbid obesity.

Why we eat too much has said that if you're overweight or slightly obese it might the possible to recover with a change of eating behaviour. But that if youee morbidly obese your hormones (i think ti was hormones) literally work against you. The chapters of insulin and leptin and the such like make out that your body fights any attempt to lose a lot of weight as fat is another organ with its own signals.

Researching online has also led to the stats around it being virtually impossible to return to a normal weight if morbidly obese without surgery.

Hence my wobbles that I'll be working hard and still need surgery.

I'm working so hard at this and yet at nearly 22 stone it's a bit scary if I can only lose a few stone and then level off.

I so want to be even just "overweight" and its such a long journey.

I hate that it's so visible to everyone else. And although my interest is now exercising and eating well its not like I'm in that bracket of people who exercise and eat well!

Wins though - I managed walking round a supermarket yesterday and have avoided that (due to no seats) for a good while!

OP posts:
Sallyh87 · 10/12/2023 14:03

85isalive · 05/12/2023 19:48

I have 28 small targets on a spreadsheet. Some of them are only 1lb, but I get on tick off a goal every couple of weeks. I am hoping to tick off no. 12 tomorrow.

Things like
Next stone bracket
Next bmi point
Next round number of lbs
Next 5 lbs
Next 7 lbs
Next 5 kilos

I have loads of them
Like a toddler's toilet training chart 😂

Such a good tip, I’m going to take this one on. Then give myself a hello douggie star sticker when I achieve!

OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo · 14/12/2023 23:57

Yay for stickers!

I didnt weigh myself this week as had a bit of a family crisis. Not sure when I can get in to weigh either! Could be Tuesday.

I kind of want to know now but also know I've had a wobbly week with processed foods so may be retaining more water.

Today was first binge in a long time (2 packets of crisps and a croissant) but ate it consciously knowing I was self medicating and then was fine at dinner with just less carbs and lots of veg. So not great and not been a good few days but trying not to let that push me off.

Again - lots going on but managed exercise half the days I think the last 2 weeks.

Now absolutely exhausted.

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