Shit at everything.

[Losttrack]

Firstly I will point out that I have learning difficulties. Did not go to a main stream school. So I do not have a standard education.

You know that saying everyone is good at something. Weather is academic, hands on stuff, gardening, art . Or what ever. I'm no good at fuck all . I have never achieved anything in my life.

Well, your written English is alright for a start!

I can really identify with what you are saying, there is nothing special or talented about me but I do know that I am good friend, I have been told often how kind and loving I am and that I always have time for people. Some of my friends are talented but the things that I like about them is their kindness and the fact that they have time for me. That is what really counts, the way we relate to others, not being a fantastic dancer, a great cook or all round wonder at everything we put our hand to. Being a decent caring human being is a great achievement

What do you love to do most as a hobby?

Could you do crosswords or suduko at home? On line there are things like the New York Times wordle type thing every day? Great way to test yourself and improve your vocabulary etc?

My phone is doing it for me. Also the words I use are basic words .

I don't have Any hobby i don't do anything because I'm shit at everything.

That would be hell on earh for me.

Howabout growing plants or vegetables?

OP, there are lots of people on this thread suggesting all kinds of things you could try, and for every single one you have an answer "I can't do it because..."

It isn't true that you can't do all of these things.

You are blocking them because you are anxious and scared of failing.

It sounds like you try things and give up quite easily when they are hard.

But if you want to feel like you've achieved something, it is going to hard. You still have to try.

That's what makes you feel like you've achieved something.

Growing plants from seeds or cuttings can be very satisfying. It’s simple to learn the basics and not expensive. Only takes a few minutes a day to look after them on a windowsill at home. They don’t all grow but when they do it’s like a mini miracle. When they’ve grown big enough you can give them away to family and neighbours or donate/sell them in aid of a good cause.

I get what your saying . I know people are putting ideas I'm and I'm grateful for that I really am. So I don't want people to think I'm throwing it on their faces. I'm sorry if I have made anyone feel that way I'm nlt meaning to .

In my op i did not explain well. I was just moaning really I did not expect many replies . Later on i did explain that things are hard at home for me to get away extra. But I probably didn't explain things very well. Plus I think things can get missed after the first op.

Anyway basically I don't want to do anything that involves others /groups as I said im no good with people and I feel stressed around people. But also I have my kids weather that's young adult vulnerable child, older teensge child. Or children in general plus the special needs on top in my face practically all day long. So I don't want to be around people . I know that sounds awful but its hiw I feel.

I can't do stuff outside of the home because I can't safely leave my kids at home. I can't bring someone in either as the services are not as available as people think they are. Plus it would cause massive upset anyway.
I can't take them with me as that defeats the object.

I just want to be able to do something where I can just do it as and when my house is quite /I'm not needed. But that i can also easy stop when I am needed.

I have lost my trail of thought because my dd was doing on at me about snacks 😅

How about something like photography on your smartphone. There will be tips online as to how to frame and take a good image then enhance it, and you could record, for example, the changing view from your property over the seasons . Do you have access to a garden or balcony?

I understand you feel stressed around people.

But you also want a sense of achievement.

What better way to get that, than to try and conquer your fear?

I believe you can do all of the things suggested above, OP, you are just feeling anxious about it.

If you want to be proud of yourself then you need to take some steps to conquer your anxiety and stop being so down on yourself. You can do these things. You just need to try and not give up when it is hard, but instead pick yourself up and try again.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but you will be so proud of yourself if you just try, even if you think you can't do it. Just have a go.

I get you I really do. Bit of want to feel chilled and relaxed. In some I enjoy. I don't want to conquer my fear at the moment. That's just another battle. And let's say I did want to do that. We are totally forgetting my kids needs and all the other stuff I have going on . That can't be dismissed its a massive issue

My friend who has learning difficulties enjoys crafting, colouring and lego. She buys little kits that are not too difficult and does them in her spare time. She displays them in her home when she has completed them.

The good thing about the little kits is she can do them when she has spare time. Things like foil art from the children's art section in places like Home Bargains. She makes some really nice stuff that she is proud of.

I think you have to accept that like most other people you aren't going to be good at things straight away. I draw and paint. I'm still not very good but I'm much better than when I started. The same goes for keeping houseplants. I could fill a graveyard with all of the plants I have killed, now my house is full of greenery. Pretty much everyone starts off most things being shit. It's practice and dedication that makes you improve. I picked up my pencil every night for months and just drew, often I threw it in the bin when I was done but I did it all over again the next night and next and I did get better.

Op nothing is easy to start with for most people. So many things are daunting at first and you have to practise a lot to get anywhere.
have you tried doing things like making soap or wax melts?
maybe some gardening or growing herbs or whatever inside?
singing?
hair styles or make up?

You say you have massive struggles, why did you have kids if you can’t support them in any way? If you have kids with SEN just getting them through is an achievement. People have been really kind to you suggesting lots of things but you don’t consider them an achievement, then follow with I want to achieve a more important thing knowing you don’t have the ability or by the sounds of it effort to put in. I really don’t know what you want from this, I think it may be a fictitious post as I don’t believe anyone could be so self centred - “I want to achieve something great, not your stupid suggestions even though I have no natural ability, not willing to make any sacrifices and don’t want to compromise.

Why did I have kids if I can't support them . What sort of comment is that ?

It must be very disheartening. But you write well enough, you are clearly a great parent, it's not all bad news.
But although some things are hard to pick up, all of the things you have mentioned are doable with enough practice and maybe someone to show you how.
For example, I found crochet very difficult to learn, and it took a lot of mistakes and frustration before I got the hang of it. There's a pattern to how the stitches work, and once you get that, it's easy. I learned in a small informal group, and everyone else there got the hang of it much quicker than I did. I kept on, getting advice from people, looked up videos online, found some written instructions, and used a mixture of all those things. It took weeks to learn it and to feel comfortable doing it.
What I am saying is don't let yourself give up too easily. You might not have had a great education, you say you have learning difficulties, that means it might take you longer to learn, not that you can't learn.

Your problem is made worse because it's hard for you to get out of the house. Can you pick one thing you'd like to learn, and get someone to come to yours and show you how? Could be a neighbour who maybe would like company but who knows how to crochet, or cook. Find online videos , keep trying.
How do you manage with active things, like running or yoga or netball?

you seem so unhappy with your lot in life and your level of education. If you are so unhappy why have kids? You brought new life into the world (I’m assuming with an expectation to provide for them, what’s changed and where is dad in all this? )

Sorry to hear about how you are feeling. You're doing a great job raising your children, putting their needs first, that's very commendable.

I'd second some ones else's comment about redecorating. I'm not particularly 'good' at anything, but after the kids went to bed, I set about painting for a couple of hours. I probably painted 3/4 nights a week and after a month or so I had the kitchen and sitting room painted. I put up tape so the lines were straight. It looked great, so fresh and I felt a great sense of achievement. A brush for the edges and a roller for the middle, it's something you get the hang of as you go and it's great to admire your work afterwards and think, I did that! And that you and your family will enjoy your hard work as you spend time in your home.

What are you trying to achieve with your questioning? Or is it merely to kick someone when they are down? You should be ashamed quite frankly.

I did used to draw many years ago. I used to know what pencils were needed for what etc. I wasn't great at it but I was alright. I haven't tried to draw in over 15 years . Its only pencil and paper so I can't really go wrong can I
And it's just something I could do on my own and I can just put it down.when I'm needed. Thank you for reminding me. I will definitely do that.

I definitely won't do anything with plants i could probably kill plastic ones. I did want to get an indoor plant for my living room. A large one though.. I have a single width tall window with a low window sill. So would like a tall plant there

Just ignore. I don't even care. Let the post stay there as a form of shaming the poster.