Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

[UnctuousUnicorns]

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

Lol my mum taught me (when I was an adult)

Arsehole arsehole
Our soldiers went to sea
Fuck you, fuck you
For curiosity
To piss to piss
Two pistols on their knees
To fight for their cunt
Fight for their cunt
Fight for their country

You have to say it out loud for it to make sense lol 🤣

Clapping game:

I went to a Chinese tea shop
To buy a loaf of bread, bread, bread.
He wrapped it up in a five pound note
And this is what he said, said, said.
My name is Ess Eye, Ess Eye, Chicken Eye, Chicken Eye,
Ompompola, Chinese teacups, Bottle of Whisky,
ABC, 1, 2, 3, Out Of Space!

@scrivette

We sang

I'm a little bumper car, number 48
I whizzed round the corner (at this point you jumped out of the double rope and ran round and jumped back in)
and slammed on the brakes.
Policeman caught me, put me into jail
How many years did I stay there
10,20,30...... (you kept skipping as the numbers went up)

We are the Geordie girls,
We wear our hair in curls.
We wear dungarees,
Up to our sexy knees.
There was this guy next door,
Who got me on the floor.
We did it 20 times,
Then he asked for more.

9 months later.
My belly went pop
Out came a baby
With a s cock
You think that's all
No that's not all
The dirt, little b only had one ball.

We were in year 4 - 5 and the whole school was singing it. 🤮 It's terrible and that was way before the internet and Facebook.

I remember this one, but we said it a bit differently.

https://clickamericana.com/topics/culture-and-lifestyle/say-say-oh-playmate-what-we-know-about-this-old-song-and-hand-clapping-game-plus-the-lyrics

we said "slide down my rainbow and through the cellar door"
we said/sang it as a clapping game going faster and faster until we nessed up the clapping.... then started again. ☺️

the alternate version substituted "enemy" for "friend"; "fight" for "play"; "razor blade" for "rainbow" and "dungeon" for "cellar".
Say, say oh enemy
come out and fight with me
and bring your ??? three (google didn't help)
slide down the razor blade
into the dungeon door
And we'll be enemies
for ever more, more
, more, more more
🤷‍♀️

Not necessarily a rude rhyme, but this video is great!

Version I heard:
Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away
The Batmobile lost its wheel on the M6 motorway!

That was after belching, surely? My older brother recited it back in the day. 😅

Fart, fart, it's good for the heart
It gives the bowels some ease
It warms the bed on a frosty night
And suffocates all the fleas

Mums WI group weren't impressed....

@InvisibleDuck yes!

Where have you been all day
Henry my son?
Where have you been all day
My beloved one?

Woods, dear mother,
Woods dear mother,
Oh mother come quick
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die

What did you do there
Henry my son
What did you do there
My beloved one?

Ate, dear mother,
Ate, dear mother.
Oh mother come quick I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

What did you eat there,
Henry my son?
What did you eat there,
My beloved one?

Worms, dear mother,
Worms, dear mother.
Oh mother come quick,
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

What colour were the worms,
Henry, my son?
What colour were the worms,
My beloved one?

Green and yellow!
Green and yellow!
Oh mother come quick,
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die.

They weren’t worms
Henry my son
They were snakes
My beloved one.

Green and yellow!
Green and yellow!
Oh mother come quick
I feel so sick
And lay me down to die!

Haven't seen the "never get to heaven" song mentioned yet.

Oh you'll never get to heaven (you'll never get to heaven)
In a baked bean tin
Cos a baked bean tin's
Got baked beans in
Oh you'll never get to heaven in a baked bean tin cos a baked bean tin 's got baked beans in
I ain't gonna grieve
My Lord no mo- ore -ore
I ain't gonna grieve my Lord
I ain't gonna grieve
My Lord no more!

Then repeat, substitute lines 2-4 with anything else you can think of. Especially "you'll never get to heaven in Helen's bra cos Helen's bra won't stretch that far"🤔

Early secondary, c. 1990.

Willy had a goldfish
A goldfish, a goldfish
Willy had a goldfish
A goldfish he had

It swam in the morning
It swam through the night
It swam up the bathtub and bit off his

Willy had a goldfish
A goldfish, a goldfish…

The other one was...

Pardon me for burping
It bounced right off my heart
If it had come out the other way
It would have been a fart.

@FraterculaArctica Oh, I remember that one!

We had “you’ll never get to heaven in a jumbo jet / ‘cause the Lord ain’t built no runway yet” and “you’ll never get to heaven In a Wonderbra / because a Wonderbra won’t stretch that far”

And also the chorus: I ain’t gonna smoke or drink or swear / I ain’t gonna pull my sister’s hair / I ain’t gonna griiiiieeeeeeve my Lord no more

Ully ully ully
tits in the trolley
balls in the biscuit tin
sitting on the grass with a finger up your arse
playing with your ding-a-ling-ling

Omg we sang that at Brownies too! With "in Brown Owl's bra" 😳😂

I'd totally forgotten that.

And:

Diarrhoea
pfft pfft*
Diarrhoea
pfft pfft
Some think it's funny
but, it's really
hot and runny
Diarrhoea
pfft pfft
Diarrhoea

*you're meant to make a gross farting poo sound twice
😝

The joys of childhood....

Brilliant and

Green and Yellow

Brownie songs were fab

Howling at this! Makes our version very tame:

He's Popeye the sailor man
He lives in a caravan
He went to the pictures and pulled down his britches
Popeye the sailor man!

Unfortunately we have an ice cream van near us that plays the Popeye tune and that's all I can think when I hear it.

Ahh yes that's the one

We sang a version of this:

On top of Mount Everest,
All covered with snow,
I shot my poor teacher,
With a giant crossbow.

I shot her with pleasure,
I shot her with pride,
I couldn't have missed her,
She's 50 foot wide.

I went to the funeral,
I trod on her grave,
Some people threw flowers,
I lobbed a grenade,

But it wasn't over,
She wasn't quite dead,
So I got my bazooka,
And blew off her head.

My boyfriend gave me an apple
My boyfriend gave me a pear
My boyfriend gave me a kiss on the lips
And threw me down the stairs

I gave him back his apple
I gave him back his pear
I gave him back his kiss on the lips
And threw him down the stairs

I mean wtf is that about?!

I love that Tom Scott video (although after the way he treated Jill Bearup he is now simply known as 'The Misogynist' in this house).

My version of the song was 'M1 motorway'.. I do find the different versions of the song fascinating!

A variation - must be from 40s-50s as my mother with a too-good memory used to recite it (!)
Not last night, but the night before
Two tom cats came knocking at my door
Went downstairs to let them in
And they hit me on the head with a rolling pin.
The rolling pin was made of glass
I fell down and cut my
ARS' no questions, tell no lies,
I saw a billy goat doing up his
FLIES are a nuisance, wasps are worse
That's the end of my little verse.

@ŁadnaPogoda That's it! Thank you! Ours was definitely a slight variation on that. It's one of those things I thought of very occasionally and wondered about. Mystery solved!

I was waiting to see if anyone said this. Sung to the tune of oh my darling clementine