What's the most ridiculous thing anyone has said to you?

[chimamandafan]

I occasionally volunteer at a local community centre. It's managed by a woman who tells anyone who cares to listen that she has a medical condition that means she can't eat. She looks well-nourished but I've always been too polite to ask her questions about her condition.

I volunteered at an afternoon event today. I get the seniors to their seats and make pots of tea. Cake was served. The woman who never eats was standing there eating cake.

'Look at you, eating cake! Are you better?' I said. 'Oh,' she said, 'you know me, you know I can't eat because of my medical condition.' 'But you're eating...' She walked off and is apparently really pissed off with me. Apparently I'm rude.

There are some real weirdos around, aren't there?

“I don’t understand why Alaska is really cold and Hawaii is really hot - they’re right next to each other on the map”

But my (very worrying) favourite was “So I know I voted for him, but who is Mr Brexit? I see Mr Cameron on telly all the time, but not him.”

Sorry, this is the one that wins 🤣

Rather scarily tbh a health visitor told me "I need to drink milk to make milk "as in breastfeeding. And that at 7pm each night my boobs would fill up with milk ready for the next day . I kid you not! Luckily I knew she was talking rubbish

lolol at the 'weighed half a pound at birth' woman.

Stranded at a railway station during a snowstorm (when trying to get home after university admission interviews), the slightly creepy male station master said 'Oh, I never knew they let birds into university' when I answered his question about where I'd been.

Someone once told me (in utter seriousness) that the homeless people in London have card reader machines to take payments.

Big Issue sellers do!

I got told to stay indoors by my GP when suffering from severe acne as "it's not nice for people to have to look at your face".

Another one....

For context, I'm (partially) deaf.

Someone said to me oh you can't be deaf you're too young?! Yes because I just wear hearing aids for the lols. 😂

@TheLightSideOfTheMoon To be fair, a lot of Big Issue sellers do have card machines now so they might have been referring to that.

I love this 🤣

We’ve had some funny comments about how ‘we’ made our children and we’re two men 🤣 no matter how hard we try, it won’t work!!!

When I was proudly showing of an ultrasound of dc1 when I was pregnant someone told me it was rude to show people photos of my insides.

One of dh's elderly relatives told me I shouldn't go on trains because apparently "nice girls" get a coach, not a train.

My 10 year old has moderate learning disability with an iq of about 50. My FIL keeps making "helpful suggestions" of what job he could do in the future. 90% of these jobs require a degree. Apparently me saying that realistically he's not going to get a degree is being negative. I know it's a long way off but at age 10 he can't write, spell or use punctuation.

That my sister is gay because our parents divorced 🙄🙄

How they explained me being straight I'll never know ?!

That spending a year in Oz would solve my low melanin situation (I'm one of those very pale/blue freckly sorts) and I'd come back brown as a berry (which is not a saying that makes sense if you think about it, never seen a brown berry) ... As though I'd never thought of exposing myself to sun before and was just a latent tanned lovely waiting to happen.

That's a real belief, although I imagine he's quite old as it's quite an old fashioned one.

I've had plenty said to me, one of the worst was when I was about 15 and someone found out my ethnicity "so why aren't you married then?"

Sil, “I’m vegetarian but I eat bacon” a hither to unknown subsection of vegetarianism. But I’ve seen her send dishes back with bacon because she’s veggie 🤔

Theres more but I’ve been accused of being a troll before talking about her.

I stayed in a B+B recently which advertised that it had internet. In fact it "didn't have wifi" as the hostess was "extremely sensitive to it" and if any wifi is switched on in the house, it "boils her blood".

Instead they gave us ethernet cables (yards of the buggers, which then didn't work). FK how they took our booking over the internet in the first place ---

Boils the blood? Fries the brain, more like.

My DD announced when she was 6 that she would be a vegetarian who hate ham.

I used to know someone who claimed they were veggie but eats chicken

I'd have said the same as you OP. I think it's rude of her to spout bollocks about not eating when she clearly does.

"I can tell you right now that he (ds) does not have autism because he is making eye contact with me" - from a neurodiversity specialist (adhd assessor). 10months later he was diagnosed high functioning ASD

You look like Madonna.

Either

That it was ok for my ds with a cows milk allergy to eat cake with butter in it because it's not milk it's butter

or

that ds doesn't have asd he is naughty and just needs to told firmly how to behave

Son's foreign girlfriend asked if we have rainbows in the uk.

What does this mean?

That by wearing my prosthetic so often I was going to stunt the natural growth of my leg.

I was a fully grown adult at the time- he meant my regrowth, as in I was limiting how well my amputated leg would grow back.
I was too suprised to say anything but my friend, who was with me at the time, said " what are you on about?? she's not a fucking starfish"