Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

[UnctuousUnicorns]

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

@ToastyCrumpets good on your grandmother! God knows why my Dad was so utterly triggered - maybe he'd got locked in a lavatory or he was scared I'd get locked in. I remember it well as we were out and about on holiday and you needed a 2p for the big old heavy public convenience doors in those days. So old..

There was a great 2 Ronnies variation on the 2 old ladies (sorry - I'm working on my 80s childhood re-education but they were so good at alternative words). And my memory has somehow hung on to this!

Oh dear, what can the matter be
I went to the hairdresser's Saturday,
There we sat, like hens in a battery
While the young men did our hair.

The first one to do me, his name it was Michael
He promised to give me a ride on his cycle,
And much as I'd like a good cycle with Michael
I don't trust his crossbar, so there.

The second one, he was a Welsh lad called Billy
He wanted to show me the hills of Caerphilly
I wouldn't trust Billy beyond Piccadilly
I've no head for climbing up there.

The manager thought that he'd just keep his hand in
He promised to show me his flat on the landing
But when we got there it was nothing outstanding,
In fact, quite a pokey affair.

Oh, dear, I learnt on Saturday
No good responding to flattery
That won't recharge your battery.
I'll do my own bloody hair.

Puff the magic dragon lived by the sea
He had no one to play with so he played with his willy
He got himself a girlfriend but that was not enough
So he got himself a boyfriend and that's why he's called Puff

We had:

I went to a Chinese restaurant to buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread.
He wrapped it up in a five pound note and this is what he said, said, said.
My name is hi lo trickalo
Trickalo hi lo
Hi lo trickalo
Trickalo hi

Clap hands above on "hi", below on"lo" and in the middle on "trick"

In my school it was Charlie had a pigeon. Either that or I misheard budgie - I was certain it was pigeon but now I am doubting it!

All the men from Tadcaster brewery
Lifted their legs and farted like fury

My dad went MENTAL at that one

Maybe because I sang it as he was trying to eat his dinner...

We also chanted:

I must, I must, I must improve my bust
The bigger the better, the tighter the sweater
The boys depend on us!

Whilst standing on the top deck of the double decker school bus looking out the back window and doing the swinging arms type chest exercises. We were ten, had completely flat chests and thought it was hilariously funny.

Not exactly a playground song (though we did sing them there) but I’m not sure which teacher thought it was a good idea to play The Chicken Song and Leap Up And Down (aka the Wave Your Knickers In The Air song) at the Year 4 disco.

one fine day in the middle of the night two dead men got up to fight .
stood back to back and drawed their swords and shot each other.

I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a pot of jam,
The jam is so sticky
It sticks to my dicky,
I'm Popeye the sailor man!

I'm Popeye the sailor man,
I live in a caravan
I like to go swimming
With lovely bare women
I'm Popeye the sailor man!

Yes. "Are you there God, it's me Margaret" by Judy Blume.

A horrible one where we said "Chinese, Japanese " and made our eyes turn up or down. Horribly racist . We would get away with it now and rightly so.

This was 1980s. I like to think we are more enlightened now!

oh and there was "I went to the Chinese restaurant , to buy a loaf of bread...." Who buys bread from a Chinese restaurant ? ??

The Two Ronnies never get old!

Think that second line is:
Back to back they faced each other, Drew their swords and shot each other.

If you go down to the woods today
you better go in disguise
If you go down in the woods today
you'll never believe your eyes

for Mum and dad are having a shag
and uncle Bob is sucking his knob
and auntie Flo is having a go with grandad

@sandinmyshoesagain

I have no idea where we got it from - if it's in the Judy Blume book I'm going to assume someone's sibling must have read it and taught it to us. It was about 1983 so quite likely!

I think it was sung differently at different schools but thats how i sang it .

Eee my gum
Let your belly touch your bum
Let your tits hang low,
Let them wobble to and fro

Nelly Let your belly touch mine!

Chocolates made!

This is number 1 and the fun has just begun
roll me over lay me down and do it again
roll me over. In the clover
roll me over lay me down and do it again

This is number 2 and he taking off my shoe
roll me over etc

This is number 3 and I’m sitting on his knee
This is number 4 and he’s got me on the floor
This is number 5 and he’s taking a dirty dive
This is number 6 and he’s taking down my nicks
This is number 7 and I’m on my way to heaven
This is number 8 and the nurse is at the gate
This is number 9 and the baby’s doing fine
This is number 10 and we’re doing it all again

Sung at primary school!

Shit bugger arsehole
Piss cunt fart
Somebody stole my horse and cart
I don't give a bugger that I can't get another,
Shit bugger arsehole
Piss cunt fart.

Holy Mary I am dying
Just one word before I go
Set (put) on the table
And stick a poker up her/his ..
Holy Mary I am dying etc

insert name of hated , usually public ,person .