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I am nearly 17 stone, early 30s and so unhappy

109 replies

curvygirl4 · 04/09/2023 09:32

As the title says, I am obese. I want to lose at least 5 stone but I just don’t know where to start.

Can anyone point me in the direction of some resources that go back to basics with nutrition etc?

I am going to start calorie counting but I just feel so lost. I want to meet a nice man but I am so unhappy with myself.

OP posts:
JoanOfThePark · 04/09/2023 11:04

Lots of useful advice here. I just wanted to add, please be kind to yourself and try to take each day as it comes so you don't get into a cycle of despair. I understand about wanting to meet a nice man, but honestly, speaking as someone around 20 years older than you, I can say the most important thing is feeling happy in your own skin. So, maybe work on that first. Sending lots of positive vibes.

DisforDarkChocolate · 04/09/2023 11:07

Also, if you can afford it something like Mindful Chef has lots of healthy low calorie meals that help you eat appropriate portion sizes and a good range of vegetables.

I found it really helpful to have snacks in that were all under 100 calories. Some healthy like a hard boiled eggs and carrot sticks, some not so much but if you're resetting how you think about food I don't think it's good to cut out while groups. Even chocolate.

Finally, think of it as a long game. Don't get upset by weeks were nothing seems to happen weight wise but you've eaten well and moved loads. Some weeks are just like that, especially for women.

PinkRoses1245 · 04/09/2023 11:07

Focus on small changes. Swap fizzy drinks for sugar free squash with water. Plan all your meals and snacks ahead of time, only buy food for these and nothing else. Include a few small treats, but very limited. Don't focus on calories, focus on eating whole foods and nothing ultra processed. Don't force yourself to eat fruit and veg you don't like, find out your favourites and stick to those if you know you'll eat them. If there are times of the day you know you are prone to snacking, plan something for those times or go out for a walk. Find an exercise you really enjoy so you are motivated.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

Phos · 04/09/2023 11:09

Personally I don't believe in Slimming World's nonsense about fixes and syns and bloody weetabix cheesecakes BUT I do like the accountability that going for weigh ins gives you. So I join, probably stay for the full meeting every other week but in terms of the plan I use My Fitness Pal (or there's another one, Nutri-something) to ensure I remain in calorie deficit. I try to stick to protein rich meals, not be afraid of some fats and reduce stuff like refined sugar. The nice thing with calorie tracking though is when you look at your app and realise you've still got wiggle room for a treat after dinner.

CupOfCoffeePlease · 04/09/2023 11:10

Wow @AperolWhore that's amazing. That's my current weight and I'd started thinking weight loss wasn't possible/I'd need surgery.

I really want to beat it. I need to read up some comments I've not read all.

Those saying to cut out bread/packets etc. Thing is I need to know what TO eat .

Ie if i don't have a sandwhcih amd crisps at lunch - I need TO eat something.

Similarly chips and nuggets or whatever the kids eat - if I take out chips and nuggets I'd be left with peas!

I need help starting to know what TO eat instead that isn't too hard to do when exhausted (so easy or simple).

curvygirl4 · 04/09/2023 11:11

Has anyone tried the book “slimming foodie in minutes” ?

OP posts:
Underthehollytree · 04/09/2023 11:14

Some really great advice here, I agree with PPs saying you need to look at the reasons for your overeating, otherwise it's very difficult to make long term changes. Personally I went for weight loss surgery after years of struggling with my weight, but I appreciate it's not for everyone! I would also add that you should avoid putting your life on hold until you've lost weight - I missed out on so much because I didn't think I could travel, do certain hobbies, meet a new partner etc while overweight. Good luck! x

Riverbananacarrot · 04/09/2023 11:16

First can just say a massive well done for taking the first step.
You can absolutely do this. It won't be fast and it won't be easy but it will be so worth it.
Absolutely recommend following Sean Casey he is fab , no nonsense and sensible advice. Very simply to lose weigh to need to eat less calories that you use. All weight loss plans and diets do this in different ways. I follow slimming world and I love it, it works for me. Calorie counting has also worked for me in the past.

Think of some of your favourite meals and work out how to make them lower calorie.
Diet makes up the most important part of weight loss bit exercise will help with energy levels.

Make clever swaps, instead of oil use low cal cooking spray.
Try swapping fizzy drinks for diet versions, pepsi max to me tastes way better that any other diet cola.
Swap full fat mayo for light mayo
Swap crunchie bar for curly wurly.

Glorifried · 04/09/2023 11:16

Op, on the plus side, cutting out / reducing the alcohol / chocolate / condiments will all help.

HippyChickMama · 04/09/2023 11:17

However you decide to do it, feel free to join us on this thread

5st to loose, 26 weeks, 1:1 diet http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/weightlosss_chat/4827145-5st-to-loose-26-weeks-11-diet

Riverbananacarrot · 04/09/2023 11:17

Oh follow bored of lunch on Instagram he has some amazing low calorie recipes for slow cooker and air fryer.

Lelophants · 04/09/2023 11:19

Have you done slimming world? It’s so good because you commit and have a whole community. If you follow it you WILL lose weight. You make friends there too and get all the eduction, it’s fab. And you can still eat lots of things you like.

tescocreditcard · 04/09/2023 11:22

Go and get weight loss surgery. Every month, someone I know has weight loss surgery.

Lentilweaver · 04/09/2023 11:22

There's zero veg or fruit in your diet. And too much sugar and fizzy drinks ( but you know that).

Crikeyalmighty · 04/09/2023 11:22

I've got down from 16st 3 to 14stone 1 in 10 months- I've still eaten quite a lot but cut the carbs- I don't eat lunch- I have a spinach based smoothie - I'm averaging 1500 calories a day and far less carbs and I still drink wine Friday and Saturdays , I walk more- the thing is if you lose even 2 stone you find you can't eat as much- I'm stuffed on smaller amounts. I don't look or feel amazing I must admit 'yet' , but do look and feel 'better'

AperolWhore · 04/09/2023 11:25

@CupOfCoffeePlease definitely give slimming world a try, the groups are super friendly and the food choices are great.

Good luck on your journey 👍🏼

Cherry2456 · 04/09/2023 11:27

As well as trying diets, have a think about what role food plays in your life. Do you eat when stressed, happy, depressed, as a reward? Do you have large portion sizes? Where you brought up with ultra processed foods as a staple in your family? Are your family prone to gain weight, there are some genes that mean people produce more of the hunger hormone ghrelin, other that mean they are slower to use body fat, their brains are highly stimulated by high fat and sugary foods etc so maybe choose a diet that takes into account the factors that apply to you.

justwatchingtelly · 04/09/2023 11:30

Read glucose revolution. It's an easy read and makes sense. You can also follow the glucose goddess on instagram

Balloonhearts · 04/09/2023 11:34

Activity will give you that first boost to get it started. See about taking up a hobby that is active but you love. I'm the same weight as you and I started horse riding.

Took me a bit of time to find somewhere as a lot of stables have unrealistically low weight limits but I did find somewhere with big horses and I dropped a stone within 3 months. Because it didn't feel like exercise. Still doesn't. 20 minutes straight of rising trot burns through a heck of a lot of calories but is so much fun that you don't realise it until you jump off and your legs are like jelly.

Plus all the hauling tack and water buckets about and chasing the cheeky fucker across the field to get him in for my lesson is loads of extra steps.

Find something that you enjoy and you won't even notice that you're shattered until afterwards.

PinkSparklyPussyCat · 04/09/2023 11:36

I'm in the same place as you OP but a few years older. I know I need to do something as I hate it but it's knowing where to start. I have a very temperamental digestive system so can't eat too much fruit, veg or fibre and I know they are the things that I need! I plan to start walking and then drag myself to the gym once I'm feeling more confident. I've got Apple Fitness so I'm going to use their Time to Walk podcasts to try to get myself started.

Good luck!

Thisismynewusername1 · 04/09/2023 11:42

you need to find something that works for you. Bottom line is it’s calorie deficit. Whether you go that by cutting out food groups (upf, low carb etc) or reducing your time of eating (intermittent fasting) or simply counting calories. It’s all about reducing intake.

what worked for me was signing up for 3 months to a diet plan (diet chef, Jane plan etc). Then I didn’t have to think or plan, I couldn’t add extra spoonfuls or snacks thinking 100 calories extra won’t hurt.

it actually worked out reasonable value as I wasn’t buying food except milk and fruit/veggies. It got me into the habit
of bulking out meals with veg and salad, rather than increasing portion size.

I lost 2 stone those 3 months, and I’ve lost another stone since doing my own version now I’m in the habit and more aware of “normal” portion sizes.

ActDottie · 04/09/2023 11:42

My Fitness Pal is the best calorie counting app out there. It worked for me and all I did was calorie count and exercise a bit more. I didn’t do anything in terms of eat no chocolate or sweets etc. as long as it was inside my calorie allowance then I had it. Then on Fridays I let myself have a bit more freedom and have a full 2000 calories.

Dahliasrule · 04/09/2023 11:46

When I was very overweight the doctor gave me a voucher for 12 weeks at a slimming club. Does your area do that?

BernardBlacksMolluscs · 04/09/2023 11:51

There is a lot to be said for regular weigh ins

Ebee19 · 04/09/2023 11:53

Hi,
I want to firstly say a massive congratulations on taking this first step. I would split it into five different areas.
Firstly, more physical exercise. At first, you need to think about your joints so walking or swimming is really helpful. I would second what people have said above about gyms actually being really friendly places. I found going somewhere with a sauna really nice as you could talk to people and it can become a bit of treat (which can replace other treats). Once you've built up swimming or walking gradually, you could look at aqua classes or coach to 5k. But build up gradually and stretch before/after.
Secondly, food is really important. A few treats is ok but few being the main word. Look to switch as much as possible to whole foods or no processed foods. The first step is easy switches for things you have every day. Switching out cheese, or fizzy drinks for water or herbal teas, choosing a small chocolate bar not a big one etc. If you don't know how to cook, then it's a good time to learn as means you don't need to use package foods. Low fat often have lots of sugar so not always sensible, and also packaged sauces and meals often have a lot of things added to them so a sensible thing to cut out.
Thirdly, sleep is really important for losing weight. Fourthly, mental health is always really important here. Make sure you keep loving yourself and how you look - you want someone to love you for who are inside not the outside :) Going to the gym definitely helps with mental health, but also thinking about meditation, journaling, gratitude lists or even therapy if you think you need it. Finally, think about social life. True friends will support you in losing weight and being able to switch to going for a walk together or choosing a healthier brunch spot can all be really useful.

I saw your meal plan and thought I would try and suggest a few options if that helps.

  • Woke up, was going out for brunch so had some m&ms with a cup of tea - first thing is sweets or sugar for breakfast is only make you hungry all day. It's worth choosing a banana, a slice of brown toast, or some porridge. Even a banana can keep you going till brunch, but don't cut out breakfast :)
  • Brunch - full English with ketchup - nothing wrong with a full english if not every day (because of oil and processed meat) and doing enough exercise, it's actually pretty balanced. One way to do each day could be swapping for scrambled egg on toast with spinach, or avacado on toast. Things like that :)
  • Can of sprite - this could definitely be a good one to switch - how about tea or herbal tea - you could make a pot to go.
  • Wasabi chicken gyozas (the ones you cook at home) - if these are home made, then maybe try reducing the sauces. If ones which you buy pre made they probably have a lot added in so maybe try learning to cook alternatives. People have put a lot of health swap sites above.
  • Olives I bought in a market on Saturday - nothing wrong
  • Popcorn - still good snack re calories but can be a bit empty fuel wise.
  • Salted peanuts - nothing wrong but could go unsalted. But did you feel hungry for all three snacks, or could you have maybe just had one - just a thought.
  • Chicken pesto pasta - but used lots of oil, lots of pesto, and lots of cheese on top. Had full-fat mayonnaise and salad dressing on the side (yes I am weird with my condiments) - pasta is good but lots of calories, so sometimes potato can be better. Chicken is good, but adding tons of pesto and cheese (while good in moderation) might not be needed. Also, about vegetables - aiming for half your plate being vegetable is what is recommended.
  • Glass of prosecco - we all need a treat :)
  • Can of Diet Coke - could this switch to water.
  • Cadbury's chocolate yoghurt - also a chocoholic so no judgement - but do you need two snacks? could you switch one for popcorn or nuts?
  • Crunchie bar - see above
  • A glass of squash (no other water) - why not just plain water or some herbal tea?
It looks a bit like you are just eating too much and a lot of snacks. I would recommend more water or herbal tea, trying to think about snacks and having one healthy one (with a designated time for chocolate in the week). Re meals, I think it's all the things being added to the meal - sauces and condiments. I would look at how you can redesign them and more vegetables.

One possible meal guide could be:
Breakfast: scrambled egg on a slice of brown toast with spinach or sweet onion on the side if you want, with a cup of tea and water.
Snack if needed: banana and some water.
Lunch: maybe salad with beans or chicken or cheese (without condiments), low salt baked beans on toast, jacket potatoes with tuna and sweetcorn - with salad sticks or apple on the side. Water
Snacks: nuts with tea or water.
Dinner: Chicken, salmon, mince, steak or any first class protein. Potato, sweet potato or jacket potato with vegetables - try for half a plate. With water or tea.
Snack: popcorn or olives, or peanut butter on oatcakes.

Hope some of that helps :)