Crohn’s Disease- humiliated by receptionist at doctors

[KnittingMania]

I’m at doc surgery rn waiting for my appt. I have Crohn’s Disease and have to access toilet unexpectedly up to 12 times a day or more. So Sod’s Law it happened while waiting here. Immediately after I exited the toilet, having tried my best to mitigate odours by cleaning etc, the receptionist bustled out and went straight into toilet, huffed loudly, went elsewhere with lots of door banging and came back with air freshener. She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area.

I cannot help being ill. I avoid so many things bc of this miserable and embarrassing illness. I thought I could feel safe at doc’s. They could provide air freshener in the toilet. But my point is wider- no one should be shamed by their illness in a doc surgery.

I would like to complain. Should I? It’s kind of embarrassing doing this. But I feel she should learn and raise her levels of understanding.

I have an as yet undiagnosed stomach issue. If I go anywhere I need to know in advance the toilet situation. Dh and I went to watch a play at Christmas and by the time I got to the theatre I was getting in a panic. The theatre locked the doors of the toilets until they opened the theatre for seating. By this point I was literally pouring with sweat I went over to someone and said please I’m going to be really unwell. They made a big song and dance about unlocking the door then I was tutted and moaned at as I skipped the queue apologising the whole time.
I just about made it to the loo. And I heard people snickering and saying I was disgusting.
I stayed locked in the cubicle for at least twenty minutes in tears.

My point is OP complain - people with bowel problems don’t need to feel even shitter (sorry) than they do already .

Probably the same doctor's receptionist who spoke to me like I was stupid when I was in the middle of a scary panic attack.
I've witnessed her humiliating other patients too in front of a waiting room full of people.

I have ulcerative colitis @KnittingMania

I hope you’re okay, what she did was absolutely terrible behaviour and I would have felt just as you do.

I would probably have gone to the bitch and explained very politely that I have uc, apologise my illness had upset her and let her know she had just embarrassed me in front of the people in the waiting room.

I would then email the practice manager and copy in the doctors who are partners at the practice.

Yes. Complain about the behaviour. The behaviour was rude, public and rather bullying in a doctor's surgery context, and the lack of freshener shows lack of thoughtfulness.

Accept your part. Own that your illness means these things can happen.
Understand and empathise that her people's smells can be very unpleasant to walk into, to the point of disgust reaction.

And carry the remedy around in your bag. Air freshener etc. Striking a match can dispell the smell but be aware that it can also trigger fire alarm, smoke detectors and sprinklers!

Other people, not her people …

I’m so sorry that sounds really hard. Please do complain.

I'm sorry about your experience OP.

Some people are very bizarre about people's need to use a toilet. You get it on here sometimes when posters are genuinely shocked that someone might have a poo in their toilet or indeed at work toilets. I don't have Crohns or IBS, but was taught that when I need to poo, that's what I do, and provided I use a toilet- I do crinkle up toilet paper to muffle the sound in communal loos - then surely that's what they are there for ?

perspective — what utter cunts. I could almost understand the complete lack of empathy from staff and patrons if it were something totally outside most people's experience (well, no, it would still be cuntish behaviour, but could at least be put down partly to ignorance), but gastrointestinal disorder or not, pretty much everyone's experienced being truly desperate for the toilet because of a tummy bug or food poisoning or whatever.

@JFDIYOLO how about some empathy for people with these conditions. I have IBS and im another one who doesnt eat if i have to go out just in case it flares up Im going out at 3.30 and i deliberately havent eaten today

What a horrible situation to be in, @KnittingMania. I can sympathise as a few years back, I had terrible VB after major surgery. I went to see the nurse at my GP practice and when taking a swab she firstly retched (not her fault), but then went on to open the door while I was still naked from the waist down. Like you, I didn't say anything as I was so embarrassed I wanted a stone to hide under.

@WickedWitchoftheDesk I hope you don't work in a doctors referring to stinky incontinent old men, how rude, my poor DD has had radical surgery to remove his cancerous prostate which has left him incontinent, he feels less of man and has shrunken in stature before our eyes as he feels worthless, I would hate for him to hear he is being judged by a doctors receptionist.

@rookiemere Yep and those same people would not expect their dog to shit to a timetable but they expect other humans to do so

It's possible she has emetophobia triggered by smells. I'm extremely sensitive to smells and also have IBS.

@M4J4

If she has emetophobia then possibly being a receptionist at a GP surgery is not the best career choice...

Some posters need to be reminded of s9meth8g called invisible disabilities (or invisible illness).

It doesn’t matter if the receptionist knows about the OP health issues (and tbh I don’t think she is supposed to).
But having bowel issues can happen to any of us, Wo it being a chronic issue either)
So a tiny bit of compassion and realising that it’s probably the reason why they are waiting to see a GP wouldn’t go amiss.

@Needsomebloodyperspective that also sounds truly horrible, very sorry that happened to you. I do not understand how adults can't be more understanding and empathetic of conditions or situations like this.

You poor thing OP.

She was bang out of order and I'm convinced anyone saying otherwise is just being contrary for the sake of it.

Nobody WANTS to do a poo in a public toilet, but sometimes we must. And working in a GP surgery, she has a responsibility to be sensitive to the health issues of others. If someone vomited in the waiting room would she huff and puff and make a big show of banging things around cleaning it up while they were present? If someone came in and got some blood on a chair would she? What if someone wet themselves? Nobody loves dealing with bodily fluids/substances/smells but it's part and parcel of working in an environment with people who aren't well and she stripped you of dignity in that moment.

Definitely write a letter of complaint, I hope/assume that the GPs and practice manager would be horrified at how she behaved and issue an apology.

@M4J4 there is still no need to make such a song and dance.

Her issues are not a reason to make anyone feel crap for being ill!!

And if she wanted to spray air freshener she could have easily gone and got it quietly, opened the bathroom door, held her breath, gone in, sprayed it, and then returned it. Absolutely no need for a big show of it. Yes, other people's smells aren't pleasant, and yes, we all make them and it's no excuse to rob someone of their dignity and make them feel ashamed/less-than.

To the people with acute nose sensibilities- Try and have some empathy and thank your lucky stars that you don't have a bowel illness/disease. They take no prisoners and can affect anyone, regardless of class, income, eating habits, weight etc.

I'm another one with IBS. Look - there are lots of us with Crohns, IBS etc. They're invisible disabilities which cause us pain and sometimes terrible embarrassment and humiliation. I like to think that the receptionist wouldn't treat others with visible disabilities in such a terrible manner. Please do complain - it may prevent others being humiliated by her.

@M4J4 if you have emetophobia, don’t apply for a job in a medical building.

I’m sorry that you had that happen to you.Can’t believe how many people on this thread seem to lack any sort of empathy for you.You shouldn’t be embarrassed at all! Everyone has to go and we all make smells fgs! I hoped you did complain.For what it’s worth I would have seen that receptionists actions are deeply unpleasant and would be thinking more of her behaviour than the person who used the toilet.what a knob!

Have you heard of Sam Cleasby? Ostomy Blogger - So Bad Ass - Sam Cleasby
Sam had a similar experience in a supermarket toilet. It's as a result of her work that we now have the signs on toilet doors telling us that not all disabilities are visible. You definitely need to report this incident. In fact, as a sufferer of IBS, if I had seen someone do this to somebody else, I would make a complaint myself.

@JFDIYOLO Seriously? “ accept your part” “ own your illness” “ disgust reaction”
Can you blame the OP any more??
And if someone has a violent revulsion to unpleasant smells then maybe it would be best to not choose to work in a doctors surgery!