Is there truth in when someone says something when they're drunk? friend texted me whilst drunk.

[juyeti]

Friend is away for a couple of days for a stag do. He doesn't normally drink so guessing not much would render him quite drunk. Last night I received a text at 1am but didn't see it till this morning. It was written terribly with a lot of typos and repeated letters in words so took me a few moments to understand what it said. The coherent version...without some random stuff at the beginning..

"Juyetii, poppy. I miss you. I wish you were here with me. Its so fucking beautiful. So so beautiful. Is it too late to tell you how I feel. You're the one. Let's go back to the beginning. I'm just wasting time. I know it might be complicated but it doesn't matter. it will be okay. I'm too fucking scared to tell you. I wish you feel the same.

I haven't received anything from him yet nor have I replied. I don't know what to make it of it really. Im pretty sure he was drunk when he sent it. Does he actually mean it if he was drunk? Do I bring it up / ignore it?! I've been thinking about it all day!

What a lovely heartwarming post. I’m a Pakistani Muslim (though not particularly religious) married to a white atheist. My parents practice. Talking to them about my wishes was really difficult and I got a lot of grief from my extended family about setting a bad example to my younger cousins. My dad was really insistent on a nikkah so my now husband learnt about the religion, how to pray etc as that was the only way we could see to move forward. Unfortunately, my MIL was furious with it all - was convinced we’d spend our lives arguing about religion and how to bring up our kids. It was a terrible few months where we felt we’d upset everyone. Fast forward 14 years - we have 2 high school children and my parents and extended family are all fine, my aunties hug him every time they seen him, and I have a lovely relationship with my FIL (my MIL died a few years ago, sadly it was a relief for my husband as she was abusive and narcissistic all his life). Basically, there can seem like lots of barriers initially but time is a great healer and the pain was worth it in the long run. Really good luck with this - am rooting for you!

BTW am fairly sure my MIL would have taken it a lot better if we said we were having a different tour of religious ceremony, say a church. It was definitely the fact I was Muslim that got to her 😳

Also, my younger siblings and cousins have chosen a variety of partners- Muslims, non-Muslims, some with nikkah, some no nikkah. Everyone has muddled along. Never would have foreseen this 15 years ago!

I can be a bit chaotic like that and wasn’t aware there were any such rules? Must try harder!

No rules, just that this has been suggested a few times and the thread has moved on considerably.
It's worth reading.

Ouch! Thank you for that. I realise my error. I was reading on the run and only had a chance to catch up now. Forgive me for wanting to express joy at such a lovely story. You are absolutely correct. I am thoroughly chastised. I hope you feel smug now and that you get out of the bed on right side tomorrow morning! No hard feelings.😉

Just reading the whole thing now, love it, so happy for you both and hope it works out x
Following for updates, expecting annual anniversary posts etc 🤪

Thanks, finally! 😉
Good luck, OP. Sounds like a keeper. The man, not the car - once the suspension’s gone it’s downhill from there.

Just noticed this thread, and you've received some wonderful responses. If you two find that you are in love, please don't let family or religion come between you. As long as one respects the other and their beliefs, you can work through anything.

I'm not religious either. I can only say I hope God exists, but Idk. Truthfully, no one really does, and I suppose that's why the word faith was coined. What I do know from my readings - God said to love; He did not say to love only certain people. And honestly, it's difficult because some people can just be so unlovable. If you found one that's worthy of your devotion and returns it, latch on to him. And, according to God's word, that person should take precedence over all others. Parents get respect and cared for; as an adult, they do not rule your life. All of this 'within Faith' or 'within race' came from man, not God. Perhaps, someday, God's commands can be met if we just stop looking at others as different or less-than.

If He does exist, He'll judge, and I'll bet He'll judge you more on how you treated each other than your religious views.

@Birdienumnumm 🤣🤣🤣
@ITryHarder 👏

And furthermore - I laugh at myself, that sounds so preachy, but it made me chuckle more than anything - I THINK that perhaps, in God's wisdom, He created different races and different languages (babble) and tolerates different religions, all as a test to see just how well we listened to the rules. And then all these holy-men came along since then till now, adding their own personal preference interpretations, and here we are. Someone questions and maybe even fears marrying someone for love, which is one of His main requirements. How can it be wrong?

So nice to hear a positive story!

A few years ago I worked with an Anglo Indian young woman who wore hijab etc. One day when I was out after work I saw her meet a young man who wasn’t Muslim (not near our work). He actually turned out to be a mix of Saudi and English parentage and he’d been brought up in both religions but wasn’t that religious then. She felt awful as she said I go on holidays where I wear a burkini, I’m a good Muslim girl, she’d also lost a lot of weight (this was before I knew her) but my parents want a proper Muslim marriage for me. I hope she worked things out. We used to swap makeup tips.

So glad you 'date' meeting him
Went well

Nothing wrong with a snog

Tho I read you has sex on the table 🙀🙀

Obv I re read i😂😂😂

Even though I think the word love is so overused and meaningless...stories like this...

Overused... maybe. Meaningless... no, but my sympathies for your mental breakdown. But if you've never loved anyone or ever been loved, I guess it's understandable where you're coming from.

Well @ITryHarder let's not get into a fist fight over this but... I've been with my wife since we were both 12 - we're 61 and - it's a beautiful thing.

That's wonderful, and rare these days, but then, you of all people should understand love, especially, young love. Granted, it's kind of screwy sometimes, and more often than not, doesn't last long since walking away seems easier than working at it, but... such is life in the new world.

I was just rereading a few things and saw your response to me - "let's not get into a fist fight over this" - you made me laugh. I think I would like you and your wife.

I hope it goes well. If you were to get together would your child's father / grandparents oppose because of the religion differences? I'm just curious.

What a lovely thread.

@ITryHarder I'm not cynical, unromantic or world weary at all about that honeymoon phase but much like someone who says they have a great idea for a book, it's never anywhere near enough on its own to get the story into print - you need a lot more than love for a good relationship and it's far more than just finding or discovering the "right" person or your "soul mate" (I hate that idea too)... it takes years to build what you want in my experience. This thread had romcom film script written all over it...I hope it has a happy ending.

Agree. I told my children that love was great, but like was far more important.

Actually, everyone seemed to get sidetracked from OPs original question about - can you believe what someone says if they're drunk? I think generally yes, the booze gives courage (and sometimes, stupidity) to say what they really think (good or bad). If OP had not had fond thoughts of him also, his confession could have taken him somewhere he'd wish he hadn't gone. Honesty can set you free, or it can kick you in the head.

@juyeti how is it all panning out? I enjoyed reading your last 🙂

100% he meant it. How you respond depends on how you feel about him.

As a rule, I think people are more inclined to say what they really think and tell people how they really feel - both good and bad - when drunk because they don't have the usual inhibitions.

This thread started in July last year, and the love story progressed 😊