Autistic Women Assemble! #2

[Nepmarthiturn]

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

I'm in my 40's and I have always felt different. So much of this resonates with me. Especially the masking to the point you're not sure who you really are. I hit burn out about 8 weeks ago and am now on anti depressants. Going to try to learn and understand - and be kind to myself.
Feel as though I have met my tribe- including the multiple plastic bags for holiday!
I've bought packing cubes but still have lots of plastic bags too 🤣

I haven't tried pilates for a while and my posture is terrible I will look those up thank you. I understand about the holidays. Had a massive meltdown camping last year which I put down to lack of sleep but it could be the change of environment. Going away next week so we'll see. I don't wash clothes on holiday but have a dirty clothes bag so they don't get mixed. My son went for his first residential and tidily folded all his dirty clothes and repacked them.

I do yoga and Pilates partly for relaxation and partly for my bad back. I love yoga with Adrienne but I also go to classes.

Almost had a meltdown multiple times yesterday, the underlying factor was stressing over one of my teammates still not finishing her part of the project. The deadline was yesterday, in order for me to have time today to put everything together and finish off one last bit of the project that was dependent on everyone else's being done.

I can't actually believe it I went to bed on the verge of tears because again total silence over what was happening so I lay there thinking of how I can fix it all in the morning so at least the whole project isn't a failure. Woke up at 5.30am due to a phonecall from relatives partner to say they need to go to hospital but ambulance is going to be several hours so can DH take them(turns out they are not actually that ill DH text a few mins ago to say it's a doctors job). So now I'm also really tired which lowers my tolerance to everything and I have to do a whole presentation later.

The icing on the cake here is I kid you not when checking my messages this morning I find teammate finished her project at 11.58pm so technically still within the deadline of Wednesday. Ugh why do people behave like this, if you're struggling and might not finish or in this case finish at the last minute then communicate that, so yeah busy morning sorting out the last bit of the project and putting together the presentation ready for later 😒

OMG I feel like screaming/crying, so I was just going through teammates stuff and ffs she hasn't done it properly so now I'm going to have to keep pestering her all day hoping she sees my messages and actually fixes her mistakes. So glad this next project is solo work, I don't think I could mentally cope with working in a team again so soon, it's like nails on a chalkboard trying to get people to actually get stuff done(and properly). This is going to be a very last-minute fix which means high stress all day and constantly checking to see if she's seen my messages and fixed her work 😫

Always, always early.

That would drive me nuts, Camel.

We're supposedly going for a drive today, but I don't really want to, and the varying weather forecasts quoted by DH are really, really annoying me.

A) why are they all different? Don't they use the same data to make their predictions?

B) what's the point of weather forecasts anyway? You can't change what it's going to be FFS.

Weather forecasts generally have angered me generally since childhood. Why are people so obsessed with them?

AARRGGHH SEND HELP

DH has declared that we ought to go tomorrow.

Don't do this to me! I was just getting used to the idea of going today!

@TheShellBeach We have friends who heavily rely on " Accuweather" and then get upset when it doesn't stop raining 'in 3 minutes' - It drives me crackers. I carry a brolly and sunscreen with me at all times, I couldn't give a single crap about the weather.

@camelCase This is my worst nightmare and why I don't work with people anymore. I feel your pain. Why don't people realise other people are impacted by their unclear messages about when things will be done.

@TheShellBeach If my husband dared change our plans, he would get a firm "No, my brain doesn't like that" - To be fair, he's pretty good at not changing stuff up.

@daffodills1 I was diagnosed early 40s and it's been a good thing for me. I'm more bolshy and sure of what I advocate for myself. I'm also kinder to myself. Burnout is the pits though. I do consistently push myself over the edge because I like to do all the things all the time.

@TheShellBeach I'm always early for everything, unless DD is with me, even when I lie about what time to leave (so if we need to leave by 11.30 I say 11.15) she still isn't on time and it stresses me out so much. I've had so many meltdowns (and been borderline) due to lateness, it's a huge trigger for me (both being late to something or someone being late to arrive to a meeting/appointment with me).

Weather apps drive me mad, I always check mine before I go to bed so I can get an idea of whether I'll have to take the dogs out in the rain (so I can grab a jacket / get towels ready). They seem to be getting worse at predicting it, so many times it's said it is/isn't going to rain and the opposite has happened.

I'm shocked teammate actually responded to my messages (prior to today it would be days or even a week before I got a response) and she's fixed her end. Luckily I had sorted most of her error out myself so once she did this last little bit I was able to quickly get all files uploaded and the presentation slides are ready. So I can relax now and make a start on the next project (well I've already made a wireframe but now I can actually start writing the code).

I couldn't give a single crap about the weather

@AuDHD4Me I think I love you.

Good morning all, currently sat by a sunny window trying to wrestle a cushion out my dog's mouth! I would post a photo but I fear someone will recognise me from my cute dog 😂🐶

Hello @daffodills1 I'm sorry to hear you're in burnout. I've been in burnout since around 2019, it's kind of leaving but I've had some major setbacks with a very ill family member and landlord stress so everything feels very difficult again.

I would love a job but I've not been able to work outside the home for many years, in part due to issues like this @camelCase .There's too many variables about how crap other people can be and I would never sleep for the constant whirring in my head about actual/perceived/potential problems and then all the processing of every conversation afterwards.

Trying to get people to understand this is extremely difficult.

Is anyone here had any success with PIP. I nees to apply but I fear the worst with this.

I would never sleep for the constant whirring in my head about actual/perceived/potential problems and then all the processing of every conversation afterwards

Yes. I still rarely sleep due to this, despite having retired some years ago.

Also I must apologise for the typos and missing words, I know that's very frustrating to read. I have very poor eyesight so when I'm on my phone, even with glasses, it's really hard to type sentences. Will try and use 'puter more often 🤩 oh and I use emojis alot so also sorry 🤩

@TheShellBeach hence why I tend to post really late because my brain won't shut up. Do you have naps at other times? I always pass out for an hour straight after dinner. Doesn't matter if there's a blaring telly or lights on, I'm dead. Come night time, my brain thinks it needs to go high alert about every minor thing 😭

@imautisticandalsoabitch

Re - PIP - I get PIP for mental health reasons and for physical disabilities, too. I am a world expert on claiming PIP.

However, I did not have my diagnosis when I first claimed it. I recommend that you look at the PIP descriptors and figure out how you're unable to do them because of your autism diagnosis. For example:
"I have difficulty planning a journey because of autism - I cannot cope with changes like temporary traffic lights, or too many people around me, making a lot of noise. I find it terrifying."

Have you looked at the PIP descriptors? I can't change my award now because I'm over pensionable age (you can't make a new claim for PIP after you get your state pension) but the DWP is getting better at giving awards to people for mental health conditions generally. I got points for depression and anxiety (which I didn't realise at the time were related to my autism).

This site offers the best help:

https://benefitsandwork.org.uk

Absolutely the same.
I fall asleep in the evening for an hour without fail.

In bed, I got over and over the events of the day, and spend time catastrophising about the possible events of the next day.

It's no wonder I do not sleep properly. My brain hasn't got an "OFF" switch.

That should say "I go over". ^

THAT'S ANOTHER THING

Why hasn't this site got an EDIT function? It drives me mad to see errors in my posts.

I agree @TheShellBeach ! I always spot my errors just after I’ve posted, it’s so annoying!!