Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

[UnctuousUnicorns]

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

@cariadlet
Also sung that version (shine your buttons) - West Midlands in the 70s.

Versions of previous posts we sang in the early/mid-70s (Merseyside):

Ee by gum
Can yer belly touch yer bum
Can yer tits hang low
Can yer tie 'em in a bow?

Ter-ra-ra bum-tee-ay
My knickers flew away
They went on holiday
They came back yesterday

Jesus Christ
Superstar
Wears frilly knickers
And a Playtex bra

😳

Went to a party at the County jail,
Caught my ball on a rusty nail
When I got home I was in for a shock
One ball missing and a paralysed cock
Let's rock!

Georgie Best superstar,
Wears frilly knickers and a Playtex bra.
C 1973

To the tune of "The Sign" by Ace of Base from my 1994 year 5 class

"I saw your mum,
She opened up her legs and said come on,
Life is demanding,
Shagging on the landing.
I saw your mum"

Doesn't this thread show how much childhood has changed?
Kids don't sing random songs now and if they did sing this kind of thing, they would be safeguarding red flags waving everywhere!!!

We had

Yum yum, bubblegum
Stick it up your mother's bum
If it sticks, pull her knicks
Yum yum, bubblegum

That was 1979/80 when bubblegum was really popular.

Georgie Best

I don't remember any of this filth! I must have been really innocent.

There was one kid in our class who sang this song. It's not dirty but I've never heard it before or since. Has anyone ever heard it?

Three wee wives
And three wee wives
And three wee wives make nine
Says this wee wife to that wee wife
“Lend us your washing bine” [tub]
I went to north, I went to south
I went to Ally Pally
But all I could find was my Suzy Annie
I took her to the boat, I sat her down for supper
The boat fell, she fell too, stuck her nose in butter
Oh the butter, it was margarine
Three black eyes and a jelly nose and her face all painted green

God, I've just remembered singing the following at Girl Guides:

Oh, Sir Jasper, do not touch me,
Oh, Sir Jasper, do not touch me,
Oh, Sir Jasper, do not touch me,
As she lay beneath the lily-white sheet with nothing on at all

Then in each subsequent verse you took one word off and adjusted the tone appropriately so it gradually changed:

Oh, Sir Jasper, do not touch me
Oh, Sir Jasper, do not touch
Oh, Sir Jasper, do not
Oh, Sir Jasper, do
Oh, Sir Jasper,
Oh!

So it ended with twenty-odd preteen girls shouting 'Oh!' in faux rapture I can't imagine our prim and proper Leader allowing that, but I swear we sang it on the bus?! And that's before we even get to the consent issues. No means no, Sir Jasper.

There was an old lady from Ealing
Who had a particular feeling
She laid on her back
Opened her crack
And pissed all over the ceiling!

Old king Cole was a merry old soul and a merry old soul was he
He sat on a rock and
Played with his cock
And his balls rolled into the sea!

4 and 20 virgins come down from Inverness,
And when the dance was over there were 4 and 20 less,
Singing balls to your partner, asses against the wall,
If you don't get shagged on a Saturday night you won't get shagged at all.

Our version was almost the same except we said "My friend Billy had a 1 foot willy"

So many that I had totally forgotten before this thread jogged my memory.

Our version was:

A finger of fudge is just enough,
To give a girl a treat.

I remember singing it at junior school and knowing it was rude but not really understanding why.

Glory glory hallelujah,
Teacher hit me with a ruler,
So I hid behind the door with my magnum 44
And she ain't gonna live no more

Really wish that edit worked on the app.

Our version was:
"My friend Billy had a 10 foot willy."

One foot willy wouldn't make any sense!

We used to chant
I must, I must improve my bust,
A bigger size is the prize
For doing this bloody exercise

Anyone remember the Trebor Spearmint advert? We used to sing

Trebor Spearmints are a minty bit stronger.
Stick them up your Arse and they last a bit longer.

This made me chuckle, considering I grew up in ealing and never heard this….😂

Another one I just remembered

Do your balls hang low
Can you swing them to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Do your balls hang low
Can you swing them to and fro
Can you tie them in a knot
Can you tie them in a bow
Can you swing them over your shoulder
Like the red janmejal told ya
Do your balls hang low

To the tune of "Oom pa pa...etc."

(while pointing to the relevant body parts)

Bum, tit, tit
Bum, tit, tit
Play the willy banjo!

Loving the responses to this thread! 😆

I'm pretty sure Hugh Grant sings this in Bridget Jones 😂

@Mindovermatter247 - we used to sing “like a regimental soldier…”

Whenever you see a hearse go by remember you're gonna die, oo ee, oo ee, remember you're gonna die.
They put you in a big black box and seal you in with nuts and bolts..
Last verse is the worms go in the worms go out, the worms go wriggling all about.

Whenever you see a hearse go by
Remember that you're going to die
la la la lalala la la la

They wrap you up in a long white shirt
And cover you in with loads of dirt
la la etc

The worms crawl in and the worms crawl out
And in your belly they wriggle about
la la etc

Your eyes fall in and your teeth fall out
Your brain goes trickling down your snout
la la etc

And

Say what you will, school dinners make you ill
Davy Crockett died of shepherd's pie
All school din dins come from pig bins
That's no lie

Sung to the tune of the tv show Out of Town, if anyone remembers that. The Hitler song is sung to the tune of Colonel Bogey.

I remember 'build a bonfire, build a bonfire' and Georgie Best, superstar.

Oh, and the 'Chinese, Japanese' rhyme continued

Dirty knees (bending down to touch your knees)
What are these? (pulling out the front of your jumper)