What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

My dd wants to adopt (no known fertility issues) I think it's (and she) is amazing.

@FormerlyPathologicallyHappy

Serious question. Why is that a ridiculous thing to say? I love the sound of the seagulls when I'm at the beach. I live about 35 miles from it, so do get them flying over sometimes, and I really enjoy the sound.

Why should she back off? If people are going to spout judgemental drivel, they can expect to be called up on it.

My friend is from Belfast and one of her favourite stories is about a break time at work where a new member of staff who had recently moved to Ireland (can’t remember where from)-

he sat down with her and shifted about sort of muttering about how he ‘knew about Ireland’ and like you she thought he was gearing up to ask something about the ira/orange marches/Protestant v Catholic etc, when he very earnestly asked “So, how did your family cope with the potato famine?”

Sun in still exists?!? 😳

The hair of anyone who uses it doesn't!

What does this mean?

That's shocking .

@ThelmaBorden

>dressed funkily, DFL’s,

What are DFLs?

😂😂 this wins

Agreed. She was commenting in a congratulatory way “delighted to see you can eat now” kind of way

From Alan Osmond (if you’re under fifty you might need to Google but famous member of 70s pop group) this man is very Mormon so religious. Told me that my son would not have been born with brain damage (hospital negligence) had I been married to my partner and my baby hadn’t been conceived out of wedlock!!!! It was my fault for fraternising with the devil!! He also had told other people their children would go to hell for being gay etc!!

from my stepmonster who hates me: when we were going through the legal case for my son we had seen top experts top professors etc for the case to get evidence etc. Numerous people had commented on his cerebral palsy. She then said well I don’t believe he has cerebral palsy because he’s not all twisted up like this and mimicked a person who would be a severely affected by spastic cerebral palsy with their arms and face etc. She also said consultants would never make such a mistake (again proven legally and also admitted by hospital)! As I said to her well all the experts and the high court court believe it so it’s really not something I’m making up lol

from an American in Oxford: so are we in London

from an American cab driver when finding out I’m English oh my daughter lives in the Uk, I can’t recall where, she lives near a big roundabout, do you know it?

This wasn't said to me, but was overheard by my colleague. She was standing behind some American tourists, in an Edinburgh gift shop. The first American commented on how beautiful Edinburgh Castle was. Her companion replied, that Yes, it was, but what a shame they built it so close to the railway. 🙄

Comprehensive schoolgirl asked form tutor "Why are you so short,miss?" To which teacher replied," Because,Amy, I got caught in the rain and shrank!" Names changed to protect the innocent.

My first husband turned out to be a serial cheat. Tried to sleep with all of my friends and even some very close relatives.

I stuck it out for years longer than I should have done, but when I eventually left him as I couldn't take any more, the stance from his Catholic family was :

"Well, he was just having a bit of fun, whereas LovelyJubbly is breaking up a family"

Yes, I was the villain of the piece. Not one of his family EVER spoke to me again, despite us being in each others lives for 20 years. Not one phone call to see if I was okay. I was the monster.

One from my schooldays…

A friend asked a few of us if we’d seen the documentary about aliens the previous night. We all said we hadn’t, but something about the way she was describing it rang a bell.

Anyway, the next week she asked us again; this episode had been about people’s bodies actually being taken over by aliens. “It was really interesting!” I was thinking “Surely it can’t have been a documentary…” but again, something about what she was saying sounded familiar.

Then it clicked. I said “Emma, this documentary - was one of the presenters a very tall dark-haired man? And the other one a very short redhead?”

”Yeah, that’s right! Did you see it?”

”Erm, Emma? I think you might have been watching The X-Files”.

Many years ago first born in icu after a traumatic emergency caesarean and resuscitation.
Sister who happened to.answer the phone when I called my mum
Me. Is mum there?
Sister. Just nipped out , everything OK?
Me. Not really. Baby in icu.
Sister. Oh mum said you'd had the baby.
Me. Yes. He isn't well we don't know if he will live.
Sister. Awww bless. Give him a kiss from me.
Me. He's in an incubator and we can just hold his hand.
Sister. Oh well. Sure he'll be fine.

19 years later I settled my sons claim for negligence against nhs. No contact with family despite trying over the years.

Same I was in Asda picking up steroids for my long covid while some fat middle age white man with a booming football hooligan voice was abusing the poor lady behind the counter for wearing a mask because 'we all know its made up you sheep' demanding she take it off etc...

As I tried to leave he yelled the classic 'cheer up love, it might never happen'... what Covid? it already did thats why I'm here you ignoramus. What a class 1 bellend he was.

Local shopkeeper: "We're having a poor summer because of all the weather manipulation that goes on."

Er - right... I'll be careful not to trip over your tinfoil hat as I leave.

Actually, there is lots of evidence to suggest that not wearing a bra means your breasts are far less likely to sag as you get older. Obviously, there are some variables, such as large breasted women would obviously feel much more comfortable wearing a bra. I have a friend in her late sixties whose breasts don't sag and she often went bra-less when she was younger. My adult DD has small breasts and I always encourage her not to wear a bra unless she is wearing something that makes it necessary.

If you know you know.

Many years ago I was driving along and my girlfriend was telling me about a problem with a difficult customer her team had to deal with at work. When she finished the story I said: "Well, as they say in Paris - c'est la vie".
She looked at me, puzzled, and asked - why do they say celery in Paris??

from an American in Oxford: so are we in London

On a train going through Oxford -

Family pointing excitedly out of the window at a building: 'That one must be the University'!

I didn't wear bras until my mid 20s, I now wear a bra most the time.

I have one perky tit (honestly like a brand new teen boob) and one saggy tit (what you would likely expect of a middle age woman whose had 4 kids).

The reason I started wearing bras is due to the saggy one. Wearing a bra for the last decade has not effected the perky one at all.

I like the perky one, I can live with the saggy one too... but god wish they bloody matched.

Most recently, the most ridiculous thing anyone has ever said to me was 'Come and watch the Barbie movie!'