What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

Far too cool to enjoy things the masses like! I know the feeling. I'm really cool too.

And imagine, people wanting to spend time with you! Losers, right?!

It's true. Well, nothing to do with London but yes, some beggars do have card machines.

Some do - and not just in London. Seen a few where I live near Southampton.

LylaLee· Today 00:04

I've no idea what happened in the end, he stalked off and I carried on getting paint! I hope no unfortunate member of staff got a bollocking.

I feel for you. I am blond and have obvious mixed race children with my features but a slightly darker complexion. I used to get, “where are their parents?”, “have you adopted?”, “are you looking after them?” a lot.

Far too cool to even entertain the concept of a Barbie movie, yes but not too cool to go and watch the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie. Just because the masses think Barbie is great, doesn't mean that it is.

Ex fell for this one, then forgot the oils in the heat of the moment, vanished (to my fury) whilst I was in labour, then turned up with a lavender plant. And didn’t understand why I was shouting at him 😂

Did you say England? He might have thought New England. Same logic could apply to 'We're from Cornwall/Coventry/Cambridge/Bristol/etc'.

two things
Having completed an expensive and unfulfilling helicopter flight from Las Vegas over the top of the Grand Canyon, when returning to the office one of the potential punters asked me if I’d been on tour. I said I went on the helicopter tour and he said how long is the 60 minute tour take?

The second
Have you ever been to a harvesters?

Some friends and I were telling another friend how we'd laughed our lungs out at a show she hadn't come to.
She was suddenly furious and said she doesn't like liars, lungs don't just come out when people laugh.
Tried to explain, but she wasn't having any of it.
Said we were making it up to make fun of her.
Killed the mood and sauntered off.
Never spoke about it again.

Google the Walter Mitty hunters club.

They out people who lie about their service.

The SAS are based in Hereford.

Is she autistic?

My mam was and DS is autistic but they are exceptionally high functioning (mam raised me alone, DS is smart, well behaved, predicted to be really successful by school). One of the most noticeable traits is that they struggle with humour because they take things literally.

This reminds me of the last surgery I had. Was asked if I was allergic to anything and I said that I wasn't, but do have an intolerance to caffeine and soya. Nurse said she would list them as allergies to be on the safe side. Following the surgery, a meal arrived which was a risotto with edamame beans (young soya beans).

Thanks

My mum when my brother said he was getting married:

"Oh I've always wanted a daughter in law"

She has 2 daughters

LovelyJubbly12345
That doesn't surprise me at all. My friend (Irish Catholic, very devout) left her husband after years of affairs and abuse to her and her kids. He'd even hit her with a hammer and put her in hospital at one point.
She managed to get a house, and she and the kids left one weekend when he was off with one of the women he was having an affair with.
A few weeks later, her parish priest turned up at the house and said "I think you've made your point, Joan, but marriage vows are sacred to God, and it's time to go back to your husband." Knowing full well what had gone on for years.
Her kids (all in their teens) threw him bodily out of the house, and told him in no uncertain terms not to bother coming back.
I'm not entirely sure, but l believe when she divorced her husband, that priest had her excommunicated.

You're well rid of that lot, seriously. My mother in law was very good friends with this lady, also very devout, went to church a lot. And she supported her 100%.

The second
Have you ever been to a harvesters?

Don't get this one.

My husbands parents are born again Christians, he was born with a physical disability, since being a young child they have told him he’s disabled because he’s a sinner and if he wasn’t a sinner he’d have been born ‘normally’.

Jeez these go from hysterical to WTF to horrific!

And he still talks to them??

God no, they used to send him allowance so he could escape me (they’re also racist) until they found out he was donating it to charities that they would hate

Haha!

When studying A level history and covering Tsar Nicholas a fellow student claimed that female hemophiliacs die once they have their first period and bleed to death.
Another Co-worker thought that Hotel Chocolat was an actual hotel where everything was made out of chocolate.

Surely having a baby with a disability is because they are the sinners. God is giving them a chance to redeem themselves by devoting themselves to the best interests of their child. It's a challenge from God. (I'm speaking as an atheist, so I think the whole thing is bollox but on the whole in the blame-focused types of religion it's never the innocent newborn that's at fault.)

It;s desperately rare but you can get female haemophiliacs. I have just googled and it is about 0.5%.