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Original poster

How is everyone else surviving in this day and age!?

290 replies

Mummyrere · 04/08/2023 20:27

I’m just so mind blown how other people are living -

I see so many people with mortgages, going on holidays, having nice cars etc etc and there jobs are obviously not that well paid! My partner works really hard and brings home £5000 a month. It doesn’t work out beneficial for me to go back to work as I have a one year old and the childcare is about the same as I would earn - now we are scrimping and saving, struggling to save each month, getting absolutely rinsed paying rent (in not even an expensive place!) and we can’t afford a mortgage, and really doesn’t look like we ever would be able to. It’s very depressing and I’m feeling so sorry for my partner who is working hard. I’m considering getting an evening and a weekend job but that would mean I would never see my partner as he’s back so late, and to be honest it wouldnt even make too much of a difference to us. I just feel like why is this fair? When he’s in a well paid job he’s worked years in that we’re in this position when other people seem to be living it up!? Ahhh just having a stress tonight!

OP posts:
Whadda · 04/08/2023 22:18

OP, do you have access to his accounts/have a joint account?

Do you think he could be spending money (gambling/porn/crypto) and hiding it from you?

anonymousxoxo · 04/08/2023 22:18

ferntwist · 04/08/2023 22:16

OP said it’s £3,000 for rent and bills. That is totally average in London for a two bed and bills. Two sets of our neighbours are moving because their landlords are putting the rent up to £2,800 before bills. These are two or three bed flats in nice enough blocks with shared gardens.

Show quote history

A lot of people buy properties in London and put them on rent to generate money.

anonymousxoxo · 04/08/2023 22:19

SouthLondonMum22 · 04/08/2023 22:17

It absolutely goes both ways.

I was called sick on here because my baby goes to nursery, I've also been asked on more than one occasion why I bothered having a baby if someone else was going to raise them.

That's just two examples of many.

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Omg, that’s awful!

incognitomosqiito · 04/08/2023 22:19

.

Chewbecca · 04/08/2023 22:19

£3k on rent & bills excluding travel and food is huge. Are you overpaying for some stuff?

anonymousxoxo · 04/08/2023 22:19
QuiltedHippo · 04/08/2023 22:19

For context we bring home 5.6k with 2 earners. Mortgage and bills is 2.2k (includes childcare) in naice, not cheap area. That's how we afford holidays, saving, investing, newish car etc

Without childcare bill I'd love to see a breakdown of your 3k on rent and bills. Sounds like there's expensive rent and a hefty commuting cost, there must be better ways to make that work.

Free childcare will kick in for your kid before 3 so I'd seriously consider getting back to work, childcare costs are short term pain

anonymousxoxo · 04/08/2023 22:20

£700 on train fair for partners work
£300 on petrol (for work mostly as he needs to travel)

So £300 petrol for work then £700 train.

Why not just drive the whole way and park near by, surely that would be cheaper and more convenient?

onefinemess · 04/08/2023 22:21

If you can't afford a mortgage on take home of 5k, then it's YOU that's the problem.

There's no way someone on an 80k salary can't afford a mortgage.

3k on rent and bills! Pull the other one!

Yeah!

5k and broke!

Course you are!

Andanotherone01 · 04/08/2023 22:22

Indigotree · 04/08/2023 21:59

Also, it's perfectly ok and normal to want to be with your child rather than work full time, especially when your child is so young.

Sure but then don’t bloody moan when you have no money for the luxuries other people enjoy.

TooOldForThisNonsense · 04/08/2023 22:22

How does he spend £700 on train fares plus £300 on petrol for work? If he needs to travel for work why aren’t his work reimbursing that?

PlacidPenelope · 04/08/2023 22:23

Plus the savings you allocate every month aren't staying saved as you say they are used for other things such as the car?

You need to make some serious changes to how you live and manage your money if you want a different lifestyle.

limons · 04/08/2023 22:25

So £300 petrol for work then £700 train.

And a very expensive rent. If my bills were £3000 and my travel costs were still £1000 I would be making some different decisions....

ferntwist · 04/08/2023 22:26

onefinemess · 04/08/2023 22:21

If you can't afford a mortgage on take home of 5k, then it's YOU that's the problem.

There's no way someone on an 80k salary can't afford a mortgage.

3k on rent and bills! Pull the other one!

Yeah!

5k and broke!

Course you are!

Do you work or rent in London? Any idea about rent here?

Regarding a mortgage - you know you’d need at least a 10% deposit and that London properties are astronomical, so it’s more manageable for most to rent rather than buy if they don’t have family helping with the deposit.

You sound so judgemental and angry but I’m a Londoner and this is average for rent and bills.

Starseeking · 04/08/2023 22:27

If your partner got a job closer to home you'd have an extra £1k per month to spend. That's perhaps how some people do it; minimising the distance between home and work.

I sympathise with you as it's easy for things to be tight on one income. You'd be better off getting a job to keep your career going, and absolutely get married to protect yourself.

limons · 04/08/2023 22:27

You sound so judgemental and angry but I’m a Londoner and this is average for rent and bills.

Do you know any Londoners paying £3000 in rent and bills but still managing £700 in train costs and £300 in fuel?

BringOnSummerHolidays · 04/08/2023 22:28

I can’t see how you struggle with £5k a month.

babbscrabbs · 04/08/2023 22:29

Bearpawk · 04/08/2023 21:16

Interested to know what kind of property you're renting for that much money.
If you can't work then, the simple answer is you're living beyond your means. You need to downsize or move to a cheaper area.

Where I live, it costs about £2-2,500 pcm to rent a bog standard 3 bed terrace in an ok area.

Not south east either.

There are cheaper areas of course but only if you're willing to live well out of the city - and they're not much cheaper.

User1755387908 · 04/08/2023 22:30

Why do people keep saying London, why would you rent in the most expensive place in the country and commute by train somewhere else

Babyroobs · 04/08/2023 22:30

5k is more than what me and DH earn together. Admittedly we are older and have no rent to pay but it is still a large amount and I don't understand how on you can't live comfortably on that ?

Namddf · 04/08/2023 22:33

emotionalpuddle · 04/08/2023 21:50

My take home is £1,400 of that £1,000 is mortgage and all bills. £200 maximum a month on food and toiletries leaving me £200 to save, I've just booked a holiday for October which will be my third week abroad in the last 13 months. It's about budgeting and cutting your cloth? But then I don't eat out, have sky or anything like that? Do you have the option to move closer to DPs work to cut down travel costs? Or move to a cheaper area? 3k sounds ridiculous? Shock

Do you have a car? Are you single?

How do you pay for house maintenance and things like that? If you save £200 a month and go abroad 3 times a year, either these are very cheap holidays or you are literally spending every spare penny on travelling, which makes no sense if you are a homeowner.

Do things never need fixing? 🤔

User1755387908 · 04/08/2023 22:33

OP has been very woolly about it all, done nothing but moan though

LittleBearPad · 04/08/2023 22:34

ferntwist · 04/08/2023 22:26

Do you work or rent in London? Any idea about rent here?

Regarding a mortgage - you know you’d need at least a 10% deposit and that London properties are astronomical, so it’s more manageable for most to rent rather than buy if they don’t have family helping with the deposit.

You sound so judgemental and angry but I’m a Londoner and this is average for rent and bills.

Show quote history

It’s not average for London travel costs though.

ginandtonicwithlimes · 04/08/2023 22:35

That is a decent monthly salary to me!

uncomfortablydumb53 · 04/08/2023 22:36

Can DP not drive all the way to work?
Can he claim mileage allowance?
The rent is high but I guess it's normal if you're in London.
Can you downsize or move further out?
Sit down together to see if you can cut any costs