Has anyone gone without any childcare for an entire summer?

[Chalatte]

Doing this with my kids (9&5) this summer. We spent a large chunk on classes for the older one, plus due to reasons (usual CM not available and budget) we decided just not to have any childcare at all. It has been okay so far, but as both work we try to get our kids to do as much screenfree time as possible and then switch them on to their tablets/tvs/switch until one of us becomes free to deal with them again. We are able to care for them but just not engage them the whole time, which I'm a bit guilty about.
Any solidarity/words of advice is welcome!

@ConnieTucker he has had multiple interviews with the same company- some of these are last minute because the CEO/COO has suddenly become available and want to interview him too. It's hard to plan childcare around that. Plus, he has a history of MH difficulties and is incredibly stressed re: his job situation atm and I don't think it's healthy for the children to stay around him for prolonged periods because of how low he is. So, as per usual the patriarchy bullshit, I'm always around to make sure the children are okay and things are ticking along nicely. I'm hugely indebted to my managers who are very flexible with me and allow me to do what I have to during the day so long as I get the work done. This means I'm usually going to bed at 2-3am when I finish my work once the DC are in bed. It's shit but it is what it is. Husband does the morning wake-up routine with the DC until I get up around 7-8am and then I'm back 'on' again. It's exhausting. We don't have family around (friends have children of their own and I wouldn't feel comfortable asking for favours from them re: childcare)- I NEED my children to go to holiday groups vs. Want.

Are you both working full time during the summer? Most parents I believe would cut down their hours during the summer if they weren’t using childcare especially. I always cut down to 3 days a week; or worked just a few hours each day once my husband was home. You don’t have to be doing things every single day but if you are working every day it’s likely they will get bored and that’s a bit sad.

Do not feel guilty needs must. I have a few all ranging in different ages and I have to save as much holiday time from work as possible due to hospital appointments and other things for them and an elderly parent so can't use it all up over the six weeks holidays. It just isn't possible. I have one week off in the holidays and then the odd day where possible and DH is self employed so he will try and finish early where possible. Tablets are the only option when in meetings but I try and make myself feel better by downloading educational games. 6 year old is loving word puzzles and crosswords at the moment.
Mum guilt is real but if they want the fun days out on the weekends and all the up to date fashion, toys and necessities they have to suck it up.

Judgemental much sometimes the bills have to be considered providing shelter warmth and food is a primary part of parenting for some of us screen time is a way of life and it doesn’t do any harm my oldest graduated university into a management role and is now the director of 3 counties penal support on £47k a year at 29

Where are these magical jobs that enable you to only work if you’re saving for Disney land and opt out when you don’t fancy it?!??

OP - don’t you dare feel guilty. You’re doing the best you can in challenging circumstances. No one is going to turn feral or be permanently damaged because you have to work and ( shock horror to god) your kids are having to entertain themselves. so many people are obsessed with constant activity ( probably do they can post it on insta on float on here about being parent of the year) and no one, literally no one needs that or benefits from it. Being able to entertain yourself , manage your own time, be creative is a brilliant life skill.

It's important children learn to amuse themselves.

You must be fantastic multi-taskers! Clearly you wouldn’t have chosen this as your plan for childcare in the holidays but you’ve made the best of a bad situation and I’m sure you’ll be itching to get out and about for lovely days of fun when you have your annual leave! You’re doing the best you can!!! Well done! X

You don't think it's ideal but it is what it is this summer. Best advice I can offer is start planning for next summer now. Have time off booked, look into child care or clubs you are comfortable with, have the financial resources in place to cover CH or clubs or babysitters. Discuss it with friends; is there an opportunity to share some days with other families where you could do play dates and other families could reciprocate. Cut you clothe to suit your purse my mother would say.

I'm sure they'll be OK this summer but plan to have a better one next year; for them and your own santiy.

Some really judgemental and unkind comments on this thread that weren’t asked for or needed.

OP don’t concern yourself with what all the perfect parents on here do!

My kids are older than yours (10 and 12) but we haven’t done any kids clubs etc for a couple of year. My husband wfh I am office based with flexibility to wfh when needed, I do 4 short days.

Its hard but if you can do stuff after work and on a weekend its fine. Mine still have their usual evening activities and we found they didn't enjoy the holiday clubs. Much prefer the lazy mornings and not being rushed off. Difficult for the younger ones but my lads now organise for friends to come round on the good weather days and go to the park, play in the garden or watch a film in our playroom. Bad weather days they just hang out on tech and watch films and will go to their nan.

We also book 3 weeks annual leave in the 6 weeks holidays where we do actually go away.

The usual people who have a real issue with this on any thread are here attacking the OP. I saw a couple of posters on another thread like this ages ago saying they would tell the persons employer if they could. They completely lost it with an OP who was a complete stranger to them. 😅

Lots of jobs are output based, so if you’re delivering, employers don’t care. My friend has wfh with kids for years, shes had a few promotions in that time so the company are clearly happy with her. Her kids are happier at home than in childcare, they were given the choice and chose home because they like being at home with their things and playing out. They go out evenings and weekends lots and go on holiday for 2/3 weeks when my friend and partner book annual leave.

The posts on this thread and others are so nasty and spiteful. It’s odd. The kids are fine, they’re in their home, the OP and her partner do stuff with them when not working, after work, weekends and have holiday booked soon. She says they’re happy. This nastiness is way OTT, I wonder what’s behind it. 😬

We're in a similar situation. We don't have enough annual leave to cover the entire holidays plus all the other school holidays throughout the year and they hate holiday clubs etc. I WFH most days and only until 2.30 so we do things when I've finished normally. Any days I have to be in the office, my husband takes as annual leave. We also have a week off for a family holiday and I took a week off at the start to do some days outs and visit family. You just need to do your best. My kids seem pretty happy with our setup. Hopefully yours are happy with yours too - and that's all that matters x

@ClimbingThroughTheWindow - I don't have an issue with the employer side of it, the OP and her DH know their work and their employers and presumably know it works fine. It wouldn't work for mine or my DH's roles because we have a lot of meetings and need focussed time to work.

I do have an issue with two 5 year olds being parked in front of screens from 11am to the evening for 5 days a week for a month. I am sure they are happy with that - what 5 year old wouldn't love it?! - but it's not good for them. And it wasn't necessary - the OP clearly has only made a half arsed attempt to secure childcare, tried one holiday club once and now thinks they are all useless. Spent a grand on tuition rather than spreading out that money.

OP as long as they’re fed and no one’s dead then don’t worry! You have to do what you have to do. It’s called surviving.

Hi everyone, we are closing this thread now as the OP has received a lot of feedback and has been in touch requesting the thread is closed.