Disgusting rhymes you sang in the school play ground or yard (primary or secondary)

[UnctuousUnicorns]

We sang (in primary (mid 70s to early 80s):

Yellow belly custard
Green snot pie
All mixed together with a dead dog's eye.
Slap it on a butty,
Nice and thick,
Wash it all down with a cup of cold sick.

Utterly minging, I know. 🤮 We were such foul wee buggers. 😅

Were there any other horrors doing the rounds at your school(s)? No mean/nasty stuff please. 🙂

I'm not the pheasant plucker
I'm the pheasant plucker's son
And I'm only plucking pheasants
Til the pheasant plucker comes.

Yes! I remember doing a clapping song to these words too!! 😂
So many of these I remember singing at Brownies/school etc!

I remember the pig swill bins in the dining room, that we scraped leftovers into!

"Down at Fraggle Rock,
Grab a fraggle by his cock,
Throw him in the air,
Catch him by his public hair,
Chuck him on the grass,
Put a chainsaw up his arse,
Turn the power on, vroom, vroom
Now the bustard's gone"
😬😮😂

We had baby Suzy saying “wah, wah”, child Suzy saying “Miss, Miss, I can’t do this! I’ve got my knickers in a dreadful twist”, and teenage Suzy saying “ooh! Ah! I’ve lost my bra! I left my knickers in my boyfriends car!”

We had a different version of this one too:

We are the tiger girls
We wear our frocks and curls
It costs you 50p
to have it off with me
Da da da dum di day
How did I get this way?
it was the boy next door
he got me on the floor
My mother was surprised
To see my belly rise
My father jumped for joy
it was a baby boy

We sang this in brownies, aged 8. God knows what Brown Owl was thinking. We also sang the Flannel Nightie song, milk milk lemonade, and “oh you’ll never get to heaven, on a bottle of gin. Cause god in heaven, don’t let spirits in”. Oh, and “Found a peanut”.

I want my hole, I want my hole,I want my holidays
To see the cunt, to see the cunt, to see the countryside
Fuck you, fuck you, for curiosity
I want my hole etc

My mum sang this one in the 50s (they used to sing the alternative words in assembly etc, when there were too many of them singing for the teachers to tell who it was). Bit more innocent, but still impressive to sneak discussion of suicide methods into a Carol concert.

Hark the Herald Angels sing
Beechams pills are a very good thing
Some are meek and some are mild
One for an adult, Two for a child
if you wish to go to heaven
you should take at least eleven
If you wish to go to hell
you should eat the box as well
hark the herald angels sing
Beechams pills are a very good thing

This one's not rude, but we used to sing

We four Beatles of Liverpool are
John in a taxi, Paul in a car
George on a scooter tooting the hooter
following Ringo Starr

"Eeny meany macaraca,
Dare di domeraca,
Chicken packa,
Lolly poppa,
Om pom push,
Macdonalds, Macdonalds,
Kentucky fried chicken
And a Pizza Hut,
Macdonalds, Macdonalds,
Kentucky fried chicken,
And a Pizza Hut"

Autocorrect has cleaned this little song up a little 😆
Should be pubic hair
And
Bastard

We used to sing it to the Fraggle Rock theme tune.

We did that went right from being a baby to old age to being a skeleton!

Same . 80's northerner

Similar but we said

I went to a Chinese takeaway to buy a loaf of bread bread bread
He wrapped it up in a five pound note and this is what he said said said
My name is Elvis Presley, girls are sexy
Sitting in the back seat drinking Pepsi
If you drink Pepsi you are sexy. If you drink coke you will smoke
Umpah umpah stick it up your jumper

OMG we sang so many of these!! We also used to sing, at aged 9/10

Walking down Canal street knocking on every door
God damn son of a bitch I couldn't find a whore
Finally found a whore she was tall and thin
God damn son of a bitch I couldn't get it in
Finally got it in wiggled it about
God damn son of a bitch I couldn't get it out
Finally got it out it was red and sore
Moral of the story is to never fuck a whore

I just remembered a Popeye one:
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man;
Popeye the Sailor Man
I love to go swimmin'
with bare-naked women,
I'm Popeye the Sailor Man.

Not nearly as dirty as some ditties on here!

My Bonnie lay over the gas tank
the height of its contents to see
she lighted a match to assist her
oh bring back my Bonnie to me

Down in Fraggle Rock
Grab a Fraggle by its cock
Swing it round your head
Now it's fucking dead
Put it in a pit
Bury it in piles of shit

Our last lines after "I feel sick" was...

Get a bowl quick
Too late
Done it on the plate.

Much more appropriate for the dinner queue 😂

We were 12 or 13, on a school coach coming back from Wembley and were singing a range of rude songs. Driver drew the bus into the kerb and refused to carry on driving until we stopped singing 😂. Struggling to remember how they were so offensive now

For some reason we had "Mr Silly lost his willy on the motorway."

We three kings of orient are
One in a taxi, one in a car
The one on a scooter bibbing his hooter
Didn't get very far

love these and can remember lots of them! Not sure we’ve had these two:

Nobody likes me, everybody hates me
I think I’ll eat some wo-or-orms (hard to recreate - you had to say worms but draw it out with the pitch going up in the middle)
Short fat hairy ones
Looooong thin slimy ones
Itsy-bitsy-witsy-witsy wo-or-orms
Itsy-bitsy-witsy-witsy-worms

and
(Holding hands together)
I’ve got a baby bumblebee,
wont my mummy be surprised at me?
I’ve got a baby bumblebee….
ow! It’s stung me!

(squishing hand gestures)

I’m squishing up my baby bumblebee,
Won’t my mummy be surprised at me?
I’m squishing up my baby bumblebee…
eeew! What a mess!

this then went through licking up and sicking up the bee, lovely.

We three kings of Manchester square
Selling knickers, tuppence a pair
They’re fantastic, no elastic
Buy your Granny a pair.

We had in Brownies

Do your ears hang low

Perhaps it was updated

Like a regimental soldier