I am nearly 17 stone, early 30s and so unhappy

[curvygirl4]

As the title says, I am obese. I want to lose at least 5 stone but I just don’t know where to start.

Can anyone point me in the direction of some resources that go back to basics with nutrition etc?

I am going to start calorie counting but I just feel so lost. I want to meet a nice man but I am so unhappy with myself.

I think @Farmageddon’s advice is absolutely right. I think adding things into your life rather than cutting things out is a more sustainable way to think of it, to behave and ultimately to change.

I lost weight when I stopped embarking on big regimes and played the long game in terms of changing my thinking. I started by adding 30 minutes exercise every day (brisk walking), adding more fresh food, more protein, adding in more small non food treats for myself, adding in more social contact (coffee with a friends once a week in my case). I didn’t cut out any foods or deprive myself at the beginning. I found that as I started to feel better generally then stopping the snacking, unhealthy food, and sitting about that I had been doing came more naturally. I knew that evening snacking was my downfall so I added a hobby into my evenings to keep my hands busy! I then signed up for Walkactive and focussed on building that up and tried to confine my eating to fresh unprocessed food with plenty of protein and plenty of water. I kept the goal attainable, half a stone at a time. I tried to keep it simple.

I did this over a year and lost 3.5 stone but, for me, it was slow, sustainable and permanent. I do think some apps like Noom can be helpful if fairly light touch guidance about quantities and calories etc is needed as long as deviating from it isn’t treated like a catastrophe. I think self compassion is an essential component of any change.

Best of luck @curvygirl4

This was me 2 years ago.

17st9lbs depressed. Self hatred was so high. I was embarrassed.

Tried every diet under the sun for 15 years.

I had a gastric sleeve.

Am now 10st 10lbs and the happiest I've ever been.

Oh yes, forgot to say I also added sleep to my life! It’s amazing what a good night’s sleep can do as @Ebee19 says! Obvious but I used to really neglect this.

Hi OP :) I managed to lose some baby weight last year by:

Doing a 45 min walk every day
Doing 1 or 2 30 min swims each week
Not drinking my calories - I stick to water or coffee (no sugar). Hardly drink any booze
Not eating after 6pm
Sometimes having a ‘lowish’ carb dinner eg fishcake and lots of veg
Having a healthy breakfast that fills you up, such as eggs and baked beans. Cereal is crap.

What job do you do OP? I definitely found working an office job hasn’t helped my weight!

The sugar seems to be a big issue so i’d also start there - not like cut it out in one go but begin swapping some of it for different things and cut down gradually.

My other piece of advice is to really focus on healthy food choices and moving etc vs losing numbers on a scale.

Good luck, well done in looking for help.

Your eating habits show that you like to snack in between meals so use that as a basis for a kind change in habits as opposed to a drastic change in habits which often lead to failure.

Basically, vegetables, seeds and berries are your friends and you need to look into eating as many as 30 over a week that includes fresh,frozen and dried; with garlic, herbs, carrots and onions, all types of pickles and have a big stock of them in your freezer, fridge, window ledges and cupboards.

If you develop an interest in vegetables and berries how to cook, what to grow, and make the most of them in glut and in season you will not only be healthy minded you will be healthy in body as they are useful as snacks and in main meals and get you out in gardens and hedgerows and pick your owns!

Combine these with protein sources of your choice you will develop a healthy glow and outlook.

Being 17 stone puts your body under stress and fat is inflammation so have a look at an anti inflammatory way forward.

Good luck

Ok so I'm a mns teeny tiny or whatever they call us. People ask me how I am like this. After my dc I was much bigger but got back down in a couple of years. The simple truth is I don't eat like other people. There is no magic answer or formula. It's definitely emotional and it would be good to tackle that at the same time but that can be a long hard process.

Pp telling you to eat less or 0 processed are right and that is how you will lose and maintain health, however for someone (like me) who likes sweet and convenient food that is very very hard. I'm a busy person so thinking about fresh all the time is difficult and it's just not satisfying immediately let's be honest. It's definitely something to aim towards but to start off with my advice is:

Stop or significantly cut down on alcohol.

Go as long as you can without eating when you get up. I see people eat breakfast, lunch and dinner and snacks just because it's noon or whatever but I have never eaten at mealtimes in my life. I don't think it's that normal to be hungry bang on 5pm or whenever dinner time is. I eat when I'm really really hungry and never before midday. I do drink coffee or tea in the morning.

Reduce sugar in drinks to one. It's unrealistic to cut it out or stop having hot drinks with milk for example.

Eat chocolate (or your chosen vice) everyday but just eat a small amount and stop. Put a couple of pieces in a bowl don't eat from the bar. Basically don't deny yourself your vice because misery leads to binge then guilt then binge.

Eat half your meal and then drink water. Don't finish the plate just coz. Sit for a few mins after and focus on your stomach, if you can feel it slightly full then you are finished. Don't expect that uncomfortable full feeling, avoid it, telling yourself it's not a nice way to feel. Wait until the hunger is obvious before you eat again.

Stand up. I don't know what your job is but stand up lots. Don't lounge during the day. Get up and do tasks, mooch about. Walk to the kitchen and get a glass of water every hour. Walk about every day if you can. Play with the kids or just stand and watch them play. Stand to watch TV. Walk about while waiting for the washing. I am never off my feet and I can't remember the last time I watched TV. You will be shattered by 9pm so go to bed. It's unrealistic to set a full exercise goal at this stage. That will come later.

Once you start feeling better in yourself and see some loss you can then look at the processed food and calories but I'd start off making small simple changes to get your body used to less and for it to be sustainable.

Don't do everything at once. I would start buy cutting out snacks and trying to walk 7,000 steps a day. Once you have that habit down focus on having a healthy breakfast (porridge, wholemeal toast and poached eggs, Greek yogurt and fruit) keep an eye on the portions and note the calories. Then move to having all three meals as healthy and sensible as you can.

Also it's very tempted to have a fuck it attitude of you have one bad meal so you binge all day or all weekend because you will definitely start again on Monday. Life happens, if you end up blowing your calories on one meal then just get right back to it at the next meal.

Op you have had good advice from previous posters, your main issue seems to be sugar and portion control. Cut the alcohol and fizzy drinks, just drink water it's good for you.

Plan your meals, make sure you have a protein heavy breakfast, so eggs with avocado and mushrooms and spinach or a protein smoothie with banana, berries and spinach, maybe porridge with fruit? Don't spike your insulin first thing in the morning as it makes you hungrier after the initial sugar high and then inevitable slump..

Lunch again focus on protein and good fats with lots of veg, chicken or fish with salad with home made dressing, low gi complex carbs like sweet potato.

Dinner maybe a beef or chicken stir fry with peppers, broccoli, carrots and green veg, home made marinade, serve with a small portion of brown rice.

Snacks should be minimal as I don't believe we really need to be snacking all the time, maybe some berries, apple with peanut butter, crudités with hummus or small hand full of nuts. Dessert could be more fruit or dark chocolate.

Avoid eating late at night to give your body a chance to start digesting and utilising those calories before bed. Keep up water intake and maintain a sleep schedule. Get organised with shopping and meal planning, prep food in advance so when the hunger hits you have healthy options on hand so you don't reach for the easy junk or order a takeaway.

Try going for a daily walk, blast your favourite music or listen to an audio book or podcast. Look up some videos on YouTube for home workouts, yoga, Pilates and resistance band exercises are great for toning and core strength.

You can do this OP, the main thing is organisation and routine. But also be kind to yourself and take it one step at a time.

You didn't put all this weight on overnight and you won't lose it overnight either. You've made a great start in focusing on what you are currently eating and deciding to improve on it. Pat yourself on the back for that.
If you can, to get you started join an online or real life club

This is a day by day journey. You will have healthy days and some bad days. The idea is to have more healthy days . Get back on the horse and keep going. Apparently it takes 20 days to learn a new habit - like drinking more water.

I found it was hard in the first weeks because it was all about menu planning and thinking about shopping and cooking for food was quite overwhelming, plus trying to make the rest of the household get on board - which literally just made me hungry all the time. I wanted to stop thinking about it! Just try to keep moving in the right direction and accept that you will have slip-ups on the way but you will keep going. Build up some cards with meals that work for you... so you don't have to think about it so much.

But if you decide it's more about health, then its not so hard to start slow, eg find five breakfasts you can live with, write them down and shop for them. Look up overnight oats. If you like full English, how can you make it healthier? Eggs and sausages (Quorn would be lower fat?) Low carb/low sugar beans? Grilled Tomatoes or Grilled Mushrooms? if you had a nice breakfast to start the day, you'd feel more satisfied.

Try new cooking methods and new recipes. There are so many quick healthy meal prep ideas on Instagram/you Tube - (longer) . its less time reading and pondering as they are all videos... and I've had a lot of good ideas from this. Decide to make one of them at least once a week.. and put it on your menu card. Once you've told yourself its OK to do a bit of tedious tracking for the first few weeks, you will get used to it and it won't be so intense.

Don't let this put you off socialising. You are trying to get away from the idea of diet as punishment or deprivation. If your food is fine the majority of the time, you can get away with going out for a meal. Just watch it a bit. but don't go on about it in public or you will feel under a microscope. You don't have to have salad every time you are out. Everything is in moderation so that its sustainable.

Keep supportive people around you. (which is why a club/group is a great idea) But If anyone is a weight nag, or makes you feel bad, don't tell them you are dieting, shut them down on conversations as they can derail you and just say I'm focusing on improving my health every day and change the subject.

Snacks; You seem to want a lot of snacks. So find ones that are good for you. that you can live with, write it down, shop for them etc. Think about why you want them/ eat them. Is it comfort eating? or boredom? what can you do to alleviate that.

Drinks - Fizzy drinks are not very good for you long term. Sparkling water? Flavoured with fruit juice and lots of ice, mint, lemon etc. Cut down on Alcohol - Drink Aware app is very good for this and I found it very easy to use.
The more water you drink. The less thirsty you are and the less you will need the fizzy drinks. I tried having white wine spritzers when out as it made the drink last longer and was thirst quenching and so cut down the amount of alcohol.. also alternating with a soft drink.

Exercise At 17 stone, I think you should start simply with things like walking until you lose weight, to protect your joints. Wear good trainers. Week 1 just find some quick 5 - 15-minute walks near you daily and even if you are busy, squeeze them in. You can build up and go longer walks when you have time. Earphones in. It's still nice light weather ATM. Wear a cagool and go even if its raining. Diabetics are advised to do this after food so that's a good time too. Find a good Stretching programme on Insta or You Tube that you can do first thing. Swimming is excellent, even if its just a quick swim to start with. Cycling, also kinder to your joints. Once you get started you can build up.

You sound quite motivated and that's the best start. Best of luck.

Speak to your GP. They may be able to refer you to Second Nature for free. Its basically healthy eating with low carbs and very low sugar and minimal snacks but there is ongoing support.

The secret world of slimming podcast is a funny and uplifting look into the world of slimming. It's not a diet podcast but is lighthearted and doesn't take itself seriously.

If it would help you, @curvygirl4, I'm starting the next Low Carb Bootcamp on Monday. It will last for 8 weeks. That said, we keep chat threads going once each Bootcamp has finished, so there's always someone around to chat to or ask for help/support.

If you're interested, the sign-up thread is here

(or you can PM me if you want to know more!)

I'm 17st 1lb and have started calorie counting today. Reading these posts really helps. So far today, I've had 2 weetabix, a banana and a small bowl of pasta left over from last night. Tonight I'm having a salmon fishcake with sweet potato wedges and salad. Have also started drinking water recently. About 2 litres a day. I usually drink no water, just fizzy drinks and coffee so this is my first win.

If you are on Facebook, join the chub club calorie deficit group. It is women only, and very supportive. You get the odd troll but admin are very good at kicking them out quickly. I have lost 4 stone since March with calorie counting using my fitness pal. It is hard, but can be done if you stick to it.

Doing it gradually is really good advice :)

if you can afford it - sign up for the fast 800 online course. its about £100 . hard work, but if you follow it - it definitely works. fast initial los helped motivate me to stick at it, and I dropped 3 stone over about 5 months.

I have an obese friend who eats healthy meals. We are both 5 feet 2 and she is a size 20, I am a size 8-10.

We are both in the same profession, same age, with older dc.

Every year in the summer we go on a 2 week long holiday together.

I hope it might help if I let you know the biggest difference in our eating habits:

Friend always had to have a big breakfast, sit down lunch and heavy but healthy dinner with snacks and drinks all day.

I simply can not face a big breakfast after a big dinner the night before so I only want one medium sized meal a day with a few drinks and snacks otherwise I feel over faced with food, lethargic and desperate to swim or go for a walk rather than face another meal.

My friend places far more emphasis on food and arranges her day around the enjoyment of eating whereas I also am also a massive foodie but I simply do not have such a cavernous stomach to fill.

I also never feel hungry whereas my friend always feels hungry, so I join her for these meals but choose something small and light and make just one - the breakfast, lunch or dinner the main meal of the day, never all 3.

So may be it is about re educating/ shrinking the stomach?!

Hope that helps.

Read James Smith's Not a Diet book or look at his YouTube channel

@Vijia I think there's a lot on that too. If food becomes your main enjoyment a lot of life tends to get planned around it- and very few meals ever get skipped - I've noticed with my slim friends that very few of them spend as much time thinking about meals, a lot skip meals if not hungry and have to say very few of them are what I would call 'foodies' either. I do think a change in mindset is often needed and sometimes more interests added to life

I’m in the same boat. Weighed in at 16 stone 5 this morning and feel disgusting. I’m a carer and also work four days a week and I think I’m just exhausted so go for easy foods and eat my feelings which is so unhealthy. I’ve been looking at doing the fast 800 along with walking and just taking things a day at a time. Setting small goals.

Water seems to be key and not snacking.

Happy to buddy up 🙂

The books that changed my life literally were delay dont deny and fast feast repeat by Gin Stephens, and the obesity code by Jason Fung, weightloss is so much more than calories in/out.

Stop eating processed foods and sweet things. You can follow all the diet plans in the world but unless you cut down on these two things nothing will work long term.

Does your local council or NHS do anything to help? Some of them offer Gloji now to people with a BMI over 30. Others do SlimmingWorld.

OP I lost 6 stone on Keto, Gained 5 and am losing again and at 3 down.

There has been some amazing advice on here but please go slowly. The original 6 stone I lost in 9 months. I have been losing this 3 for about a year, it may feel slow but it is a proper lifestyle change, I live a very active lifestyle now and think about nourishing my body rather than losing the pounds. The start can be as simple as going for a walk and cutting down on the food a little, you can build from that. If you calorie count, do not go off what myfitness pal says and start eating 1200 calories. Find a BMR calculator online and then take 3-400 calories off that. You'll probably find you need 2000 to start with or more.

I personally go to slimming world as like the support but don't really follow the plan, but I do stick to their healthy A and B options a day and plenty of fruit and veg. I don't count syns and focus on plenty of proteins. But I know when I am over indulging now.
If you go ahead now and cut out all processed food you'll likely find it very hard and more likely to fail, just start making small healthy choices.

It's not a sprint, it's a marathon. Best of luck to you.