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Original poster

Genius ideas to let me sleep in hotel room?

224 replies

InterferingOutsider · 01/08/2023 22:59

We're on holiday. Had DC together in twin room two doors down from us. DC1 didn't eat supper as felt unwell. DC2 did, then went up before dessert. She's been vomiting ever since - really violent, not much left but can't keep a mouthful of water or dioralyte down. DC1 has now started.

I'm now sat wrapped in my duvet in an office chair, but can't lean my head on anything. There's a boxy thin arm chair which is even more uncomfy and has a lower back. I'm going to have to sleep on the carpeted floor aren't I?

OP posts:
SheRaaaaa · 02/08/2023 09:23

InterferingOutsider · 01/08/2023 23:04

no space for a foldaway bed unfortunately. They've already given me one replacement set of bedding! DH won't look after DC if they're I'll, he's buggered off to bed after cursing them and me for asking him to come and help.
I tried but the cushions won't come off the chair.

What the actual fuck.

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 02/08/2023 09:25

InterferingOutsider · 01/08/2023 23:04

no space for a foldaway bed unfortunately. They've already given me one replacement set of bedding! DH won't look after DC if they're I'll, he's buggered off to bed after cursing them and me for asking him to come and help.
I tried but the cushions won't come off the chair.

I hope you’re exaggerating because you’re tired as your DH’s behaviour is not normal at all!

I have met some wrogens in my time but none of them would not have helped a sick child and they’d all have offered to be the one to sleep on the chair/floor or at the very least offered to take in turns.

I get that you are a SAHP and you’re probably worried that if you separate you’d have to work FT but that is a way better option that staying in this relationship with a man who doesn’t respect or even like you much.

You only need to work PT and if your DS has SN then you may not need to work at all.

MNetcurtains · 02/08/2023 09:26

I haven't read all the responses so forgive me if this has already been said. Can you not get the DCs to top/tail in one bed and you in the other. This was very common when I was growing up (in the olden days 😬.)

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LaPerduta · 02/08/2023 09:27

Airyfairy99 · 01/08/2023 23:47

No ! As have toddler and cant afford childcare so pick up dc after nights from my mum or sister and take care of her during day then after picking up other dc from school do teas and baths and drop back off at mum's house 630pm ! Start shift 7pm amd finish 7am then collect dc 730am and start process again. Would love to sleep in day but mon to thurs i cant then fri sat sun i try to get sleep once kids go to bed. Sucks so bad and Id give anything not to have to work this way .

So you don't sleep at all for four days a week, every week??

Itsnotrightbutitsok · 02/08/2023 09:29

ThreeRingCircus · 02/08/2023 07:29

Your children are now old enough to realise they have a shit dad and will remember the time they were ill and he "cursed them and went back to bed." What a prick.

And that their mum allowed it and carried on like nothing happened.

All these nice holidays don’t mean anything if they’re scared to even get poorly because their dad is going to berate them for it.

What’s more important - nice holidays and lots of money or having a happy home life where your dad doesn’t treat your mum like shit and is abusive to his own kids?

BlossomCloud · 02/08/2023 09:32

I hope you managed to get some sleep

Your DH is utterly unreasonable and I don't know why you have allowed him to get away with it.

My DH is only the step father of my children but if they are ill he stays up and help me (and I would do the same for him and his).

FriendofDorothy · 02/08/2023 09:34

Good Lord. You are not a SAHM this week - you are on holiday. Usual rules don't apply.

Your husband is a complete cock-womble.

Jonnycakes · 02/08/2023 09:37

He’s a prick op, but I think you know that. You’re either resigned to it because you feel you have no where to go or you genuinely think this man is ‘a great father apart from (insert major flaw here)’ which gets thrown out a lot on here.
I really hope your children are feeling better this morning. I’d try to get fluids down them slowly. Try for an extra night if possible.
But please op, when you’re home, reflect on your husbands behaviour. It’s not normal to let anyone, sahp or not, struggle with 2 ill children while the other sleeps on like nothings happened. My DH struggles with vomit, seriously so, but when DS has been poorly, he gets up, takes DS to sort as that’s the less messy job (even if he has to discreetly dry heave until DS is clean), while I sort the bed. Whether he has to be up for work or not. It’s not normal and it’s not how a partnership should work.

AuntieJune · 02/08/2023 09:44

Bloody hell OP. Sometimes sickness can bring on a dark night of the soul where you see things in greater clarity for once.

Here's your epiphany: Your husband is a colossal twat. Why does he get to rest on holiday but you're still on 24/7 mum duty? In that situation DH and I would probably tag team and split the night so we both got a bit of rest.

Your DH is awful for just leaving you to deal with it because he's got a big boy job and it's his holiday.

magratvonlipwig · 02/08/2023 09:45

If partner (their dad ??) Wont help, then you and kids in double, he can go to other room.

Or
Take the duvet and pillows from your half of your bed, to the kids room, let him make do with wardrobe blankets

NerrSnerr · 02/08/2023 09:46

InterferingOutsider · 01/08/2023 23:27

Do you realise how completely unreasonable that is from your DH?

I was going to suggest he took DC1 but was 10 minutes too late. I'm a sahm so sick DC are my job.

@UnsungShero yes, but he thinks he's being reasonable, and I'm in the middle of dealing with DC so I do feel a bit of resentment tbh. DC2 is also not happy with him.

Was your husband working while this was happening? No he wasn't so is equally both your jobs.

AuntieJune · 02/08/2023 09:46

TBH even if this did happen at home on a work night, he should help out because that's what parents do

Justrememberedihaveagarden · 02/08/2023 10:08

When you are on holiday neither parent is working so parenting duty is split equally. I see that you are stonewalling all the outrage about your dh and your concern is primarily for your dcs. Just let the one who keeps
retching have tiny sips of water, they will stop eventually.

Once they are better and this nightmare is over, I’d take a very long hard look at your marriage to dh. What exactly is he putting into it apart from finance? Why doesn’t he care that his children are being so sick and want to help them? What kind of father is like that? My Mum was the primary caretaker, my Dad has ASD and honestly wouldn’t know what to do but he’d be around in the background, putting washing on, bringing sick bowls, towels etc. Because even the most clueless man can manage that. I’m really sad that you think this is ok, it’s not and you deserve a parenting partner not an observer.

Strictlyfanoftenyears · 02/08/2023 10:09

Did he want children OP? (presumably he knows how they are made............) You know this is not normal father behaviour, surely?

SheilaFentiman · 02/08/2023 10:10

Go easy on OP re any comments of not dealing with her DH - she's posting in the wee small hours and dealing with sick kids and no bed. Hardly the time to look up divorce lawyers.

talknomore · 02/08/2023 10:11

I wonder why this thread is not going to make it to DM... 🤔

Basketballqueen · 02/08/2023 10:14

What’s the point of your DH?
you should have 1 child each to look after then everyone catches up with missing sleep the next day.

if you’re being treated like a single parent, is it time to consider being one? A parent refusing to look after their sick child isn’t a parent at all, that’s disgraceful

CandyLeBonBon · 02/08/2023 10:26

Justrememberedihaveagarden · 02/08/2023 10:08

When you are on holiday neither parent is working so parenting duty is split equally. I see that you are stonewalling all the outrage about your dh and your concern is primarily for your dcs. Just let the one who keeps
retching have tiny sips of water, they will stop eventually.

Once they are better and this nightmare is over, I’d take a very long hard look at your marriage to dh. What exactly is he putting into it apart from finance? Why doesn’t he care that his children are being so sick and want to help them? What kind of father is like that? My Mum was the primary caretaker, my Dad has ASD and honestly wouldn’t know what to do but he’d be around in the background, putting washing on, bringing sick bowls, towels etc. Because even the most clueless man can manage that. I’m really sad that you think this is ok, it’s not and you deserve a parenting partner not an observer.

I'm afraid I was married to one like the OP's and had 3 dc all come down with various illnesses all at the same time (on many occasions) while he snored through it all. It's easy to say ltb from the outside but when you're constantly firefighting it can be hard to summon up the energy to deal with all that is involved with splitting.

MollysBrolly · 02/08/2023 10:29

InterferingOutsider · 01/08/2023 23:04

no space for a foldaway bed unfortunately. They've already given me one replacement set of bedding! DH won't look after DC if they're I'll, he's buggered off to bed after cursing them and me for asking him to come and help.
I tried but the cushions won't come off the chair.

He Is a great parent! Make him stay with 1 child and you have the other. What gives him the right not to parent cos a child is sick.

Matronic6 · 02/08/2023 10:54

Hope kids are feeling a bit better today. Dry toast and sipping on dioralyte may help this morning.
As a daughter of a somewhat useless/selfish dad, he never would have washed his hands of us in a situation like this. It's a horrible feeling when you realise how much or how little a parent cares for you.

ChristmasCwtch · 02/08/2023 11:17

Hope you got some sleep OP.

If it’s salmonella or similar, your DC may need IV to keep hydrated.

Your husband (NOT DH) is a twat!! I hope you tell him to fuck the fuck off.

Greenpeasnwham · 02/08/2023 11:25

Does he not love his children? Or you? If he does, how does he show it to you all?
what would/will happen if you ever need looked after in the future? Can you depend on him to be there?
my partner treats our dog better than this man treats his family. Seriously.

you should let him read the thread. And then you should both think about what this type of parenting is teaching your children about relationships.
I do t think you sound like you will leave, but I bet you know you should.

tootallfortheshelf · 02/08/2023 11:45

InterferingOutsider · 02/08/2023 02:02

O.M.G. When will this stop? You can't break a rib from it can you? Or do any damage? Should I try to get DC2 to eat something so she has something to throw up?

O.M.G.
We are all telling you that your husband is a bastard who is treating you badly and you are completely ignoring us 🤷

thisisasurvivor · 02/08/2023 11:45

He's terrible

OP
Leave a fcker who does this

So many red flags

So many xxxxxxx

stayathomer · 02/08/2023 11:47

I always go for floor over chair (doesn’t help you now). Have to rtft but another who isn’t impressed with your dh. Honestly. Fuck men!!!