Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Chat

Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Original poster

Autistic Women Assemble! #2

982 replies

Nepmarthiturn · 06/08/2023 11:18

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

OP posts:
Thread gallery
40
RainbowZebraWarrior · 14/12/2023 18:09

Pleased you are feeling a sense of calm @Psychoticbreak we all know exactly how those emotions feel. As others have said before, this is your safe space now.

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2023 18:19

Well I am all ready for Christmas and have finished wrapping the presents.

I was congratulating myself on how well things were going until.....................I got a call to tell me that our water supply had tested positive for high levels of Legionella, so we have to move out for five days while some vile, toxic chemical is used in our house's water supply.

So, we're off to a hotel with the cat, on Monday. The council will be paying (and for our meals, I presume) so it'll just be a PITA for a few days.

I was horrified at first and tried to argue against it (because I could not bear the upheaval) but finally decided that a 10% death rate for Legionnaire's disease is not worth the risk.

Juniperberries200 · 14/12/2023 19:02

@Psychoticbreak so glad you've found your peace. Would you mind sharing which videos you watched or can any of the other posters recommend ones you found useful?
Not diagnosed but can relate to a lot of things mentioned on this thread.

toffee1000 · 14/12/2023 20:40

I’ve read that book. Some of her problems I do identify with, others I don’t. I don’t wear one colour exclusively (she mentioned wearing grey jumpers nearly every day, for example). But that’s normal; not every autistic person is the same!

It was actually mentioned in my assessment report that I can be brutally honest with my mother Grin but she’s used to it.

It’s been six years since the ASD diagnosis and I do still struggle sometimes. Mainly because I worry about how people would react to it. The thing is, people have always been nice to me. I was never bullied at school.

toffee1000 · 14/12/2023 20:46

TheShellBeach · 14/12/2023 18:19

Well I am all ready for Christmas and have finished wrapping the presents.

I was congratulating myself on how well things were going until.....................I got a call to tell me that our water supply had tested positive for high levels of Legionella, so we have to move out for five days while some vile, toxic chemical is used in our house's water supply.

So, we're off to a hotel with the cat, on Monday. The council will be paying (and for our meals, I presume) so it'll just be a PITA for a few days.

I was horrified at first and tried to argue against it (because I could not bear the upheaval) but finally decided that a 10% death rate for Legionnaire's disease is not worth the risk.

Oh no that sounds awful! Our area had an issue with the water supply about five years ago although I don’t think it was legionella. We had tons of large bottles of water delivered. We went to the nearby swimming pool for showers. Here’s a photo I took at the time to show what I mean:

Autistic Women Assemble! #2
Psychoticbreak · 15/12/2023 08:20

Juniperberries200 · 14/12/2023 19:02

@Psychoticbreak so glad you've found your peace. Would you mind sharing which videos you watched or can any of the other posters recommend ones you found useful?
Not diagnosed but can relate to a lot of things mentioned on this thread.

I started with this one and just carried on from there.

Chart of Autistic Traits in Women | How Did I Miss This Late Autism Diagnosis?

Does autism present differently in women than men? Do you have autistic traits you’ve been explaining away since childhood? Why are women underdiagnosed?Lear...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3SQFb01SlrY

Psychoticbreak · 15/12/2023 08:25

No water would push me over the edge in fact my family have always said I am 'highly strung' but I just hate being inconvenienced. I suffer road rage like nobody else I know, I mean I just hate other cars being on the road in general, I am very impatient and even if they are doing the same speed as me I just hate them being in front of me. If I am in someone elses car I have my own pedals. My dad reckons I was a much nicer passenger before I learned how to drive. I just like things to go smooth and I will wake on a Monday say and life is going well, school run, drive to work etc and then... people. I often have an argument in my head on the way to work with my boss over something I have thought she was going to talk to me about and then I get in and its all fine but I have pre empted an argument. The funny thing is when I am in conversation with others I cannot deal in speculation. Say if someone has been murdered and I am watching on sky news I just watch and wait for the actual facts and cannot sit there doign the 'well it was the husband/cousin/local dog' type conversation. I deal in facts when it comes to talking to other people but when I am talking to myself I can conjure up any sort of thing. I realise I sound unhinged which is why I am posting here and not telling anyone in real life so maybe the fact I omit this about myself was my realisation something was 'off' about me for a long time.

TheShellBeach · 15/12/2023 10:00

Well now, there's been a very strange development.

The safety officer for the council arrived on our doorstep at 9am, to tell us that our sample had been tested again, and there was now zero Legionella in it.

I mean wtf.

How did that happen? Which result do I trust?

So now we don't need to go to a hotel for four days with our cat.

Autistic Women Assemble! #2
Psychoticbreak · 15/12/2023 10:03

Your cat looks like they seriously are pissed off and wanted to stay in a hotel. Cant blame it I do like a hotel but for luxury not for water issues.

TheShellBeach · 15/12/2023 10:05

Ha!
Linney (the cat) is a boy, and he was very disappointed to find out that he won't get four days in a hotel now.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 15/12/2023 14:04

@TheShellBeach that is so weird! What is their explanation for the test result yesterday?

Hello Linney! 😻

@Psychoticbreak that's wonderful to hear you sounding so positive. It is a strange process post-diagnosis, basically going back through all of your memories and reframing them with this new knowledge, but so therapeutic I think.

Good to see you @toffee1000! How have you been?

I am getting even more unwell despite antibiotics, but hoping they start to work soon. GP thinks it is pneumonia. Fun times. But I've now finished work until Jan, it's my children's last day at school today, and then we can all reeeeeesssst. 🎄⭐️☃️❄️

Just the small matter of the present wrapping to contend with. 🧑🏻‍🎄

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 15/12/2023 14:35

OMG @Nepmarthiturn pneumonia in the run-up to Christmas is horrible. I'm so sorry. Have you got a back-up plan for if you need a hospital admission?

At least I've wrapped the presents.

AND - BIG NEWS - the washing machine was mended this morning!

TheShellBeach · 15/12/2023 14:37

Hi @Juniperberries200 how are you getting on with the videos and websites?

It's a lot to take in.

Juniperberries200 · 15/12/2023 15:21

@TheShellBeach I have been so busy I haven't had time to watch them yet but will take the time now as I have all the chores done.

I've filled out the points system autism questionnaire but not scored high enough so no conclusive answer.

Things which resonated with me are scratchy/tight clothes. I can't wear wool, mohair etc.
Cutting labels off because they rub. Seams. Always feeling like the odd one out that's avoided in groups and usually end up sitting on my own, no matter how friendly I try to be.
Uncomfortable in social situations. Would rather do a job myself than ask for help.
Terrible with directions and mixing up my left and right.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 15/12/2023 15:34

TheShellBeach · 15/12/2023 14:35

OMG @Nepmarthiturn pneumonia in the run-up to Christmas is horrible. I'm so sorry. Have you got a back-up plan for if you need a hospital admission?

At least I've wrapped the presents.

AND - BIG NEWS - the washing machine was mended this morning!

I'm really hoping it doesn't come to that. It's only one lung apparently. I do have a couple of friends who would look after my children in an emergency, or I could call one of my nannies and see if they are free but with Christmas it's unlikely as they'll have plans! I am so looking forward to a restful time at home with my two where I'm not running around like a headless chicken so really hoping it can be treated at home and goes away in time for Christmas. 🤞 I hope Santa brings me a new immune system!

Great news on the washing machine. Total nightmare to be without one.

OP posts:
Psychoticbreak · 16/12/2023 10:07

Well I have just spent the best part of the morning crying over a very much made up scenario in my head whereby I bumped into my ex in a restaurant and he was out with the woman he went out with prior to me. I know it is made up because they are no longer in touch and I would never ever bump into him anywhere as he is no longer in the same country as me and we are over so even if I did it is not my business but yeah, loads of tears over my ex and a totally made up thing in my head.

TheShellBeach · 16/12/2023 12:06

Ooh.
And for once, MNHQ have deleted a dodgy thread.

The premise of the thread, BTW, was that selfish and thoughtless people probably ought to be assessed for autism. Nice.

Original poster
Nepmarthiturn · 16/12/2023 12:33

TheShellBeach · 16/12/2023 12:06

Ooh.
And for once, MNHQ have deleted a dodgy thread.

The premise of the thread, BTW, was that selfish and thoughtless people probably ought to be assessed for autism. Nice.

Edited

Wow, that is an improvement that they actually did something about it.

These people are utterly clueless and ignorant. The research firmly demonstrates that autistic people have more empathy on average than NT people, not less! Or perhaps they're not: perhaps they know the truth and are just monsters; vindictive and spiteful people whp enjoy bullying disabled people. Either way Mumsnet should be deleting and banning as soon as it's reported, every single time.

OP posts:
Psychoticbreak · 16/12/2023 12:34

I read that thread and the opening post shocked me. What a closed minded nasty person.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 16/12/2023 13:12

Psychoticbreak · 16/12/2023 12:34

I read that thread and the opening post shocked me. What a closed minded nasty person.

I'm pleased I didn't see it, as I'm in a take no shit frame of mind atm and I'm sick to fuck of clueless, offensive wankers MN equating shitty, negative behaviours with Neurodiversity.

Good that MN deleted it, though.

Psychoticbreak · 16/12/2023 13:36

I made a plan to see a friend this evening and I just have not got the mental capacity for it now. I am going to feel really bad cancelling but I am feeling exhausted.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 16/12/2023 13:45

What's the plan, @Nepmarthiturn If you are still feeling poorly in a few days, does the GP have a back up plan?

DD is entering her third week of coughing. We have to see the doctor again on Monday, and he is going to give her steroids. I'll see how she is over the weekend, and may have to keep her off for the last four days of school next week.

TheShellBeach · 16/12/2023 13:50

Steroids turn me loopy.
Hyperactive.

But occasionally necessary for bad asthma attacks.

TheShellBeach · 16/12/2023 13:51

Psychoticbreak · 16/12/2023 13:36

I made a plan to see a friend this evening and I just have not got the mental capacity for it now. I am going to feel really bad cancelling but I am feeling exhausted.

That's fine. Don't beat yourself up about it. If your mental energy is depleted, you need to recuperate.