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Original poster

2 beggars having a go at me

122 replies

Notfallingforthatagain · 14/08/2023 22:30

I know, I know, don't give money to beggars, I know that, but I succumbed to the yarn one was spinning me in a busy station, and he looked so unappealing I felt sorry for him. He said he was trying to get together £20 for a hostel for the night, and he only had £6 so far.

I believed him ( more fool me) and went to a cashpoint and withdrew £10 and handed it over - which I very rarely do, but like I said, he was so unpleasant looking I felt sorry for him.

He didn't thank me, and immediately stopped looking pathetic and started looking intimidating, firstly winking, and saying come on sweetie, you can do better than a tenner, and then got more demanding and assertive, so I walked away, and was immediately accosted by a second beggar who started berating me for giving my money to the first beggar instead of him, and going on about how unfair it was, and how I should be treating them equally, and he was really pissed off he had been begging for nearly an hour and only had a fiver, and this other guy had just turned up a few minutes ago and got the good punters.

I stupidly felt like I had to justify myself not returning to the cashpoint and getting more money out, but really, that was my food budget for this evening, so we just had egg and frozen chips tonight, not that I need to justify it to MN either...

Anyway, that was 6 hours ago, and I am still a but shaken up, not by their behaviour so much as my pathetic capitulation to the first one, and pathetic defensiveness to the second.

I should have said straightforward no to both

OP posts:
NillyNoMates · 14/08/2023 22:36

It’s easy to fall for these things in the heat of the moment. Lesson learnt.

HennyPenny1234 · 14/08/2023 22:58

I ignore them, don't make eye contact and keep walking..

The same goes for chuggers

Baldieheid · 14/08/2023 23:15

The horrid thing is, I bet you never engage or help a homeless person again. I don't, after a similar experience. I bought food for someone and she threw it back at me and then spat in my face because "I dinny want fuckin' food, I want fuckin' money fur ma fuckin' hit, ya bitch".

I donate to the charity air ambulance by monthly direct debit now, and that's it. Beggars are ignored.

Original poster
Notfallingforthatagain · 14/08/2023 23:32

I still feel upset by the whole encounter. I don't know why.

OP posts:
Sooze2023 · 14/08/2023 23:52

Of course you feel upset! You were intimidated by two different men who took advantage of your kindness.

Best stick to donating to food banks in supermarkets where it goes to genuine people in need.

Sorry for your horrid experience OP.

DyslexicPoster · 15/08/2023 00:01

I was at Winchester at the weekend and the amount of intoxicated beggers was quite surprising as I go there often. I heard a few screaming at women.

I saw a proper legit homeless man almost demand the contents of a elderly lady's purse in my big town once. I would on that basis never every give him or his bunch anything ever for the risk of getting mugged.

memyselfiesandI · 15/08/2023 00:02

If I see these types I avoid eye contact especially if I'm walking with my small kids and keep it moving, I can't even stand those hustlers with their knife crime magazines that stand and harass everyone outside train stations ugh 😑 anyway you can't save everyone nor can you feed everyone. I guess you will be more wiser from this happening again.

Potterypot · 15/08/2023 00:22

Don't blame yourself. It's difficult to distinguish between the ones who need money and the addicts or gamblers. I was out few weeks back for a walk and didn't carry my wallet just house keys and a women ran towards me on high street and told me how she and her child are running away from dv relationship and are trying to find accommodations and needed cash . I apologized and mentioned am not carrying cash. Her whole demeanour changes and rushed to others . No one offered cash (probably because they are smarter than me ) then I saw her going into a betting lounge.

Northernsouloldies · 15/08/2023 00:48

Oh op, you just keep walking and ignore. I've watched these types whilst waiting to meet. They are predators, a sniff of weakness and a show of kindness is taken as weakness. Bad idea going to a cashpoint with one of these scumbags in tow. No wonder you were shaken.

Poppyblush · 15/08/2023 06:40

Sadly this is organised crime … often they are dropped off and collected later. Give to shelter instead.

FloofCloud · 15/08/2023 06:54

Ug I avoid now! There was always a
Chap outside the coop on Friday nights and I got my kids to ask them if they wanted a sandwich we purchased for them and they were really nice and thankful. I was on my way to work an nipped into another shop, I told him I had no cash so he said oh can you please buy me some deodorant and moisturiser please, so I did, he literally took them and scoffed at them, not expensive I guess, but still what he's asked for.
If I pass that shop now and he's there I won't bother going in now as he's always very intimidating when asking

MrsMoastyToasty · 15/08/2023 07:05

It's not usually to get a bed for the night, but to pay for drugs.
I had similar happen when out shopping. I had one of those little cards from McDonald's where you stick on the labels from their drinks so you get a free one once you've had 6 . I had a full card and offered it to a beggar. He didn't want it, just cash.

determinedtomakethiswork · 15/08/2023 07:15

Poppyblush · 15/08/2023 06:40

Sadly this is organised crime … often they are dropped off and collected later. Give to shelter instead.

I don't think the guys she was doing were organised crime.

topnoddy · 15/08/2023 07:37

So you made a mistake , everybody does sometimes , just learn from it and move on .

Largeslice · 15/08/2023 08:44

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Original poster
Notfallingforthatagain · 15/08/2023 08:55

This reply has been deleted

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well I didn't see any thread yesterday, maybe it was while I was out getting accosted? And I do support a lot of beggars, and help run emergency winter shelters etc.

But that was definitely the last time I will ever offer money

OP posts:
catsnore · 15/08/2023 09:28

Yep once got spat on by a beggar after I told him I had no money on me. Absolutely disgusting. Didn't realise until afterwards as he spat on my back as I walked away.

Ariela · 15/08/2023 09:57

Since I was 23 whenI had a cup of very hot tea thrown at me (for buying an actual cup of tea, rather than giving money for a cup of tea) I only ever support homeless charities not people begging.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 15/08/2023 10:12

I work at a London mainline station and beggars are off the chart. I know most of their stories and they are all addicts of one sort or another, be it drink, crack or heroin. Most of them have places to stay but because of antisocial behaviours some choose not to, and these are the ones you see repeatedly begging.

There isn't a single one of them without a horrific back story of abuse and neglect, and while I feel immensely sorry for them and angry at a system that has repeatedly let them down, they genuinely hardly ever want food. I see them day after day throwing away piles of food and drink that well meaning people give them. They literally throw it in the bin or leave it on the street. There are charities who come round daily with food, and they shoplift what they actually do want.

So if you want to help them, give them money. If it's morally repugnant for you to support drug abuse in this way, just make your excuses and move on, because otherwise you're just wasting your money.

Original poster
Notfallingforthatagain · 15/08/2023 10:14

LadyOfTheCanyon · 15/08/2023 10:12

I work at a London mainline station and beggars are off the chart. I know most of their stories and they are all addicts of one sort or another, be it drink, crack or heroin. Most of them have places to stay but because of antisocial behaviours some choose not to, and these are the ones you see repeatedly begging.

There isn't a single one of them without a horrific back story of abuse and neglect, and while I feel immensely sorry for them and angry at a system that has repeatedly let them down, they genuinely hardly ever want food. I see them day after day throwing away piles of food and drink that well meaning people give them. They literally throw it in the bin or leave it on the street. There are charities who come round daily with food, and they shoplift what they actually do want.

So if you want to help them, give them money. If it's morally repugnant for you to support drug abuse in this way, just make your excuses and move on, because otherwise you're just wasting your money.

interesting - which station? can you say? I wonder if it was the one I was at.

OP posts:
LadyOfTheCanyon · 15/08/2023 11:45

Clapham junction

ForestGoblin · 15/08/2023 11:49

There's this need some people have to feel they're doing good for the cute and lovely "vulnerable", gor bless you guvnor!, and think they'll get some sort of medal for it.

People are horrible, including homeless people. When you give you can't expect any sort of gratitude or reciprocity. From their point of view, you're living a comfortable life and if you're fair game you're fair game.

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/08/2023 11:54

catsnore · 15/08/2023 09:28

Yep once got spat on by a beggar after I told him I had no money on me. Absolutely disgusting. Didn't realise until afterwards as he spat on my back as I walked away.

Eww the dirty maggot. (and thats an insult to maggots) I'd have pressed bloody charges. You can get DNA from spit and it is classed as assault.

Saschka · 15/08/2023 11:58

Awwlookatmybabyspider · 15/08/2023 11:54

Eww the dirty maggot. (and thats an insult to maggots) I'd have pressed bloody charges. You can get DNA from spit and it is classed as assault.

Show quote history

The police are not going to be remotely interested in this, or the hot tea throwing, in the majority of big cities. The beggar almost certainly knows this.

I do agree it is incredibly an incredibly horrible thing to happen though.

Didntmeanto6 · 15/08/2023 12:02

It's really really dangerous and foolish to let somebody accompany you to a cash machine to take out cash for them