Things you don't want in a holiday let ...

[LindorDoubleChoc]

I'll start.

Decorative cushions on the beds! Absolutely no thank you. They're quite irritating on the sofas ... but on the beds! Just why?

Another one - quite specific to where I'm staying now - unwashed cooker hood filters. They make the whole kitchen smell of dirty ovens.

Also ... it's nice if all the mirrors and the glass shower screen are done properly.

Will never happen but I'd love to rent somewhere that has a strictly gluten free policy. I'd be able to use the toaster and not have to line the grill and oven trays with foil! I could use any wooden chopping boards and not have to wash up on arrival to make sure the plates and cups are clean. On a more mundane level give me decent sized glasses. Proper pop glasses not wine sized ones which I won't really use. Other than that as long as it's clean and I can afford it I'm in!

😂😂

Those awful signs on the wall that say things like "Live Laugh Love" or "This is my Happy Place". So naff.

We also always book two bedroom places as DH is a light sleeper and I’m a heavy breather/snorer so he needs somewhere to decamp to if necessary. If it has two bedrooms we are totally within our rights to use both.

Basically any knick knacks or clutter... Stresses me out having to move them out of the way to stop them being broken and then move them all back when we go.

A massive picture on the dining room wall. Of a monkey in a kaftan, stirring a cauldron, looking at the viewer with a truly evil expression on its face. We had to take it down and turn it around, then rehang it at the end of our trip!

Hot tub. Revolting things.

Bathrooms with nowhere to put your toiletries - like the one we’re in now. Lovely bathroom, but..,

Showers with sleek and beautiful controls, but nothing to say which is the volume one, which is the H/C, and which way to turn it! All v well once you’re familiar, but a waste of water/electricity/temper while you first work it out!

And whoever mentioned a couple using 2 bedrooms, we nearly always now do, because I don’t sleep well any more, up and down a lot and disturbing dh.

I've not done a self-catering holiday for a very long time but I think mine would be:

anywhere that allows dogs (most do, and those that don't, it's usually because they have pets of their own)

any sort of artificial air freshener - I can open the windows

rubbish towels - I like the big bath sheets that I can wrap around myself

rubbish shower

I would also expect hosts to adjust their offering depending on who's staying - if you arrive by air, you can't bring much, so please have a welcome pack and provide loo roll, washing powder, dishwasher tablets etc. I think it's tight not to provide that generally but if you arrive by car you can bring a lot more.

Also agree with the detailed instructions with lots of capital letters and underlinings. We get enough of that from schools and GP surgeries.

Hosts operate a business, make a lot of money out of it, so don't be so precious.

Our current one they must have a love of a Dymo label maker. Labels are everywhere. It just makes me smile

Cuddly toys/teddies

Dust.
Dried flowers or pot pourri.
Bad art. I'd rather see enlarged photos of the area if you have to have a picture on the wall.
Wooden toilet seat.
Nick nacks.

Well, this was a bnb, but a proper toilet and bathroom, not a converted bit of the upstairs with one of those shit muncher toilets, which we weren’t allowed to use after 10 because of the noise. Had to traipse down and use the house bathroom. No thanks. And yes lovely local organic toiletries are super, but I’d rather have a sparkling clean shower curtain and a cubicle I can turn around in.
And if you advertise as dog friendly with a secure field can you mention that it opens on to a rat run and hasn’t got a gate?

Cheap polyester bedding, thin pillows and cheap mattress.
Faded, scratchy towels.
Ridiculously complex bin/recycling instructions.
Strictly rationed hot water.
Mismatched crockery/cutlery.
Weakly trickling showers.
Squeaky, brown pleather sofas.
Very dusty skirting boards.

Just back from a self catering holiday where I foolishly let DH book the accommodation. Words were had.

Expensive items. Had to replace a mirror in a recent Airbnb after DD had an accident - it was 140 euros!!

Absolutely. Proper blackout should be a legal requirement. Even worse are skylights in the bedroom with no blind. If I wanted to be awoken by the first rays of the sun, I'd go camping.

Bed bugs!

Hosts who insist on giving you a guided tour, explaining all the facilities in detail, then hanging around for a chat when you have spent four hours in your car and all you want to do is make a cup of tea and unpack. Give me a key safe and printed instructions any day.

Homebaked loaves/cakes/biscuits and homemade jams. If I want any of that stuff I can buy it in the village shop. Just leave me some basic teabags and charge less.

Curtains that work! Last place had high ceilings and old wooden curtain poles. The heavy eyelet curtains just got stuck + wouldn't pull. You needed someone over 6ft to shut them.
Also had exactly the number of crockery, cutlery + glasses. So annoying as kids just use multiple + wander off with it so you have to round up before meals! My husband accidentally broke a glass washing up, so we bought a cheap multipack to replace it + to have more for our family to use. When we left we said sorry about the glass. She said oh no worries we have loads of spares in case that happens. So she deliberately makes everyone struggle with not enough stuff

Glass chopping boards

Well thankfully there are plenty that haven't for the message about blackout and just have nice normal curtains. Nothing more depressing than waking in pitch dark in summer.

Also: scented toiletries which will as likely as not bring my skin up in a rash-and even if they don't, I have no desire to smell of grapefruit/pomegranates/seaweed all day.

I’ve never stayed in a holiday let where flute glasses were provided. I like a bit of fizz on holiday and don’t like drinking that out of normal glasses. Yes we can take them with us but it’s one more thing to remember to pack. Flutes don’t have to be expensive.