Things you don't want in a holiday let ...

[LindorDoubleChoc]

I'll start.

Decorative cushions on the beds! Absolutely no thank you. They're quite irritating on the sofas ... but on the beds! Just why?

Another one - quite specific to where I'm staying now - unwashed cooker hood filters. They make the whole kitchen smell of dirty ovens.

Also ... it's nice if all the mirrors and the glass shower screen are done properly.

Knackered pans and trays. But reading other threads about what guests trash or steal I guess that's why

Scented stuff. I get migraines from strong scents and once had to move THIRTEEN different plugins and reed diffusers into a cupboard in the utility room of a relatively small cottage.

A welcome cake that’s a week out of date and no salt and pepper (despite emailing to confirm that this was part of their kitchen essentials).

I'd rather have cheap but new IKEA everything than handed down through the generations bone handled cutlery, odds and sods of kitchen utensils which look like they've come from a car boot sale, soft furnishings which belong in an old people's home, round side tables with 2 "co-ordinating" table clothes draped over them), horrible lamps with cut out shades, lounge which smells like a church hall after a jumble sale, and sash windows that are so complicated to operate we've had to just leave them open - "unlock the window on both sides with the key, flick the latches, press the rockers on the sides, slide the round knobs to the centre, try and pull the window up".

We're leaving a day early!

I don't want blunt knives, or frying pans that don't know the meaning of 'non-stick'.

I don't want to find out at the wrong moment that there are no spare bin bags.

I like finding all manner of (up-to-date) leaflets about local attractions, and lists of restaurants, pubs and where to find the supermarket & the chemist. Advice on decent (and cheap) car parks would be good too.

I like a framed OS map of the area on the wall.

Downstairs toilet when bedroom is upstairs.
Small thin towels.
Bath with shower and not walk in shower.

We just stayed in a cottage that all of you posters would have hated! However I could tell it was a well loved former family home that had been inherited and is now let as an air b n b. We loved it, and felt very at home.

We stayed in one in London which had explicit instructions not to touch the heating controls... it was the start of April and it was freezing. I ignored the instructions and turned the heating up. I'm not going to be cold on holiday, thank you very much.

Glass chopping boards
A welcome pack with cake or bread which is unlikely to be the sort I would choose. Why waste your money?

As someone who's childhood holidays included tents, kagouls and a lot of rain, if a place is dry, warm and clean I am fairly happy. If you could provide decent sized wine glasses and mugs that would be great, I bring my own from home now. Also please pay for the proper sized bins and recycling, the bin days are usually towards the middle of your stay so you have to squeeze rubbish into an already full bin from the previous guests and the lid has to be shut otherwise the seagulls cause carnage !

Neighbours with a ddog that barks at all fucking hours..

At our last let there was a fancy soup tureen with matching bowls. I felt this was overkill.

Irritating stair gate on the patio doors to stop the resident dog coming into the cottage and starling socks

What are starling socks?

Double bed in the master bedroom. I can compromise on almost anything else but this.

Complex instructions about rubbish.

Pay for a commercial service if you are a business. I'm on bloody holiday.

Double beds. Can’t sleep in them they are too small. Cushions on beds. Showers that are incredibly complex to use and scald me or drench me in freezing water. Or have no real power but just drip pathetically.
TVs that just will not work with lengthy instructions. The housekeeper doesn’t know how it works either so you have no TV all holiday.
Induction hobs. I don’t understand how they work and can’t cook on them.
scratched non stick pans , blunt knives, tea cups instead of mugs.
An outdoor washing line but can’t find any pegs.
Windows that won’t open.
Intrusive owners living next door or a housekeeper who just turns up and lets herself in when you are out.
Leaving time is 10 am but the cleaner is sitting in their car outside at 9.30 or tries
to get in earlier.
No salt and pepper , no cling film, no herbs .
Uncomfortable furniture or one two seater sofa .
Wifi which is useless or non existent .
Poor quality bed linen. Thin grey towels .
No wood for a woodburner .
Too cold or too hot.
Not enough hot water.
Dirty anything. I once had to clean the bath when we arrived. It was filthy.
Mouldy grout. Mould or damp generally.
Owners who try to keep the deposit claiming you have left
the place a mess when you spent hours cleaning it before you left.

That happens every fucking where these days tbf.

Those plug in smelly things that puff out fragrance every so often

Not enough toilet rolls and no soap.

Most of the countryside isn’t on Mains Gas so that’s why there are so many holiday cottages with induction hobs.

100% agree with hating anything smelly and cheap bedding.

My pet hate is tiny non smart TV’s and no Wi-Fi . Oh and cottages that allow dogs and then have cream carpets and white sofas. Why?

Lots of ornaments/Knick knacks that my kids can break.

As a host I’m reading with interest.

Not enough cleaning products.
A dishwasher available to use but only 2 tablets provided so we have to buy a whole box. No dishwashing liquid. Only leaving one tea towel for a weeks stay. Only one roll of toilet paper provided. No spray cleaner etc. it would be fab if these basics were provided for a weeks stay.

Would you not expect to bring your own?

Are you kidding? We aren’t camping!