My dh hasn’t paid the rent ffs

[RentNotPaid]

Soo I’ve just had a call from our letting agent went to voicemail as I was on a call and my fucking husband hasn’t paid the rent for the last 2 months….

The bastard is at work and his phone has been switched off

I don’t have the money to pay it all - I did wonder why he had some extra money

We have separate accounts he pays rent etc I pay other bills it all works out fair

I am so bloody angry I daren’t phone the letting agent back and I’m off to check his emails 😡😡😡

Any update OP?
The drama on this thread is something else 😂
Chances are it was a blip and all is well now, let's not have him hung drawn and quartered until OP has spoken to her husband

I think if the 2 of you come up with a repayment schedule it will be accepted. Not your only issue I know. Make the next payment on time. And agree a plan over so many months for the 2 months arrears.

I think it's possible to both think that there may have been a simple human error or oversight AND to want to have reassurances to that effect (and that it can be sorted) ASAP. There was nothing wrong with the OP calling her husband when she did and not waiting until lunchtime - if he was in a Teams meeting and there's a receptionist then he's clearly not a surgeon or a pilot or someone who can't be disturbed at work. For many (most?) of us, we work to live not live to work; work is what we do to pay the bills rather than being the most sacrosanct of holies, and if he hasn't paid one of the most important bills then there's nothing wrong in trying to contact him to find out why not!

Direct debit the company is in charge of and can take whatever money out of your account they want - for example a mobile phone company or utility company take a direct debit from your account for whatever your bill is that month.

Standing order is a payment you set up from your own account for a set amount and only you can vary that - would typically be used for a cost that is paid at set intervals at a set amount, e.g. rent.

What about the lack of respect that the husband has shown to the OP. He's ignoring her messages, she's seen he's been online to view them. There's no way he's been stuck in a meeting all morning and throughout the lunchtime. He'll have left the meeting for a loo stop at the very least. He could easily have pinged her a quick message or email to explain or tell her when he can call her back. He's basically been ghosting her for about 5 hours now! That's a complete lack of respect and he is causing the OP stress and anxiety. Being out of contact for an hour or two in a meeting is fair enough - 5 hours is taking the piss!

First post was at 9.33am last one 12.14, how does that make five hours?

OP hasn't posted for two hours.

You can't always "ping" someone a message in a meeting, especially if you're presenting. Its rude.

He saw OPs message and didn't reply for a few minutes, that's all we know since OP hasn't been back for a couple of hours. Presumably he was investigating the situation / sorting it out before calling her back.

But he's at work. None of us know what he does or whether being incommunicado for 5 hours is for work reasons or if he's hiding from the OP.

He might be in back to back meetings, doing training or all manner of other things that means he can't speak to the OP within a morning.

How do you get 5 hours? Despite the post, the OP does not need to come back. Her husband is at work. I often have meetings where I can’t return messages or speak to someone.

Just following up on this, the time between OP saying he'd seen the messages and her last post was a grand total of.... 10 whole minutes.

I'm not sure "taking more than 10 mins to reply" qualifies as ignoring or disrespectful. He may have seen them quickly while going back to his desk and didn't get the chance to read them properly for a couple of minutes. He may have needed to check his bank account and emails before responding.

Not everyone operates on a hair trigger.

She said he had now seen her message at 12:04 and her last message was at 1214 and you call that ghosting?

Have you ever worked? Not all jobs have the flexibility to be taking personal phonecalls at all times or to manage larger situations like this (it isn't one quick call) at any given time. Also given the anger and name calling, I wouldn't be calling back quickly from work either. A barrage of verbal abuse from an angry spouse who assumes the worst about me isn't a call I would rush to return nor one I want coworkers to hear.

Although the assumption by you and others is just that he is a useless lazy asshole who intentionally didn't pay the rent, life and people are more complex than that and he may have thought it was paid or there is an explanation beyond him just choosing to not pay the rent. He may have wanted to look at his bank statements or check his emails or look into the situation before dealing with the name calling and anger coming his way.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

A direct debit is set up by the receiver of the money. If it was the case here, which is extremely unlikely, the agent would have used the direct debit process to collect the money and if it had failed to collect, contacted the tenant. As I say, this is possible but unlikely.

A standing order is set up by the payer to pay someone a set amount regularly. When you arrange the standing order in your banking you say when to end it. There's at least one bank that has the option of 12 months as part of the set up. It not definitely this issue, but its a possibility - I've seen it many times in my experience of chasing money owed often from reliable people who are very embarrassed when they notice their error.

I've worked for 40 years! In all that time, I've always been able to have a loo break within a five hour period! No one is going to stop him texting a message whilst sat on the loo!

Most people would still think the worst!

Damn.......... I was on the look out for a recently unemployed monkey butler with good references!

Please rule out the letting agents being idiots as well. I've had more than one friend told they owed rent only to find out after months of stress that it had been 'mis allocated' to another tenants account and had in fact been paid on time.

Was others have said, as a landlord myself the last thing I want to be doing is going through the ghastliness of an eviction. Sort this out, communicating with the landlord/agency, and you will be fine.

Clearly not, based on some of the answers on this thread.

I mean you’ll always have your doom and gloom monsters, but most people can rationalise.

Oh God I thought it was just my hubby. Once every few months he'll open his banking app and start randomly asking me what I bought in River Island at £30, or 'ohh McDonald's when did you go there' if I ever see that app being opened I'm out of there lol

Doesn’t he realise we are all waiting for him?? I think that is SLIGHTLY more important than his meeting.

seriously though, I hope it was just a mistake and it’s all ok.

Maybe the account was slightly short and the standing order payment didn’t go through, it will re-attemp a few times but won’t take any lesser amount. Maybe that’s what happened because of his sick leave, he was paid less and just thought it was all operating as normally.

How is it five hours?

it started at 9.33 and last post was 12.14 is less than three hours.

I'd be furious, stressed and worried. ExH used to do this: not pay the mortgage and not tell me anything. I'd find out when debt collectors started showing up and then he'd deny everything. It's a despicable thing to do.

I hope your DH has a good explanation and the money's in his account to sort it out today.

And his phone was switched off most of that time!

I really hate it when I’m totally invested and looking for minute to minute updates but the OP don’t come back to update

note to self: do your work!

Ditto