Morbidly Obese - help?!

[OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo]

I'd really love some support from anyone who has been here or who has knowledge in this area.

I am very overweight and really need to get a handle on it.

I would really like to try to avoid surgery although I suspect I would qualify.

Is there any help I can access?

Or what has helped people? its so different tryong to lose10 stone to 2! I am so ashamed its got this bad but I want to change.

@OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo This is just my experience and I am not suggesting that it will be the same for anyone else. But I share in the hope that this will be helpful you you or other readers.

I am definitely part of that statistic. Losing substantial amounts of weight and then piling it back on again in a seemingly endless cycle since my teens (and I'm 50 now). In 2020/21 I lost 35 kgs. I thought that this time I'd cracked it, and learned all the lessons of past failures. I cannot express the utter disappointment I feel that I put 25 of those kgs back on in about 12 months. But when the weight goes back on, it feels like I'm just not in control of it. The rational part of my brain knows what's happening but I'm powerless to stop. What I can say for certain is that for the past 35 or so years that I've been dieting, I never lost a gnawing 'hunger', and even when I was full I felt a craving / hunger which I always had to be in control of or it would eventually drive me to overeat and pile weight back on. Through Gillian Reily's programme and also the Brain Over Binge book, I learned how to recognise and to be in control of the cravings, but I never achieved freedom from them and in the end, even after months or years they eventually overwhelmed me and I piled on weight again due to overeating.

But since cutting out UPF from my diet, that 'hunger' is gone. And reading CVTs book I can understand why. I'm no longer consuming foods that are messing up my body's natural signals and which are specifically designed to be addictive and make me crave them. Ordinary innocuous food like the bread in my sandwiches, salad dressings, yoghurts, protein bars etc etc. 'Healthy' foods that I was consuming as part of a 'healthy' weight loss plans.

I don't know if this effect is permanent, maybe the cravings will come back and I start overeating and piling on the weight again. I don't know if it's possible to reverse the changes made to my hormone responses, gut microbiome and neural pathways by a lifetimes consumption of UPFs. All I know is this feels different. I'm not 'controlling' the urge to overeat, it just seems to be gone. So I'm hopeful that this time perhaps I won't be that statistic.

I think by aiming for a healthy lifestyle as well as weight loss you are giving yourself the best possible chance. I do wish you well.

Really interesting post @Bundlebee. The food industry is so so culpable in the obesity crisis. And the slimming industry who have encouraged intake of so many fake foods.

When you look back at previous generations who didn’t have access to the ultra processed foods that make up so much of our diets these days and look at what they ate and how they ate and the small number of people who were overweight even though they may have eaten dessert most days or cake. But all of their foods were home cooked.

Op, I am 250 lbs or I was a month ago, I've lost about half a stone in the past three weeks. I too wanted to avoid surgery if I could. I was always trying to control my eating but really struggled with it however I recently joined the Gym and go at least 3 times a week now I stick to walking on the treadmill, the elliptical trainer and bike for now as they are low impact on my joints. I am already so much fitter than I was and am now bounding up flights of stairs, sleeping better and have more energy. I am also naturally cutting down on snacks and cola, which was my downfall and I am getting to grips with a food logging app to count my daily calorie intake.

I know it seems counter intuitive but try starting with exercise if you can manage it, don't worry too much about food until you start to feel the benefit of the exercise and then think about food.

I know I am in the early days of this but I have been trying and failing for so, so long you would not believe and finally something is working for me!

Thanks all. Exercise is pretty limited at the moment (Part-time of the problem - ME led to low mobility and now my size is making it hard. I can't walk far at all. But I am doing a 10minute a day thing as of the last 2 weeks!) Pre ME I belonged to a rambling group so I really do hope it will come back if I lose weight.

I've got to get back to tier 2 about second nature. I'm half tempted as it's free vs zoe which is expensive and was thinking of dojng in 6 months or so. I dont know if SN would be a distraction/counter productive.

I am eating so much better overall. The odd biscuit or cake with friends/work but at home it's been easier than I thought. Family had a shop bought lemon meringue and nothing about it called to me!!!! Similar with a mcdonalds trip. I ate a couple of chips from the bag and a chicken nuggets and really didn't want my own portion.

Jiving a meal plan and having it in is helping.

Lunch is the one area I've no sussed and is currently a nakd bar and then something 3ish (sometimes blue cheese on sourdough- but with kimchi and some celery or whatever we have)

I'm trying to eat nuts/seeds most days too.

There's just this nagging fear still that its a huge task and statistically very unlikely so it would be great to have someone helping!

I think Second Nature maybe worth a look. It seems to give support from a nutritionist. How good that is I don’t know but it may help. And at least you are ticking an NHS box for their Tier 2 services.

May be worth looking to see if any one on MN is or has used it and what their thoughts are.

Thanks. I need to call the tier 2 people back next week. I need to ask how I show '2 years with tier 2' if they fund 3 months as well!

Hmm it's main thing seems to be low carb and being mainly veggie I am eating beans and things to move away from upf. I thought we were supposed to eat some form of carb with each meal?!

Is zoe low carb too? Or not fussed with carbam

I don’t think we need carbs with every meal. Remember there are carbs in fruit and veg. It’s not just bread or rice or pasta. Beans would be quite high in carbs. So if you are eating lots of veg and beans and other pulses you really don’t need other carbs.

The so called healthy eating pyramid does say to eat quite a lot of carbs but I don’t agree.

Thanks. I mean I was worried I'd have to cut out beans I things.

I guess I cna give it a go.

I'm not an expert, but the body burns carbs first, before it starts burning stored fat. So by reducing carbs, and mostly eliminating 'empty' carbs like pasta and bread - your body uses your stored energy sooner, and people lose weight faster.

For weight loss, then generally low carb brings faster results. For 'healthy eating' i.e. not put weight on, then you can have more of a balance.

Peridot is right though, that carbs are in basically everything anyway.

I think Zoe is more 'low GI' than 'low carb'. The former does mean limiting carbs - and especially limiting types of carb - to avoid glucose spikes, but it concentrates more on neing aware of the effect of what you eat rather than cutting out food groups.

Full-on low carb/keto always looks rather tricky for veggies.

Could be okay then.

It isn't keto/super low carb but reducing bread/potatoes/rice I think

It's main push seems to be avoiding upf which is what we're doing anyway so it may tie in.

I will ask tomorrow what happens after 3 mo ths if I have to be "under tier 2" for 2 years. And maybe give it a go. I wanted to avoid anything too diety but I guess 3 months of cutting down bread and potatoes alongside the upf can't harm...

I also didn't want to start zoe if I do sign up to zoe until I'd been off my drugs and given myself a chance to get into the way of eating first. Mainly as its so expensive I want to do it right when I do it. Maybe Feb...

So maybe 3 months of this first wouldn't harm. And it looks like I can follow zoe principles that I've found so far while on it (low upf/ fermented foods/30 plants) so it might feel I have a plan

I'm a bit wary of anything I can't stick to as want to change for the long term.

Have a look at some of Dr Becky Gillaspy's short talks - really useful and succinct. Here is an example - there are loads:

I listened to 2 or 3 a week and find them very informative and motivating.

Hi @OneMoreStepAlongTheRoadIGo, I too am obese. I started about a month ago trying to lose weight. I think it took me so long as I felt so fat the journey to lose weight seemed too much. Like throwing deckchairs off the titanic. Anyway, I’ve lost about a stone in a month.

Intermittent fasting seems to work for me coupled with very low carb and minimal alcohol. I also try to get out walking despite some mobility issues and generally doing as much exercise as possible.

Good luck, sounds like you have the attitude!

Well done @Sallyh87 that's a fab start!
And great to hear its working.

Sometimes the big picture is overwhelming and we really do just need to do the next step we can do.

Yes it’s the cumulative little things we do that will get us there.

I was supposed to go to the gym this morning but really wasn’t feeling it. And of course felt rubbish and guilty but still couldn’t make myself go. But I did a mini workout in the bedroom of stuff I could do. Which was better than just not doing anything.

So - Rang up today to agree to "second nature" and had told my husband etc...to find out they will let me have a second round of coaching!

It's 6 sessions - it counts as "tier 2" and because I did it years ago I know they are fab and help you goal set etc without being tied to a specific plan. Which is brilliant. I can use the sort of goals we're talking about here AND count as engaging wtih Tier 2 AND have some support. I did wonder if I could ask to space them out so it "lasts" a bit longer.

What they couldnt help with is how you are seen to be "engaging with tier 2 " for 2 years if their support is for 3 months. Althogh she said the main thing is you are making efforts to exrercise/nutrition etc. I dont know how my dr will know that if Im not seeing them/ doing tier 2... so may need to make an appointment to ask when I've done the coaching. Not sure.

BUt that's a win. Also the exercise programme of 10 mins a day I've been following I've now done for 20 days only missing a few.

I'm also not craving food between meals. I really did mainline crisps. Us having a meal plan and food order is really really ehlping. My husband was happy to cook but would at 5pm go "what shall we have" which led to convencience food. If I do the planning the great thing is he is happy to cook which means we're eating much better.

I don't think I can afford to do Zoe yet - I will see if I can watch as much as I can. The bit I don't really know about is "food combining" and haven;t found a thing on that yet. But we are definitely eating 30 plants (helped by there being about 5 or 6 in kimchi and about 5 in my mixed nuts, plus chia/flax/oats means 15 a day before I've even eaten veg with my meal.

Today for lunch (came home) I had a hard boiled egg (left over from husbands breakfast) and 2 x types of kimchi and a slice of sourdough toast with a bit of blue cheese. Wanted celery as well but we're out so will order that. And I was full and it was really nice.

Dinner was a sort of thai curry but basic paste and a lot of veg which was nice. and some rice. Will have some kefir later as "pudding".

So not "perfect" but 1000 times better than my diet was and getting a lot of Real Food in.

My downfall currently is I run a lot of groups and occasionally we have a biscuit. And Fridays Im on site and they have iced buns/cakes/something special for Friday and I like taking part. Part of me is wondering if those are my sweet/ UPF things during the week it isnt too bad for now. We are leaning towards greek yog/ fruit for "pudding" when we have it. Had stewed pears yesterday which was nice.

Peridot - well done for doing something. That sounds fab :) I've been reading about "silencing the inner critic" which resonates so much with what you (and some others) have been saying to me on this thread. I think we're our own worst enemies sometimes.

Oh just twigged some of my lack of cravings is probably due to coming off my drugs/being in withdrawal so may not.last 😔.

But the healthy changes are good so far.

That’s great news about the coaching. Sounds really good.

Your lunch yesterday sounds good. I had a plate of two Ryvita with hoummous and chopped tomato, a spoonful of the red cabbage sauerkraut from Loving Foods, a few grapes and a pickled gherkin. Definitely need more protein as was hungry in the afternoon so had some sliced Turkey. Followed by a banana. Followed by a Babybel. Note to self eat more protein with meals!

I think having your treat on a Friday is fine. Once a week it’s a treat. Every day possibly not! We can’t never eat foods like that as it’s a part of life but really limiting them is doable. And you’ll probably find you’ll enjoy the Friday treat more or even get to a point that you don’t enjoy it as it’s too sweet.

With regard to cravings I’ve long had the thoughts that often those cravings we get are due to our bodies needing real food as a diet high in UPFs doesn’t have a lot of nutrients and that’s what we are craving. But we sort of mistake cravings for real food for cravings for crisps etc. Because how many of us recognise a craving for broccoli! Knowing more now about UPFs it’s even more obvious I think. But we are used to processed foods and that’s what we go for.

So I wouldn’t worry that your cravings are dissipating only because of the medication but it’s also very likely it’s because you are eating so well now.

Just a bit of an update and a huge THANKYOU to everyone on this thread for helping get my head out of the "too big and scary/impossible" place

I weighed myself yesterday at the doctors, and 5 weeks ago at that pointless visit.....

And I'm half a stone down!!!!
I used to avoid scales but I'm going to weigh once a month I think. I dont want it to put me off but I'm hoping it will encourage.

I'm also now nearly 4 weeks off the evil appetite enhancing drug. It is SO much easier when I don't feel hungry all the time - I am a bit worried appetite will come back when I'm fully withdrawn. (One reason I did wish I could get adhd meds tbh)

I haven't signed up for zoe as too expensive and not sure I cna do the the constant logging. But am listening to some of their videos.

I'm a good chunk thru UPP. I discovered Spotify has it free so now listening to a chapter at night while I read as it's so much easier!

Diet wise - we've reduced a lot of upf but still a work in progress. I have kinchi most days. Yoghurt or kefir most days. Not sure about the kombucha as have remedy one with fake sugar/etc but been having it.

Still get overwhelmed when I think losing 100lbs would still leave me morbidly obese. But it's a start right?

Just rereading yes I'm not sure I'm getting enough protein in at lucnh/find lunch difficult to navigate and still have a nakd bar on way to work which has flavourings but feels somehow "better" in my head.

Congratulations. Excellent start. Onwards and downwards.

You'll get there if you keep on making small improvements. Cutting out UPF, one at a time. Eating mostly plants. Protein instead of sugary whatnots. Chicken, salmon, eggs. Finding ways of enjoying vegetables. Exploring different flavourings - Asian, Middle Eastern, Mediterranean... 1 step at a time
!