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Join the discussion and chat with other Mumsnetters about everyday life, relationships and parenting.

Autistic Women Assemble! #2

982 replies

Nepmarthiturn · 06/08/2023 11:18

Helloooo lovely people, a new thread for a us to continue to chat and connect with other autistic women (small talk and word mincing not required). 😊

As before, anybody newly stumbling upon this is very welcome to join us (even if still awaiting diagnosis). But we'd be grateful if others could leave us alone please, like the NT man we encountered in thread #1. 🤣

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TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 13:25

Oh and a woman who was on our quiz table was telling DS about when she goes beating for pheasant shooters. He was really interested so she took his number.

It seems to be a perfect activity. You spend all day outside with a small group of friendly people, they feed you endlessly and you can take home some of the pheasants.

Yum.

Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 13:41

That sounds great. My Uncle used to do that as a young man and he loved it. Brilliant he is making social connections there already, as well as having you.

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RainbowZebraWarrior · 09/12/2023 13:56

@TheShellBeach I use to do beating (then progressed to shooting) and loved it. Hope he gets involved and loves it too. Great time of year to join in with that sort of thing. Most places have a massive shoot on boxing day. Here, the guns all pay a tenner in pot and it gets shared out among the beaters.

@Nepmarthiturn me and DD are exactly the same roo. I was nodding all through your post.

More or less recovered from PIP marathon assessment. What's done is done now and I don't have the energy to worry about whether they will twist it. Will deal with it when the decision comes.

TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 14:03

@RainbowZebraWarrior I had to go to a tribunal to get PIP.

They awarded me and it was backdated, but I wouldn't want to go through the stress again.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 09/12/2023 14:10

TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 14:03

@RainbowZebraWarrior I had to go to a tribunal to get PIP.

They awarded me and it was backdated, but I wouldn't want to go through the stress again.

I went to a tribunal for mine, too and I've never really got over it. This was last year. I was upset and clammed up and couldn't explain myself properly. They were horrible to me. Anyway, this is a Change of Circumstances / worsening of conditions with more evidence so fingers crossed.

TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 14:13

I understand, Rainbow.

I'm panicking to think that DS might have to go to a tribunal.

He'll just sit there and tell them he's fine, rather than telling them the truth, because it's too painful.

Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 14:18

Mine was awarded via a telephone interview without too much grief so I feel lucky for that but it's due to be reassessed next year. I use the mobility part for a motability car so I am very worried about it, in case they take that away. I am housebound a lot of the time now but the car is needed for my nanny to get my children to school and back and for the rare occasions I am well enough to go out, otherwise it'd be impossible. What I don't understand is that most of my health issues are lifelong and those that aren't are highly unlikely to improve; quite the opposite. And any change in circumstances would need to be reported anyway so I don't understand what the review is for. My friend who is a wheelchair user even has hers reviewed every few years, as if her legs will suddenly start to work again. They say they have no resources so what is the point of it?

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Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 14:20

TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 14:13

I understand, Rainbow.

I'm panicking to think that DS might have to go to a tribunal.

He'll just sit there and tell them he's fine, rather than telling them the truth, because it's too painful.

This is the awful thing. I found it so intrusive and humiliating. I don't know what they think gives them to right to interrogate people about their health problems and disabilities in this way, it's degrading. Especially when them benefit AND these people's salaries is funded from our tax money.

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TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 14:21

I agree with you, Nep.

I had a review and they took my PIP away, but after the Mandatory Reconsideration (where I pointed out that things were worse since my first award) they reinstated it.

Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 14:58

God, how stressful. And then if that happened to me just sorting it out later wouldn't make up for it at all because they'd take my car away! That I also paid several thousand pounds as a downpayment for, for the three year lease. I am so sick of all these organisations causing us so much stress. 😔 I had to pull my daughter out of school for a week this month because they made her so distressed that she was barely able to breathe and couldn't even communicate what was wrong for a couple of hours. They have made her so sad that she's been having intrusive thoughts about death, saying she doesn't want to wake up on any more days, she doesn't want her life anymore and threatening to jump out of her bedroom window, at 5 years old, all because they wouldn't put the support in place that she needs even though they'd agreed it before she even started school so that she can cope without getting totally overwhelmed every day. CAMHS don't want to know. I am so angry about it all.

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TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 15:36

It's about RSD, upon which many people are pouring scorn.
I'm going to hide it now.
Seriously, is this thread the only safe space for us on here?

RainbowZebraWarrior · 09/12/2023 17:14

The sheer amount of mocking on that thread is staggering. Mocking someone with a disability. Fucking morons. I've reported it (as usual)

Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 18:13

I usually try not to respond to such ignorant fuckwits but this lot were so bad I couldn't help myself. What the hell is wrong with people? 😡

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TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 18:30

I've reported it as well.
It's still there, of course.

TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 18:31

I'm going to see what @Nepmarthiturn wrote.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 09/12/2023 19:13

I got an email over two hours ago from MN saying they were taking a look at the thread. They've not so much as put a comment on it. Same old.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 09/12/2023 19:14

Also, as is typical with most of these threads, the OP hasn't been back. They light the blue touch paper then piss off.

TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 19:33

It's a horrible thread.
How are they all allowed to mock disabled people like that?

Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 19:57

It's shocking that Mumsnet does nothing about it. They'd never allow it for it if people ridiculed another protected characteristic.

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TheShellBeach · 09/12/2023 19:58

Nepmarthiturn · 09/12/2023 19:57

It's shocking that Mumsnet does nothing about it. They'd never allow it for it if people ridiculed another protected characteristic.

No, they wouldn't, and it saddens me so much.

RainbowZebraWarrior · 09/12/2023 20:34

Dare I say it (I may be speaking too soon) but the thread seems to have died a death a bit. The OP hasn't been back, as I said, and there hasn't been the usual fuckwittery of folk being like a dog with a bone. I couple of posters have apologised / changed their minds about their original attitudes. Others seem to have slunk off.

I like to think it's worthwhile holding up a mirror to the mocking attitudes sometimes. I don't always have the energy, but there were a few of us tonight who had our say. I hope some posters are embarrassed by their ignorance.

Nepmarthiturn · 10/12/2023 11:29

How is everyone today? I an going to try to get Christmas decs up but feeling so poorly I'm not sure I'll manage it! 😩

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TheShellBeach · 10/12/2023 11:41

I put the decorations up last week. Not many because our house is little.

Autistic Women Assemble! #2
TheShellBeach · 10/12/2023 11:42

Just a few more

Autistic Women Assemble! #2