Why is it every time a high earning woman starts a thread...

[Lentilweaver]

asking for financial or job advice on here, someone comes along to tell her that their salary is 1/40th of hers or some such figure. And some one else comes along to complain about her being tone deaf.

Seen this several times in the last week or so. Didn't comment on the thread because I didn't want to derail the good advice being given, but at the risk of starting a TAAT, I wanted to say: FFS. Let women earn high salaries without being made to feel guilty on a women's site. If you earn a low salary, that's on you. It's not tone deaf to talk about high salaries even in a CoL crisis.

I think it's useful in some ways, sure.

I don't see how asking a load of people on half your salary on whether you can afford to live in London on 4x their salary and having your thread derailed is all that helpful however😂

Depends on the type of financial thread, though.

It depends on the lifestyle they want to achieve and what they want for their child or children. To live in London you have to keep up it's constantly moving it never sleeps and it is expensive to live in. I grew up in London and then moved out to raise our family. Most of the luxury's I can offer my children is affordable outside of London if I lived in it and wanted the same lifestyle I probably couldn't afford it.

I hope that makes sense.

I was ripped into by a couple of posters last year for suggesting a charity called the fuelbank for giving your government £400 if you didn't need it. Despite saying that the idea was aimed at high earners who didn't feel they wanted the money.....

The irony of being told I was tone deaf by people who couldn't accept that with our share of the government help I was just trying to ensure went to people who needed more help, not stayed with those who didn't need it! Apparently I was boasting by telling them I was giving to charity😟

So if someone has a disability or chronic illness which prevents you from working full time or at all and they have a small salary . It’s on them. Charming

@Pasithean You have deliberately twisted what I said. Charming of you too.

Of course, it's not the fault of a person with a disability or an illness if they earn a small salary. Equally it is not the fault of high-earning women, and they are not required to shut up to make other women feel better. Posters can start their own threads rather than pull high earning women down.

It is weird on here about women's salaries. It's much more acceptable to have a Very High Earning husband. Also women generally work because material things like fancy cars are very important to them whereas men are supporting their families. It just reflects wider societal prejudice.

You could say that about most threads.

if you have 6 kids and want to know about peoples childcare arrangements, why would ask here. Most people don’t have 6 kids, have a different family set up, do different jobs etc.

Then it wills be derailed by the ‘how can you have 6 kids when the planet is dying’ posts.

Most of the ops mentioning rather high salaries are imo either totally made up or posted in bad faith.

I don't for one minute believe that someone earning £100k truly needs random mn advice on whether this is enough to support a £500k mortgage, or whether they should be saving 10% of this or if they'd be able to afford private school fees or 100 other trivial shit questions I've seen asked by 'high earners'.

In my experience, people who've managed to reach a six figure salary point aren't usually so utterly dense or incapable that they're unable to research or manage such matters. Hence the made up/bad faith suspicions.

If you truly do earn £100k and yet have literally no idea about how you'd start to research financial advice or savings or whatever financial matter you've posted about - then generally my advice would be that you're one lucky fucker to have managed to get where you are and you should probably keep your head down in work 🤣

I guess I do believe them. Just like people come on here to ask MH advice instead of going to a therapist or parenting advice instead of going to their GP or style advice instead of going to a personal shopper, because it feels friendlier.

There was one Asian poster and good earner who posted what seemed to be very silly concerns, but as a fellow Asian I totally recognised their need to cover all their bases and be cautious ( runs in our blood).

I wholeheartedly disagree! Just because someone makes a lot of money, it doesn't make them immune from self-doubt or being ignorant in a specific subject and wanting general advice. Mumsnet is great to gather opinions from different perspectives, which can be very helpful.

What makes you think that getting a successful/ high-paying job means that you are knowledgeable in all areas of life?

What makes you think that getting a successful/ high-paying job means that you are knowledgeable in all areas of life?

I don't, at all. Nor did I say that.

I'm not talking about posts on specific things. I see lots of posts on the money forums about advice on investments. Lots of posts on property about best areas in London to live or which £1m property you think is best. Posts on childcare about nannies whilst living abroad for a year with your new xontract. Posts on holidays about the best 3 month cruise option. Posts on money about Ltd company/HMRC problems/large tax bills.

I've no doubt that many people posting about such matters are high earners, from the subject matter. I mean, it's pretty obvious you're probably not browsing million quid London properties on £35k isn't it? Seeking opinions is often valid and useful regardless of income.

THESE are the types of posts that identify the 'true' high earners of MN, IMO.

The posts along the lines of 'I've recently been promoted and my new salary is £120k. However I have no idea whether saving £2k a month is reasonable or not' - not so much.

You can be a high earner without then updating your thread with ' oh I just got a 40k rise so I will stay in my stressful job and buy some diamonds'. I thought that one must be a troll because it would be hard to be so tone deaf

Ha! I read that one. It made me chuckle at how transparent it was. I do wonder at why people go to such lengths though - I can only imagine it comes from deep rooted unhappiness which is sad really.

Women who are proud of their achievements and encouraging to other women are brilliant, both online and in real life.

Fantasists & trolls who make up their brilliant jobs and lifestyles, just to bring other women down, on the other hand, can jog on. There have been too many prolific posters in this second category over the years.

Agree with this too. I'm a medium earner, nowhere near the six figures that people talk about on here, but hour by hour I earn far more than I did when employed full time and work flexibly from home so do all the school runs etc too (helps to save money on after school care also)

If you earn a low salary, that's on you

Bullshit, and utterly tone deaf. That's you I mean, not any other OP.

Yes, I'm not even a 100k plus earner, but my high earnings (which I continue to call high, because MN can have its head up its arse about what is considered high) are directly related to my ability to have my shit together, and I've never met anyone in my salary bracket or above (well into six figures) who didn't have the wherewithal to sort their shit out.

Ok, I lie, there was one. An ex (very) minor celebrity I employed. Her fairly unique circumstances were that she had a music career earning a lot at a young age, but that she was totally naive and manipulated, lost it all. Asset rich, but working as a hotel cleaner before she came to us.

100% this!

Just coming on to post that. There's too many people trolling living out their fantasy lives through Mumsnet. So easy to spot. 🤥

Some are hilarious in that they're able to spend so much time on Mumsnet instead of earning their six figure salary.

"Some are hilarious in that they're able to spend so much time on Mumsnet instead of earning their six figure salary."

This again!!! You know that many well paid jobs aren't 24/7 and actually included breaks in between meetings/ tasks?

I myself work mostly from home in a very well paid senior role and I am on Mumsnet a lot!

I did play bingo on that post 😁

Maybe we're just a figment of someone's imagination!!

There's one thread about redundancy that was derailed by women coming on to say how low their salaries were, and then eventually the high earning women went on to start their own women in tech thread so they wouldn't have to be apologetic. That's what I mean.

Sorry, I don't believe there are so many fantasists that come on MN to talk about their high salaries. Perfectly possible to earn a high salary and WFH, leaving time for MN.

Sorry, I don't believe there are so many fantasists that come on MN to talk about their high salaries.

Have you only just joined? They're prolific and stand out a mile, and not just salary but lifestyle. There have been infamous examples, some of whom get regular mentions on those well known Mumsnetter threads.

Terribly vulgar to discuss details of salary anyway, betrays class, or lack of, and background

No, I haven't just joined.

I don't think it is vulgar to discuss details of salary at all. I think it's helpful and motivational. I am not originally British anyway, so I don't care about class and lack of background and the way the upper class does things😊

There are - inevitably - a lot of tone deaf, narrow-minded and discompassionate posts to this thread but, for me, you take the biscuit @C1N1C. While hoping your username simply means you make a hobby of being smug & mean-minded on internet discussions, I'll take you at face value.

Most of your comments are just too smug, sneering and stupid to address but I can perhaps help with one.

If you see graduated tax as a penalty on above-average income, I recommend moving to one of the many countries whose systems don't require their more privileged citizens to contribute towards support for the less privileged. Stepping over starving families on the street, risking infection from the beggars accosting you at every turn, having to look at the effects of untreated injuries, dealing with the effects of illiteracy & innumeracy and facing frequent attempted robberies as you traverse crowded, smelly, bumpy and unpaved roads, you will no doubt revel in the knowledge that so little of your wife's cash has been used to help the society you live in.

Or, you know, you could campaign for higher taxes to be used for more social support - as, indeed, many of the world's richest people do.

Eh what? Did you post on the wrong thread?