What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

I’m a lesbian, a co worker once said “but who is the man in the relationship?” I said “no one, that’s kind of the point!”. Got told by an ex friend that two women can’t have sex, so I need to stop referring to what I do with my gf at the time as sex.

So ignorant! What did she think it was, if not sex?

That's the reason why being a lesbian was never against the law. And why women can't commit rape legally. Sex = penis + penetrative sex. That's how many think.

I'm in a same-sex relationship. An ex-friend of mine once asked me if one of us HAD to wear a strap on in bed.

I looked her in the eye and said, Yes. Few people are aware but there is in fact an arcane law that says that when two women are in bed together, one of them legally has to simulate a male role.

The funniest thing was that for a moment, it was clear from her face that she believed me!

My heroin addict exBIL who's never had a job in his 55 years on earth, telling me that he couldn't afford to come to our wedding as not everyone is "lucky enough" to have two jobs (both exH and I are employed)

Did you say something?

Yeah, it’s basically only sex if it involves a man, which is very sexist, but unfortunately the way many think.

@Elsiebear90 ive had who is the man a lot, also ‘have you two considered making porn?’ and my favourite one ‘how do lesbians know when they have finished having sex?’ 😀

I would assume the orgasm gives it away... unless you have a sex life like mine where you just quit mid way because a kid woke up and your tired from being up since the crack of dawn.

I'm assuming that it's only men who have asked you asinine questions like this??

😂 the standard answer is ‘when someone has to get up to let the cat in’ (which is a reference to a tv show taking the piss out of the fact this question is asked so much),

but yeah, the reality is ‘when the sodding kids come banging down the landing because their room is hot and cold and too dark and too light and they are hungry and feel sick and can you sing to them and not make any noise’

@Howlingmoor I can't believe people would ask such personal questions!! So rude and only trying to embarrass you. Idiots

No! The porn thing is more often men (as well as ‘can I take pictures for my website?’) but the others are pretty equally split.

People are odd. It doesn’t embarrass me anymore at all but it was awkward when I was a teenager and blokes approached me/my girlfriend and wanted to take pictures or ask us to be in the porn movies they were making etc.

Or when work colleagues have asked exactly how lesbian sex works… usually totally out of the blue when you are in the middle of something.

Porn is massively high on the list of things that come to mind when people see dykes (until you are fat and middle aged with kids hanging off you 😀)

In the library, asking if they have a copy of The Odyssey by Homer. The librarian asked me if Homer had another name.

Simpson?

Was Homer Simpson creating epic poetry before writing had even been invented? I sincerely hope you are not a librarian

I sincerely hope you’re not serious 🙄

Depends whether playing with your child is what you find hard. I’d find extra pregnancy, childbirth, breast or formula feeding, night waking, washing, cleaning, cooking, changing nappies, weaning, potty training, dressing, refereeing arguments, dealing with multiple varying needs, paying for childcare etc etc etc harder than having one child.

A woman once told me her daughter was allergic to water.

In a nightclub when I was 25, a girl says to me

"Sorry, I'm not being funny, but why would you go out wearing glasses? "

I explained to her that glasses help me to see the fucking idiots when I'm out

We where at a freshers week even that had a bubble machine... one of the freshers was all worked up and yelling at organizers that they can't do that as he is deathly allergic to 'soap and water'.

People kept asking 'how do you wash then?', which he refused to answer.

I know you can be allergic to certain TYPES of soap and cleaning supplies (I am myself) but I have never died from or known anyone to die from the presence of bubbles (or exposure to ANY soap and water).

My niece and nephew are! Not deathly allergic but they come out in hives at any water that isn’t out of their tap at home. Their skin is crazily sensitive to almost everything.

Paddling pools, swimming pools, baths at Grandma’s new house (not the old house which was on the same street as them). Sitting on grass, bouncy castles, Astro turf. Anything new or out of the ordinary means they then both have violent looking rashes.

Apart from being mildly itchy it doesn’t affect them too much, but we always say they are allergic to water even though that’s not strictly true.

@RedPanda2022 she probably was!

https://allergyasthmanetwork.org/health-a-z/chronic-urticaria/aquagenic-urticaria/#:~:text=Treatments%20are%20available.-,Can%20someone%20be%20allergic%20to%20water%3F,wheezing%20or%20shortness%20of%20breath.

Those 4-fingered ancestors of ours were highly talented you know.