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Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

335 replies

UnctuousUnicorns · 02/09/2023 20:12

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

OP posts:
SpellitwithaY · 02/09/2023 21:57

Lol my mum taught me (when I was an adult)

Arsehole arsehole
Our soldiers went to sea
Fuck you, fuck you
For curiosity
To piss to piss
Two pistols on their knees
To fight for their cunt
Fight for their cunt
Fight for their country

You have to say it out loud for it to make sense lol 🤣

ŁadnaPogoda · 02/09/2023 21:59

Clapping game:

I went to a Chinese tea shop
To buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread.
He wrapped it up in a five pound note
And this is what he said, said, said.
My name is Ess Eye, Ess Eye, Chicken Eye, Chicken Eye,
Ompompola, Chinese teacups, Bottle of Whisky,
ABC, 1, 2, 3, Out Of Space!

willingtolearn · 02/09/2023 22:02

@scrivette

We sang

I'm a little bumper car, number 48
I whizzed round the corner (at this point you jumped out of the double rope and ran round and jumped back in)
and slammed on the brakes.
Policeman caught me, put me into jail
How many years did I stay there
10,20,30...... (you kept skipping as the numbers went up)

Interested in this thread?

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Danielle9891 · 02/09/2023 22:02

We are the Geordie girls,
We wear our hair in curls.
We wear dungarees,
Up to our sexy knees.
There was this guy next door,
Who got me on the floor.
We did it 20 times,
Then he asked for more.

9 months later.
My belly went pop
Out came a baby
With a s cock
You think that's all
No that's not all
The dirt, little b only had one ball.

We were in year 4 - 5 and the whole school was singing it. 🤮 It's terrible and that was way before the internet and Facebook.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/09/2023 22:02

I remember this one, but we said it a bit differently.

https://clickamericana.com/topics/culture-and-lifestyle/say-say-oh-playmate-what-we-know-about-this-old-song-and-hand-clapping-game-plus-the-lyrics

we said "slide down my rainbow and through the cellar door"
we said/sang it as a clapping game going faster and faster until we nessed up the clapping.... then started again. ☺️

the alternate version substituted "enemy" for "friend"; "fight" for "play"; "razor blade" for "rainbow" and "dungeon" for "cellar".
Say, say oh enemy
come out and fight with me
and bring your ??? three (google didn't help)
slide down the razor blade
into the dungeon door
And we'll be enemies
for ever more, more
, more, more more
🤷‍♀️

Remember Say Say Oh Playmate - at Click Americana

Say, Say, Oh Playmate: We traced the story of this old song & hand clapping game, and have the lyrics - Click Americana

Millions know 'Say, Say, Oh Playmate' - also known as 'Playmate' - but few today know much about the rhyming song & hand clapping game. FInd out more here!

https://clickamericana.com/topics/culture-and-lifestyle/say-say-oh-playmate-what-we-know-about-this-old-song-and-hand-clapping-game-plus-the-lyrics

InvisibleDuck · 02/09/2023 22:03

Not necessarily a rude rhyme, but this video is great!

Version I heard:
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
The Batmobile lost its wheel on the M6 motorway!

I Asked 64,182 People About “Jingle Bells, Batman Smells”. Here's What I Found Out.

Thanks to Jack from Jacksfilms on piano: https://youtube.com/jacksfilms • And thanks to everyone who answered! Sources and a data download are in the descrip...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V5u9JSnAAU4

UnctuousUnicorns · 02/09/2023 22:04

AlphaAlpha · 02/09/2023 21:41

Pardon me for being so rude,
It was not me, it was my food,
it just popped up to say hello,
and now it's gone back down below <blows raspberry>

That was after belching, surely? My older brother recited it back in the day. 😅

OP posts:
Tilllly · 02/09/2023 22:04

Fart, fart, it's good for the heart
It gives the bowels some ease
It warms the bed on a frosty night
And suffocates all the fleas

Mums WI group weren't impressed....

ŁadnaPogoda · 02/09/2023 22:08

@InvisibleDuck yes!

Where have you been all day
Henry my son?
Where have you been all day
My beloved one?

Woods, dear mother,
Woods dear mother,
Oh mother come quick
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die

What did you do there
Henry my son
What did you do there
My beloved one?

Ate, dear mother,
Ate, dear mother.
Oh mother come quick I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

What did you eat there,
Henry my son?
What did you eat there,
My beloved one?

Worms, dear mother,
Worms, dear mother.
Oh mother come quick,
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

What colour were the worms,
Henry, my son?
What colour were the worms,
My beloved one?

Green and yellow!
Green and yellow!
Oh mother come quick,
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

They weren’t worms
Henry my son
They were snakes
My beloved one.

Green and yellow!
Green and yellow!
Oh mother come quick
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die!

FraterculaArctica · 02/09/2023 22:08

Haven't seen the "never get to heaven" song mentioned yet.

Oh you'll never get to heaven (you'll never get to heaven)
In a baked bean tin
Cos a baked bean tin's
Got baked beans in
Oh you'll never get to heaven in a baked bean tin cos a baked bean tin 's got baked beans in
I ain't gonna grieve
My Lord no mo- ore -ore
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord
I ain't gonna grieve
My Lord no more!

Then repeat, substitute lines 2-4 with anything else you can think of. Especially "you'll never get to heaven in Helen's bra cos Helen's bra won't stretch that far"🤔

Early secondary, c. 1990.

RandomID · 02/09/2023 22:10

Willy had a goldfish
A goldfish, a goldfish
Willy had a goldfish
A goldfish he had

It swam in the morning
It swam through the night
It swam up the bathtub and bit off his

Willy had a goldfish
A goldfish, a goldfish…

TicTacNicNak · 02/09/2023 22:10

UnctuousUnicorns · 02/09/2023 22:04

That was after belching, surely? My older brother recited it back in the day. 😅

The other one was...

Pardon me for burping
It bounced right off my heart
If it had come out the other way
It would have been a fart.

ToastyCrumpets · 02/09/2023 22:11

@FraterculaArctica Oh, I remember that one!

We had “you’ll never get to heaven in a jumbo jet / ‘cause the Lord ain’t built no runway yet” and “you’ll never get to heaven In a Wonderbra / because a Wonderbra won’t stretch that far”

And also the chorus: I ain’t gonna smoke or drink or swear / I ain’t gonna pull my sister’s hair / I ain’t gonna griiiiieeeeeeve my Lord no more

SprinkleOfSunak · 02/09/2023 22:11

Ully ully ully
tits in the trolley
balls in the biscuit tin
sitting on the grass with a finger up your arse
playing with your ding-a-ling-ling

MrsPepperp0t · 02/09/2023 22:11

FraterculaArctica · 02/09/2023 22:08

Haven't seen the "never get to heaven" song mentioned yet.

Oh you'll never get to heaven (you'll never get to heaven)
In a baked bean tin
Cos a baked bean tin's
Got baked beans in
Oh you'll never get to heaven in a baked bean tin cos a baked bean tin 's got baked beans in
I ain't gonna grieve
My Lord no mo- ore -ore
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord
I ain't gonna grieve
My Lord no more!

Then repeat, substitute lines 2-4 with anything else you can think of. Especially "you'll never get to heaven in Helen's bra cos Helen's bra won't stretch that far"🤔

Early secondary, c. 1990.

Omg we sang that at Brownies too! With "in Brown Owl's bra" 😳😂

I'd totally forgotten that.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 02/09/2023 22:12

And:

Diarrhoea
pfft pfft*
Diarrhoea
pfft pfft
Some think it's funny
but, it's really
hot and runny
Diarrhoea
pfft pfft
Diarrhoea

*you're meant to make a gross farting poo sound twice
😝

The joys of childhood....

greengreengrass25 · 02/09/2023 22:12

Brilliant and

Green and Yellow

Brownie songs were fab

Tellerium · 02/09/2023 22:13

Toucanfusingforme · 02/09/2023 20:55

Ours was worse.
”I’m Popeye the sailor man etc”
”I sits on me granny and tickles her fanny, I’m Popeye the Sailor man.”
Sung as young kids. We hadn’t a clue…….🤣

Howling at this! Makes our version very tame:

He's Popeye the sailor man
He lives in a caravan
He went to the pictures and pulled down his britches
Popeye the sailor man!

Unfortunately we have an ice cream van near us that plays the Popeye tune and that's all I can think when I hear it.

greengreengrass25 · 02/09/2023 22:13

ŁadnaPogoda · 02/09/2023 22:08

@InvisibleDuck yes!

Where have you been all day
Henry my son?
Where have you been all day
My beloved one?

Woods, dear mother,
Woods dear mother,
Oh mother come quick
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die

What did you do there
Henry my son
What did you do there
My beloved one?

Ate, dear mother,
Ate, dear mother.
Oh mother come quick I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

What did you eat there,
Henry my son?
What did you eat there,
My beloved one?

Worms, dear mother,
Worms, dear mother.
Oh mother come quick,
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

What colour were the worms,
Henry, my son?
What colour were the worms,
My beloved one?

Green and yellow!
Green and yellow!
Oh mother come quick,
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

They weren’t worms
Henry my son
They were snakes
My beloved one.

Green and yellow!
Green and yellow!
Oh mother come quick
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die!

Ahh yes that's the one

CaptainCallisto · 02/09/2023 22:14

BloodandGlitter · 02/09/2023 21:38

On Top of a mountain all covered in snow,
I shot my poor teacher with arrow and bow,
I shot her for pleasure,
I shot her for pride,
How could I miss her,
She's forty feet wide.

We sang a version of this:

On top of Mount Everest,
All covered with snow,
I shot my poor teacher,
With a giant crossbow.

I shot her with pleasure,
I shot her with pride,
I couldn't have missed her,
She's 50 foot wide.

I went to the funeral,
I trod on her grave,
Some people threw flowers,
I lobbed a grenade,

But it wasn't over,
She wasn't quite dead,
So I got my bazooka,
And blew off her head.

DueyCheatemAndHow · 02/09/2023 22:14

My boyfriend gave me an apple
My boyfriend gave me a pear
My boyfriend gave me a kiss on the lips
And threw me down the stairs

I gave him back his apple
I gave him back his pear
I gave him back his kiss on the lips
And threw him down the stairs

I mean wtf is that about?!

Figment1982 · 02/09/2023 22:15

InvisibleDuck · 02/09/2023 22:03

Not necessarily a rude rhyme, but this video is great!

Version I heard:
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
The Batmobile lost its wheel on the M6 motorway!

I love that Tom Scott video (although after the way he treated Jill Bearup he is now simply known as 'The Misogynist' in this house).

My version of the song was 'M1 motorway'.. I do find the different versions of the song fascinating!

Ormally · 02/09/2023 22:17

A variation - must be from 40s-50s as my mother with a too-good memory used to recite it (!)
Not last night, but the night before
Two tom cats came knocking at my door
Went downstairs to let them in
And they hit me on the head with a rolling pin.
The rolling pin was made of glass
I fell down and cut my
ARS' no questions, tell no lies,
I saw a billy goat doing up his
FLIES are a nuisance, wasps are worse
That's the end of my little verse.

InvisibleDuck · 02/09/2023 22:17

@ŁadnaPogoda That's it! Thank you! Ours was definitely a slight variation on that. It's one of those things I thought of very occasionally and wondered about. Mystery solved!

Thedishonthecoffeetable · 02/09/2023 22:18

TiredMotherMum · 02/09/2023 21:32

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire,
Put the teachers on the top,
Put the prefects around the middle
And burn the fucking lot!

I was waiting to see if anyone said this. Sung to the tune of oh my darling clementine

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