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Original poster

Dh spilled coffee and now he's in a rage

151 replies

Dreamerdeciever · 16/08/2023 17:21

Hi all I've name changed for this.
Anyway, dh spilled a tub of coffee in the kitchen earlier. I said I'd clean it up.
I did but he went to the kitchen and I could hear shouting. Apparently there was some left. I admit I didn't do as good a job as I thought I did.
He raged about this calling me useless and he had to watch what I did.
I'm in tears about this.
I'm so fed up, I just feel his response was disproportionate.
What started his bad mood is my announcement that my dm had asked me to go to a quiz with her Sunday evening. I'd be away for one night, we have no dc's.
Apparently I spend more time with her than him.
This is so untrue. Until last week, I hadn't seen her for 6 weeks.

I'm trying to be factual here but I would like some input.

He constantly belittles my family. It's got to the point that I don't feel like seeing them because I know he'll be moody about it.

Sorry for the vent.

OP posts:
Silvers11 · 16/08/2023 17:49

Please get out of this relationship. He is abusive and controlling and appears to be trying to isolate you from Your family - and presumably your friends too. The fact you offered to clear it up and he then spoke to you the way you did speaks volumes. Wait until he is out of the house, pack anything important to you and go and stay with your Mum. Don't tell him you are leaving until you have actually left and are somewhere safe.

PupInAPram · 16/08/2023 17:49

Christ! Run, don't walk.

MNetcurtains · 16/08/2023 17:50

He's an arsehole. Never thought I'd say this, but LTB!

EvilElsa · 16/08/2023 17:52

He's an abusive arsehole OP. Get out and live a better life without him. You deserve better.

LeolaGy · 16/08/2023 17:56

Hi Op, your post reminds me of my Dad. I have a lot of trauma from when I was a child because of his anger issues and treating my mum like crap. She is now finally separating from him 30 years down the line and she really regrets not doing it sooner, but she was just trapped. It is definitely abusive, and don’t let yourself regret not leaving years later like my mum 💐

Original poster
Dreamerdeciever · 16/08/2023 17:57

He's always right you see, never wrong about anything. God I hate him but he's destroyed my mental health to the point almost all my confidence is gone.
I feel stuck.
Never a good word to say about me.
Never.
He's a cunt.

OP posts:
LemonDrizzle10 · 16/08/2023 17:57

Your post was your first step to freedom OP, well done. Life will be so much better when you have left.

FloNightingale · 16/08/2023 17:59

I’m sorry @Dreamerdeciever , you need to leave him immediately and divorce him. He is abusing you and this will only escalate if you have kids with him. He’s already trying to isolate from your Mother.

Bluetrews25 · 16/08/2023 17:59

Did he make this mess deliberately?
Why did you have to clean up?
Did he re-spill some coffee to 'prove' that you had failed to do your job properly so he could have an excuse to shout at you?
He clearly doesn't want you going out - someone might tell you how normal people behave and you might realise you are being treated badly.
All kinds of wrong.

You can see it now, can't you?
Take care and good luck with your escape plan.

Bluetrews25 · 16/08/2023 18:02

Oh @Dreamerdeciever your MH will improve immensely when you get out.

Even if you left with nothing but the clothes you stand up in you would be better off than you are now.

Love and courage to you xxx

Original poster
Dreamerdeciever · 16/08/2023 18:03

No it was not deliberate and I did offer to clean up but a normal response would be well you didn't do a good job of it and may be a slight annoyance but really he was raging. Totally disproportionate.
Cunt.
Sorry for the language guys but it seems apt.

OP posts:
morbidd · 16/08/2023 18:04

What do you want OP? What's your idea for a future?

jackstini · 16/08/2023 18:04

Plan to leave
Go to your mums asap and apply for a divorce
There is nothing good about staying with him

arethereanyleftatall · 16/08/2023 18:05

What on Earth?

Oh op. Pack yours or his bags and leave today.

Then spend some time thinking about why you didn't split up far far sooner.

mintbiscuit · 16/08/2023 18:06

This is abuse. It will get worse. Do not have children with him. Leave now

Jackiebrambles · 16/08/2023 18:08

What an abusing shit. Can you go directly to your mums now? Tell her everything, she loves you and will support.

itsgettingweird · 16/08/2023 18:10

Dreamerdeciever · 16/08/2023 17:57

He's always right you see, never wrong about anything. God I hate him but he's destroyed my mental health to the point almost all my confidence is gone.
I feel stuck.
Never a good word to say about me.
Never.
He's a cunt.

It's good you can see this.

Now pack your stuff and make your night at your mums permanent.

You deserve better Flowers

broccolibush · 16/08/2023 18:10

Dreamerdeciever · 16/08/2023 18:03

No it was not deliberate and I did offer to clean up but a normal response would be well you didn't do a good job of it and may be a slight annoyance but really he was raging. Totally disproportionate.
Cunt.
Sorry for the language guys but it seems apt.

No. A normal response would be to clean it up himself, either when he made the mess or when he noticed that you’d missed a bit. He’s really ground you down to make you think that him commenting on your cleaning up being sub-par is a normal or reasonable response.

LTB.

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 16/08/2023 18:12

No kids = just leave. Can you stay with your mum for a bit?

itsmylife7 · 16/08/2023 18:12

He should be thanking you for cleaning up after him, not belittling you OP.

He's a nasty piece of work.

Utereusbegone · 16/08/2023 18:13

So he is raging because YOU didn't do a good enough job cleaning up the mess HE made? Read that back, he is a abusive twat

GoingToBeLessRubbishAtLife · 16/08/2023 18:13

Actually that should mean no kids = easier to leave.

Even with kids, leave, but it’s a bit trickier to sort the logistics.

LoveThisUsername · 16/08/2023 18:13

Please leave op.

Todaywego · 16/08/2023 18:13

Get out. Don't get pregnant.

Mutinyonthecrunchie · 16/08/2023 18:15

What a complete wanker and waste of space.
Have a great future with out him op and there are no dc with him better still. No future ties.

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