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Original poster

Sara Sharif

416 replies

mauvish · 20/08/2023 18:42

Sara, aged 10, was found dead in the family home.

The police "want to speak" with Sara's father and his partner, who flew to Pakistan the day before Sara's body was found, and then phoned (don't know who) from there:

The call led officers to the house in Woking where they found the body of Sara who had sustained "multiple and extensive injuries", likely to have been caused over a sustained period of time.

Another child suffers at the hands of those who should care. I hope they get them back from Pakistan but I wonder what the chances of that are.

RIP, Sara.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-66563430

Sara Sharif

Sara Sharif murder inquiry: Girl known to authorities, council says

Surrey County Council says it is "working tirelessly" to understand what happened to Sara.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-surrey-66563430

OP posts:
Thread gallery
22
GoingGoingUp · 20/08/2023 22:45

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 22:29

The other side is on the run. I know whose side I would trust more.
She has nothing to gain from that statement. I'm from that 'neck of the woods' and can definitely confirm mother would never voluntarily not see he child. It's in the culture.
she has seen her child one per year in 2019 and 2020 and not in 2021 or 2022.

Show quote history

And of course she has something to gain by that statement - if she hasn’t seen her daughter in years, people will wonder why and speculate.

I don’t want to make this thread about the mum because she isn’t the focus here - she’s a mother who lost her child - but selling your story to the paper doesn’t make it the truth.

HikingforScenery · 20/08/2023 22:47

GoingGoingUp · 20/08/2023 22:43

Hmm, that bit of an odd response. I never said anything to suggest the other side was more believable, so not sure why it must be a case of one or the other side must be telling the truth. I simply said I would rather it’s from the police for me to believe it.

Personally, I find it odd the mother sold her story just days after her daughter died, but grief makes us behave in strange ways so I’m not going to judge her for it. But I’m also not going to assume her version of events must be true because she’s the mother whereas the father is an alleged killer. There’s three sides to every story - each party’s version of events and then the truth. I would rather hear it from an independent third party such as the police.

Even if it was true, we don’t know what the falling out was over. Perhaps the step mum wanted Sara’s mum out of the picture and facilitated an argument. Or perhaps Sara’s mum was too unstable and the step mum felt her behaviour was hurting Sara. It’s all speculation and unsubstantiated allegations right now.

Show quote history

The woman is likely being hounded by the press to give a story.

Poor, poor baby.
Her poor mum.
Are the other children safe? 🥲

itsmylife7 · 20/08/2023 22:54

Its reported the autopsy of this poor little girl is inconclusive and further tests are being carried out.

So her Father left his dead daughter in the house and flew to Pakistan with his wife, 5 other children and brother.......not the actions of innocent people ?

Poor little Sara.

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:12

Why does everyone think she sold her story? She was very clearly hounded to tell her side. Police would have corrected or made statement if she said anything that was a lie.
Hopefully the five other kids are safe.

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:15

We dont know the full facts yet , but it's safe to say

a) dad played a part in her death

And

b) there are many instances of abusive men blocking children from seeing their mothers who have done nothing wrong except try and flee abuse.

Indeed I only managed to flee my husband with my children because the police helped me. And her certainly made up some horrifically spurious allegations - I was just lucky to have medical evidence to disprove them

So for now my heart breaks primarily for that little girl but also gives the benefit of the doubt to the mother.

My ex put my son's life at risk (again) last week and lurking in the back of my mind was the knowledge that, whatever I tried to do to stop it, some Mumsnetters would still decide it was my fault if the worst happened .

Even if mum wasn't able to mother, for whatever reason, her daughter's death is not her fault.

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:17

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:15

We dont know the full facts yet , but it's safe to say

a) dad played a part in her death

And

b) there are many instances of abusive men blocking children from seeing their mothers who have done nothing wrong except try and flee abuse.

Indeed I only managed to flee my husband with my children because the police helped me. And her certainly made up some horrifically spurious allegations - I was just lucky to have medical evidence to disprove them

So for now my heart breaks primarily for that little girl but also gives the benefit of the doubt to the mother.

My ex put my son's life at risk (again) last week and lurking in the back of my mind was the knowledge that, whatever I tried to do to stop it, some Mumsnetters would still decide it was my fault if the worst happened .

Even if mum wasn't able to mother, for whatever reason, her daughter's death is not her fault.

Finally someone who has a prior experience of the system.
It's definitely not your fault or fault of this mum, it's a system that's faulty.

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:18

PorpoiseTortoise · 20/08/2023 21:36

I've just googled and pasting the first page I've found but this gives a pretty good explanation of why the father might have been given full custody.

"Fathers will tend to be more successful in winning custody of the children where there is evidence that the children are not cared for effectively by the mother. "

"There are many different reasons why a mother would have the children removed, perhaps because of mental illness, inability to encourage the contact between father and child, or the children receive a lower standard of care when they are with their mother."

www.watson-thomas.co.uk/help-and-advice/27-help-and-advice-divorce-relationship-breakdown/111-what-are-the-chances-of-a-father-winning-custody-of-children#:~:text=There%20are%20therefore%20usually%20two,when%20living%20with%20their%20mother.

But let's not forget sometimes, more often than people like to believe, the dad makes up a bunch of compelling lies.

It's rough justice in the family courts. Lack of critical thinking and lack of scrutiny of evidence astonished me (solicitor working in an entirely different field)

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:21

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:17

Finally someone who has a prior experience of the system.
It's definitely not your fault or fault of this mum, it's a system that's faulty.

Show quote history

Exactly. And if I couldnt even get the courts to see the situation clearly, despite ample evidence from school and hospitals, an expensive barrister , my own experience as a lawyer and a relative guiding me who is a family court judge then what hope do others have of getting justice?

(My relative who is a family court judge already knew the whole system was a mess, he had been scathing about cafcass in particular for years)

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:25

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:21

Exactly. And if I couldnt even get the courts to see the situation clearly, despite ample evidence from school and hospitals, an expensive barrister , my own experience as a lawyer and a relative guiding me who is a family court judge then what hope do others have of getting justice?

(My relative who is a family court judge already knew the whole system was a mess, he had been scathing about cafcass in particular for years)

Show quote history

Most people would not believe you because it sounds crazy, doesn't it?
A few years ago that would be me. I didn't go through family courts but know many who did. My experience is with SEN dept of LA and also SS, who we were referred to for very spurious reasons by said SEN department. Several SENDIST tribunals and my sense of justice and rose tinted glasses of law are definitely gone.

I was thinking of retraining as a lawyer but couldn't stomach it.

PrincessFiorimonde · 20/08/2023 23:28

I don't know anything about Sara's birth mother, or about why the child was living with her father and his partner. But I have been surprised there hasn't been more coverage of this in the media. A little girl has been found dead, with evidence of 'multiple and extensive injuries' inflicted 'over a sustained and extended period of time'. Meanwhile, the family that she lived with have fled overseas. And this isn't a headline story?

I hope Sara's father, his partner and her uncle are brought back here as soon as possible to explain what happened to her.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/aug/20/ten-year-old-sara-sharif-known-to-surrey-authorities-before-her-death

Ten-year-old Sara Sharif known to Surrey authorities before her death

Council is conducting rapid safeguarding review after death that has sparked international manhunt

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/aug/20/ten-year-old-sara-sharif-known-to-surrey-authorities-before-her-death

Somanycats · 20/08/2023 23:29

We don't know the dad played a part in her death. I may suspect he did, but it could also have been the stepmum, the uncle or the 13 year old brother.

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:30

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:25

Most people would not believe you because it sounds crazy, doesn't it?
A few years ago that would be me. I didn't go through family courts but know many who did. My experience is with SEN dept of LA and also SS, who we were referred to for very spurious reasons by said SEN department. Several SENDIST tribunals and my sense of justice and rose tinted glasses of law are definitely gone.

I was thinking of retraining as a lawyer but couldn't stomach it.

Show quote history

Agreed. I didn't believe my relative (family court judge) when he tried to warn me how awful it would be (not that I had much choice). I was so naively proud of our legal system, having learnt how it should work in theory

I have a daughter and a nephews with SEN , I really feel for you, there is still a huge gulf between what should happen and what does

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:31

Somanycats · 20/08/2023 23:29

We don't know the dad played a part in her death. I may suspect he did, but it could also have been the stepmum, the uncle or the 13 year old brother.

Agreed, we don't know for sure, but its not unreasonable to have a lot of questions about why he fled the country....

Jellycats4life · 20/08/2023 23:32

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ThatDifficultOne · 20/08/2023 23:33

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 20:02

I live 5 min from there. Police are still present which is unusual.
She was known to Social Services. They must have been busy dealing with lots of malicious referrals recently from their SEN team (4 for us alone), who have a habit of referring when they don't like a complaint etc.
Hopefully 'lessons will be learned'. Poor girl, RIP. The village is in shock.

Sorry to jump on this post - we have had issue with SEN team too there’s a group of us in our LA - do you get allegations of FII of you complain or ask for expensive support such as respite packages ?

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:34

PrincessFiorimonde · 20/08/2023 23:28

I don't know anything about Sara's birth mother, or about why the child was living with her father and his partner. But I have been surprised there hasn't been more coverage of this in the media. A little girl has been found dead, with evidence of 'multiple and extensive injuries' inflicted 'over a sustained and extended period of time'. Meanwhile, the family that she lived with have fled overseas. And this isn't a headline story?

I hope Sara's father, his partner and her uncle are brought back here as soon as possible to explain what happened to her.

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/aug/20/ten-year-old-sara-sharif-known-to-surrey-authorities-before-her-death

Police and press are holding information back on purpose.
They went from a standard murder to a she had bruises and long standing injuries (abuse).
They are trying to take statements from people before too much information is released.
To prove murder, you have to establish intent. Otherwise it's manslaughter. So they will try and put together a picture of how long this went on and whether this abuse was intentional etc.

The usual school announcement hasn't been made for a reason (she did go to school).

TheBeesKnee · 20/08/2023 23:34

Poor girl, it's all so disturbing.

Why is a 10 year old wearing a full face of make up as well? What on earth was going on over there?

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:37

FerryPink · 20/08/2023 23:30

Agreed. I didn't believe my relative (family court judge) when he tried to warn me how awful it would be (not that I had much choice). I was so naively proud of our legal system, having learnt how it should work in theory

I have a daughter and a nephews with SEN , I really feel for you, there is still a huge gulf between what should happen and what does

Show quote history

Should and reality are two different things.
What really annoys me is that LA doesn't know the law and tries to convince you that their procedures is a law.
Andif you don't comply, it's on to SS. Such a waste of time

Meredusoleil · 20/08/2023 23:37

TheBeesKnee · 20/08/2023 23:34

Poor girl, it's all so disturbing.

Why is a 10 year old wearing a full face of make up as well? What on earth was going on over there?

I wondered that too!

HateTheView · 20/08/2023 23:37

My take on it is that her parents were in an abusive relationship. For whatever reason the Dad ended up with custody. The new wife didn't like how Sara kept talking about her mum so stopped contact. Sara was unhappy so still kept talking about her and either her father and/or stepmother has 'punished' her on multiple occasions until finally taking it too far and killing her. Either the Dad felt bad and called the police once they were safe in Pakistan or a family member in Pakistan noticed one of the children was missing so called the police.

I think Sara's mother sold her story and provided pictures of Sara. She probably felt she needed to tell her side of the story and possibly needs the money to get her daughter's body transported back to Poland to be buried.

Poor Sara. I hope those responsible are caught.

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Great point. They were married for long though so perhaps not. But not something I thought of before.

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:39

ThatDifficultOne · 20/08/2023 23:33

Sorry to jump on this post - we have had issue with SEN team too there’s a group of us in our LA - do you get allegations of FII of you complain or ask for expensive support such as respite packages ?

Show quote history

Yes we do. Every complaint is a report to SS. It's all very annoying and tedious

PalomaPalomaPaloma · 20/08/2023 23:39

PorpoiseTortoise · 20/08/2023 21:42

From another site:

When should I seek sole custody?
The clearest reason to ask for sole custody is to protect your child from physical harm, especially if the other parent has a history of any of the following issues:
ABUSE: If a parent has assaulted or sexually abused the other parent or any child, this presents an obvious danger to their child.
NEGLECT: If a parent has previously neglected the child, this neglect could continue in the future. Neglect is the failure to provide a child with necessary medical care, dental care, supervision, food, clothing, shelter or other safeguards to protect the child's well-being.
SUBSTANCE ABUSE: A parent who abuses drugs or alcohol presents a danger to the child. The altered mental state that occurs as a result of substance abuse prohibits the parent from being able to properly care for the child.
MENTAL ILLNESS: A child should be protected from a parent who is mentally unstable and exhibits irrational and unpredictable behavior. For example, a child should never be left with a suicidal parent.
There are also reasons to obtain sole custody beyond protecting the child physically:
ABANDONMENT: Sometimes parents can't or won't take care of their child. If a parent has shown little interest in their child and has failed to maintain contact with them, you may want sole custody so the parent can't resurface years later to exercise custody rights as a virtual stranger.
INCARCERATION: If a parent is imprisoned, they cannot provide a home or care for the child. In this case, you may want to seek sole custody, and the other parent can have visits with the child after their release from prison, if appropriate. Don't feel obligated to take your child to visit a parent in prison if you feel it may harm the child emotionally.
RELOCATION: If a parent plans to move out of the state or country, it may be best for one parent to have sole custody.
Above all, sole custody should be for the good of the child, not for depriving the other parent.

www.custodyxchange.com/topics/plans/overview/custody-agreement-sole.php

That looks like an American website.

citygirl1234567 · 20/08/2023 23:40

TheBeesKnee · 20/08/2023 23:34

Poor girl, it's all so disturbing.

Why is a 10 year old wearing a full face of make up as well? What on earth was going on over there?

Cover up bruises/ possibly child marriage photo?

HateTheView · 20/08/2023 23:41

TheBeesKnee · 20/08/2023 23:34

Poor girl, it's all so disturbing.

Why is a 10 year old wearing a full face of make up as well? What on earth was going on over there?

I think this could be innocent. Her mum said she wanted to be a model so maybe she put make up on her to try it out? Also she might have had dance/theatre classes and participated in shows were make up is normal. Also in some religious festivals children get to west make up, I think?