I am nearly 17 stone, early 30s and so unhappy

[curvygirl4]

As the title says, I am obese. I want to lose at least 5 stone but I just don’t know where to start.

Can anyone point me in the direction of some resources that go back to basics with nutrition etc?

I am going to start calorie counting but I just feel so lost. I want to meet a nice man but I am so unhappy with myself.

Follow Seancaseyfitness on instagram for no nonsense, sensible advice. I’ve been where you are and it’s really tough to be so unhappy. I downloaded MyFitnessPal and have been calorie counting - it is working and after trying so many many diets I finally feel comfortable with my diet, wellbeing and speed of weight loss. I also joined a gym at over 17 stone and this has been amazing for my mental health. It felt scary at the time but it’s a place of so many different types of people and is now my happy place.

Thank you @Notsoanonymous235846283373838

anyone else?

I kept it simple.

Serve meals that are 1/3 protein, 1/3 veg and 1/3 carbs. Look at your plate !

Cook simple stuff from scratch, grilled meat/fish & veg, casseroles, kebabs with lots of veg.

Switch from sugary breakfast cereals to porridge & fruit

Go wholemeal - bread, pasta etc. It costs the same but has more fibre so leaves you feeling full for longer.

If you want sauces and dressings, make your own. Much less fattening (and expensive). Same for fruit yoghurts - buy plain yoghurt & add fresh fruit.

Keep a full fruit bowl and an empty snack cupboard. If you really need a snack, have a banana or wholemeal toast and spread. Don't keep biscuits/crisps/sweets in the house.

Exercise - a walk every lunchtime will increase your metabolic rate and reduce your stress levels. Both help. Good luck 🙂

I'd read Ultra Processed People and start from there.

This. It turns out that you can eat loads of non ultra processed food and still lose weight.

OP try downloading the NHS twelve week weight lose app. It's basically calorie counting but it sets you a goal of losing X amount in twelve weeks. Has a counter for your calories and gives you an idea of how many you should have each day. I've used it and lost three stone. Took longer than twelve weeks but I needed it to be able to keep track of what I was eating and drinking.

I'd lost that amount in my early 30s. I did it with diet and exercise.

Exercise I'd recommend walking to start with. Doesn't have to be far but regular. The idea is to build up slowly in time on feet and speed. However starting slowly it seems do able. How far you get to depends but something is better than nothing.

I ended up running half marathons once my weight was off. At that point I was running 3 times a week and could eat almost anything I wanted because running days I didn't eat quite as much as I was so busy!

Then follow a calorie counted sensible diet.

Realistically, I had to do both to make noticeable progress, and it's progress that keeps you fired up.

I've bought ultra processed people.

I'm heavier than you and just think when it's quote a lot of weight it's a different thing to just losing a few pounds. There's got to be a mental thing going on for me as well. And as you say an inability to know what normal eating looks like now for me .

If you want to keep it really simple just start eating much less. Serve yourself half of what you would eat ordinarily. So if you usually have two sugars have one. If you usually have a 12oz steak have a 6oz one. Every single time. Get two dinners out of every one you currently have. As you progress start to add back in veg and fruit to whatever portion size you like. But still only half of the rest.

I agree with getting rid of ultra processed food.
Cut out the crap.
If you want to eat cake or biscuits, make some yourself and have them as a treat once in a while.

Giving up (or cutting right down) on bread also helps. Bread is really processed and people tend to rely on it too much
When you give up bread, you tend to eat more nutritionally.

Wait til meal times to eat. You won't starve. Have water or a hot drink to keep you going.

Get enough sleep. If you don't sleep enough, you'll make bad choices in your diet.

OP I started at 17st 4, I'm now 15'12 and still losing. I downloaded Noom but it's effectively just calorie counting. I'd work out what your maintenance calories are and eat less than that to start. It takes roughly 3500 Kcal to lost 1 pound of weight. I weigh myself every day to track when I gain weight through hormonal and water fluctuation. This helps me to not be so downhearted when the scales are a bit heavier than usual. I also eat a lot of protein as this helps to burn fat faster. Good luck!

https://www.omnicalculator.com/health/maintenance-calorie

Immediately stop eating anything out of a packet that's been 'created' somewhere. That's all snacks, ready meals, pre-made things. Just whole ingredients that you can either eat raw or cook to make a meal with.

Try to avoid snacking, don't drink your calories (coffee, tea or water) and make your eating window as small as you can e.g. start eating at 10am and stop at 8pm.

At your weight, I would eat 1, 800- 1,900 cals a day and start exercising as much as you can. Moving those 5 extra stones more than usual will quickly burn through calories, and the advantage of this method is that you are learning pretty much what normal portions are. You will be able to up your calories by about 100 on a permanent basis once the weight is lost.

Focus on healthy eating and keeping a very close eye on portions. Especially with 'healthy' foods like muesli or nuts. A big bowl of muesli with milk can be 600 cals. A small handful of nuts can be 300 cals.

Think about foods you like that are also healthy for you. What are your favourite veg, fruit, lean proteins etc?

I would advise you to cut right back on refined carbs and sugar, just because they can trigger cravings that aren't hunger but feel like it. And up protein as that helps you feel full longer.

Work out a handful of breakfasts, lunches and dinners that are roughly 300, 500 and 700 cals each, so you have some wriggle room for cups of tea with milk and a small snack or a glass of wine.

An example:
Bagel thin with poached egg, a piece of fruit and coffee with milk for breakfast.

Veggie soup with a piece of cheese on toast for lunch

Baked chicken thighs with roast Mediterranean veg for dinner, with herby couscous and leaf salad. Slice of melon or bowl of strawberries.

If I have a sweet tooth after dinner, I have a Jude's fruit ice lolly - only 24 calories!

I think the key is to take it in small steps - 5 stone seems such an insurmountable thing that it's probably overwhelming. So maybe just focus on losing 1 stone, or even 1/2 a stone and go from there. Also, try making some basic changes that you can stick to - if it's too complicated, again you might just say 'fuck it' and rebel against it all and be back where you started.

So for example, this week tell yourself that you will go for a 30 minute walk everyday. Also you will have a healthy breakfast. That's it.
Then try keeping that going for another few weeks, and add in some more positive changes, like different types of exercise. But slowly, so you just adapt to it.

Maybe you could make sure you add more protein to your diet, or cut out fizzy drinks etc. But just keep building on good habits rather than punishing yourself. Shaming yourself for having a bad day or falling off the wagon is not going to help - try to think of it as a positive 'I'm going to nourish my body and take care of it' rather than hating it.

Also, don't rely on motivation to be the be all and end all - it is far easier to get motivated once you start to see changes, but motivation can come and go, and may not sustain you through a large weight loss. That's why building in positive habits can help more - if you just get into the habit of going for that walk everyday it becomes normal, or if you are more disciplined about eating healthier food choices it starts to become familiar. It is a life change but it doesn't have to be a scary one, and you are worth the effort.

Th Myfitnesspal app worked for me.. download it and you enter your stats (height, weight, how active your lifestyle is, how much weight you want to lose). You can choose the speed at which you want to do it and it will calculate how many calories you’ll need to eat per day to do it. You can enter your foods in the app and it tells you how many calories are in them. It can help with exercise too but you may want to wait til you’ve lost a bit before you start with that. It also has message board where people chat about weight loss and some people share their progress pics which can be really inspiring.

I lost the weight about 10 years ago and have been a size 10 ever since.

All of the food and exercise advice given is great, you can work out from here what works for you in that area.

I'd add to that: sit down for an honest conversation with yourself and acknowledge why you are in the position you are in. And I say that with no judgment because I've been exactly in your place.

For me, it was both boredom and comfort, with a sugar addiction. I would exercise a bit and cook perfectly balanced healthy meals, but then eat a whole packet of biscuit every evening. I had some counselling to help me recognise my own thoughts and behaviour patterns and work out how to change them.

You know yourself best, and you say you are unhappy so perhaps some counselling will help you too. Think about why you are where you are. Is it comfort eating? Boredom eating? Addictive habits? Lack of confidence? Lack of money? Lack of knowledge about food?

I was 21 stone at 25 so feel your pain. I lost 6 stone in 6 months by sticking to slimming world and doing a 5k walk everyday.

Once I lost the bulk of the weight I calorie counted and hit the gym. I now sit comfortably around 13 stone and weight train a few times a week and still do my daily walk.

I still highly recommend slimming world and my mum is a life long target member and still goes to group each week x

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/AMA/4881897-ive-lost-16-stone-ama

I found this post above really helpful and inspirational. Very sensible approach regarding calorie counting and planning your meals when you can’t count to retain some control over what you’re eating.

Suggest starting with calorie counting and being honest - when I did this I discovered my meals were pretty good, but it was the snacks in between that we’re adding up to 700 or 800 cal every day.

Once you know your weak points you can start to make adjustments that are sensible to get into a calorie deficit. Exercise is brilliant but not necessarily to lose weight. It’s about m habit building and changing lifestyle to become a bit healthier and make exercise part of your daily routine. Good luck OP .

You need to work out where you are going wrong.
I don't drink alcohol or eat sugary things but I love carbs. My plate is now at least 1/2 veg 1/4 protein with the other 1/4 being carb or more veg/protein. Increasing fibre seems to have worked well.
I bought kitchen scales to help educate myself. Shocked what a portion of pasta looks like but over time it has become a satisfying portion for me.
My only other rule is never eating after dinner. I can drink tea or water but I realise that I used to eat another snack before bed which I've cut out.

one simple thing you can do is stop drinking

it's full of calories and makes you make terrible food choices when you have a hang over

I know it's a bit expensive, but I joined slimming world when I realised I just had no clue how to eat in a way that didn't make me fat. They did push their processed crap a bit back then, but it did help me

really just cutting out processed food will do it, but it might be slow (at least partly because anything you really want to snack on is processed, so you just en up eating fewer calories).

best of luck OP

I’ve lost 5 stone, was heavier than you at the start. First thing is give yourself time, that’s been over 3 years. There are sometimes I go a months putting on and losing the same few pounds other times it seems to drop off.

The slimming clubs didn’t work for me, been there tried that.

Practical things that helped me:

Switch to full fat milk, it tastes nicer and keeps you fuller for longer. I avoid the low fat yoghurt/dairy as they tend to be much higher in sugar and I’m diabetic.

Dont rely on processed food. There are times when you’ll need to have them because… life… but I’ve found I put on weight when I eat them a lot.

Go for meat, veg, carb meals that you prepare instead.

Those ring iced biscuits are useful for the sweet tooth as they are very sweet so you don’t eat many before you’ve had enough.

Get more active. I’m not very active as I have arthritis but walk more than you usually would. Forget people who knock out 10k steps no problem if that’s not near what you do. It’s about doing more than what YOU would usually do. It’s a kicker at first, I was bloody exhausted but it does help over time.

Firstly know that YOU CAN DO IT and time is on your side here.

The best approach is to lose slowly and steadily.

There's lots of advice and it's all overwhelming but all you really need are:

• a meal plan
• a workout plan
• try to avoid hidden calories as much as you can in soda, sauces, alcohol.

You can do it!

I'm in my early thirties and signed up to Noom (they do a free two week trial and at the end of that I decided to pay for 3 months, it's still cheaper than a gym membership I wouldn't have used!) It combines structure with choice and promotes slow but long term weight loss through habit changes, I've lost an average of 1.5lbs a week and am still able to enjoy some of my favourite food and drink. It's left me feeling confident that after I reach my goal I won't instantly go back to my old habits that got me here in the first place. It's also taught me it's not as simple as just lowering your calories or running a marathon a day, weight loss is affected by loads of different things.

I tried Noon, didn't suit me at all.

MyFitnessPal, lost 2 stone but you have to be honest with what you eat, be prepared to weigh food to get a better idea of what a portion should be.

Currently using Fastastic and have lost half a stone, I like this one but I still use the free version on MFP to keep an eye on how much protein and iron I have. Protein is extremely important in feeling full for longer.

Thank you everyone for the advice. I really appreciate it.

Just to give you an idea of my daily diet / what I ate yesterday:

• Woke up, was going out for brunch so had some m&ms with a cup of tea
• Brunch - full English with ketchup
• Can of sprite
• Wasabi chicken gyozas (the ones you cook at home)
• Olives I bought in a market on Saturday
• Popcorn
• Salted peanuts
• Chicken pesto pasta - but used lots of oil, lots of pesto, and lots of cheese on top. Had full-fat mayonnaise and salad dressing on the side (yes I am weird with my condiments)
• Glass of prosecco
• Can of Diet Coke
• Cadbury's chocolate yoghurt
• Crunchie bar
• A glass of squash (no other water)

God, that’s really, really, really bad isn’t it 😱

I think my main issues are: I am addicted to sugar and (diet) fizzy drinks.