Has anyone gone without any childcare for an entire summer?

[Chalatte]

Doing this with my kids (9&5) this summer. We spent a large chunk on classes for the older one, plus due to reasons (usual CM not available and budget) we decided just not to have any childcare at all. It has been okay so far, but as both work we try to get our kids to do as much screenfree time as possible and then switch them on to their tablets/tvs/switch until one of us becomes free to deal with them again. We are able to care for them but just not engage them the whole time, which I'm a bit guilty about.
Any solidarity/words of advice is welcome!

Good spot I have used these in the past but because of my twins being the way they are I just feel they are not very well suited to such an environment. They went there last term but don't particularly bond/make friends or enjoy it. They are also not taken care of individually and at this stage, they need more one-on-one attention. It sounds counter-intuitive to leave them at home while we work, but when they are home they can come up and ask us for anything they want and we can provide but in the bigger setups they aren't very vocal.

I don't know if I'm explaining it very well but yeah we have now come to the conclusion that they don't do super well in these large group settings.

Our school has a club but the school club basically does the same thing (other parents have noted this too so it isn't just me) they will leave them to their own devices and nobody really engages them so this has been a concern

They're not actually spending lots of time playing on their own, are they? It's 2.5 days a week for four weeks, isn't it?

they will leave them to their own devices and nobody really engages them

This is whats happening at home anyway. Start looking for something early for next summer.

@Chalatte why does a nine year old need more than a full school day tuition (for a fortnight) that's a GRAND in their holiday.

Yeah, my son doesn't either. Not sporty. Likes crafts. So I found a smaller camp that is better suited to his needs.

Has everyone forgotten lockdown?! Where we all had to work for a whole year while parenting our kids? I don't really understand the judgement here. This is over a 4 week period and it's only on some days of the week, and OP is in the house with the kids supervising them. OP you know it's not ideal but it's hardly the horrific neglect other posters are implying.

My employer wouldn't want me working from home with a 5 year old in the house. It was what we all had to do during lockdown but we're past that and if you start looking in the spring like the rest of us you can usually find some kind of summer club surely? Yes it costs £££ but that's part and parcel of having kids.

My thoughts exactly!

It's hardly neglect

The replies on my thread has me questioning my own sanity, parenting skills and the mental health of my children
When in reality they are chuffed to be able to clear stages in mario and get more screen time than they ever do in their school term time
I make them 3 healthy meals from scratch, they have dad to eat their meals with 3 days and the rest of the 4 days have me as well, we do parks, libraries, blackberry shrubs, and have explored more of the local area than we have all year.

Lockdown existed for sure but I grew up in the 90s as a latchkey kid when I would come home from school and stayed all by myself until a parent got home... Hours later! I also watched unlimited amounts of TV during my summer...

I think some people here need to go into the total perspective vortex!

Yeah I remember lockdown. It nearly broke my marriage. We did it because we had to, I was so relieved when nurseries opened again. I've never been so snappy, irritated or short tempered with my child before as I balanced his endless needs with a stressful, full time job. I cried every day. Everyone suffered. So no, I'd go into debt before I do that again.

Got a 2 and 5 yo and no help.
Initially me and DH were working but I was made redundant so slightly easier now.

But otherwise, 2yo still in nursery and 5yo booked into Summer camps and me and DH were taking turns having days off when no clubs were on. We have no family help. It costs a fortune and it's hard. No babysitters etc. but we muddle through! Me and DH will get a date night eventually!!!

I know, but I'm now comfortable with them being at home.
Just an anecdote but my little boy once at football club didn't wee all day because he didn't know how to untie his drawstring! Held it in.
I may not be great at putting it into words but at home us parents know exactly what's wrong with kids and how to deal, and because they are rather more dependant on us than our singleton was at that age I am not super comfortable sending them off to that setting is all.

Your drip feed when you weren't getting the responses you wanted that actually it was only for a few days a week and this and that changes things, but on the whole 5 year olds being stuck at home without social interaction with other children or much with an adult is pretty crappy. If needs must then sure, but you spent £1k on tuition for the older child so with some proper planning you could have no doubt sorted something. If they struggle in some groups then finding the right one for them might take time, but probably even more important for them socially than being by themselves all summer more or less before back to school.

If you are on holiday 2 weeks and taking half days Fridays (so discount that as a day they will get lots of attention), this is 4 weeks of 4 days that they are doing this so 16 days out of a 365 day year? So hardly loads and or a massive issue as some posters are implying. Best of luck with it

So sorry about your job.
I think the social system here for parents is really, to put it mildly, shit.
We can't afford help, the government offers a pittance towards childcare (it's not enough for twins and multiples), we likely earn too much to be eligible for help, our employers pay mums less than dads and magically expect us to deal with work without children around, and the childcare costs have risen ££ astronomically in the last couple years.

I've done this for 3 years now, I can't warrant the cost of clubs for 2 kids Vs what earn. I do work part time in a very flexible job though. I think it massively depends on how the children get along together, mine quite like each other and if I insist on a screen free morning etc, they will happily play with Lego for hours. I do also every now and then tell them if they want to play on the switch they have to do 6 just dance songs first to get some exercise😆. I definitely have constant guilt however, either that I should be doing something with them if I'm working or that I'm behind on work if take a day off.... Oh and the house is a tip. I just think that it's only a few weeks so we'll all survive.

Never mind the kids (PPs have covered that!) what do your bosses think?

We’ve had pretty spotty childcare since June 15th. BUT, DH was on sabbatical, I took some holiday days, we had a nanny do short hours, she did some summer camps, more nanny… and we both have seriously flexible jobs with a light workload. And it’s been just about ok… but I think I not helped DD being out of organized childcare for 12 weeks (not UK). Day camp is $500-600 a week for 9-4, nanny is $1200/week. I’d love to pay UK childcare costs!

Had to do it during Covid when schools shut down and everything went WFH, neither me or DH were furloughed so had to still work full time with a 5yr old, and we were in a local lockdown area so March 2020 - September 2020 before we were able to send her back to school.

Nearly went insane, actually nearly broke, and that was joust with 1 child to keep entertained while working.

It's definitely not an ideal situation for any of you, but too late to do much about it now as we're half way through the holidays, you say you have no family nearby who could jump in and holiday care isn't affordable to you right now.

You need to crisis plan for the next few weeks.

• are there any free activity sessions taking place nearby that you could get the 5 yr olds into at least. Look for youth clubs/council run sessions/library activities. They usually only run partial days like 10-2 but if they're nearby your DH might be able to drop them in quickly on a break, then have a few hours of peace while they're having fun and socialising with other kids.
• set up a 'bored board' a long list of activities they can do that he can point to every time they say they're bored or get restless - drawing competition best picture of a cat on a rocket to the moon wins, Lego tallest towers can they build one as tall as themselves, read a book and then design a new character, make barbie clothes out of balloons (loads of videos on YouTube), give their dolls/action figures a bubble bath.
• set up rewards charts so they can earn an outing at the weekend, or an activity like baking a cake, or a family film watching extravaganza with ice cream sundaes and popcorn.

Then you need to long term plan for next summer because you can't do this again. Set aside funds monthly so you have it for the childcare bill over the summer. Research holiday clubs, there are some great ones if you look around, we have a trampoline park, rugby club and outdoor pursuits centre that run them but aren't advertised on any of the childcare sites so you do need to search.

*Then you need to long term plan for next summer because you can't do this again.

Actually she can, her children are safe, they have adult supervision and aren’t at risk of harm. Who is to say she can’t muddle through summer if that’s what she needs to do. Folk talking about neglect maybe need a reality check of what neglect actually looks like.

It’s not easy sorting childcare for summer, since Covid many, many places have shut down. Not everyone has access to a range of activities that will keep children during the whole of the working day, not everyone has money to throw at it, not everyone has family or friends support. The OP is doing the best with what she has, her children are clothed, fed, cared for - what do people get from berating her?

Also op's kids do not do well in large groups as she's mentioned. So it is not the case of not taking them to football, rugby, art etc camps. There's no point sending your kids to camp and then worrying about them being ok if they won't ask for help with their shorts. It's not like this is going to happen next year and she has said she'll be taking the last two weeks off. Sometimes things happen and unless you have family close by there's not much you can do but to suck it up. Hang in there op, hopefully next year they'll be better in groups and you can send them to a few camps.

I did this for the last 2 years when DS2 was 12 and 13 ie too old to be shunted off to play schemes and sports camps (unless he was very keen) yet too young to be entirely independent and not need me.
It was horrendous. I am a lone parent, living rurally, WFH in a brain intensive job, and DS and his peers seemed to be somewhat behind socially (due to lockdown I believe) when it came to arranging to do stuff ie not able or willing to sort things out themselves yet not wanting to be "managed" by parents.

It's much better this year, in part due to him going out with his mates and gym etc and also me being able to take 3 weeks leave.

I felt I was neither a good parent or a good colleague.

Not much on MN makes me cross, but I really don't think this is ok. And the more you post, the worse it gets, because you just dig yourself deeper - you could have got a childminder, but chose not to because of "a bad experience last year". Oh purlease.

Twin 5 year olds. No.

Years ago, My 2 were happy at home, pottering, but that's because 3 days a week, when I worked, they went to cheap subsidised local sports holiday club at their local school. I know these things so cheaply and running most of the summer now don't exist , so I have sympathy. But there are others alternatives. Yes you might have to spend more, drive further to it, but all that takes is effort and planning.

My 2 adored their school one. Which they adored. And often asked me to work more so that they could go more often!! I do remember one year it not running all weeks, so having to drive to a one further away, right pain, but I did it.

Your husband works on a project July to September and he can't take a day off. Really?

"Not everyone can afford lots of childcare. "

Yes, but basics are required. If you work, but you can't afford childcare, for some or most of the time, then something is fundamentally wrong isn't it.

Blimey, what a nightmare thread; clearly a wrong place for support.

I think your children will be fine. No one ever hired a nanny to look after me on school holidays and we had 3 months off every summer. We didn’t need to be entertained, we made up our own activities.

Your children are lucky to grow up in a loving home with 2 parents who cook for them and care for them! I would just delete this thread if I was you; and forget that you ever posted.