I am nearly 17 stone, early 30s and so unhappy

[curvygirl4]

As the title says, I am obese. I want to lose at least 5 stone but I just don’t know where to start.

Can anyone point me in the direction of some resources that go back to basics with nutrition etc?

I am going to start calorie counting but I just feel so lost. I want to meet a nice man but I am so unhappy with myself.

Educating myself about calories and portion size was huge for me. I note your food diary and it is large but also could be very variable depending on portions. Its very easy to slightly overeat high calorie things like sauce and oil without noticing or feeling it.

E.g.

• Woke up, was going out for brunch so had some m&ms with a cup of tea

Small 40g bag 190cal
Large 126g bag 600cal

• Brunch - full English with ketchup

Large Wetherspoons - 1400cal
Traditional Wetherspoons - 810cal
Small Wetherspoons - 460cal

• Can of sprite

Normal - 50cal
Diiet - 0cal

• Wasabi chicken gyozas (the ones you cook at home)

Assuming 100g pack - 230cals

• Olives I bought in a market on Saturday

Could be anywhere from 50-500cals depending on how many you ate and if they were stuffed, in extra oil etc.

• Popcorn

Going to assume a small pack based on other snacks. Assume more if larger pack.
Proper corn 14g - 65 cals
Butterkist toffee 20g - 85cals

• Salted peanuts

Depends on serving. 180cals if 30g recommended. Times that by weight.

• Chicken pesto pasta - but used lots of oil, lots of pesto, and lots of cheese on top. Had full-fat mayonnaise and salad dressing on the side (yes I am weird with my condiments)

Minefield here - most difficult to estimate without weight. Recommended servings of above come to:

50g chicken (60cal) 80g pasta (287cal) 25g pesto (135cal) 30g cheddar (125cal) 1tbsp olive oil (120cal) 1tbsp mayo (100cal) 1tbsp french dressing (70cals).

That is about 900cals and I can almost guarantee more as the most calorific (cheese, oil and sauce) are the easiest to go over on - doubling those gets us to 1315cals ignoring pesto, chicken and pasta.

• Glass of prosecco

125ml - 90cals
250ml - 180cals

• Can of Diet Coke

0 cals

• Cadbury's chocolate yoghurt

210 cals

• Crunchie bar

190 cals

• A glass of squash (no other water)

0 assuming sugar free. Slightly more if not.

That day is minimum 2615 calories assuming you went for the lowest calorie options and recommended portions.

Going for the higher or larger options gets you to 4000 or more calories for the day.

Either one was too much but it's really helpful to see how each choice aggregates over the course of the day. Cutting out the snacks, sticking to recommended portions and bring mindful of easy swaps could get you really far.

Lots of good advice and wanted to say good luck to you.

I am older and was raised by a much older Mother who was raised on rationing, she had been taught how to cook, pickle, preserve and she disapproved of processed food that started hitting the shops in the 1960’s and especially 1970’s onwards.

All the advice is really going back to how we used to live. I actually think processed food and the way society eats has changed so much over the last 50 years many people are set up to fail.

Buy a dinner plate in a charity shop that’s from the 1970’s. I still have some and they are tiny compared to ones you buy now. Plus find something you love , could be anything or learning a new skill, do something you have always wanted to try because you still need to enjoy your life.

Totally agree with this. Also cooking treats with sugar at home (biscuits, cakes) is so much better than relying on the addictive sweeteners in most processed ‘treats’ and all the low fat/no sugar diet foods. They are designed to keep
you hooked and hungry. I found when I started baking with sugar and cut out the above, I stopped craving.

This is good advice and basically what slimming world is.

I think a key point that often gets overlooked is that the more weight you lose, the fewer calories you need.

at 17 stone you may lose weight on 2200 calories. At 15 stone you will need to reduce that to nearer 1900. By the time you get to 12 stone it’s 1700. Purely because your body is doing less work- can you imagine carrying a 12 or 36 kg weight everywhere? Hard work!

not allowing for that means people plateau quickly and then give up because they’re sticking to their diet and it isn’t working any more.

Small swaps will do wonders for you.

Stop buying sugary snack things. Stop drinking full fat pop - have the diet version for now and try to kick them in the end.

Instead of the full English, have something like eggs on toast.

Instead of pre-made gyoza have soy roasted chicken breast and salad with a low fat dressing.

If you want something sweet - try a sorbet, or an ice pop. Get some stevia and use hat instead of sugar.

At 17 stone you can still have snacks and lose weight - but try and have fruit, veg or whole grain carbs instead of chocolate and sweets.

Exactly. OP doesn't need to count calories, she needs to cut out the crap and eat proper food.

What I’ve learned is there’s no quick fix. You could eat within a deficit and only lose 2/3lb a month. That can be disheartening however it took a long time to go on and the weight will take a long time to come off.

Protein. Protein. Protein is your friend. Eggs/chicken/fish/seafood

pair that with your favourite sauces but look for the lower calorie choices

for example I make hunters chicken And it’s all included in my daily macros

Think of the foods you love and look at how to make them all healthier

Buy yourself a lovely outfit in your desired size and promise that you’ll aim to be in it at some point in 2024

Avoid takeaways (chicken kebab if you must but ditch half of the pitta)

cut out the chocolate and cake ( special occasions only)

buy yourself a decent water bottle a drink, drink, drink it allll day long! Not to fill yourself up but to make sure you are well hydrated

it’s a long road but stay on it - go amd google online calorie calculator and that will give you a guide of what you should be eating to lose wright

Also definitely move more where possible. Walk fast and get your heartbeat up

keep us posted if you need any other advice just check in as and when and finally keep us updated on your progress!

it’s took me 3 months to lose 7lb - it’s bloody hard work but I won’t give up because I was fed up of feeling how you described

I’ve gone from 30st to 16st so far and the very very first thing I did which helped me stick to it this time was simply portion control. I ate the m&ms and the crisps and the pasta but I followed the recommended portion size (and have a fuckload of cut up veg in the fridge for grabbing when I “needed” something)

after a couple of weeks of that then I started changing habits and eating much better (I still eat peanut m&ms!) and I used an app for tracking calories (make sure it’s a U.K. version as much easier)

start small and good luck!

I just wanted to say good luck! I actually believe that you can do this and once you get into it, you will succeed. Starting is always the hardest.

I would start by going out and treating yourself to a new outfit of you can afford it at the start of your diet. Or get your hair done etc. I found it useful to start off feeling better about myself right at the start 9f my diet as I felt more motivated then. Motivation doesn't just come along. You have to create it yourself and then it multiplies. Also, Google some motivation tips re mood, activity planning, and how to avoid procrastination. That all helps kick start. If you feel low mood wise, self refer to the NHS online course which is great and has loads of tips.

Also plan for what to do when you go astray/fall off. That will happen, but it's all about not giving up.

WW or SW are good if classes near you. It helps to stay for the meetings. Both are not perfect but a good starting point. Your Dr can give you a voucher for 3 months free.

Well done for seeking some sensible advice. I really do believe that you are going to do this and I can't wait to hear about how you feel a year from now when you've done it!

Also plan for what to do when you go astray/fall off. That will happen, but it's all about not giving up

This is good advice. Just because you've broken one egg you don't need to go on and smash the whole box.

You will be addicted to sugar, all the UHP food is designed to get you hooked.
I was 15 st 8 lb... I lost 4 st by having an eating window, mine is 12-8. In this window I have healthy (as in unprocessed as I can make it) food and a 'treat' glass of wine, dark chocolate, pop corn.
I have a large portion too.
Gradually I have lost my taste for high fat/ sugar foods and see them for what they are. I would rather have a steak or some salmon or similar with a big salad of all sorts of things!
I couple this with walking, min 4,000 steps but often more and bobbing about in the sea.
It fell off to start with and now I maintain at between 11st 5 and 11st 7. I was an 18 now a 14/16 and in some brands a 12!
I think you need to get angry at the crap, addictive cheap food that is in your face everywhere and look forward to your eating window when you treat your body to the nourishment it craves... you'll do it if you really want to, if you have an occasion when food is on offer, eat it, the next day go back to your window.
I had Dahl, garlic naan and tomato salad tonight, fancied something after do I had some weetabix minis!
I will not put weight on this week as that was my entire intake plus tea and coffee and fizzy water with lime juice. Your palate will change I promise, good luck xx

Go to the diebetes Uk website and follow their advice and meal plans.
Stop drinking for three months at least, or stick to nhs safe drinking guidelines.
Don't drink any sugary drinks at all.
Lift weights - get a pt or follow a beginners video YouTube to show you how.
Get your 10,000 steps in.

Consider seeing a counsellor to help with self esteem.

If you do this the weight will drop off! You deserve to live in a healthy body that you feel comfortable moving in.

Fizzy water with Lemon is a great alternative to fizzy drinks or alcohol

Can you recommend some things? I tried this but struggled because basically everything tasty came from a packet! Obviously fruit, veg, meat, pulses, rice etc are a good start but how do you actually go about making a delicious meal out of them without adding at least some processed stuff?

Try exploring Asian, Middle Eastern or Mediterranean cuisines. They don't use processed stuff.

This won’t do anything if you don’t change your habits and reasons for being overweight

Look at the Zoe study or book some sessions with a nutritionist.

I second this. He is brilliant

Seven weeks ago I cut out all crap and slowly reduced my carb intake. I also cut out my daily diet fizzy drink. I’ve lost 8 kilos which I’m really pleased with especially considering I’ve just got back from a cruise.
Its been fascinating to see how bad the daily can of fizzy drink was for my sugar cravings. They have nearly gone now and my appetite has shrunk from the reduction in carbs.

@teaforme33 happy to!

Keep it simple. Things like high quality olive oil, garlic, salt, herbs and spices can really pimp up a meal. It might be that you need to just push through the first week or so without processed food and snacks and trust the process.

My favourite easy to cook/healthy but doesn't feel like diet food meal is:

Salmon fillet or chicken breast, smother with cream cheese or philidelphia, salt and pepper, breadcrumbs and put in a baking tray with a load of cherry tomatoes and some garlic and drizzle with oil. Pop in the oven til cooked (around 15min for salmon, 15 for chicken). Mini potatoes (i buy those microwave bags) or just boil and then smash down flat with a spatula or bottom of a glass, and chuck in the oven at the same time as your chicken or salmon with salt and oil to crisp up. Serve with green veg that can be quickly prepped like peas or brocolli. Bit of parmesan, salt, pepper, oil on the veg if you need it.

We had salmon yesterday (the pre flavoured chilli one) with rice and a salsa (chopped toms/cucumber /corriander/lime juice) and a sliced avocado. Tbf I don't have mental energy to do this this was my husband but it was amazing! And I felt like I'd eaten real food.

This is too expensive for us to do regularly but did think if maybe we had a meal plan and did it once a fortnight we can have some cheaper meals.

I read somewhere wete supposed to have fish once a week and we really don't. I've got some mackerel (peppered one) to have one lunch. It's so expensive but I end up buying very peppery flavours or I don't like it.

I still snacked again in the evening - but it was hummous and breadsticks rather than crisps/chocolate so I'm thinking in terms of steps with my first big hurdle of eating less processed food and snacks.

We also got lots of fruit for the fruit bowl and Greek yoghurt.

Part of my problem is when I get hungry I want instant gratification so if I don't have yoghurt/nuts on hand I go for quick fix of crisps.

I had some nuts and dark choc drops yesterday which was really nice.

So that was day 1.

I've started with toast and marmalade today which probably wasn't "great" but trying to plan healthier snacks and a proper meal for later.

I'm in my 60's and managed to lose a similar amount of weight after years and years of not living because of my weight.
Diets don't work, they never work.
You have to completely change the way you eat and your lifestyle.
bariatric surgery didn't work for me either, I just ate ice cream and chocolate.
There are NO quick fixes.
i get very hungry because I work long hours in the NHS and have to be able to eat when I'm hungry. So any "diet" has to work round that.
I just stopped eating processed food and the weight fell off. Everything that goes into my mouth I have cooked myself. I'm vegetarian but it works just as well for meat eaters.
Keep it simple. No added salt or sugar, pepper and herbs only.
Snacks - fruit, banana or similar, Don't eat between meals unless its fruit.
No sugar, cut it out.
This is the diet we should be eating all of the time, processed food is killing us and causing diabetes and weight gain.
No processed meat - that's sausages, spam, corned beef, only natural meat like chicken which you must cook yourself, no precooked stuff, steak, anything that comes in its natural form.
You will feel full very quickly and with no salt, sugar and minimal fat its not really possible to overeat.
The weight will fall off. Walk for at least 20 minutes a day.
Read this book: Food for Life by Tim Spector.
Watch his videos on youtube. https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=tim+spector
It changed my life.

i love Tim Spector too! His podcasts are available on YouTube and have been a real help.

I’ve kinda done what you are saying here (although not perfect) and have loved getting back to cooking and baking everything myself - it’s so satisfying for me for some reason! I made minestrone soup on sat with the weeks leftover veg, and it was lovely and so economical, the more you get into cooking the more the ingredients seem to guide you into making sensible recipes. I’ve consistently lost weight all year following this approach (slowly and not dramatically, but nicely)

OP please don’t be tempted to starve yourself or go on a mental diet, I’ve had to realise that losing weight will take months, not weeks, find a plan (any plan) that you enjoy and go with it, just go with it for a long time, forgive yourself if you mess up, and carry on , that’s the real key, perseverance. You will find out so much about yourself and you will be greatful to yourself for doing it x