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Original poster

Crohn’s Disease- humiliated by receptionist at doctors

385 replies

KnittingMania · 08/08/2023 10:51

I’m at doc surgery rn waiting for my appt. I have Crohn’s Disease and have to access toilet unexpectedly up to 12 times a day or more. So Sod’s Law it happened while waiting here. Immediately after I exited the toilet, having tried my best to mitigate odours by cleaning etc, the receptionist bustled out and went straight into toilet, huffed loudly, went elsewhere with lots of door banging and came back with air freshener. She then sprayed it not just in toilet but throughout the reception kind of passageway that is in clear view of the waiting area.

I cannot help being ill. I avoid so many things bc of this miserable and embarrassing illness. I thought I could feel safe at doc’s. They could provide air freshener in the toilet. But my point is wider- no one should be shamed by their illness in a doc surgery.

I would like to complain. Should I? It’s kind of embarrassing doing this. But I feel she should learn and raise her levels of understanding.

OP posts:
off · 09/08/2023 22:25

*as best they can, sorry.

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 22:30

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 09/08/2023 22:19

Right, so there may be fecal matter on someones hands. And there might be fecal matter on the sink from flushing the toilet.

So what is the difference between washing poo off your hands, or off your bum? Because your argument was that people shouldnt wash poo off other body parts at the sink because you wash your hands there. But if you are agreed that there may be fecal matter on your hands then it's a bit of a silly argument you've made isn't it.

No one has suggested it was "smeared all over their hands" thats just you.

And if you haven't had any physical disabilities that impact your hand co-ordination or any conditions that impact your digestive system then you appear to just be here to make ableist comments and try to make people with medical conditons and disabilities feel bad about themselves.

I would far rather spend time with someone with a condition that means they have had to wash themselves at a sink designed for washing than with someone who seems determined to make people with health conditions feel dirty and bad about themselves

Show quote history

HOW do you clean your arse in a bloody sink? With what? Your hands? The vast majority of people will not feel comfortable washing their hands in a sink where someone has cleaned the shit off their diarrhoea splattered bum. Use wipes and bag and bin them.

Original poster
KnittingMania · 09/08/2023 22:31

AllyArty · 09/08/2023 19:56

So that if u wanted to reduce the odour you could clean up as best u could and put the bag in an outdoor bin. Also there isn’t always a bin in every toilet and sometimes they are overflowing. It has saved my blushes more than once.

Just to be clear, there was no mess in the bathroom! Everything that should have, went down the loo. The bathroom was as clean when I left it as when I entered it!

OP posts:

Interested in this thread?

Then you might like threads about this subject:

General health
Soonenough · 09/08/2023 22:31

My MIL had IBS . Whenever she came to visit , I always made sure to have wipes , etc .in a little basket for her use. The best thing however was a box of matches . Works better than any synthetic spray . Perhaps you could carry that OP ? Just for your own benefit . Receptionist was horrible.

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 22:33

off · 09/08/2023 22:21

@Bandyarsia,I did what I could with what I had while my companion achieved the world's fastest shopping trip.

My point is, not everyone's life is exactly like yours, and sometimes other people will need access to facilities that you don't need. Sometimes they will even access them without you knowing exactly what they're doing in there. You should probably assume that shit particles and germs have been rinsed into any loo sink you use anyway, so what's the difference if the sink in the accessible loo might also have shit particles and germs rinsed into it?

Maybe be glad you're in a position where it's incomprehensible to you that someone might get shit in unintended places, or sometimes just have to try to clean themselves up as best that can in a public accessible toilet.

Look I understand that but I honestly don’t know how you could clean your bum in a sink with your hands rather than just wait for your friend to grab a pack of baby wipes.

Original poster
KnittingMania · 09/08/2023 22:33

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 20:08

No, don’t be silly, for the wipes she used to clean up preferably than to clean her arse with her hand in the sink.

Show quote history

Again to be triple crystal clear- there has been a separate debate on this thread about people using the sink to clean poo. This is not my issue, never has been fortunately, and was not in my OP.

OP posts:
Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 22:34

Soonenough · 09/08/2023 22:31

My MIL had IBS . Whenever she came to visit , I always made sure to have wipes , etc .in a little basket for her use. The best thing however was a box of matches . Works better than any synthetic spray . Perhaps you could carry that OP ? Just for your own benefit . Receptionist was horrible.

Honest question, would you have been happy with her washing her backside in your sink rather than use the wipes?

MercedesD · 09/08/2023 22:35

As a fellow Crohn’s disease sufferer I very much recommend VIPoo. It’s pricey at around £5 for a little bottle but fits discreetly in a handbag and really works to illuminate odors. Spray it in the toilet bowl and needs be after you finish in the room. It doesn’t mix with the bad smells to mask it in a sickly way like many room sprays do, it really kills it. I take it everywhere with me.

Im sorry she treated you like that! It’s the healthcare workers that have shocked me
most in my journey. Only a tiny amount but it’s most shocking as they are the ones who should be most aware.

when I was at my 20 week scan for my second baby the nurse uttered “oh you have Crohn’s disease, that’s unusual, people with that are usually skinny” bearing in mind I was pregnant and not overweight I was shocked. I have spent time loosing weight to dangerous levels, having weight is and was healthy for us. It was a sign my meds were working.

I didn’t complain. I should have. So should you. People need to be more aware of their actions. And not be so ignorant.

Original poster
KnittingMania · 09/08/2023 22:40

Gladitscloudytoday · 09/08/2023 20:21

I agree

Show quote history

I am not being absurd. Please do not be rude. She did it in an unnecessarily performative and offensive way alongside huffing and puffing. I had been careful to keep flushing throughout to minimise odour and had slipped out of the door quickly to keep any odour contained in bathroom. Her dashing instantly to the loo after I came out and opening the door actually would have made it worse. It was not that bad! We’re not talking sewage spillage here. You are speaking like you’re defending her yet you were not there 🤔

OP posts:
Original poster
KnittingMania · 09/08/2023 22:45

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 21:10

I didn’t say nobody gets anything on their hands, I said shit smeared on their hands and WASHING THEIR ARSE IN A PUBLIC SINK. I wash my hands because someone else has used the bathroom before me.
I wash my hands before and after I handle food, I wash my hands before I eat, I wash my hands when I use the bathroom, I wash my hands I change my child’s nappy, I wash my hands a multitude of times a day.

Show quote history

I feel this discussion is derailing my thread. Let me assure you and put it on record that washing an arse in a sink was no part of my action, question or thread!!!

OP posts:
Ifeelsuchflutterings · 09/08/2023 22:52

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 22:30

HOW do you clean your arse in a bloody sink? With what? Your hands? The vast majority of people will not feel comfortable washing their hands in a sink where someone has cleaned the shit off their diarrhoea splattered bum. Use wipes and bag and bin them.

Show quote history

With toilet paper I would imagine, I dont know. Use your imagination a bit and maybe try to find some empathy at the same time.

Lots of people aren't comfortable with disabilities and medical conditons going by the number of ableist posts seen on MN regularly. So what if you aren't comfortable.

AllyArty · 09/08/2023 22:59

No I never said that. I have found it handy to put soiled paper towels into once I’ve done my best to clean up.

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 23:01

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 09/08/2023 22:52

With toilet paper I would imagine, I dont know. Use your imagination a bit and maybe try to find some empathy at the same time.

Lots of people aren't comfortable with disabilities and medical conditons going by the number of ableist posts seen on MN regularly. So what if you aren't comfortable.

Show quote history

Sounds like wipes would be much easier than sodden wet toilet roll!
So on that note I will leave you to think washing the shit off your arse in a public sink with bits of toilet roll is ok.
I will respect the OP and not partake in derailing the thread any further.

Ifeelsuchflutterings · 09/08/2023 23:14

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 23:01

Sounds like wipes would be much easier than sodden wet toilet roll!
So on that note I will leave you to think washing the shit off your arse in a public sink with bits of toilet roll is ok.
I will respect the OP and not partake in derailing the thread any further.

Show quote history

That will be the first time you have shown respect in the whole thread

Ohgollymolly · 09/08/2023 23:35

I mean sometimes you just get sick of your job and the people that come with it. You’re expecting someone else to deal with your odour, and be happy about it.

Of course she could have been more discreet, but what if she was pregnant and the smell triggered sickness etc?!

I mean I don’t think I’d complain about it, but I’d probably leave a little turd in the corner for her to clean up next time.. “those toilets are awful, there’s actually faeces on the floor, be a dear and clean it up, it’s not very hygienic”.

Original poster
KnittingMania · 10/08/2023 00:03

Ohgollymolly · 09/08/2023 23:35

I mean sometimes you just get sick of your job and the people that come with it. You’re expecting someone else to deal with your odour, and be happy about it.

Of course she could have been more discreet, but what if she was pregnant and the smell triggered sickness etc?!

I mean I don’t think I’d complain about it, but I’d probably leave a little turd in the corner for her to clean up next time.. “those toilets are awful, there’s actually faeces on the floor, be a dear and clean it up, it’s not very hygienic”.

No I’m not expecting someone else to deal with my odour and be happy about. Just not be a performative bitch about it. No she wasn’t pregnant- far past that age. Also I don’t remember being mean and shaming people during my pregnancies. If you have never had to use a public loo in an emergency then you are very lucky.

OP posts:
JenniferBooth · 10/08/2023 00:05

@Ohgollymolly Pregnancy is a choice Crohns isnt

Bet you also think buggies should take priority over wheelchairs on buses.

Original poster
KnittingMania · 10/08/2023 00:06

Ohgollymolly · 09/08/2023 23:35

I mean sometimes you just get sick of your job and the people that come with it. You’re expecting someone else to deal with your odour, and be happy about it.

Of course she could have been more discreet, but what if she was pregnant and the smell triggered sickness etc?!

I mean I don’t think I’d complain about it, but I’d probably leave a little turd in the corner for her to clean up next time.. “those toilets are awful, there’s actually faeces on the floor, be a dear and clean it up, it’s not very hygienic”.

Your final para made me giggle and I realise it was a joke- but honestly, ask anyone with this or similar condition in all seriousness and they’d explain that the miserable humiliation we get to enjoy day in day out would kybosh any action like that. We feel demonised, stressed and humiliated by a small but mean minority enough as it is.

OP posts:
Original poster
KnittingMania · 10/08/2023 00:09

Anyway thanks again for all the many kind remarks and supportive comments.

OP posts:
momonpurpose · 10/08/2023 03:26

Dolphinnoises · 08/08/2023 10:54

You’re still waiting to be seen? Tell the GP during your appointment. Use the words “humiliated” and “shamed for having a disability”. She’s in the wrong job and deserves to be pulled up on it.

Absolutely! I am so sorry this happened to you. Definitely complain she was out if order

Threenow · 10/08/2023 05:03

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 08/08/2023 11:07

Does the receptionist know you have Crohn’s?

It doesn't matter whether they know or not, their behaviour was appalling. I work in a public building, not a medical centre, and we would NEVER do that. Someone working in a doctor's surgery should be well aware that patients could have all sorts of illnesses and act with empathy. I'm not a complainer OP, but I really think that would have me writing a stern email.

Fraaahnces · 10/08/2023 05:38

Hi @KnittingMania. Last night at work I had an incident that reminded me of yours, and I am not long off the phone from my big boss (Who is an extremely decent human, fyi) and I compared how your incident was handled to what happened last night. I’m a First Aid Officer (And student nurse) working in a very large cultural complex. I went to check on a lady who had run out of a show to go to the loo and she was in there for just a bit too long. I popped in to see if she was okay to find she was in one of the stalls bawling. She hadn’t quite made it to the loo. She hadn’t made a big mess, but it was all over her skirt and legs. I told her to stay where she was while I ran off to the First Aid Room to get what we needed to clean her up and make her feel human again.I handed over my nice-smelling Bath and Bodyworks hand sanitizer, baby wipes and a plastic bag to dispose of the icky ones and some spray on deodorant. I handed her my spare work trousers (I’ve been puked on more than once, so I always have a pair. They’re basic black and have elastic at the back. She was taller than me, but they fit okay, they just looked cropped.) I gave her a biohazard ziplock bag for her skirt and a nicer, opaque one to carry it in. When she came out I had a box of tissues, and my little makeup bag to fix her face and some perfume for her if she wanted. She cleaned herself up, spritzed on some perfume, gave me a hug and saw the end of the show. She was so, so, so grateful. She was treated with dignity and empathy. I would do that for anyone. (and have before) I have an incident report so if I don’t get the trousers back, work will replace them. (They’re kinda uniform… basic black Uniqlo workwear.) She rang work today to make sure that my boss knew how grateful she was, and my boss told me that she has been Über generous and paid for dinner for my DH and I at the very expensive restaurant at the centre. (Very nice food and a beautiful view). Absolutely unnecessary but gratefully received. (Also have to put up with a phonecall from the CEO sometime later today which the boss warned me about. (We both agree he’s a bit of a dick.) She told me to be prepared for at least 45mins of waffling and that he may try and publicize this. Of course this would utterly destroy any faith in humanity this patron has, so boss and I will dissuade him. (Not gonna happen.)

ithinkhesawus · 10/08/2023 05:48

They should have done it discretely

Clafoutie · 10/08/2023 07:50

Neonyellowfish · 08/08/2023 11:03

Why don’t you carry VIPoo around with you?

She’s gone to use the toilet and it stinks so she’s sprayed air freshener everywhere which is normal. No One else wants to smell it.

What an unkind post. A bit of empathy with the OP would be nice. And the receptionist was wrong to go about it in such an insensitive way ( and wrong, as others have said, to spray air freshener due to allergies, etc). I’m so sorry this happened to you, OP Flowers

Howlingmoor · 10/08/2023 08:07

Bandyarsia · 09/08/2023 22:33

Look I understand that but I honestly don’t know how you could clean your bum in a sink with your hands rather than just wait for your friend to grab a pack of baby wipes.

Show quote history

@Bandyarsia how long would you expect her to hang around covered in shit and taking up quite possibly the only accessible loo so no other disabled people can use it, while she waits for someone to bring her wipes?

She used the facilities she had in the best way she could manage. All this agro could be avoided if more places fitted Changing Places toilets with shower heads.