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Original poster

Shit at everything.

113 replies

Losttrack · 04/09/2023 10:51

Firstly I will point out that I have learning difficulties. Did not go to a main stream school. So I do not have a standard education.

You know that saying everyone is good at something. Weather is academic, hands on stuff, gardening, art . Or what ever. I'm no good at fuck all . I have never achieved anything in my life.

OP posts:
TotalOverhaul · 04/09/2023 17:18

Hi,

You know, if you have a learning difficulty, there are some things you can do well but it will take you far far longer than other people.

I have subnormal physical ability. In the lowest 1% of the population. I can't drive and never will be able to. My brain just can't process speed and movement fast enough to be safe, and is very slow inputting info from road signs etc.

I also can't catch a ball. My brain just can't tell my hand fast enough where it should be. By the time my hand has moved, the ball is on the ground. I used to get laughed at and mocked and told off. Horrible feelings of shame.

But i did learn how to dance by practising and practising and practising. And how to do aerobics and bootcamp and yoga. I just had to think really hard about where my arms and legs had to be and then speed up the process. It took me ten times (or more) longer than anyone else, but I got there.

You are a functioning adult raising children, not a human in a vegetative state, so there must be loads of things you've learned and are good enough at. No need to be perfect.

Is there something that you'd like to do and would be happy to practise doing again and again until you are really confident at it?

Suggest a couple of things on here and we could chat about how to get started.

YouJustDoYou · 04/09/2023 17:21

Hi op. Me too. I can earn nothing from what "I am good at" (loving animals...shading colour really well....I can crochet a bit...). All useless shit. I will never be a top earner. I will never amount to much. I would always be (and always was) poor, would it not be for my luck in husband's job. I just aim to help animals where I can. They don't judge me, they love me and I love them and if that's all I can do, then that's all I can do.

RachaelAnn · 04/09/2023 17:25

Hi OP
I think it's important to take the little joys from life. It's hard when you're feeling down but if you can get yourself into something, it will be hard at first to find the motivation but you'll get there.
Someone else suggested cleaning, it's such a great idea as cleaning can be very therapeutic and it's physical so it's going to keep you fit. It's also so rewarding at the end to see what you have a achieved. Not only that, you'll be getting paid! Woo!
Like I say, take the little wins and the joys. It will make you feel accomplished.
Good luck!

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General education
Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 17:39

YouJustDoYou · 04/09/2023 17:21

Hi op. Me too. I can earn nothing from what "I am good at" (loving animals...shading colour really well....I can crochet a bit...). All useless shit. I will never be a top earner. I will never amount to much. I would always be (and always was) poor, would it not be for my luck in husband's job. I just aim to help animals where I can. They don't judge me, they love me and I love them and if that's all I can do, then that's all I can do.

I did try crochet. But could not do it. I don't mean things where I can get a well paid job. I totally accept that I will ever only be in low paid type jobs. To be honest I'm not in the position to work so I'm bothered about that side of things for now. I would just like to be able to do something where I feel I have achieved something. The I did that feeling . Going for a walk does not cut that for me.

OP posts:
Enjoyingthesedays · 04/09/2023 17:42

What about baking op? Cooking from scratch?

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 17:44

RachaelAnn · 04/09/2023 17:25

Hi OP
I think it's important to take the little joys from life. It's hard when you're feeling down but if you can get yourself into something, it will be hard at first to find the motivation but you'll get there.
Someone else suggested cleaning, it's such a great idea as cleaning can be very therapeutic and it's physical so it's going to keep you fit. It's also so rewarding at the end to see what you have a achieved. Not only that, you'll be getting paid! Woo!
Like I say, take the little wins and the joys. It will make you feel accomplished.
Good luck!

Its not about work . I just want to a achieve for me. Something that I have done and I cam feel proud of.

OP posts:
Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 17:46

Enjoyingthesedays · 04/09/2023 17:42

What about baking op? Cooking from scratch?

That would be stressful.

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/09/2023 17:50

Could you enrol on a cooking course at college or community based courses(such as at a Children's Centre where they may run activities for parents with a creche) ? What are you interested in?

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 17:59

LIZS · 04/09/2023 17:50

Could you enrol on a cooking course at college or community based courses(such as at a Children's Centre where they may run activities for parents with a creche) ? What are you interested in?

I have to much going on at home. Kids/older kids with disabilities. I can't commit to something like that. Probably needs to be something I can do at home. As and when I can.

OP posts:
Gimjam · 04/09/2023 18:08

Is there something you love doing, are really interested in? Something that you can get excited about and just do to please yourself?

toadasoda · 04/09/2023 18:14

OP do you mind me asking how you manage running a home or raising children. That's difficult, there is a huge skill set involved so im guessing you have developed many new skills that may not have come easy, but you have them now. Most people find some aspects of it really difficult and have to work hard at it. Is there a particular thing that you think you do well? Maybe write it down or share it here, even if its just a small thing.

Malteasersarered · 04/09/2023 18:16

Losttrack · 04/09/2023 16:07

I don't think I am because its how I feel. Doing something then achieving nothing is not right for me I want to do something and feel I did that and feel pleased. Watching a film and enjoying it is completely different.

Show quote history

Then you're setting yourself up for a lifetime of over thinking and sadness but if you choose to do that then that's your choice.

ManchesterGirl2 · 04/09/2023 18:27

I hope you can find something to learn and enjoy.

Very few people can be "the best". Comparing ourselves with others just makes us feel bad, because there is always someone "better". But trying to improve can still be really fun, and give a sense of achievement.

What are you interested in? Maybe choose something you can learn at home, and find a good YouTube series to help teach you.

suggestionsplease1 · 04/09/2023 18:38

OP, there will be people in life, through no virtue of their own, who have 'achieved' in life..the people who won the genetic lottery (intelligence and health are inherited to a great degree), who have wealthy and supportive families who helped them succeed at every step.

They might have incredible, high achieving jobs...but why should they be 'proud' of this? The circumstances all gave rise to let them (conventionally) succeed in life.

They might have achieved in their jobs or hobbies but also be terrible partners or parents, who knows?

Not everyone is so fortunate in the hand they have been dealt. Achievement and pride in achievement should be considered relative to this.

You sound like you are a dedicated mother bringing up and supporting children with disabilities - what could be more important than that? You sound like you have a lot to be proud of.

Blueeyedmale · 04/09/2023 18:42

Op I used to think this but I'm betting you have one strength, I had learning disabilities, later diagnosis of autism, horrific childhood,ended up an addict at 14,spent time in prison, my life was a car crash,I came out of prison,got educated, got a job reestablised a relationship with my son,please don't put yourself down because I bet there is people out there that will tell you many things you are good at

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 18:51

suggestionsplease1 · 04/09/2023 18:38

OP, there will be people in life, through no virtue of their own, who have 'achieved' in life..the people who won the genetic lottery (intelligence and health are inherited to a great degree), who have wealthy and supportive families who helped them succeed at every step.

They might have incredible, high achieving jobs...but why should they be 'proud' of this? The circumstances all gave rise to let them (conventionally) succeed in life.

They might have achieved in their jobs or hobbies but also be terrible partners or parents, who knows?

Not everyone is so fortunate in the hand they have been dealt. Achievement and pride in achievement should be considered relative to this.

You sound like you are a dedicated mother bringing up and supporting children with disabilities - what could be more important than that? You sound like you have a lot to be proud of.

I do get you . And I love my children to bits they are hard work and zapp it out of of me. But they will always come before me no matter what and I do my best for them. If I didn't have my kids there would be no point.

But I wanted to achieve something for me . That i can feel proud of for myself. Nut there's nothing.

The rest of the stuff you mentioned I kind of hate it . (Not as in because you said it) but it's all over MN how perfect people are. How much they achieve. Their wonderful homes and familys . Very intelligent. Will never have to rely on the system. Everything comes easy. Yet I can't even crochet, cross stitch or what ever.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/09/2023 18:57

I completely understand wanting to have something you are good at, I am much the same.

Do you get child free time?

I was thinking you could do couch to 5k, it's a sense of achievement to stick with it and get to be able to running for 20 minutes then 25, 30. You start by running 60 seconds!

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 19:00

RandomMess · 04/09/2023 18:57

I completely understand wanting to have something you are good at, I am much the same.

Do you get child free time?

I was thinking you could do couch to 5k, it's a sense of achievement to stick with it and get to be able to running for 20 minutes then 25, 30. You start by running 60 seconds!

I don't get child free time. It would need to be something at home

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/09/2023 19:04

Hmmmm

There are some other fitness related things that require commitment for you to progress.

There are HIT ones and yoga type ones. Either of those appeal?

Making the time commitment and juggling things so it happens and literally ticking off how many days in a row/times per week you've done it is an achievement.

toadasoda · 04/09/2023 19:08

Don't laugh....but I get a lovely sense of achievement when I complete a big jigsaw. I know its not a skill but honestly when I'm feeling down it's like therapy for me. Little things like this can help with your stress levels and confidence, if you enjoy them of course.

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 19:12

RandomMess · 04/09/2023 19:04

Hmmmm

There are some other fitness related things that require commitment for you to progress.

There are HIT ones and yoga type ones. Either of those appeal?

Making the time commitment and juggling things so it happens and literally ticking off how many days in a row/times per week you've done it is an achievement.

I can't commit to stuff like that.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 04/09/2023 19:23

You do it as and when you do have the time?

Do the classes/routines one at a time by playing on YouTube.

Jigsaws are a good one too. So satisfying to finish a section as well as the whole thing.

LIZS · 04/09/2023 19:23

Tbh it is really difficult to self motivate to do something on your own, even following youtube or an online course, let alone with the pressures of your caring responsibilities. Doing something outside the home forces you to make the time and is an opportunity to distract yourself for a bit. Are there any carers organisations locally, do your dc attend any education or respite sessions?

Original poster
Losttrack · 04/09/2023 19:33

LIZS · 04/09/2023 19:23

Tbh it is really difficult to self motivate to do something on your own, even following youtube or an online course, let alone with the pressures of your caring responsibilities. Doing something outside the home forces you to make the time and is an opportunity to distract yourself for a bit. Are there any carers organisations locally, do your dc attend any education or respite sessions?

I (can't) do anything outside of the home.

OP posts:
LIZS · 04/09/2023 19:35

Or online regularly? A lot of groups still meet virtually.

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