Things you don't want in a holiday let ...

[LindorDoubleChoc]

I'll start.

Decorative cushions on the beds! Absolutely no thank you. They're quite irritating on the sofas ... but on the beds! Just why?

Another one - quite specific to where I'm staying now - unwashed cooker hood filters. They make the whole kitchen smell of dirty ovens.

Also ... it's nice if all the mirrors and the glass shower screen are done properly.

Because some of us hate them?

Signs telling you not to adjust the heating and hot water programs. I don’t appreciate hot water only being available for an hour say 7am and 5pm for a family of six, or the radiators on full in the middle of summer. I will be adjusting them, if you put them behind a perspex panel I carry screwdrivers, if they’re in a padlocked cupboard I’m going to phone repeatedly until you send someone to adjust them.

Twee sticky notes all over with rules
Dirty grubby anything
Doors with a key instead of electronic keypad

Homes where the neighbours make you feel unwelcome and you get the vibe they hate air b and b generally.

Teeny tiny cups, instead of proper mugs.
Blunt knives.
1 Small sachet of useless dishwashing powder for a whole week.

Oh I love one with angry laminated signs and a deranged ring binder of instructions, it gives us something to laugh at. Ditto terrible ornaments or taxidermy. Love an induction hob and an Aga, very good for toasting millions of hot cross buns at once.

Don’t want synthetic duvets and pillows, hard mattresses, stinky air freshener, thin curtains, decorative cushions and runners, pet friendliness, locked heating, football tables, leather sofas.

Reading this lot I would never want to run an air b&b!

i have a friend with one, and recently the guests stole her expensive mattresses and replaced them with cheap ones. She has some horrific stories - the mess people leave behind!!

Forgot this one. It’s my pet hate… PVC sofas in black, but any colour. Why are so many self catering places furnished with black fake leather sofas? Just hideous. In fact black decor generally. Also beds with fake leather headboards.

That is truly awful.

Beds that squeak when you turn over.
bathrooms with no where to put your wash bag and bits
no where to charge the phone by the bed
unclear descriptions of bedrooms and bed..if I am traveling with a group, it very helpful to know exactly what width beds and how many of them are in each room, or it it is a sofa bed etc

Mating pythons in the roof cavity

Mating pythons in the roof cavity

Are they particularly noisy when mating ?

I would provide 2 and expect anymore to be bought by the guests.

I haven’t had any of those issues yet - but it helps I live on site so they have to face me!

Buddhas, or Pam's re, ancient potpourri, rusted broken furniture and a pool table helps together with duct tape. Yes villa d'amour, you.

Nik naked not sure what Pam's re is!

I raise you a washing machine with all the settings blanked out with white paint except the 20 degrees.
(We googled the online instructions to find the position for 40. My knickers are used to being washed at 40.)

Fake leather sofas that are cold and slippy to sit on. Bounus point if they are the tiny two seaters. I understand why they are in there - they wipe clean - but they are so uncomfortable.

Every mad kitchen utensil that has ever been invented shoved into the cupboards meaning there is no room for any of the food I have bought. I do not need three hand whisks, two egg poachers, a pasta machine, cup cake tins and a slow cooker when I am on holiday.

Tiny, hard towels.

Dirty loo brush.

Leaflets for local attractions that closed down years ago.

And. on one memorable visit to France - fly papers hanging down from the ceilings in all of the rooms with the corpses of hundreds of flies sticking to them.

For how long and how many people?

They thump and they bump and then you get worried that 2 heavy pythons together might come crashing through.

Ditto to blasted cushions on beds! Who on earth started this daft practice? You just have to chuck them on the floor or in the bottom of the wardrobe. Total PITA.

Oh, and in France, no coffee or tea cups/mugs bigger than a thimble. Maybe they use the cereal bowls instead, like the maman of my French exchange girl aeons ago - big bowl of milky tea with melted globules of butter from her dipped-in tartine floating on top. 🤮

A back boiler. Only made that mistake once.
Snail trails in the kitchen.
Crap broken sofas that smell of wet dog.
Damp running down the walls.
(^All that in the same property!)

Also as a non dog or cat owning family, any property that allows pets. Most seem to.

And like the person with allergies above, even the ones that say no pets sometimes have still had pets in them!

Agree with much of the above, as a survivor or a lot of self catering, cottage type holidays over the years. However, to be fair, some of these things are generally described in the listing, so are easy to avoid - such as the size of the beds, whether they allow dogs, if it has a hot tub or whether the place is next door to the owners house. (We once stayed in an annexe attached to the main house, and could hear every move the owners made 😱)

Having said that, I don't want large bunches of artificial flowers (especially if they are decorated with glitter!), blunt knives, one of those overhead "deluge" type shower heads, ancient magazines, long lists of instructions about what to do with the re-cycling etc, also agree with the above poster about cream furnishings/carpets in a dog friendly place.

Don't mind a knick knack or two as long as they make the place look more homely, are not on surfaces we want to use (such as the only flat space in the bathroom), are limited in number and not fragile/valuable. We also don't want to be "instructed" to mow the grass if it's looking a bit long!! (This really did happen in one property!) .....

A too early check out like 9am. Especially when they want you to strip the beds etc.
Makes for a rush ending to the holiday.
10am is early enough surely?
Dirty anything.
Complicated appliances.