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Original poster

That World Cup kiss

331 replies

mids2019 · 26/08/2023 08:03

The news about the world cup is being dominated by an unsolicited kiss on the lips on a Spanish player. I do not want to condone the rather bizarre and overly personal celebration of the head of Spanish football (idiot) but I do feel the whole matter has drawn focus away from the football on the pitch and made the hugely successful world cup a feminist issue where discussions are now revolving around appropriate behaviour between men and women rather than the actual sport.

Young girl players instead of looking up to the heroic exploits of our players are now getting drawn into much more general discussions about personal limits and what constitutes assault. I think this is all a pity really.

OP posts:
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6
1037370E · 26/08/2023 10:31

Even a 'peck on the mouth' that you didn't want, expect or invite, is unacceptable. I disagree OP. The incident itself should never have happened. Complaining about the fact that women are complaining about it, feels a bit like saying 'know your place'. You have been allowed to play football, you've won the World Cup, stop moaning about a little kiss. It hasn't taken the spotlight away from football, it has shone a light on what continues to happen to women and girls, regardless of who/where they are. A woman in a public arena, while the whole world is watching, and he still felt comfortable enough to do that.

ilovesooty · 26/08/2023 10:35

BIWI · 26/08/2023 10:12

Why is it that so many women - I'm assuming that you're also a woman @Maddy70 - are prepared to defend the inappropriate actions of men?

Regardless of whether or not you think it's a feminist issue, can you not see that it's unacceptable?

Edited

Agreed. It's depressing.

natura · 26/08/2023 10:36

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:07

Also, it's different here (I live in Spain)
We greet people we barely know with a kiss on the cheek abd give a hug It's really common to greet people we do know with a kiss on the mouth.

This has been blown out of proportion and is making it a feminist agenda , taking away the glory of the winning team.

What absolute nonsense.

Where in Spain exactly are you where grabbing a woman by the head and forcibly kissing her in front of millions of people is 'really common'?

In 15 years living here I've never seen anything like it.

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newnamethanks · 26/08/2023 10:36

I expect she was wearing provocative clothing and him, a man with those ungovernable urges we hear so much about, was unable to contain himself. Was that bare legs I saw? Well then.

WeaselCheeks · 26/08/2023 10:37

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:11

I can't no. Excitement? Maybe he knew her better?

Show quote history

But evidently didn't know her well enough to realise that she wouldn't consent to having a kiss forced onto her whilst he grabbed her head. Is there any footage of him doing the same to male players?

It's fucking awful, and it's absolutely correct that she should be celebrating her team's victory, not being at the forefront of a discussion about sexual harassment. But that's not her fault, nor the fault of the media - it's the fault of the man who assaulted her, and the fault of those that prefer to protect the perv by throwing their sporting hero under a bus.

Zonder · 26/08/2023 10:37

This reply has been deleted

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NotMadeOfStone · 26/08/2023 10:39

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:07

Also, it's different here (I live in Spain)
We greet people we barely know with a kiss on the cheek abd give a hug It's really common to greet people we do know with a kiss on the mouth.

This has been blown out of proportion and is making it a feminist agenda , taking away the glory of the winning team.

SHE SAID SHE DIDN'T CONSENT.

That's literally all you need to know.

43ontherocksporfavor · 26/08/2023 10:40

And she said she didn’t like it! Has he apologised at all?

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:41

This reply has been deleted

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I've lived here for many years. Kissing on the lips between some is very common . I see and experience it frequently Yes it may vary regionally, lots of things do.

I just think this is a massive distraction and taking away their achievements

natura · 26/08/2023 10:42

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:41

I've lived here for many years. Kissing on the lips between some is very common . I see and experience it frequently Yes it may vary regionally, lots of things do.

I just think this is a massive distraction and taking away their achievements

Show quote history

You're absolutely right, it is taking away their achievements and distracting from what they should be celebrating.

And that's HIS fault, not theirs.

Rainbowshit · 26/08/2023 10:44

I thought at the time when I was watching it that he was way over the top with his greeting each player and wondered if the women were ok with it.

It seems not. Good for them speaking up.

It sounds like behind the scenes at Spanish football is toxic. I'm glad they have used their platform to try and change that.

Zonder · 26/08/2023 10:47

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:41

I've lived here for many years. Kissing on the lips between some is very common . I see and experience it frequently Yes it may vary regionally, lots of things do.

I just think this is a massive distraction and taking away their achievements

Show quote history

Are you saying that the Spanish lady who posted is wrong then? I've not had the same experience as you in Spain and googling would also support the Spanish poster over you. Perhaps you have some odd friends who take the mickey!

And are you also saying that it doesn't matter if the woman doesn't want it?

7eleven · 26/08/2023 10:49

Anotherchristianmama · 26/08/2023 08:46

It's an incredibly important discussion. Very few of our daughters will end up as professional sportswomen. All of our daughters will have men pushing and trampling on their boundaries.

Excellent point. I couldn’t disagree more with the OP.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 10:53

mids2019 · 26/08/2023 09:38

@DontGetEvenGetEverything

well articulated. I certainly didn't want to trivialize important issues but only wanted to highlight the point that women s football benefits from a focus on the sport rather than necessarily being used as a platform to highlight societal problems (which are important!)

It's tricky to separate the two in this though isn't it? I mean the non consensual kiss from what looks like a high profile serial misogynist took place during such an incredible sporting moment for women.

IClaudine · 26/08/2023 10:54

Google tells me:

Osculum: kiss on the cheek, a typical gesture between friends.
Basium: is the kiss on the lips, which is for the husband or wife.
Suavem: it is the kiss between lovers.

No word for kissing the lips of "people you know well".

ETA: obviously it is Google and might not be correct, but still...

SilkenPilken · 26/08/2023 10:56

So many people here who seem to think that because he’s Spanish it’s somehow ok - Latin blood, different culture. Ridiculous.

Jenni Hermosa and the rest of the team are also Spanish. They don’t think it’s ok. The amount of excuses made for men who behave badly is truly unbelievable.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 10:57

mids2019 · 26/08/2023 09:56

@IMustDoMoreExercise

At a juniour level there is a great deal of effort to treat boys and girls the same and feminism per se is avoided as a subject. I think ideally the focus on the sport should come first but if there are obvious transgressions then certainly they should be dealt with appropraitely.

I think the question here is whether the world cup will now be remembered for sexual assaults and misbehaviour or the spectacle itself. The kiss is now the dominant narrative and is it the case now that there has to be some deep soul searching about the sport itself before we can continue to grow women s football and attract new talent?

Absolutely.

Entitled men like the one who did this should do some serious soul searching and examine their behaviour.

BreastedBoobilyToTheStairs · 26/08/2023 10:58

I just think this is a massive distraction and taking away their achievements

Victims speaking up about being assaulted takes nothing away from their achievements. At all. Ever.

If anything, it says more about their achievements - they succeeded despite being surrounded by a toxic, male dominated culture. The players are an inspiration. He is a vile toad.

Janiie · 26/08/2023 10:58

He should've just apologised profusely from the off, say he got carried away in the jubilation. Which is no excuse but better than trying to wriggle out of it.

The forceful kiss was awful as was that vice like head hold. Honestly, is he stupid?!

girlswillbegirls · 26/08/2023 10:59

Spanish poster here.
Totally unacceptable and embarrassing for her. Deeply embarrassing for our country too. The Spanish female football team should be celebrating their achievement as they deserve and not being subject to this shit.

What a poor display of male arrogance. Rubiales is an example of an arrogant pig with way too much power. He needs to go. Our country is asking him to resign. He needs to resign asap and FIFA needs to make it happen.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 11:00

IClaudine · 26/08/2023 10:15

I hope the Spanish FA do sue. I am sure that will bring all sorts of murk to light. I will happily donate to a crowd funder if Hermanos needs money.

Quite I think many of us will happily contribute.

7eleven · 26/08/2023 11:02

Let’s hope more male Spanish players join the protest. Hats off to the one who already has.

DuncinToffee · 26/08/2023 11:04

Maddy70 · 26/08/2023 10:41

I've lived here for many years. Kissing on the lips between some is very common . I see and experience it frequently Yes it may vary regionally, lots of things do.

I just think this is a massive distraction and taking away their achievements

Show quote history

Jenni Hermoso disagrees

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 26/08/2023 11:04

saffronsoup · 26/08/2023 10:27

It is interesting to read the different perspectives. Some seem to think it was inappropriate because of the sex of each party. That because he was a man and she was a woman, this is inappropriate. That it wouldn't be in any other combination of sexes but that this combination makes it inappropriate. There seems to be a lot of emphasis on him being male and her being female in some posts. More so than seeing the action itself as inappropriate (regardless of the sexes involved)

Any unwanted sexual attention is wrong and should be called out. I've not watched your video yet but again if it's non consensual it's wrong

End of

The fact authorities are doubling down and calling her a liar adds even more unpleasant optics and speaks volumes about the lengths those in senior influential positions will go to protect the rights of predators to abuse their power.