Crohn’s Disease- humiliated by receptionist at doctors

[KnittingMania]

I’m at doc surgery rn waiting for my appt. I have Crohn’s Disease and have to access toilet unexpectedly up to 12 times a day or more. So Sod’s Law it happened while waiting here. Immediately after I exited the toilet, having tried my best to mitigate odours by cleaning etc, the receptionist bustled out and went straight into toilet, huffed loudly, went elsewhere with lots of door banging and came back with air freshener. She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area.

I cannot help being ill. I avoid so many things bc of this miserable and embarrassing illness. I thought I could feel safe at doc’s. They could provide air freshener in the toilet. But my point is wider- no one should be shamed by their illness in a doc surgery.

I would like to complain. Should I? It’s kind of embarrassing doing this. But I feel she should learn and raise her levels of understanding.

She needs to be made more aware for sure.

Yes complain to the practice manager copying in the gp you saw that day

Write a complaint.

You’re still waiting to be seen? Tell the GP during your appointment. Use the words “humiliated” and “shamed for having a disability”. She’s in the wrong job and deserves to be pulled up on it.

It must be a lot worse having Crohn’s. When did everyone get like this?

Yes, I would complain to the practice manager. It's totally fine to sort out the loo after, as really yes, it does affect others and it can be unpleasant even if not your fault (I have a condition similar to Crohn's and also have to make lots of unpleasant emergency toilet trips). But there is a way to do it and there is a way not to do it, and it sounds like perhaps she just needs a bit of reminding to be a bit more sensitive.

Aw OP I would complain. I have IBS and that's bad enough and leaves me caught short sometimes. I can only imagine how much worse Crohns is to deal with. It's not on, her trying to embarrass you like that.

What an utter bitch

The receptionist was insensitive, I would make a complaint so the staff can learn from it.

Personally I would’ve said it to her face at the time. I’m fed up enough to say to her “Your huffing and puffing is completely inappropriate. I have Crohn’s Disease, and if you work in a medical building then you need to accept that people are going to be unwell”. I’ve had a chronic illness for years and I’m done with being polite to people like that.

I know it’s easy to say that with hindsight, but the next best thing is to make a complaint.

People who are squeamish about this stuff should not be working in a medical setting.

The VIPoo is a good shout if they do travel sprays and feel it would help your confidence when out and about. Dh uses it at home occasionally and they work well.

You would not be unreasonable to write a letter telling them about their staffs unacceptable behaviour and how it made you feel. If possible name/describe the individual as it sounds more like a person problem than a general one.

I have a bowel disease too. I have to say that when inflamed, my BM’s smell like fishy vomit. It’s much worse than normal, and her ott dramatics were uncalled for. You should have asked to speak to the practice manager. I guess it’s not too late. Do you know her name?

That’s horrible OP. I do always wait until the person responsible has left the building and the waiting room has quietened down before clinell wiping the seat where the stinking inncontinent old man has sat, or spraying air freshener around the building - not least because I really wouldn’t want to set off anyone with breathing difficulties! I would also incorporate into a general cleaning routine as well (I.e. wiping down desk, door handle etc) so as not to make it quite so obvious.
No need for the bustling and banging around.

Thanks so much for your support. I will mention to doc and write to practice manager. If only to help those who come after. @BBno4 clearly I’m aware that it’s not a great odour - however it’s not more ‘foul’ as you kindly put it with Crohns, because things don’t stay in the gut long and it’s mostly water - tmi but there you go. and I usually have some spray with me. But that is the core reason why this disease- which I didn’t ask for- is humiliating. It wasn’t that she did it, it was the way she did it. And if they would leave some air freshener in the toilet of doctors - where ill people go- it would be more sensible than making a humiliating display in front of me and everyone else.

Why don’t you carry VIPoo around with you?

She’s gone to use the toilet and it stinks so she’s sprayed air freshener everywhere which is normal. No One else wants to smell it.

@KnittingMania i'm so sorry you had to go through this today. This has really upset even me because i know a friend who has this condition and if anyone was to humiliate him it would really hurt me. I think you should maybe speak to her directly (as kindly as possible which i know will be difficult), this may save someone else from being humiliated in the future xx

She could have done without the huffing and puffing, but an unpleasant smell is an unpleasant smell regardless of the cause.

Thank you for the kind and understanding comments. @Neonyellowfish i do usually. Had to rush here and hadn’t eaten so thought it wouldn’t happen. No one wants to smell it of course. I don’t want to be the creator of it either. But I have a disease I didn’t ask for. Next time you have a tummy bug, imagine having that feeling and those effects but worse and every day of your life.

Don't you have to use VIPoo before you eliminate? Which might not be possible if you have extreme urgency. They should have air freshener in every cubicle and good extractor fans.

Does the receptionist know you have Crohn’s?

Before all these toilet sprays came out that you could carry around, I used to keep a small bottle of essential oil, I.e. lavender or orange or similar with me. A couple of drops and any smell was neutralised quite a bit.

It's quite discreet, the little bottles can be held in your hand.

Because although about 50% of Mumsnetters seem to have a toilet phobia, as with many things Mumsnet doesn’t represent real life. I’ve never seen anyone use VIPoo in real life.

So sorry you had to experience this, OP. I have ulcerative colitis and I would have been upset too. Definitely raise it with the GP or practice manager so they can have a word with the reception staff.

I have Crohn’s too, OP. Do complain - her behaviour was over the top and unpleasant.

And for those of you who have made less than kind comments on this thread - I hope you never have to experience inflammatory bowel disease, because it is (literally) shit.