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Can't cope with next door neighbour

131 replies

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 17:33

Hello,

I don't know what to do or who to turn to. My next door neighbour is unbearably loud and annoying. We share a garden with her (no boundaries) and we also share a walkway between both of our houses which goes to our front door and her front door. Our living room window also opens onto the walkway we share.

We also share a garden with her and she has positioned her table and chairs very close to our kitchen window. She does not work and is in the garden all day long. She is constantly going in and out of her house and into the garden. She will go into her house but then will come back out into the garden after a few minutes in her house. She is in and out constantly.

My boyfriend works from home for 5 days week, but his office window is overlooking the garden (where she sits). She sits out in the garden and is very very noisy. She is constantly talking, shouting, screaming, laughing, making funny noises, you name it. She shouts across the garden to anybody that walks into the garden or that is sitting there and I mean delivery people, postmen, workmen etc. She will shout things at everybody and try to carry on a conversation with them for as long as she can. Also, she will sit on her phone and videochat with the phone on speaker for an hour or two every morning. Every morning when I come down into the kitchen, the first thing I will hear is her on her speakerphone call. She talks very loudly all of the time.

I hear her first thing in the morning and last thing at night (either in our shared walkway or in the garden).

She has metal chairs placed in front of her front door and has to move them every-time she goes in or out of the door. You can hear the metal chairs screeching as they are dragged across the floor every-time she goes out or comes back. It is an unpleasant noise.

She also drops bags down from her first floor window, so you will hear thuds throughout the day. They are bags of rubbish, bags of clothes I believe.

I don't know what to do, my boyfriend is becoming increasingly frustrated and we are both at our witts end with her.

It feels like she is living inside the house with us. There is no sense of privacy, peace or calm at all. I'm starting to develop headaches from the constant noise and my boyfriend is completely desperate to move.

Right now, she's sitting in the garden and has been talking/shouting/screeching with another couple for the last two hours. There will be no sense of peace or quiet all night, as she will try to find somebody else to talk to/talk to herself/go on the phone when the other couple have left. I'm sitting at the furthest end of the house now from the garden and I can still hear her talking/shouting its like she is in the house with me.

I got so frustrated by her last night as she was talking/laughing outside our kitchen window for hours that I shouted "shuttup" through our kitchen window to her. I'm not proud of myself as I am mild-mannered and tolerant person. I had gotten a headache as she had been in the garden all day and making noise. She heard me and she shouted back to me "No you shuttup". I hadn't even said anything before that. After that, she didn't actually get any quieter or anything.

She doesn't go on holiday, doesn't work and is in the garden all day long. We can hear her from every window in the house.

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 20:13

We have put a table and chairs right up to hers actually so that she cant move hers any nearer our window. Ill post pics tomorrow. :)

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blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 20:18

I know that some of the other neighbours don't like her and find her too much and say how she has changed the place and how it used to be such a nice place to live. There's 2 other houses that dont speak and wont have anything to do with her. For example, they don't even say "hello" when passing in the garden or greet each other or anything of the sort.

The other house she was socialising with in the garden this evening and the other two ive seen them ocasionally talking to her.

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 20:25

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 20:18

I know that some of the other neighbours don't like her and find her too much and say how she has changed the place and how it used to be such a nice place to live. There's 2 other houses that dont speak and wont have anything to do with her. For example, they don't even say "hello" when passing in the garden or greet each other or anything of the sort.

The other house she was socialising with in the garden this evening and the other two ive seen them ocasionally talking to her.

.. But i dont think its willingly or on their terms.

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HazelDean · 05/09/2023 23:33

Sounds like she is lonely and has some mental health issues...

HTSI · 05/09/2023 23:47

A bit of dark humour here but start making her cups of tea and sandwiches just like that lad did in The Sixth Commandment.

MeinKraft · 05/09/2023 23:51

You should get a sprinkler system in your garden. Install it very close to her table.

MrsCarson · 06/09/2023 07:49

Every night move her table a few inches towards her house. See how long it takes for her to notice.

EvilElsa · 06/09/2023 08:55

Honestly I'd just start looking at other rental properties. She won't change and is unlikely to be overly bothered by you paying music etc if she is noisy herself. "revenge" plots are just going to escalate issues and make living next door even more unpleasant. Tell the rental agent why and find somewhere else.

CrackedChina · 06/09/2023 09:40

If you've been playing loud music to cover her talking, then your other neighbours probably feel you are more of a nuisance than she is. Moving is the solution.

blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 09:42

No, we barely have.

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blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 09:47

It's 9:42am now, she's been sitting on the table in the garden with her husband since 9;00am. Going back and forth between the house, talking, shouting. She's also started playing some prayer type music from the table in the garden on a speaker.

I've also heard her shouting across the garden to say "good morning" to another neighbour at 8:30am. At this time, she also had loud music playing from inside her house.

She's also dragging/shuffling her feet everywhere she walks in the garden and between our two houses, so you hear that noise too.

When I woke up to go to the bathroom to clean my teeth, I could already see her in the garden.

Its just relentless. Its either music or her shouting. It feels like there is no escape.

It just feels quite suffocating. I need to get out today, I know it doesn't help been stuck at home. Not sure about my boyfriend, he's stuck working from home in his office overlooking where she's sitting and I just feel so bad for him.

OP posts:
Elmerchecks · 06/09/2023 10:07

MeinKraft · 05/09/2023 23:51

You should get a sprinkler system in your garden. Install it very close to her table.

This

blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 10:32

Yes, that is a very good point actually. I think she must have something like this as her voice is always so much louder compared to others.

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Goldenbear · 06/09/2023 11:25

I do understand as have a neighbour that seemed to live in and outside his garage, had a seat on the driveway. He also enjoyed sunbathing in only his pants on the roof- I would come back from work park on the drive and he would surprise me as hadn't seen him on the garage roof. He once kept me talking for 1.5hrs, in the end my DS who was 15 at the time rescued me as he was well known in our household for such time consuming conversations. We live on a road where a station is and commuters regularly walk past who he would regularly stop when sitting on his drive and chat to, same with delivery drivers. Prior to COVID we didn't work at home but then we were forced to and that was a realisation as to the 6 hr shift of talking on his drive he could do. It only stopped last autumn as he wasn't very well and when to stay with a friend. He hasn't been around for a long time now.

Goldenbear · 06/09/2023 11:29

Our neighbour did have a malicious side though and definitely enjoyed winding people up. He'd have a loud, so will unacceptable opinion about everything, was a massive sexist. I was told by another neighbour that stopped getting milk and bread from him as he complained all the time about the expense, that he had spotted my car on the road without a permit and got me a ticket. I have a drive so I was only on the road for 30 minutes as had forgotten my asthma inhaler on my way to work had an asthma attack and had to drive back. Within that time he had called the hot line.

ReadingSoManyThreads · 06/09/2023 15:59

As well as looking for elsewhere to live @blueeyes92 , I would contact Environmental Health about this. As much as many people are saying she's doing nothing wrong, that isn't the case here, she's being anti-social and the council can take action against this. But you need to not retaliate with loud music etc., otherwise, you'll destroy the case against her.

blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 16:10

I submitted a complaint to the council's website on Monday. I'm just waiting for somebody to get back to me. I've also started keeping a noise diary.

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blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 16:15

Yes, she may not be doing anything wrong in the eyes of the law, but she is causing extreme disturbance and aggravation to me and my boyfriend.
When I wake up each day, I have to hope and pray that she goes out at some point in the day.

Its always shortlived though, she never goes on holiday, goes away anywhere so we never get a proper break from her noise and disturbance.

We can't even relax or feel calm in our own home, she's taken that away from us and it is very disgusting.

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 16:17

I cant stand her and its horrible to have to see somebody you cant stand constantly.

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GR8GAL · 06/09/2023 16:33

At no point did you mention approaching her about any of your many grievances other than shouting "shut up". Perhaps the most obvious answer is the right one, ask her politely to keep the noise down/move her table and chairs to another part of the garden etc. explain that you're working from home and the noise is excessive during business hours. The worst she can say is no, but nothing is going to change if she doesn't even know she's doing anything wrong.

HazelDean · 06/09/2023 17:14

This is good advice. If you don't think you can have a reasonable conversation, write her a letter and keep a copy for your records for your noise complaint. I still think you need to start looking for somewhere else to live though, these situations rarely get significantly better.

blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 18:03

Yes, I've spent quite a bit of time looking the past 2 days. It's exhausting, nothing compares to the house we have. We need a garage too, so it rules out a lot of properties. We will have to move somewhere smaller and more expensive.

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 18:28

I'm just walking back home now guys after a day out, I bet Im going to bump into the neighbour in the garden and the boyfriend in a bad mood.

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 18:45

Here we go guys, I finally managed to get a picture! The picnic bench and other black table are hers

Can't cope with next door neighbour
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blueeyes92 · 06/09/2023 18:50

Our house is the second from the right hers is the third from the right.

Can't cope with next door neighbour
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