Does anyone enjoy having teenagers? Prefer it to having little kids?

[Fishandchipsatthebeach]

All I hear is negativity and how it gets harder once they are teens.

I’m a mum to a 5 year old.

Does anyone actually prefer having teens to little kids?!

But the absolute pride in them when they navigate it all, tell you everything they've done like they personally discovered the world, and bring you back a fridge magnet

Or you get a call from Australia “because I just wanted to hear your voice”.

Don't take this to heart, most people don't assume difficult teen = bad parent.
Being the parent to a difficult teen is a challenge like no other stage of parenting. You sound like you are doing you best - and this stage, like any, will pass (at least I hope it does for me as well!)

My teen DD is “easier” now she’s a teen (though not really, she just requires a lot less active hovering about kind of parenting). She’s growing into an amazing person and frequently makes me feel incredibly proud of her and very lucky to be her mum.

However DS is still wee, he requires constant active parenting right now but he also frequently makes me feel incredibly proud and lucky.

I think how you find parenting when your children are young varies drastically depending on your child themselves. But the teenage years as far as I’ve experienced them are even better than the younger years.

Overall they are easier day to day - ie they can feed themselves, be left alone and do all the basic care stuff. They are still quite intense but in a new way. They need a lot of mental load still ie exams and jobs and if you are rural they need a lot more ferrying about to friends and jobs. They are also quite expensive compared to earlier years for food, adult size clothing, driving lessons, bus fares - the termly bus pass is £320 to college.

I found the moody phase to be about 13-15yo. After this they tend to be more cooperative again.

Overall I haven't had a problem with the teen and young adult phase and as always you just naturally grow into the stage your children have reached. I work with young children but feel I couldn't deal with young ones of my own now as takes up so much time and energy. I do like the idea of grandchildren though.

My oldest was really difficult as a toddler. I often put him to bed then just cried about how awful each day was
He is now 15 and OMG it's sooo easy now. He is funny, high achiever in school basically apart from a bit of moaning does as he is told.
He does eat a lot though and school shoes coast a fortune. But no more tantrums in supermarkets.
He may still become an awful teen but so far it has been ok.

God I love it!!!! They are proper people that have informed (well…sometimes) opinions and can hold a conversation with you. They make me look at the world differently, they keep me young, they challenge me, they keep me on my toes mentally rather than physically.

I think that is the big difference really - it’s mental rather than physical parenting.

Nothing better than them having friends over as well - really love that. 🥰

No.

I think those that enjoy it must have bigger houses. Plenty of money and very calm easy teens.

Sex life goes completely out the window when you have teens around. Those nice cosy nights on the sofa with your husband is over. Constant taxiing so weekend evenings are often ruined.
They have high opinions, so you can't tell a white lie, or say your opinion without them
Disagreeing with you or going on about theirs.
Christmas is more boring as it's all the stuff you'd want but not for you.
The only thing that's easier are holidays abroad because they want to do the same things as you generally like sit by the pool and have cocktails, or walk by the beach, restaurants etc.

I loved mine being 5. In bed by 8pm, happy with a trip to the park to feed the ducks.
They snooped ok our conversations or told us what to do.
Enjoy it. Hopefully your child will be less hassle then mine 🤣

@Coffeeandtv83

Thank you for this thread and the responses. I have a 5 and 7 year old. I found the toddler years really tough and found that people were falling over themselves to say ‘you think that’s hard, wait til they’re teens!’ Pretty disheartening! While I’ve no doubt the teen years will bring lots of challenges, this thread is reassuring

Exactly!

I remember wishing my DS would hug me more when he was 13-14 as he hugged me lots when he was younger. Then he got Guillain Barre syndrome and was paralysed, in acute pain for months and had to learn to walk again. He wanted lots of hugs. It was fucking awful.

I was glad when he didn’t want hugs any more as he made a full recovery. I get them again now he’s a bit older 🙂

Emotionally it can be hard to let them go but it’s so rewarding and fulfilling to see what wonderful people they turn into.

Obviously love my teens to death but it's been hard and relentless for me. Three teens at different stages, live fairly rurally so I'm the regular taxi for part times jobs and social things. Two of them have had mental health struggles. And I'm trying to work part time but part time GP is more than full time hours 😭.

The teen years have emotionally and physically drained me up to now. Possibly in part due to being a single parent and having an elderly parent who also needs support.

I think if you have time, good transport links and are not a single parent then the teen years are more manageable.

It's like being in a student house, me and three teens. Grungy, messy and dirty pots EVERYWHERE.

I've enjoyed all ages! Mine are DS15 and DD18. Dd is off to university a week on Saturday and it will be really weird without her, especially for ds, as they are best buddies. They have been very little trouble all the way through really! As teens they are acerbic and funny and good company.

Mine are pretty easy and we do have lovely times shopping / eating out / binge watching programs. They are not rude or horrible to us like some friends teens are and can be good company.

But having to constantly bang on about wet towels and mess is disheartening. Also the constant worry of them. Dh and I are secretly fantasising when it’s just us again….

Don't get me wrong, I adored him as a baby/toddler, because he's always been a ray of sunshine and smiles, but I am genuinely really enjoying 15yo DS1's teen years.

We've always been extremely lucky with him as I said, he's been such an easy child in general, but he's particularly brilliant to be around these days. He's funny, happy, kind, heplful, thoughtful and very insightful. He's incredibly tolerant and understanding of those with additional needs (little brother has ASD) and always looks out for them. He works hard enough at school, but has plenty of fun too and a wide circle of friends from both school and his hobby. His hobby includes a huge amount of volunteering which he genuinely enjoys. He's just a great lad. No interest in vaping/drugs etc and even girls are a recent discovery.

Don't worry, his older brother is/was an absolute demon and had to go and live with his father

So far teens all the way! Long may it last.

I’m really enjoying the teen stage. I love watching their sense of humour and moral compass develop. For me it’s been the most rewarding period of parenting to date.

@EarthlyNightshade thank you for this, it was really kind of you to write such a kind response.

Much prefer teenagers. I’ve never had any issues with any of my four.

Another one here who - much to my surprise - has found parenting teens easier and more fun than parenting littles.

I loved/love teens
It was so so so much easier than any stage pre 12...
My DDS and dsds are lovely teens, young adults...great company, caring, funny, and seem to enjoy hanging out with us.

My two both have SEN

The teen years have nearly killed me.

Toddler minds, emotions and frustrations in adult sized bodies. Chuck in their lack of friends, and basically no support all round.

Nah.

The ignorance of having a quirky 3 year old was bliss compared to the hell to come.

I'm jealous of many of you.

Yes mine are delightful now- were infinitely harder work when young.
If you are respectful to them and treat them with tolerance you get back out what you put in ie respectful tolerant teens....

Mine are mid 20s now.
I absolutely loved having teenagers. I loved their company, they are funny, interesting and just a joy.
Far easier than under 5s. Even feeding them was easier as all the faddiness went and they were adventurous in trying anything and everything. Hard to fill up though.

I looked after my two year old niece last weekend. I just love her to bits but I was shattered! I have no idea looking back how I ever coped with the baby/toddler years.

I found toddlers/young children much harder work. The lack of sleep, the constant supervision, soft play hell, playgrounds, the school run. Hated much of it.

Feel like I have my life back a bit more now. DS 14 and DS13 have their grumpy moments and often hide on their rooms for hours. But they are great company when they do want to hang out. They are funny and just lovely boys.

I have had to read many teenage parenting books about choosing battles and what to focus on and what to let go..