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Original poster

How do I say no to this ?

137 replies

Haircut100900 · 10/09/2023 21:20

Life long people pleaser

Friend has asked me to look after her dog in the day. I don't want to do it. End of. I know she is desperate though. But at the end of the day, she chose to have the dog. I don't have a dog because I don't want to look after one, simple as. I cannot say no without any reasoning. This is a really close friend.
What the hell do I say ?

OP posts:
mimosa1 · 10/09/2023 21:24

"I'm so sorry but I can't help as I have an appointment / lots of work on / will be out of for part of the day "

Funngames1 · 10/09/2023 21:29

A one off or a long term thing? A one off I'd do it for a friend. A long term thing - 'I'm sorry I can't commit to that. It wouldn't give me the flexibility I need to do blah blah '

Globules · 10/09/2023 21:34

Be honest.

I love you, but I don't want to look after your dog every day. That's why I don't have a dog of my own. Here's the phone numbers of a few local dog sitters that you might find useful.

tealandteal · 10/09/2023 21:36

One day I would just get on with it if I’d agreed. On an on going basis, no that’s a very big commitment.

TeaKitten · 10/09/2023 21:36

How often does she want you to watch the dog? And why? Not that it matters, she’s cheeky to ask!

Funngames1 · 10/09/2023 21:38

It is not 'cheeky' to ask a 'really close friend' for a favour for a one off.

It is however not on to expect ongoing care.

Whataretheodds · 10/09/2023 21:38

"I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable doing that"

Doggymummar · 10/09/2023 21:39

I don't have any insurance, sorry I cant

TeaKitten · 10/09/2023 21:40

Doggymummar · 10/09/2023 21:39

I don't have any insurance, sorry I cant

Insurance for what?

Iloveacurry · 10/09/2023 21:43

If it’s s one off, then that’s fine. But if it’s everyday, then it’s not really your problem. She need to make other arrangements.

ShippingNews · 10/09/2023 21:45

Globules · 10/09/2023 21:34

Be honest.

I love you, but I don't want to look after your dog every day. That's why I don't have a dog of my own. Here's the phone numbers of a few local dog sitters that you might find useful.

This ^

She might be a close friend but she is taking advantage of you.

A tip that I find useful - start your answer with the word "NO". And if she tries to convince you, keep the word NO in every sentence you say. It reminds you of where you are going with this - mentally you are staying with your decision. Go for it - grit your teeth and phone or message her.

HikingforScenery · 10/09/2023 21:49

I agrée with saying it outright, with a kind of apology. I’d really hate it if my friend asked me for a favour like this. Thankfully though, i don’t have any close friends with dogs so unlikely

BMW6 · 10/09/2023 21:50

No, I don't want the responsibility and commitment of having a dog. That's why I don't have a dog.

Honestly your friend is being incredibly presumptuous even asking you! Who the fuck does that?

Get angry OP, if she keeps on. A sharp Fuck Off by text if required.

Funngames1 · 10/09/2023 22:00

BMW6 · 10/09/2023 21:50

No, I don't want the responsibility and commitment of having a dog. That's why I don't have a dog.

Honestly your friend is being incredibly presumptuous even asking you! Who the fuck does that?

Get angry OP, if she keeps on. A sharp Fuck Off by text if required.

You sound nice :/

TeenLifeMum · 10/09/2023 22:02

I occasionally ask friends to have ddog. I assume that if they don’t want to they’ll say no.

shieldmaiden7 · 10/09/2023 22:03

Id worry if she sees you're ok doing it once she's ask more often so just be honest and say you can't.

squeaker50 · 10/09/2023 22:04

I'm not sure what to say tbh

WhamBamThankU · 10/09/2023 22:09

Just say you can't commit to regular times or days so it's not going to work for you right now.

CornedBeef451 · 10/09/2023 22:16

God no, no way. Just say no, you don't want to!

You don't need an excuse not to look after her dog, you can just say no. If she doesn't accept that then she's in the wrong.

It might be awkward but better that than have an unwanted dog in your house!

Or...get a kitten. Then you'll have an excuse and a kitten.

Original poster
Haircut100900 · 11/09/2023 00:53

Its not a one-off, it's an ask to have it regularly, going forward

OP posts:
neilyoungismyhero · 11/09/2023 00:57

I would say you're sorry but you really don't want to take on that sort of commitment.
Give her a list as PPs have said.

Dotcheck · 11/09/2023 00:58

Has her situation changed?
Either way just say you really can’t commit.

OrderOfTheKookaburra · 11/09/2023 01:02

Regularly going forward? No chance!

"That would have to be a no! The reason I don't have a dog is because I don't want to look after one."

ell87 · 11/09/2023 01:06

Haircut100900 · 11/09/2023 00:53

Its not a one-off, it's an ask to have it regularly, going forward

Then you say, I'm really sorry .... but I don't think I'm the best person to look after .... , I think he'd be better going with someone who has lots of time on their hands to give him all the attention he needs.

Webmeister999 · 11/09/2023 01:11

I agree with the posters upthread. If its a one off and she is desperate I would do it, but make it quite clear that it was a one off and that there would be no repeats. If she is asking for a regular committment I would explain exactly as you have here. That you dont want the responsibility and it would restrict you too much.

Pets are a commitment and people should not purchase them unless they are willing to look after the animal long term.

I once had a CF work colleague suggest I was selfish for not having a pet because it would "give me something to think about other than myself." She got a snippy reply about the cruelty and irresponsibility of leaving some poor creature alone for 8 hours a day while I was at work,

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