Page 5 | Has anyone gone without any childcare for an entire summer?

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 14/08/2023 07:54

Bloody hell! Give the poor OP a break. OP this is an unforeseen event that is not going to damage your children for the rest of their lives. Sensible plan in my opinion. Yes, it's a tough few weeks but you're doing the best you can. Sending you, your DH and the children all the best and kudos for getting through it.

Ollifer · 14/08/2023 07:55

My manager knows I have a five year old at home for some of the summer whilst working. I just can't afford paid childcare this year and it sucks. I have to work late at night once she's in bed. And during the day I'm juggling working with taking her out on bike rides, playing, the usual stuff I do with her on weekends. It's shit but I don't really have a choice and my employer luckily having three young children himself is very understanding.

Ollifer · 14/08/2023 07:55

My manager knows I have a five year old at home for some of the summer whilst working. I just can't afford paid childcare this year and it sucks. I have to work late at night once she's in bed. And during the day I'm juggling working with taking her out on bike rides, playing, the usual stuff I do with her on weekends. It's shit but I don't really have a choice and my employer luckily having three young children himself is very understanding.

Allsweep · 14/08/2023 07:57

Pandaflop · 13/08/2023 22:55

they will leave them to their own devices and nobody really engages them

This is whats happening at home anyway. Start looking for something early for next summer.

Exactly! A little bit nuts that the OP thinks them playing video games for hours is superior childcare to a holiday club because this way they can come and find a parent when the tablet is out of battery

Allsweep · 14/08/2023 07:59

I did have a tiny amount of sympathy until the OP said she was in London. We are too and there are so many holiday club options - some are extremely cheap and run by voluntary or community organisations, these are mostly short hours but could work if the OP's DH can nip out of work to do drop offs and pick ups.

panko · 14/08/2023 08:00

Chalatte · 13/08/2023 21:50

Doing this with my kids (9&5) this summer. We spent a large chunk on classes for the older one, plus due to reasons (usual CM not available and budget) we decided just not to have any childcare at all. It has been okay so far, but as both work we try to get our kids to do as much screenfree time as possible and then switch them on to their tablets/tvs/switch until one of us becomes free to deal with them again. We are able to care for them but just not engage them the whole time, which I'm a bit guilty about.
Any solidarity/words of advice is welcome!

Right so you're working for 4 out of 6 weeks?

I'd make the most of the 2 weeks. Personally I'd have split up the weeks.

I don't think you should be attempting this to next year look at unpaid parental leave.

ClimbingThroughTheWindow · 14/08/2023 08:01

A few suggesting unpaid parental leave, maybe they can’t afford that.

panko · 14/08/2023 08:01

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 14/08/2023 07:54

Bloody hell! Give the poor OP a break. OP this is an unforeseen event that is not going to damage your children for the rest of their lives. Sensible plan in my opinion. Yes, it's a tough few weeks but you're doing the best you can. Sending you, your DH and the children all the best and kudos for getting through it.

It's not unforseen.

And manu people who worked from home and juggled childcare through covid would agree it's not fair on the kids or the employer

panko · 14/08/2023 08:02

ClimbingThroughTheWindow · 14/08/2023 08:01

A few suggesting unpaid parental leave, maybe they can’t afford that.

Fine but they can't work for a month with kids.

BrutusMcDogface · 14/08/2023 08:03

user1492757084 · 14/08/2023 05:39

At five and nine years old I would only allow one or two screen type hours per day. You really have to set your home up like a KIndergarten.
Set up stations of craft, painting options, baking, asign cleaning tasks (kids love a small job), have large building pillows, books, games - cards and others.
Nine years olds love to make dolls clothes, write songs, design Christmas cards and there is bound to be a large - long project that they want to do like learning a musical instument..

The five year old is doing well to amuse herself and possibly would love to play outside making a den with ply and boxes and chairs and set up a pet - like a mini tortoise or crab tank, ant farm or teach a cat some skills.
You could involve your kids in making you snacks, stopping you for breaks at set times and planning the daily walk pathway.
Do the kids seem happy?
That is the test.

“Teach a cat some skills”??!!

😂😂😂

OP- sounds like you’re doing the very best you can, with the cards you’ve been dealt. Ignore the judgy replies on this thread.

ClimbingThroughTheWindow · 14/08/2023 08:03

Fine but they can't work for a month with kids.

Well they are.... so you’ll just have to deal with that. 😂

ichundich · 14/08/2023 08:05

Not using clubs for my older one because she's refused them this year. But she is 12 and very hood at occupying herself; also has had a few friends over for play dates and sleepovers. It's what I used to do when I was a kid, and I've turned out alright (even though I do say so myself).

ConnieTucker · 14/08/2023 08:08

mightymam · 13/08/2023 22:19

Me- I've done this with my preschoolers because money has been tight recently (husband in between jobs) and I shall never do it again. Mine have turned feral and I'm willing to make significant cuts next time if we're in the same financial position to make sure they're attending something!!!

If your husband is in between jobs, why isnt he the childcare?

Ginola2345 · 14/08/2023 08:13

Chalatte · 13/08/2023 22:15

I have 2 weeks off at the end of the month so it's not the entire 6 weeks. The first two weeks were a tuition for my eldest (9-430) and my partner would take them to and from the class to drop her off, and stop at the park on the way home.

He has a flexible WFH job and we did try going no screens until 11AM, cook them fresh meals, do no screen time at lunch, and every evening after work take them out for a walk/run to the park, so they aren't totally indoor bound. Still I know it's not ideal. I can't take the entire six weeks and partner has a deadline so he can't take any time off at all. We're a bit tight for money because the tuition cost close to a grand, and our childminder is not available this summer so we didn't see the point finding a random stranger to watch our kids (we had a bad experience when we did this last summer)

To balance it out we do take them out to parks regularly and try to compensate on the weekend, and the 2 days I'm home I will make sure we do more offscreen time. This has been harrowing and I'm counting the days down to my time off so I can make i tup to them...

Do you not have a holiday club or anything similar near you where at least your children could socialise with others or do you not have any annual leave left? Or can you not take any time off at all before they go back to school?

This is a dreadful situation for you, your DC and your employer.

I only worked part time but used to take a goodly chunk of annual leave and time off in lieu over the school summer holidays some of which would be for a family holiday the rest would be to be with my kids and avoid them having to go to holiday clubs too often.

bladebladebla1 · 14/08/2023 08:19

Omm · 14/08/2023 05:09

Blimey, what a nightmare thread; clearly a wrong place for support.

I think your children will be fine. No one ever hired a nanny to look after me on school holidays and we had 3 months off every summer. We didn’t need to be entertained, we made up our own activities.

Your children are lucky to grow up in a loving home with 2 parents who cook for them and care for them! I would just delete this thread if I was you; and forget that you ever posted.

Mumsnet is literally the worst place for support at the min. Be seen some of the worst responses over the last week or so. There's literally no point being on here for advice at the min, it's so sad.

Jellycatspyjamas · 14/08/2023 08:25

I think parents need to factor the cost in when deciding whether to have more children. We stopped at 2 because we couldn't afford a third 🤷🏻‍♀️

I’m guessing the OP didn’t plan for her second to be twins. Maybe she should pick one to raffle to pay for childcare 🤦‍♀️

panko · 14/08/2023 08:26

ClimbingThroughTheWindow · 14/08/2023 08:03

Fine but they can't work for a month with kids.

Well they are.... so you’ll just have to deal with that. 😂

They aren't. They're doing a half arsed attempt at working. Which is fine as long as their employer doesn't find out.

panko · 14/08/2023 08:27

ConnieTucker · 14/08/2023 08:08

If your husband is in between jobs, why isnt he the childcare?

Show quote history

I'm guessing job interviews?

Wisenotboring · 14/08/2023 08:30

It's hard to make out exactly what you have done. Did you take your leave at the same time as the course? That seems a bit of a shame if so. On balance, £1000 seems very high for 1 week of a club. You could have bought far more experiences for that kind of money and I would have been inclined to try and do that. It really isn't ideal and I would worry about the welfare of 5 year old especially left to their own devices. I'm increasingly aware of children just hanging around home while parents work. It seems to have increased since covid and wfh. I'm not sure what the answer is, other than some very big lifestyle changes but developmentally children aren't designed to hand around parents working. Is it possible for you to get to know a young person who you could use for occasional babysitting to build a relationship with a view to perhaps having an au pair/nanny type set up next summer so this doesn't happen again. The other more obvious solution is to select a childminder who isn't term time only.
I recognise the pressure on families are immense but I really do worry as this set up becomes more prevalent we are going to start hearing of more horrible accidents happening over the holidays.

SilverDrawer · 14/08/2023 08:31

Sometimes support means being told you need to make changes, though.

HorsePlatitudes · 14/08/2023 08:33

Sounds miserable for you all.
I just think these long summer holidays are an absolutely massive burden for working families.

manontroppo · 14/08/2023 08:39

I think this is shit, and if you were my employee I’d be having words (and this is why people are being made to come back to the office).

You’ve made a half arsed effort to find childcare, decided you don’t like it and think you’re onto a good wheeze that saves yourself lots of money. As PPs have said, if you can afford a grand on tuition, you can afford some holiday clubs. If your kids don’t like one club, you try another one. And sometimes they just have to suck it up because their parents need to work to keep a roof over their heads.

I feel sorry for the kids - all day for weeks with a distracted parent sounds rubbish, given they are so young.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 14/08/2023 08:39

QuitChewingMyPlectrum · 14/08/2023 07:54

Bloody hell! Give the poor OP a break. OP this is an unforeseen event that is not going to damage your children for the rest of their lives. Sensible plan in my opinion. Yes, it's a tough few weeks but you're doing the best you can. Sending you, your DH and the children all the best and kudos for getting through it.

How is the school holidays an unforseen event?

Blondeshavemorefun · 14/08/2023 08:49

Dd6 goes to summer club 9/3 at her school with school friends twice a week as I work nights and I literally can't cope with 6w with no sleep

Did it the summer before she started school aa at 4.5 she was too young but almost killed me in sleep deprivation and made me a grumpy mummy

This is much better

It's £25 a session so £50 a week so £300 for summer hols and I saved for it earlier in the year knowing I would need to pay it

Dd is good at playing by herself and then can have some tv /iPad but I wouldn't leave her to her own devices all day /holidays as not fair to her

Yes those saying did it in covid - as no choice

You had a choice and spent £1k on tuition this not having funds for rest of holidays and kids

Soopermum1 · 14/08/2023 08:49

I took a few days off (just started a new job) and DP has taken a few days off as well. We have a 2 week family holiday coming up and DD is already at the holiday destination with her grandmother. There's been some holiday club as well. So, we switch it up and cover the time while trying to space out the times at holiday club. Couldn't have her at home while we work, she'd go nuts. Her dad has refused to have her at all over the break, but we're used to that.

Has anyone gone without any childcare for an entire summer?

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