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Original poster

Shit at everything.

113 replies

Losttrack · 04/09/2023 10:51

Firstly I will point out that I have learning difficulties. Did not go to a main stream school. So I do not have a standard education.

You know that saying everyone is good at something. Weather is academic, hands on stuff, gardening, art . Or what ever. I'm no good at fuck all . I have never achieved anything in my life.

OP posts:
CarmenBurrito · 04/09/2023 10:52

What would you like to do OP? What do you enjoy? Then look into courses and learning support as an adult to help you.

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 11:02

CarmenBurrito · 04/09/2023 10:52

What would you like to do OP? What do you enjoy? Then look into courses and learning support as an adult to help you.

It's not really that simple. The support is not like that . You just get out in a class type thing fir adults with lower ability. Judy get the basics to get you by in life.

(Many) years ago I did get a depoloma in counselling. They allowed for my learning difficulties etc. I was not able to continue to level 4. But even if I could have was the point . I don't have enough educated words or understanding. Imagine your having a really hard time in life . I'm your counsellor and every other sentence I'm saying what does that mean . Because I don't know the meaning of many words.

OP posts:
QforCucumber · 04/09/2023 11:07

Do yo have a job OP? My aunt struggled in school, has no qualifications as she couldn't manage (but back then was just seen as being 'thick') Didn't go to college etc, but recently - at 57 - she got a job working twilight shifts in a local supermarket and she's really found her way, she has friends, they go out for meals and drinks together - people make allowances more than ever now for these kind of struggles and it's doing her wonders to have support there which was never around before

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General education
LIZS · 04/09/2023 11:11

What is it you want support with? Do you get pip? A fe college will have lsa who can help with study skills, in and out of the classroom.

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 11:14

QforCucumber · 04/09/2023 11:07

Do yo have a job OP? My aunt struggled in school, has no qualifications as she couldn't manage (but back then was just seen as being 'thick') Didn't go to college etc, but recently - at 57 - she got a job working twilight shifts in a local supermarket and she's really found her way, she has friends, they go out for meals and drinks together - people make allowances more than ever now for these kind of struggles and it's doing her wonders to have support there which was never around before

I don't work. I have children with disabilities. I did work for a short while. It was In a school kitchen. I hated it. I found it so hard being around people, talking to people. If anyone approached me to talk I would shit myself.

OP posts:
Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 11:17

LIZS · 04/09/2023 11:11

What is it you want support with? Do you get pip? A fe college will have lsa who can help with study skills, in and out of the classroom.

I don't get pip. I would not qualify. As I can cope with everyday life generally. I don't know what I want. I don't understand the other things in your post 😔

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/09/2023 11:19

If you wanted to study again at a further education college, to get basic qualifications, there would be learning support available. Do you have a social worker who could refer you for advice? Do you claim esa?

GLORIAGloriarse · 04/09/2023 11:24

Are you asking because you're wanting to get into work, OP? Or is it more about developing hobbies, doing some volunteering and getting more involved in the community?

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 11:30

LIZS · 04/09/2023 11:19

If you wanted to study again at a further education college, to get basic qualifications, there would be learning support available. Do you have a social worker who could refer you for advice? Do you claim esa?

I don't claim esa.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 04/09/2023 11:31

There are lots of people working with me in the NHS with learning difficulties who have jobs, cleaning or whatever. That's an great job because you don't have to talk to anyone.
I think the most important thing in life is to enjoy yourself as much as possible, not worry about the things you can't do.
Hobbies, days out, friends, my friend is autistic and doesn't say much but we have some great days out together swimming, walking, wood carving.
What sort of thing do you want to do?

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 11:48

Gettingbysomehow · 04/09/2023 11:31

There are lots of people working with me in the NHS with learning difficulties who have jobs, cleaning or whatever. That's an great job because you don't have to talk to anyone.
I think the most important thing in life is to enjoy yourself as much as possible, not worry about the things you can't do.
Hobbies, days out, friends, my friend is autistic and doesn't say much but we have some great days out together swimming, walking, wood carving.
What sort of thing do you want to do?

I don't even know. I don't know why I made the thread to be honest.

OP posts:
Gettingbysomehow · 04/09/2023 12:12

Ok how about trying something new once a month.
That's not too difficult.
A long walk.
Swimming.
Anything.
You'll find something you like doing if you do just that one thing.
i know its frustrating for you but trust me we are all the same.
I'd like to go hiking and learn how to cook properly but I'm too busy working and make excuses all the time.
The thing is nobody can fix your life for you - you have to do it.

VivaciousRadish · 04/09/2023 12:12

Are you ok? Do you have friends you can talk to?

I think you made the thread because you’re down, and frustrated. You might have struggled at school but you’re a bright woman - you did your counselling course.

Have you thought about elderly care work? You’re a mum, so probably have all the skills you need, and you’d build up some confidence with people

I bet there are things you’ll be good at, you just haven’t found them yet. Do you like craft? No one’s good to start with, it all takes practise.

Do you have a garden? I saw a video of a woman growing potatoes in a bucket. She just put a potato in a bucket of dirt, and it grew a great big pile of potatoes! I want to have a try!

Inmybirthdaysuit · 04/09/2023 12:21

I think too much value is put on work and what people contribute that way. Are you a nice person? A good friend? A good mum? Do you keep a nice home for your family? Are you a good listener? All of those things are just as valuable as having a job and being 'good' at something. And many people don't figure out where their passion lies until later in life, things must be pretty busy for you looking after you children? That often doesn't leave a lot of brain space for excelling in other things. Be nice to yourself, try new things without fear where you can and you will find your way.

Malteasersarered · 04/09/2023 12:24

I don't think everybody has to be good at stuff but I do think everybody needs to find things that make them happy or that they enjoy. Maybe stop worrying about what you're good at and make a list of things you want to do because you enjoy them. Tick them off and see which things you liked the most.

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 12:47

Malteasersarered · 04/09/2023 12:24

I don't think everybody has to be good at stuff but I do think everybody needs to find things that make them happy or that they enjoy. Maybe stop worrying about what you're good at and make a list of things you want to do because you enjoy them. Tick them off and see which things you liked the most.

It's hard to enjoy things if your no good at them. There's no achievement

OP posts:
Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 12:51

VivaciousRadish · 04/09/2023 12:12

Are you ok? Do you have friends you can talk to?

I think you made the thread because you’re down, and frustrated. You might have struggled at school but you’re a bright woman - you did your counselling course.

Have you thought about elderly care work? You’re a mum, so probably have all the skills you need, and you’d build up some confidence with people

I bet there are things you’ll be good at, you just haven’t found them yet. Do you like craft? No one’s good to start with, it all takes practise.

Do you have a garden? I saw a video of a woman growing potatoes in a bucket. She just put a potato in a bucket of dirt, and it grew a great big pile of potatoes! I want to have a try!

I don't have friends to talk to. Your probably right. I'm probably just a bit fed up .

OP posts:
Boshi · 04/09/2023 13:02

You can be good at everything and still achieve nothing - I was above average - excelling at everything at school and uni but I’ve achieved nothing and my life is in tatters thanks to bad choices I made. Just showing you the other side.

And on the bright side it’s never too late to change things around. Best way to be happy in these circumstances (imo) is to stop trying to achieve what the world thinks is an achievement and just work on yourself and your character.

Also reach out to people, having lots of different people in your life can make good luck/create opportunities

Gymmum82 · 04/09/2023 13:07

I wouldn’t say I’m good at anything particularly but I have things I enjoy, I also work.
Do you want to work? Cleaning is a pretty good option and you can make a very good living. Good cleaners are hard to come by.
Or if you’re not able to work find a hobby you enjoy. You don’t have to be good at it. Just enjoy it

Malteasersarered · 04/09/2023 15:53

Losttrack · 04/09/2023 12:47

It's hard to enjoy things if your no good at them. There's no achievement

Show quote history

Not everything is about achievement though is it. You can watch a great film, enjoy it but there's no achievement. Doesn't mean it doesn't help lift your mood though. You're reading too much into everything.

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 16:07

Malteasersarered · 04/09/2023 15:53

Not everything is about achievement though is it. You can watch a great film, enjoy it but there's no achievement. Doesn't mean it doesn't help lift your mood though. You're reading too much into everything.

Show quote history

I don't think I am because its how I feel. Doing something then achieving nothing is not right for me I want to do something and feel I did that and feel pleased. Watching a film and enjoying it is completely different.

OP posts:
mumonthehill · 04/09/2023 16:19

But the achievement is in the doing. I swim, not very good at it but I enjoy it and it is an achievement every time i go. I think you need to find things you enjoy doing that is enough. You do not have to be the best at it.

LIZS · 04/09/2023 16:20

Perhaps you are setting your goals too high. Everyone has to learn a skill, job or hobby in the beginning. Some get it first time, others take a while, some never get beyond the basics. You don't have to compare yourself with others. Some will be in similar circumstances to you and lack confidence. Pick something you might enjoy trying and if you find you are improving that is a bonus.

Taking walking as an example. You find a short circular route, at a local park maybe, as you do it more frequently it becomes familiar you notice more around you and you get quicker and fitter. Then at some point you might extend it or find a slightly longer route, but you can just stay as you are. If your interest develops there may be local free walking groups aimed at particular groups and levels of fitness, to improve mental health for example, and might lead on to volunteering to litter pick as you go or cut back overgrowth . However it is equally fine to just stick to your walk around the park.

Enjoyingthesedays · 04/09/2023 17:10

I don't think it's really true that everyone is good at something. I can think of plenty of people myself included that are very average.

What can help your confidence is finding something that you enjoy or setting yourself a goal. It really doesn't need to be anything extraordinary.

If you can't swim and you learn to swim a length then you have achieved something and can feel proud in my opinion.

Enjoyingthesedays · 04/09/2023 17:12

LIZS · 04/09/2023 16:20

Perhaps you are setting your goals too high. Everyone has to learn a skill, job or hobby in the beginning. Some get it first time, others take a while, some never get beyond the basics. You don't have to compare yourself with others. Some will be in similar circumstances to you and lack confidence. Pick something you might enjoy trying and if you find you are improving that is a bonus.

Taking walking as an example. You find a short circular route, at a local park maybe, as you do it more frequently it becomes familiar you notice more around you and you get quicker and fitter. Then at some point you might extend it or find a slightly longer route, but you can just stay as you are. If your interest develops there may be local free walking groups aimed at particular groups and levels of fitness, to improve mental health for example, and might lead on to volunteering to litter pick as you go or cut back overgrowth . However it is equally fine to just stick to your walk around the park.

Exactly. I walk for a hobby. For me it's an achievement, I've got off the sofa gone outdoors, got my steps in.

I've discovered new places, wildlife, got fitter and faster.