Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Crohn’s Disease- humiliated by receptionist at doctors

385 replies

KnittingMania · 08/08/2023 10:51

I’m at doc surgery rn waiting for my appt. I have Crohn’s Disease and have to access toilet unexpectedly up to 12 times a day or more. So Sod’s Law it happened while waiting here. Immediately after I exited the toilet, having tried my best to mitigate odours by cleaning etc, the receptionist bustled out and went straight into toilet, huffed loudly, went elsewhere with lots of door banging and came back with air freshener. She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area.

I cannot help being ill. I avoid so many things bc of this miserable and embarrassing illness. I thought I could feel safe at doc’s. They could provide air freshener in the toilet. But my point is wider- no one should be shamed by their illness in a doc surgery.

I would like to complain. Should I? It’s kind of embarrassing doing this. But I feel she should learn and raise her levels of understanding.

OP posts:
ToWhitToWhoo · 08/08/2023 11:46

And yes, do complain, for your own sake and that of others- you won't be the only patient with a major digestive disorder.

Gilmorehill · 08/08/2023 11:48

Please complain. People should not work in the health sector if they don’t have empathy.

NotQuiteHere · 08/08/2023 11:48

The receptionist could have done all of that without any fuss or bringing it to anyone else’s attention.

Maybe she indeed did that without a fuss, but the OP is understandably very sensitive to the situations like that.

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Original poster
KnittingMania · 08/08/2023 11:49

Yes I will complain. I didn’t feel able to while in doc’s because I knew I would cry and I hate doing that when I’m trying to make a serious point! Thank you sooo much for all the support.

OP posts:
BrutusMcDogface · 08/08/2023 11:51

Fucking hell, some of these responses!!!!!

Have a heart, people. My poor colleague with IBS doesn’t eat a thing at work because she doesn’t want to have to poo. I got chocolate for everyone and made her take hers home so she didn’t have to miss out because she didn’t want to eat at work.

I just can’t imagine why anyone would think it’s ok to shame people for this. Definitely complain, op 💐

SabbatWheel · 08/08/2023 11:52

@Neonyellowfish
YOU buy the VIPoo if the smell of a normal bodily function bothers you so much.
Don’t see why my Crohny poo should mean I have to buy a totally unnecessary product to help you manage YOUR sensitivity.

Heavens, you’d have an apoplectic fit if you saw what went on in my kitchen recently when I had no warning of the imminent poonami that occurred…
You have NO idea what some people have to live with.

oakleaffy · 08/08/2023 11:52

@KnittingMania That receptionist was way out of line.

I'd definitely write in.

I once had a receptionist breach confidentiality by saying on a big voice something about my appointment in front of a crowded waiting room.

I wrote a letter saying how bad this was.

Never had it happen again.

Sometimes receptionists can be very thoughtless.

As for the Vipoo people are going on about- I googled it and it's just an oil you spray on the water before using the loo-

Due to the nature of 'Urgency', it may not work.

BarryistheNewHarry · 08/08/2023 11:53

I would complain very loudly. My other half has Crohns disease and I would be absolutely furious if someone humiliated him like this. Totally ignorant behaviour from the receptionist, I should imagine a lot of people using the facilities are ill in some way.

Original poster
KnittingMania · 08/08/2023 11:53

NotQuiteHere · Today 11:48
The receptionist could have done all of that without any fuss or bringing it to anyone else’s attention.

‘Maybe she indeed did that without a fuss, but the OP is understandably very sensitive to the situations like that.’

bless you but you don’t live with Crohns for 30 years without losing some of your sensitivity. She was definitely making a point in a way I have not experienced before- and certainly not in a medical setting. I am intelligent and experienced enough to know the difference.

also she was avoiding my eye very obviously as I waited at the desk for a form afterwards- I was dealing with the other receptionist. This one was determinedly on her phone, scrolling, as I tried to catch her eye, thinking I might gather the courage to say something.

OP posts:
Lookitaahhh · 08/08/2023 11:53

KnittingMania, I’m so sorry and angry on your behalf that she did that-what a vile and insensitive thing to do.
What you have to live with and go through on a daily basis sounds truly dreadful-thank you for raising my awareness about this-it certainly made me realise how life altering this is. I have no words of wisdom but just wanted to send my support your way, if it helps in any way.

Kindofcrunchy · 08/08/2023 11:53

Artificial fragrance - whether it's perfume, incense or air freshener - makes my skin itch and my eyes water. I truly hate it. What these places need are windows and decent ventilation systems. When I go to the gp or hospital, I always try to stand or sit near a window, regardless of how cold it is. I wouldn't be faffing around with travel air freshener if I had bowel problems, that's for sure!

Definitely complain to the surgery.

dullandgrey · 08/08/2023 11:55

Sorry this happened to you. It was very insensitive of the receptionist and she really should have done it discreetly. I would also put in a complaint.

ManateeFair · 08/08/2023 11:55

YANBU at all.

Crohn's or not, shit smells. People can't help that, so the receptionist absolutely should not be performatively huffing around with air freshener and embarrassing you.

As a teenager, I had a Saturday job in a shoe shop and we had two customers whose feet would absolutely reek - not just of old socks or whatever, but in a really weird way that obviously had a medical cause and couldn't be resolved by normal hygiene. We would have to spray air freshener when they'd left, but we would never EVER have done it in front of them or made a fuss about it. It's bad enough having an embarrassing health condition without people making it worse.

Pennyplant19 · 08/08/2023 11:55

I have Crohn's too. I'd definitely complain. She works in healthcare and needs to be sensitive. Stupid woman.

BarryistheNewHarry · 08/08/2023 11:55

KnittingMania · 08/08/2023 11:46

Thank you again to the vast majority of kind replies. It’s made me feel better. For the poo-phobics- walk in my shoes for a day and you’ll see that I don’t plan to revolt others- I desperately don’t want to in fact! But this disease is a nightmare you have no control over. I had sepsis and nearly died bc of this rotten condition. It really isn’t fun being so ill AND knowing you’re making some people disgusted with you. It’s horrible I promise. You don’t need to make me feel bad - I already do.

Sorry about the responses from some people. I really feel for you. My husband had a horrendous time with this disease, thankfully he is in remission now but at one point there was serious talk of large parts of his bowel being removed and he lost so much weight he was about 8 stone. Horrid horrid disease.

lyralycra · 08/08/2023 11:56

Definitely complain to the practice manager.

She humiliated you so perhaps your approach in future would be to shame anyone who does this to you again. Explain in a very loud voice that you have this condition and what the symptoms are. Only a complete psychopath would not think 'there for the Grace of God ... ' at the very least, and hopefully some people would actually support you.

FourTeaFallOut · 08/08/2023 11:57

She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area

Jesus, hopefully there wasn't any wheezers waiting for the doctor.

suki32 · 08/08/2023 11:58

I have ulcerative colitis. It's an embarrassing enough condition, I'm sure it was the very last thing you needed in the moment. I feel for you. As @bookworm14 said it's literally shit. For anyone being unkind, really think about the worst diarrhea you've ever had, triple it, and then imagine it never goes away. That's just your life now sometimes for years at end until you may or may not go into remission. Until it's back again.

Ohdofuckofdear · 08/08/2023 11:58

What a bitch, I'm so sorry she did that to you,I have IBS and ulcerative colitis so I feel your pain(quite literally)please make an official complaint about her and if it helps for in the future I take something with me to put down the loo,close the lid and then flush the toilet and it helps get rid of any smells.

Leavesofautumn · 08/08/2023 12:00

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

motherofgodhaudyerwheesht · 08/08/2023 12:00

OP so sorry for you. You should absolutely give calm polite feedback to the practice manager. The receptionist's loud huffing alone suggests a meanness and alarming lack of empathy in a medical environment. I am a bit depressed by the less supportive 'no one wants to smell that' responses tbh. Many of us will face toilet indignities sooner or later and I hope we will all - judgy posters included- be treated far more kindly when that time comes.

Twentyfirstcenturymumma · 08/08/2023 12:00

Definitely complain. Appalling behaviour by the receptionist. I'm so sorry that you had that horrible experience this morning, OP

Illiapiblo · 08/08/2023 12:02

Yes complain, what a cow

NeedToChangeName · 08/08/2023 12:02

OP, I'm really sorry this happened to you

I think you should complain

Iwantcakeeveryday · 08/08/2023 12:03

I am so sorry this happened to you and that you have this really difficult condition, someone close to me does too and I know its a struggle sometimes, so big hug to you. Its hard to complain, I always feel nervous and worried but I think you definitely should as its important she doesn't keep shaming patients. Some people really should not work in health care. I really hope this doesn't ruin your day or make you too upset for too long.