Are there things you always want to say on relationship threads?

[CurlewKate]

Mine are "No-don't move in with him until you have actually seen the divorce papers and know for a fact that he has made proper arrangements for his children" and "Use absolutely rock solid contraception controlled by you until all the ends have been tied up and you're as sure as you can be that this is for the long term."

“Are you really that desperate for cock?”

Run !

"You really should have chosen a better husband." Harsh and not especially helpful but it's ridiculous how often it comes into my head.

@DustyLee123 Yep. Hills.That way-->

‘Oh, for goodness’ sake, grow a backbone!’

I have to admit that I was one of them who would've been on relationship threads. I ignored a lot of red flags in my early relationship with STBXH that caused problems in the end.

Now it's ended and I've seen the light, I just want to shake everyone on MN and scream 'LEAVE!'.

Stop hopping from cock to cock and have some time to learn to love yourself. It's painful and hard work but it's much better than cock hopping and getting hurt!

And... Stop snooping on the phones/social media! You're only going to hurt yourself, if you're at the point you're snooping the trust is gone so just leave them.

Yep you have made bad decisions, everyone has said as such and given advice how to unfuck. Yep I know you will still carry on making same bad decisions. Why bother.

Quite often, "How on earth can you think this is normal?" or "Don't you have ANY self-respect or self-esteem?"

I always want to remind everyone of the Lady Gaga quote:

Some women choose to follow men, and some women choose to follow their dreams. If you're wondering which way to go, remember that your career will never wake up and tell you that it doesn't love you anymore.

Think very hard, would you do this to someone you love? Would you leave them penniless while you are comfortable? Would you expect them to be working every single hour of the day outside the house and inside it while you lay on the sofa and then fucked off for hours on end. Would you swear at them? Hit them? No? Well the answer is there, he doesn’t love you. Because you know you don’t treat people you love like that.

Also don’t be fucking stupid, he’s not a good dad, he’s a lazy twat.

Yes. See also: You really should have chosen a better father for your children. No good saying it once the shit hits the fan, but so often the OP is struggling not just with a poor choice of life partner but also many of the things that are problematic about her partner are also showing up in at least one of her children.

I always want to shoot down the person who says You knew he had children. It's smug and self satisfied and is meant to be the be all and end all when actually situations are more complex than this allows for.

Oh and yes he's definitely not a Good Dad

What on earth did you see in him!

Take responsibility for your choices. Women spent donkeys years fighting for rights over their bodies, jobs, finances, and futures, you cannot just blame the partner for your poor decision-making.

What set your bar so low?

'Put your children first. Sure, a relationship would be nice, but maybe needs to wait while your DC are younger and need your full focus'

why didn't you discuss this before you married him (income!!!)

Wtf were you thinking? To be honest I want to say that on a lot of threads not just those in relationships

Never get into a relationship without having an escape route, at least one.

Start taking responsibility.

Not to actual victims but so many women seem to post about how awful and boring their life is and how they never made an active choice in any of it, it all just happened to them. Every thing they are unhappy with isn’t down to them and they don’t want to change it claiming it’s impossible but actually they just don’t want to make a difficult choice. Which is a choice in itself.

Why on earth did you choose to breed with this loser?

Oh this thread is so therapeutic!

I deleted and didn't post something earlier which boiled down to "FFS stop having unprotected/inadequately protected sex with men who aren't financially or emotionally capable of fatherhood."

If all these inadequate man-child losers literally couldn't get a shag because women had too much self-respect to go to bed with them we might see a proper improvement in the menfolk available so I would really like to make it "stop having sex with men who aren't financially or emotionally capable of fatherhood." but women have needs and a well-protected shag with a hopeless loser may be an acceptable choice if he's sufficiently aesthetically pleasing.