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Can't cope with next door neighbour

131 replies

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 17:33

Hello,

I don't know what to do or who to turn to. My next door neighbour is unbearably loud and annoying. We share a garden with her (no boundaries) and we also share a walkway between both of our houses which goes to our front door and her front door. Our living room window also opens onto the walkway we share.

We also share a garden with her and she has positioned her table and chairs very close to our kitchen window. She does not work and is in the garden all day long. She is constantly going in and out of her house and into the garden. She will go into her house but then will come back out into the garden after a few minutes in her house. She is in and out constantly.

My boyfriend works from home for 5 days week, but his office window is overlooking the garden (where she sits). She sits out in the garden and is very very noisy. She is constantly talking, shouting, screaming, laughing, making funny noises, you name it. She shouts across the garden to anybody that walks into the garden or that is sitting there and I mean delivery people, postmen, workmen etc. She will shout things at everybody and try to carry on a conversation with them for as long as she can. Also, she will sit on her phone and videochat with the phone on speaker for an hour or two every morning. Every morning when I come down into the kitchen, the first thing I will hear is her on her speakerphone call. She talks very loudly all of the time.

I hear her first thing in the morning and last thing at night (either in our shared walkway or in the garden).

She has metal chairs placed in front of her front door and has to move them every-time she goes in or out of the door. You can hear the metal chairs screeching as they are dragged across the floor every-time she goes out or comes back. It is an unpleasant noise.

She also drops bags down from her first floor window, so you will hear thuds throughout the day. They are bags of rubbish, bags of clothes I believe.

I don't know what to do, my boyfriend is becoming increasingly frustrated and we are both at our witts end with her.

It feels like she is living inside the house with us. There is no sense of privacy, peace or calm at all. I'm starting to develop headaches from the constant noise and my boyfriend is completely desperate to move.

Right now, she's sitting in the garden and has been talking/shouting/screeching with another couple for the last two hours. There will be no sense of peace or quiet all night, as she will try to find somebody else to talk to/talk to herself/go on the phone when the other couple have left. I'm sitting at the furthest end of the house now from the garden and I can still hear her talking/shouting its like she is in the house with me.

I got so frustrated by her last night as she was talking/laughing outside our kitchen window for hours that I shouted "shuttup" through our kitchen window to her. I'm not proud of myself as I am mild-mannered and tolerant person. I had gotten a headache as she had been in the garden all day and making noise. She heard me and she shouted back to me "No you shuttup". I hadn't even said anything before that. After that, she didn't actually get any quieter or anything.

She doesn't go on holiday, doesn't work and is in the garden all day long. We can hear her from every window in the house.

OP posts:
Childhoodmemories · 05/09/2023 18:03

Then move them and swap them out for heavy pot plants/make a small pond from a large ceramic pot

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:03

I'm praying for a rainy day!

OP posts:
Mummmbles · 05/09/2023 18:05

I feel for you. I have loud neighbours too & share a garden. They have insufficient underlay with laminate flooring so sometimes it feels like my ceiling might come in Hmm. I've actually had sound proofing done and it's still terrible.
I think if I was renting I would move. Honestly is anything worth more than your peace?
The otter thing you can do is report her to your landlord or to hers (if she's also renting). Good luck xx

msbevvy · 05/09/2023 18:12

You have my greatest sympathies op. I am currently listening to a neighbour conducting a loud phone call outside. It is very irritating and I always make sure that I don't disturb others by going inside to make calls. When he stops it will be back to just the sound of the birds and the sea.

If it went on all day it would drive me mad but whilst It is very thoughtless behaviour it is not in the same category as loud music which is much easier to complain about.

Sussurations · 05/09/2023 18:13

Although her behaviour sounds completely unreasonable, if she won’t/can’t (and it sounds like she can’t on some level) change, I think moving is your best option.

I agree with pp that in these circumstances it’s not a nice house to live in. Maybe try and look at it that way otherwise you’ll become more frustrated, anxious & bitter. Good luck.

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:15

Yes, its affecting both of us, me and my boyfriend.

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 05/09/2023 18:15

Unfortunately as irritating as it is (I have also had a neighbour like this), she’s using her own house and grounds, within reasonable hours. There’s nothing you can do to stop her speaking to people in her own garden or where she sits etc. If I was you I’d be looking to move, she likely knows there’s nothing you can do especially if she owns her house, so any complaints from you will likely make her behave worse just to spite you

frozendaisy · 05/09/2023 18:17

Have you tried having loud sex?

Nothing like other people enjoying some hanky panky eh! 😙

JustFrustrated · 05/09/2023 18:19

Whilst she does sound irritating, you also sound unreasonable.

Why should she rearrange her set up , in shared space because your bf WFH?

ReadingSoManyThreads · 05/09/2023 18:19

The only saving grace in this is that you rent, so you don't have to worry about selling.

I would personally tell your Landlord about it, this will give him/her the opportunity to try to resolve it, but I would also just move. I know it's difficult finding rental properties at the moment, but for the sake of your sanity, just move to a not as nice house as a temporary solution. Then when you have peace (hopefully!), you can focus on looking for a better rental, or perhaps you'll be in a position to buy by then, if that is in your plans.

There is no reasoning with people like her though.

DisforDarkChocolate · 05/09/2023 18:20

I would just move, a nice house isn't a nice house when there is no peace.

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:20

There isn't, that's the truly sad thing. Her behaviour will never change and she will always be here.

OP posts:
FloweryName · 05/09/2023 18:22

Mummmbles · 05/09/2023 18:05

I feel for you. I have loud neighbours too & share a garden. They have insufficient underlay with laminate flooring so sometimes it feels like my ceiling might come in Hmm. I've actually had sound proofing done and it's still terrible.
I think if I was renting I would move. Honestly is anything worth more than your peace?
The otter thing you can do is report her to your landlord or to hers (if she's also renting). Good luck xx

Report her for what though? For using her own garden and having a loud voice? If my tenant’s neighbour contacted me to complain that my tenant talked too loud on the phone and tried to make too many conversations I’d politely tell them to fuck off and stop wasting my time.

If she’s trying to make conversation with the postman she might just be a bit lonely.

Irritating as she may be, she’s doing nothing wrong, nothing unreasonable and definitely nothing she should change because someone else wants to work from home.

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:22

I know, it's just that we've got so much space and storage here. I know we won't find the same amount of space again. We've got space for a rowing machine, dining room table with 6 seats. I love the house to pieces! :(

OP posts:
Gitfeatures · 05/09/2023 18:23

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:20

There isn't, that's the truly sad thing. Her behaviour will never change and she will always be here.

Exactly, so that's your starting point. She's not changing. You either move elsewhere or get used to wearing noise cancelling headphones every time it is anything other than baltic outside.

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:25

I know she isn't doing anything wrong. I can't explain it and it may be hard for you to understand but its the frequency of it. It's on a constant daily basis, like right now she's been in the garden since 4pm and I've gotten a headache from hearing her even though I'm sitting in my living room. I know that I will have to hear her until I go to bed. Its all day long. Its like having somebody living outside your kitchen window. Somebody that is very very loud, likes shouting, screeching, making funny noises, fake laughing.

I wake up and all I can think and wonder about is if and when the neighbour is going to go out today to get some peace and respite.

I don't think its fair that she's disturbing people in a shared garden like this.

OP posts:
Bumblebees83 · 05/09/2023 18:26

I know how you feel. Me and my partner are having to move from our home of 5 years due to inconsiderate neighbours. Peace of mind is important so moving would be best.

MsRosley · 05/09/2023 18:27

You're gonna have to out-manoeuvre her by doing something she finds unbearable, so that you have some leverage in getting her to take your needs into account. I've no idea what, but there will always be something. Just make sure it is legal, as well as very, very annoying.

Viviennemary · 05/09/2023 18:28

In and out fine. Up to her. Screaming shouting not on. But I don't think you can expect people to consider a neighbour WFH. It's a residential building not a place of work.

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:29

Well i've thought about playing a constant high pitched alarm sound or something like that from our kitchen window when she's talking on the phone so that its always in the background of her phone calls and noticeable to the person she's got on speakerphone haha!

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:30

Yeah, you are right i suppose, i haven't looked at it from this angle as I'm worried about my boyfriend.

OP posts:
Dashel · 05/09/2023 18:32

Have you thought about playing opera? Not too loud or anything anti social-able but not everyone appreciates it and some public bodies use it as a deterrent to stop loitering.

I think you do need to look at moving as a proper solution though.

blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:33

I haven't tried noise cancelling headphone's, that would be a bit off since I'm living with my boyfriend. I just don't think there's anything we can do, the only solution is to move.

We've been looking for somewhere to buy for a while but nothing seems right or good enough.

OP posts:
blueeyes92 · 05/09/2023 18:33

No that is a good idea and could work!

OP posts:
MumOfOneAwesomeHuman · 05/09/2023 18:34

I feel your pain OP as we once had a neighbour who shared our garden in a rental after years of us having sole use. He was annoying snd intrusive but not a noise nuisance.

Why don't you gather evidence? Recordings, video footage and a log of the noise nuisance and report it. Also send your landlord the recordings or ask them to come and observe so they understand what you're living with. Maybe they can help. Try and find out if she has a landlord you could complain to. Surely if the garden's shared it's likely the same landlord as yours?

I hope you can somehow get done peace and please upload a pic of her table and chairs so we can get a sense of her proximity.

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